OT - SAH or work full time... the issue gets pushed

P. Tierney wrote

I have to agree with this. I think the mother and child sitting alone
at home is a rather unnatural paradigm.

Maybe, but I hope you don't wish to characterize all
stay-at-home situations as the parent and child just "sitting
alone at home".


I'm sure many or even most of them are not.

Still, I personally found that for kids over a year old, preschools
provided a child-friendly world that I could not, even though I had a
large playroom dedicated to their use. It's just that a preschool is
completely geared to kids. The furniture is the right size. The adults
who are present are there for them, not attending to other things like
laundry and cooking. There are new activities and objects quite
frequently. And, most important, there are other small people.

I think SAH moms can provide equivalent levels of fun and learning,
and many do. Especially ones who are homeschooling, at least in the
early years. But some don't, and get overtired with having to watch
the children and also do all the household's work. I'm not suggesting
the OP or any other specific mom fits this profile -- but I've seen it
happen, several times.

Of course, as much as some kids love preschool, there are some who
don't. And if possible, it should be the kids who would hate it that
should stay home, and those who have a blast at preschool should be
given the opportunity.

Rupa

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie Stowe says...

SNIP


Hell, I'd settle for the pool . . .


Not in a million years would I ever get a pool. Well... unless it had a
fence and a pool guy. Otherwise it is risk and work.



I already took the pool guy.

Come to think of it, I'll take the fence, too.

Cheers,
Banty


Is that fence for the pool or the pool guy?

(Rupa Bose) wrote in message . com...
P. Tierney wrote

I have to agree with this. I think the mother and child sitting alone
at home is a rather unnatural paradigm.

Maybe, but I hope you don't wish to characterize all
stay-at-home situations as the parent and child just "sitting
alone at home".


I'm sure many or even most of them are not.

Still, I personally found that for kids over a year old, preschools
provided a child-friendly world that I could not, even though I had a
large playroom dedicated to their use. It's just that a preschool is
completely geared to kids. The furniture is the right size. The adults
who are present are there for them, not attending to other things like
laundry and cooking. There are new activities and objects quite
frequently. And, most important, there are other small people.

I don't know of any preschools with programs for 1 year olds. Do you
mean daycare? I'm not just nitpicking here; this is of interest to me
for a reason. Daycares are generally designed for full-time use and
are priced accordingly (that is, you don't get a huge break for using
it less than full time, and most don't even have a price for less than
3 days a week). But preschools, IME, are usually set up for very
part-time use. They tend to have 2- or 3- morning-per-week programs,
and some then add on an early drop-off and late-pickup ("lunch bunch")
option. But, again IME (and I have asked around a lot, too), very few
of the younger preschoolers (2 and even 3 YOs) are dropped off early
or picked up late.

This is of interest to me because I would like to soon start using
some part-time childcare for my 17 MO. I've sort of "been there done
that" with full-time baby care and could use a break (she's my third
child), but also, she is SO active and fun-loving that it's difficult
to get ANYTHING done around here when she's awake, and she would love
a setting with lots of equipment and other kids; and, finally, I am
self-employed and really want to start working more than I have been
since she was born.

Daycare just seems so expensive and like such a big commitment, but no
preschools around here will be ready for her for more than a year, and
even then (she'll be 2.5), it's unlikely she'll be able to use the
early dropoff and late pickup options because they're geared more
toward older preschoolers, not older toddlers.

Can anyone relate to my situation? Maybe what I need is an in-home
daycare situation where the person takes care of a few kids of various
ages, so my baby would get the fun socializing she loves without me
having to commit her (timewise) for more than she needs or is ready
for.

I think SAH moms can provide equivalent levels of fun and learning,
and many do. Especially ones who are homeschooling, at least in the
early years.

I never saw the need to term good early childcare by a parent
"homeschooling." For me, "homeschooling" starts when a kid is 5 or 6
and would otherwise have to be in a brick-and-mortar school; before
that, it's just good parenting. I definitely have high standards for
my little kids as far as reading to them, doing puzzles with then,
getting them out to new and interesting and "educational" places and
all that (I enjoy that stuff). So I never felt that my older 2
"needed" "school" in their early years. I used preschool (2 and 3 ams
per week) for the oldest as a break for me and so he could play with
kids without me having to have them over too often. My 2nd was
*painfully* shy and I started her very slowly in a 1-am-per-week
playgroup at 2, then 2-am-per-week preschool at 3, etc., so she could
learn to separate and socialize. She did great. Now, as I mentioned,
with my third, I'm just kind of tired of the whole thing, plus this
one has HUGE fun and socialization needs that I wouldn't mind paying
someone to do for me part-time while I make some more money for the
family.

"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"Stephanie Stowe" wrote:

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Nan says...

On Wed, 19 May 2004 19:36:26 GMT, P. Tierney
wrote:

On Wed, 19 May 2004 14:09:20 -0500, Nan

It's always assumed that the mother should be the one to stay home,
and if she chooses to go to work, she's a horrid mother. Pfft.

And unfortunately, some of the "staying at home is awful"
replies aren't using much better logic. The kid is just sitting
around, watching TV, having no interaction, etc. Pfft to that too.

What! You mean a SAHP doesn't lead a life of laaaaazzzy luxury?

Nan, running and ducking EG



Once you've had a bon-bon while watching "Days of our Lives", you'll
never
got
back.


I had a friend (a good and nice friend, but a bachelor and utterly
clueless)
ask me what I did on my days home with the kids. Did I sit and watch tv
all
day? He was over with DH one day when I was not here. He then apologized
for
the stupid question.

It's like the Army, the hardest job you'll ever love.



Since DH used to stay home one day a week with dd#1, he never had any
illusions about what I did all day when I was home full time after #s2&3
(twins) were born!

But my favorite story is about the dad who came home at the end of a day
to see toys in the driveway, a littered livingroom, dishes in the sink,
food on the carpet, the kids undressed and dirty and running around, and
he looked around in horror and asked his wife what she'd been doing all
day?!?! She said, "You know how you ask me every day what I did all
day? Well, today, I didn't."



That one totally cracked me up.

"Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang" wrote in
message ...

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , Stephanie Stowe says...

SNIP


Hell, I'd settle for the pool . . .


Not in a million years would I ever get a pool. Well... unless it had a
fence and a pool guy. Otherwise it is risk and work.



I already took the pool guy.

Come to think of it, I'll take the fence, too.

Cheers,
Banty


Is that fence for the pool or the pool guy?



It is to keep law suits and injuries and death out of the pool.

S

"Nevermind" wrote in message
m...

I would like to soon start using
some part-time childcare for my 17 MO. I've sort of "been there done
that" with full-time baby care and could use a break (she's my third
child), but also, she is SO active and fun-loving that it's difficult
to get ANYTHING done around here when she's awake, and she would love
a setting with lots of equipment and other kids; and, finally, I am
self-employed and really want to start working more than I have been
since she was born.

Daycare just seems so expensive and like such a big commitment, but no
preschools around here will be ready for her for more than a year, and
even then (she'll be 2.5), it's unlikely she'll be able to use the
early dropoff and late pickup options because they're geared more
toward older preschoolers, not older toddlers.

Can anyone relate to my situation?

Hi there! I have a daughter who is thriving in part-time daycare - she's
nearly 18 months old, and goes three days a week. I totally understand why
you would like to get your daughter involved in an active play class for
some part time relief, and for her socialization. My daughter LOVES her
class. She enjoys being at home with me the other four days a week, but
honestly, I sometimes wonder if she's getting *enough* stimulation at home.
I mean, how many times can we read, do puzzles, go to the zoo and the park
before that becomes kind of old? smile

Anyway, I had no trouble finding part-time daycare. Most of the daycares in
my area (Tampa, FL) offer a very flexible package - drop in, hourly rates,
half-days, half weeks.... you name it. I wonder if you might find what you
are looking for if you drop in to the day cares near you and simply *ask* if
they could accomodate you? I don't know where you live, but down here, what
you are looking for is not just possible, but very common.

Best of luck to you!

Donna