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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
The following was posted in the Times Union newspaper. A local NY rag. See
if you can you spot the spin... -------------------------------------------------- http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories...StoryID=465504 Joint custody bill not in child's interest [that is, according to NOW, anyway] By MARCIA A. PAPPAS [president of NOW-New York State] First published: Tuesday, March 28, 2006 The state Legislature is considering the worst joint custody bill that the National Organization for Women -- New York State has ever seen, presuming joint custody in all custody cases, including a deceitful attempt to redefine visitation of non-custodial parents as shared parenting. NOW NYS has always favored primary caregiver presumption legislation to ensure stability and continuity of care for children. If a person is not involved in the lives of his or her children during the marriage, why would that involvement increase after divorce? Therefore, we oppose court-mandated joint custody and oppose changing the terminology to shared parenting. Primary caregiver presumption would cut down on the abusive practice by the moneyed spouse (usually the husband) of coercing the non-moneyed spouse (usually the wife) to make monetary concessions rather than risk a custody battle before a biased court. This threat of a fight for custody is the fear factor that leads mothers to make financial concessions in exchange for the chance to give her children a stable life. One attorney has acknowledged that he often gave that advice to male clients. When he became chief justice of the Supreme Court of Appeals in West Virginia, he was responsible for the passage of a primary caregiver bill. NOW NYS would like to set the record straight. It is a lie that mothers are awarded custody in 95 percent of divorce cases, as fathers rights advocates would have the public believe. Only 1 percent of cases are litigated so mothers get custody by agreement of the parties, whether or not the agreement is coerced as we describe. Let us learn from the experience of others. In California, a report prepared 15 years after divorce reform legislation, found that one-third of joint-physical custody arrangements were indistinguishable in practice from the sole-custody visitation arrangements. After seeing the harmful effects on children by court-ordered joint custody, California ended its presumption in favor of joint custody awards in 1989. Joint custody establishes rights without responsibilities. There is no way under current law to enforce visitation. There are no penalties for failure to visit. There is nothing in this bill, or any other joint custody or shared parenting bill, to enforce compliance with a parenting plan. The term parenting time suggests that all non-custodial parents take an active, positive role in their children's lives. Reality shows us that many parents who are granted visitation choose not to be involved in their children's lives. Change in terminology does nothing to enforce parental responsibility or involvement. Opponents feel that the term visitation carries a negative connotation with respect to non-custodial parents, stating that visitation is associated with visiting relatives in prison. This is clearly a ridiculous argument. People visit family members and other people in many and varied relationships. If parents want to take an active role in their child's life, why would terminology make a difference? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. NOW NYS believes the actual motivation for this change in terminology is to require the court to equate the parenting plan or schedule with actual parenting responsibilities, financial and otherwise. Arguments have been made by non-custodial parents that the costs of spending time with their children should be deducted from their child support obligations, ignoring the fact that it is the primary caregiver who is responsible for the day-to-day expenses of the children. This newly proposed legislation lays the dangerous groundwork for the courts to decrease child support awards based on a change of terminology. It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. Marcia A. Pappas is president of NOW-New York State. |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
She's a **** and has no clue about what's in a child's best interest.
Spewing statistics at every idea to keep the status quo tilted is absolutely NOT in a child's best interest A ****... no more, no less |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote:
It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). She needs a FATHER not a few sporadic visits a year whenever her mother feels like she can get something extra out of the old "sperm donor". Marcia A. Pappas is president of NOW-New York State. |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
Joint custody establishes rights without responsibilities. There is
no way under current law to enforce visitation. Leave it to an organization representing a bunch deadbeat women to make such an dishonest statement as this. Their right of course. Instead of joint custudy, default custody should always go with the Man, who is more often than not paying for the child. If he is paying he should have first dibs on raising the child. Ruben |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. She needs a FATHER not a few sporadic visits a year whenever her mother feels like she can get something extra out of the old "sperm donor". Marcia A. Pappas is president of NOW-New York State. |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Chris" wrote in message news:sEhXf.2352$qd.358@fed1read08... "Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. Since when did spending time with one's own children equate to being a babysitter? Is that really how you view your time with your children? She needs a FATHER not a few sporadic visits a year whenever her mother feels like she can get something extra out of the old "sperm donor". Marcia A. Pappas is president of NOW-New York State. |
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Chris" wrote in message news:sEhXf.2352$qd.358@fed1read08... "Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. Since when did spending time with one's own children equate to being a babysitter? Is that really how you view your time with your children? Your point is valid, but some of this debate has to do with perceptions by fathers. For instance, regularly scheduled visitation time is the father's time. Extra visitation time, or changes to visitation schedules initiated by the mothers, can be viewed by fathers as extra time with the children or free babysitting time. In my experience taking the extra time was a positive thing, and once in a while I needed to alter the "normal" visitation time too, so we worked it out. I think the frequency of the changes, and the reasons given for the changes, have a direct impact on how the changes are perceived. And the children understand when their mom has told their dad a reason for the visitation change, and they know the mom lied to their dad about the reason, their mom is dumping them on dad as a babysitter. My children corrected me several times about what their mom was really doing on those weekends. |
#8
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message news "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Chris" wrote in message news:sEhXf.2352$qd.358@fed1read08... "Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. Since when did spending time with one's own children equate to being a babysitter? Is that really how you view your time with your children? Your point is valid, but some of this debate has to do with perceptions by fathers. For instance, regularly scheduled visitation time is the father's time. Extra visitation time, or changes to visitation schedules initiated by the mothers, can be viewed by fathers as extra time with the children or free babysitting time. If some fathers are viewing additional time with their children as 'free babysitting time", I'd certainly question their perception. Last time I checked, it was parenting one's children - babysitting is what you do for other people's children. In my experience taking the extra time was a positive thing, and once in a while I needed to alter the "normal" visitation time too, so we worked it out. I think the frequency of the changes, and the reasons given for the changes, have a direct impact on how the changes are perceived. And the children understand when their mom has told their dad a reason for the visitation change, and they know the mom lied to their dad about the reason, their mom is dumping them on dad as a babysitter. And dad's never lie about being unavailable for a time they are supposed to have the kids? Uh huh. My children corrected me several times about what their mom was really doing on those weekends. Before or after you questioned them? |
#9
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message news "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message news "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Chris" wrote in message news:sEhXf.2352$qd.358@fed1read08... "Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. Since when did spending time with one's own children equate to being a babysitter? Is that really how you view your time with your children? Your point is valid, but some of this debate has to do with perceptions by fathers. For instance, regularly scheduled visitation time is the father's time. Extra visitation time, or changes to visitation schedules initiated by the mothers, can be viewed by fathers as extra time with the children or free babysitting time. If some fathers are viewing additional time with their children as 'free babysitting time", I'd certainly question their perception. Last time I checked, it was parenting one's children - babysitting is what you do for other people's children. You are right. Babysitters get paid for performing the service. Fathers pay to perform it. In my experience taking the extra time was a positive thing, and once in a while I needed to alter the "normal" visitation time too, so we worked it out. I think the frequency of the changes, and the reasons given for the changes, have a direct impact on how the changes are perceived. And the children understand when their mom has told their dad a reason for the visitation change, and they know the mom lied to their dad about the reason, their mom is dumping them on dad as a babysitter. And dad's never lie about being unavailable for a time they are supposed to have the kids? Uh huh. I wouldn't know. My children corrected me several times about what their mom was really doing on those weekends. Before or after you questioned them? Usually it came out when I made some comment about why the change occurred to accommodate their mother and my children told me there was more going on than I realized. Like I said - I always took these extra opportunities to be with my children. And, frankly, the reasons for the changes didn't faze me. It was the children who monitored how their parents were acting. |
#10
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Joint custody bill not in child's interest - says NOW's NY chapter
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message nk.net... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message news "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message news "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Chris" wrote in message news:sEhXf.2352$qd.358@fed1read08... "Pete" wrote in message news On Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:26:07 -0500, "Dusty" wrote: It is an erroneous implication that the caregiver and the non-custodial parent carry the same load and devote the same time to their children. This is correct. I devote about 60 hours a week in labor to the support of my children. My daughters mother devotes about....um...0 in financial support. As for actual "parenting time" that adds up to 2 hours in the morning and maybe 5 at night. On the weekends she gets dumped off on her grandmother. So yes, the loads are not equal. The basis for this strong battle of the fathers' rights groups is totally financial. It is frequently reported by school guidance counselors that a common complaint of children of divorce is that they don't see their fathers, and it is not unusual for children to complain about the inequities of material advantages they often observe when their father acquires his new family. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that when my daughter reaches a certain age, she'll realize that her mother is a leech. She mooches off the people she knows and the state in which she lives. This bill establishes the pretext of a continuing relationship between children and non-custodial parents, and falsely legislates in the best interest of the child. The reality is that it does nothing to advance the welfare of the children of New York. She is correct yet again! Any time I spend with my daughter is on the pretext of it being some sort of relationship. To her, I'm just some guy that she gets to see every other week (or longer, depending on the mental state of the leech). Not to mention that you are a FREE babysitter, and the mother can go out and play during this time with the FREE money that is extorted from you. Since when did spending time with one's own children equate to being a babysitter? Is that really how you view your time with your children? Your point is valid, but some of this debate has to do with perceptions by fathers. For instance, regularly scheduled visitation time is the father's time. Extra visitation time, or changes to visitation schedules initiated by the mothers, can be viewed by fathers as extra time with the children or free babysitting time. If some fathers are viewing additional time with their children as 'free babysitting time", I'd certainly question their perception. Last time I checked, it was parenting one's children - babysitting is what you do for other people's children. You are right. Babysitters get paid for performing the service. Fathers pay to perform it. Fathers aren't babysitting their own children. They're parenting. In my experience taking the extra time was a positive thing, and once in a while I needed to alter the "normal" visitation time too, so we worked it out. I think the frequency of the changes, and the reasons given for the changes, have a direct impact on how the changes are perceived. And the children understand when their mom has told their dad a reason for the visitation change, and they know the mom lied to their dad about the reason, their mom is dumping them on dad as a babysitter. And dad's never lie about being unavailable for a time they are supposed to have the kids? Uh huh. I wouldn't know. My children corrected me several times about what their mom was really doing on those weekends. Before or after you questioned them? Usually it came out when I made some comment about why the change occurred to accommodate their mother and my children told me there was more going on than I realized. Like I said - I always took these extra opportunities to be with my children. And, frankly, the reasons for the changes didn't faze me. It was the children who monitored how their parents were acting. |
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