Questions For the Co-sleepers....

How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand
on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.
DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and although
she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just before we left
that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead. As we were all
in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into our bed just to
try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When we got back
sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her into bed if I was
really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and decided she would just
be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to put her in a cot. Even
her naps were just on my lap as we were often out and she would still have a
sleep at her regular times, just on my lap, which was fine.
I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling her
and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it and
even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed
anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding
her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on
the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close.
So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it
might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to
me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be
making her nap elsewhere?
As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her
own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6
months now).
And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major
problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that
currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts
chattering away.)
Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to
sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it
at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her
own?

"Linda" wrote in message
...
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

Ummm. I understand they go through a monster under the bed stage at 3, so I
would think not until after that ...

Dagny
Co-sleeping, nursing mom to Meg (10/03) and Poppin Fresh (1/05)

Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand
on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.
DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and although
she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just before we left
that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead. As we were all
in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into our bed just to
try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When we got back
sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her into bed if I was
really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and decided she would just
be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to put her in a cot. Even
her naps were just on my lap as we were often out and she would still have a
sleep at her regular times, just on my lap, which was fine.
I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling her
and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it and
even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed
anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding
her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on
the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close.
So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it
might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to
me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be
making her nap elsewhere?
As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her
own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6
months now).
And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major
problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that
currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts
chattering away.)
Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to
sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it
at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her
own?




They go on their own and then the loneliness sets in... for mum.

LOL

Ronnie loves to feed a lot at night too. Lately it has been less and
less and last night I couldn't sleep for quite some time because I
wasn't sure why he didn't want to.

There is quite a abit of information at askdrsears.com regarding the
night nurser. If you don't mind it, then go with it, but if you do mind
it, there is some advice to help with it.

It is wownderful waking up with them. I konw how you feel to see such a
happy child in the morning.

Jo

"Linda" wrote in message
...
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

Either you or the baby will decide they sleep better on their own. How you
do it really depends on how old the child is and personality types etc. It
will go differently depending on how ready the child is too.

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my
stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.

:-) Ah - things never turn out how we think do they, lol.

I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be
making her nap elsewhere?

I've read plenty of stories that had different outcomes but I can only share
my experience. I nursed both my older kids off for naps and at night and
co-slept at night. I always held my oldest for naps and often held the
second.

The oldest did not nap unless he was held, period. He mostly didn't nap
unless he was nursed to sleep. I could usually nurse him and move him to
dh. He didn't nap for the sitter or dad unless he sort of just fell over.

The second napped better for everyone else. If I nursed him and put him
down he napped for about 40 minutes (held or not) He napped a couple of
hours if he went to sleep for anyone else (not held).

As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her
own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them?

Hunter was 'in transition' from 3-5years old.
Luke was around 3yo but he still comes into my bed a lot.

And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major
problems when she wakes up and I'm not there?

I did have problems with this. I put them to bed and would have to go back
in every 30-40 minutes and spend another 1/2 hour getting them back to
sleep. When I got out of bed in the morning, so did they. It didn't matter
if they were ready to get up or not. Luke was nearly 4yo when he was still
getting up and laying on the bathroom floor when I'd get ready for work.

(I love the fact that
currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and
starts chattering away.)

Aww :-) Luke did that. Hunter cried when he woke up for some reason.

Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back
to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start
limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much
to feed on her own?

For mine I do feel co-sleeping led to lots of night nursing. I finally
weaned mine off the every 2 hr feeds when they were 18mos old. They
continued to wake at night asking to nurse until they were completely
weaned. They were still co-sleeping at that time though.

I don't feel safe sleeping with my twins so I have them in their crib. They
are sleeping much better then my other two did at this age for what it is
worth. Actually they are 3 months and sleeping much better then my other
two did at 4 years, lol.

I still like co-sleeping though. I think it is great.
--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

We were accidental co-sleepers, and I have to tell you, it came and
went for a few years. We finally decided enough was enough when the
small girl took up sleeping perpendicular to us and kicking us off the
bed... that was when she was about two.

We got her to cooperate by sitting her down and very carefully
explaining how nobody was sleeping well at night, and she had to stay
in her own bed all night so that mommy and daddy weren't cranky and
sick all the time anymore, and so that SHE wouldn't be sick all the
time anymore. And we made it clear she was welcome to come in and
snuggle in the mornings, which she stilll does, to this day.

Of course, now I'm pregnant we're having trouble with her climbing back
in to sleep with me a couple of times a night; it's not something
you'll be able to stop all at once... stopping co-sleeping is a kind of
gradual, weaning process...

"Linda" wrote in message
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

When no one is getting any sleep anymore. The age to stop co-sleeping is
parent and child dependent.

She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish feeding
her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do work on
the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so close.

Personally, I wouldn't have a baby nap on my lap. That isn't something I
feel that makes good sleep for a baby and also you are not able to get
anything done. IMO, it sets yourself up for always having the child sleep
that way. I always laid the babies down in their bassinet in a cool, dark
room with a fan going for white noise. They would sleep anywhere from 2-4
hours depending on the time of day.

Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back
to
sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting
it
at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on
her
own?

No, don't limit her at all. Her stomach is the size of her fist and will
need to eat often for her to grow. My girls stopped waking up in the night
at around
8-9 months of age, but every baby is different and it also depends on what
patterns you have established, i.e. if you feed them at every waking when
they are older, they will have that pattern of feeding every time.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed

Simply put: Either you'll get fed up with it, or your husband will, or
she will. That's the time. Opinions of friends, neighbours, doctors,
and members of the family who don't sleep in that bed don't count. ;-)

and at
that point how do you do it?

There are all kinds of ideas out there. I used Tracy Hogg's PU/PD
method from "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" to get Jamie
going to sleep for naps and the beginning of the evening. Then I
night-weaned him when he was sixteen months and within a week or two of
this he started sleeping through (which is by no means everyone's
experience). You can use the PU/PD method to deal with night wakings as
well if you can be bothered (as far as I was concerned, in the middle of
the night I wanted to keep things as quick and simple as possible).
Briefly put, the technique is to stand by the bed giving the baby a
quick cuddle every time he tries to get up and then putting him straight
down again. Her books are bloody irritating despite that particular
technique being extremely helpful, so I'd recommend getting the book
from the library or reading that bit in the bookshop before deciding
whether or not you want to buy it (and don't touch "Secrets Of The Baby
Whisperer with a bargepole - it's a complete waste of time).

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand
on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.

Heh. I'd be laughing at myself. I wasn't going to co-sleep until I had
a baby. ;-)

[...]
I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be
making her nap elsewhere?

Not if you're OK with it. You'll probably find that over the next few
months she'll get too big to nap on your lap easily, and you can change
things then.

As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her
own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is 6
months now).

I did the PU/PD thing for nap and bedtime when Jamie was just over a
year old, and went on taking him into bed when he woke during the night
until he started sleeping through.

And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major
problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that
currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and starts
chattering away.)

Well, you're pretty soon going to end up with practical problems - once
she starts getting mobile, you'll either have to do some major
safety-proofing of the area round the bed, or get her into her cot in
the mornings at that point.

Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back to
sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start limiting it
at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much to feed on her
own?

She might change of her own accord, she might not. Again - if it
becomes a problem, that's when you can change it.


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Hi Linda,

My DD2 has just turned 6 months and I am also co-sleeping. I didn't do this
with DD1 and felt so much more exhausted, through getting up and sitting for
the night feeds and then patiently trying to resettle her in her cot. DD1
didn't sleep great (I did nurse her to sleep) and it was tough. Finally, I
moved her to a sofa bed when she was 18 months and she finally learnt to go
to sleep after a story and 'night, night' at 2 and a half year's old (when
DD2 came along!).

With DD1 was a wonderful nursling and nursed till just after turning 2 (when
she self-weaned - I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time). I nursed her to
sleep for her day naps and loved to nap with her. As she got older I would
nurse her to sleep on the sofa bed (nice and safe on the floor, with all
other safety measures considered) and then get up and do my errands around
the house. I have fond memories of her toddling into the lounge after a
sleep, or sometimes asking for more 'baaboo' (her word for nursing)!

DD2 was in our bedroom from day one (due to the house we're in) and I have
loved it. After a few weeks of trying to put her in her cot, after her
night feeds, I gave up and brought her into our bed. I have loved having
her in bed and feel much more rested for it. However, I have now noticed
that my husband and I are beginning to disturb her sleep and actually wake
her. She is also getting increasingly more mobile. We are moving house in
a few weeks and she will have a room of her own, so I've decided to get a
futon and safe proof her room. I will nurse her to sleep and then go into
my own bedroom (as I am missing 'couple time' with hubbie, though he has
enjoyed having bubs in bed with us too - and she has a very close bond with
him as a result) . When she wakes in the night, I'll go in and nurse her
back to sleep and depending on how tired I am, or how much I sense she needs
my presence, I'll either stay or return to my own room. I found Elizabeth
Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution' brilliant for slow methods on teaching
babies and toddlers how to settle themselves to sleep. I always try to stop
DD2 from nursing herself completely to sleep and try to gently disengage her
when I know she's not actually feeding, but just comfort sucking. Then I
say a little 'night, night' phrase, so she is not quite alseep (but very
close).

For day naps, DD2 will rarely be nursed to sleep (too much noise going on
with DD1), so I rock her in the sling (and then she sleeps on my lap, just
like you!), or she has a nap in the carseat (I park up and do
drawing/puzzles etc. with DD2!), or sometimes she sleeps in the 'front pack'
and sleeps for a couple of hours when I'm out walking, especially near the
sea (mmm, all that fresh air!). I have yet to 'teach' her how to sleep in
the buggy, but know I'll have to when she gets heavier!

I guess you've just got to go with your instincts and your child. Good
luck! I thought I'd never get DD1 to sleep all night and go to sleep by
herself, but it did happen and I know it will, one day, with DD2. The older
they are, the more the understand and you can talk through your expectations
and make it all the more appealing for them.

Sarah


"Linda" wrote in message
...
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my
stand on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.
DH had a business trip a few months ago so DD and I went along and
although she had been sleeping through for 6-8 hours she decided just
before we left that she would wake up every couple hours and feed instead.
As we were all in one room while we were away I ended up bringing her into
our bed just to try to settle her so DH could still get his sleep. When
we got back sometimes she went in her cot, sometimes I would bring her
into bed if I was really tired. Then I travelled to see relatives and
decided she would just be in my bed the whole time, not evening trying to
put her in a cot. Even her naps were just on my lap as we were often out
and she would still have a sleep at her regular times, just on my lap,
which was fine.
I realised that I absolutely LOVE having her in bed with us and cuddling
her and it just feels so right. Luckily DH was happy to go along with it
and even though we've been back for a few weeks she just sleeps in our bed
anyway. She also still takes her naps on my lap, normally I finish
feeding her and she falls asleep and I just let her stay there while I do
work on the laptop, which is quite convenient and I do enjoy having her so
close.
So it's all working quite well for us at the moment, but I'm aware that it
might cause issues later on, like now she seems to need to snuggle next to
me to sleep. I'm quite happy letting her nap on my lap, but should I be
making her nap elsewhere?
As far as sleeping at night, obviously when she's older she will need her
own bed - but how long do others keep their baby in bed with them? (DD is
6 months now).
And if she is that dependant on me for sleeping are we going to have major
problems when she wakes up and I'm not there? (I love the fact that
currently she opens her eyes in the morning, snuggles and smiles and
starts chattering away.)
Also, she's feeding quite often through the night and going straight back
to sleep which is fine, but I was just wondering if I should start
limiting it at some point or will she just naturally not wake up as much
to feed on her own?

Linda wrote:

How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

For Pillbug, it was when I got pregnant and
didn't want him kicking me anymore. Right now,
with Rocky, he's 13 months and I cannot imagine
him not sleeping with me!

For anyone who has read a couple of my previous posts and remembers my stand
on co-sleeping feel free to laugh at me now.

I never even knew about cosleeping. I just
assumed everyone used cribs because that's
what you see in all the movies, advertisements,
etc.

And then, one day, I brought Pillbug into my
bed and it felt so right. Now I wish I had
never put him in the bassinet, because I was
*always* worried about him in there. When I
have a baby in bed with me, I never worry!

-- Anita --

Linda wrote:
How do you determine it is time for a baby to go into their own bed and at
that point how do you do it?

DD1 was capable of sleeping alone at age 3, but wasn't really "ready"
for another year and a half emotionally. DD2 would be happier if Mommy
would just knock it off with the cosleeping shtick and let her sleep,
but I honestly can't get my mind around doing a crib at this late
stage. We recently got a king sized bed, which helps a lot.

I am in cosleeping for the long haul. *I* sleep terribly when my babies
are far from me and I can't hear them breathe.

DD1 started falling asleep in her own room at age 4, and would come
into my room in the middle of the night. This just naturally got later
and later until I told her to wait until sunrise (she was coming in at
5 am when I had to get up at 6, for example...) and then by the time
she was 5, she wasn't cosleeping at all.

Jenrose