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Kids:staying alone
At what age did you start leaving your children alone?
What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions but most of my thoughts are battling with each other. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. TIA |
#2
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Kids:staying alone
"MsLiz" wrote in message
At what age did you start leaving your children alone? I have three kids 13, 10, and 8 (almost 9). I have left the 13-year-old alone for short periods of time when she was 10-11 years old. The 10 and 8 yr old was left every morning last year for 20 minutes so I could take their sister to school. The 10 and 8 yr old have been left alone for short periods of time for about a year now. A couple of weeks ago, I left all three home alone for a couple of hours in the evening so my husband and I could go get something to eat. The 13-year-old is starting to babysit, so I really feel she is responsible to be by herself. What about only children? My sister has an only and he is 10 and he is not left alone. He is ADHD and is not responsible enough. What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? If it is during the day, I have been gone for about 5 hours (had an emergency). I left them at night for the first time and we were gone 2 hrs. What about coming home to an empty house after school? Yep, they have done that for short periods of time. If it was going to be a situation that they had to do it everyday and I wasn't going to be home until after working hours, I would make other arrangements for my 10 and 8-yr old. The 13-year-old could handle it, although she would get bored. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I can't remember exactly how old your daughter is, but I do think that she would be in the age range where I would try to find other arrangements on the days off from school. After school might be different depending how long the gap would be when she is alone. I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. I share your belief. I guess that's why I work at home. ) I always kind of chuckle when I hear moms say that they will go back to work when school starts. IMO, thats when the kids need us the most and they have way too many days off, 1/2 days and vacations to warrant me trying to work out of the house. I don't make that much to have outside care for them during those times. So you have to ask yourself if you don't want your daughter home alone during these times, is there a friend (who has a parent home) of hers that would be willing to take her during those times? And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. I am a career-minded person, so I probably would take it. I think though that the job prospect would have to be really flexible and understanding. I am sorry your husband wasn't too supportive for you. Give me some more details, like what type of job, how old your daughter is and perhaps I can give some more detailed help. -- Sue (mom to three girls) |
#3
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Kids:staying alone
MsLiz wrote: At what age did you start leaving your children alone? When my daughter was 8, I started leaving her at home alone long enough for something like a trip to the grocery store (probably an hour.) One factor in being willing to do that was that we lived in a neighborhood where a lot of the neighbors happened to work at home, so it would have been very unusual for her not to have been able to find an adult quickly if necessary. What about only children? Not sure what you mean. She's not an only child but I wouldn't leave her (now 9.5) in charge of her little brother. What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? I'd be willing to leave her for 2-3 hours now. What about coming home to an empty house after school? If she were a little older, this would probably be OK - but I wouldn't want her to be alone there for hours. I mean, if she were coming home at 3:30 and I was getting home at 4:30, I wouldn't see a problem. Clisby For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions but most of my thoughts are battling with each other. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. TIA |
#4
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Kids:staying alone
"MsLiz" wrote in message oups.com... At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? My oldest is 10, and I have just started leaving her for short periods -- that is, for 20 minutes or so while I'm gone to the local grocery or the post office. I would not let her come home to an empty house every day after school. This is a question that has no good answer. It all depends on your situation and how responsible your daughter is. You might want to call your local child protective services and ask their advice. For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? I worked for a while. Both kids (10 and 7) were in after school care. One of us took off if they were going to be out of school. But our school district does offer child care through the regular after school program for half days and holidays. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. If I had a choice between staying part-time during school hours, and going full-time, I think I'd choose to stay part-time. But that's me. And if you are concerned about your future -- e.g. thinking that you may need to be your sole support sometime in the not-too-distant future, then going full-time might be a wise decision. But consider this -- if you experiment with it and decide it's not working for you, it would look worse to take the job and quit it than not to take it at all. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. Good luck in whatever you decide. Bizby |
#5
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Kids:staying alone
MsLiz wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? First things first, check and see what your community's policies are. A couple of states have (vague) laws. Most communities have some sort of standard that law enforcement uses as a guideline. You don't want to be on the wrong side of that guideline, and they can vary quite a bit. I will leave my 8yo alone briefly (e.g., while I run to school to get the other one, which is about a 10-15 minute round trip, max, with my mother next door). I'll leave my 10yo a bit longer. I wouldn't feel comfortable having either of them come home to an empty house on a regular basis or stay home alone all day on school vacations. I'm very conservative about this, personally. I think the need to not have them home alone after school increases as they get older, so my goal has been to structure my work so that I don't have to do that on any sort of regular basis. I have it pretty easy, though, with my mom next door and a flexible job I do mostly from home. For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? One of the popular programs around here is a martial arts program that provides after school care (including on school days that aren't regular holidays) and camps during summer break. They give the kids supervised time to do homework and they have a martial arts lesson each day. Obviously, the kids make pretty incredible progress ;-) I don't know to what age they continue this program. When it comes to the longer breaks, there are usually camps even for older kids. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... Is there any chance of negotiating a part time position that allows you to be home when you need to be home? Or maybe a position where you could work from home for those hours/days? Since you already have a working relationship with this agency, you have a decent chance of doing that. I work part time, so I don't get benefits and the company saves quite a bit of money that way on a service they'd normally have to pay a lot more for. But, even though I'm part time, they have nearly full time availability to me because they can call anytime and I'll arrange to come in anytime. It's a pretty good deal for them. Best wishes, Ericka |
#6
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Kids:staying alone
"MsLiz" wrote in message oups.com... At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? Mine aren't at that age yet. (Actually I did leave them for nearly a minute while I posted a letter-the post box is just over the road. It was pouring with rain and they were both under the weather) I'd ask how happy she would be to be left alone. I always hated being alone, so I tended to avoid it and I don't think I was left alone until I was 13-14ish for more than 30 minutes say. My sister didn't mind as much and would rather stay at home, so she was left from about 10-11ish. I still don't like coming into a dark empty house so if she's coming back to a dark house I'd set a light on a timer for her. And I'd get an emergency number of a friend who lives locally that she can phone and get to come round if something's happened. (like one time I arrived back to find that I'd left the door on the latch so I asked a neighbour to stand by the door with the children while I checked no one had come in) Debbie |
#7
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Kids:staying alone
On 18 Nov 2005 00:14:41 -0800, "MsLiz" wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? I've been thinking about this myself. I tried searching for the laws in my state but couldn't find a thing. I was staying home alone starting when I was around 6 or 7, for a few minutes at a time or after school if my mom hadn't made it home yet. By the time I was 8/9 I was staying for a few hours each Friday night. My brother was 5 years younger than me and stayed with me by the time I was 8 or 9. My girls are 10, 8.5 and 3. The only time they've ever been alone, was one night when dh's car was ran off the road about half a mile away from the house, the oldest and youngest child were asleep so I set my middle daughter up on my yahoo messenger to chat with my mother in law while he hooked his car to mine and drove back home, it was maybe 10 minutes. Other than that they have not been left alone. I've been wanting to occasionally but I worry. I would NOT leave the 3 year old here but I think I could safely leave the other two. Oh I have gone at night after dh and the youngest are asleep, and the older two are awake and reading or watching tv. They said they feel alone, does that count? lol They do just fine when I do. Now that I have a cellphone I feel better about the whole thing. Marie |
#8
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Kids:staying alone
"MsLiz" wrote in message oups.com... At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? My boys are 16, 12, and (almost) 8 . At this point, they can all be home alone for a full day , if they happen to all have a day off from school (they all go to different schools). We first let them stay home alone about 2 years ago, for a couple hours at a time. I have no experience with only children (well, my niece is an only, she is 10, but my brother is a musician who works nights a lot). For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? I increased to full time when the youngest went to 1st grade (last year) . 16 yr old gets home at 2:50, 12 yr old at 3:25, and 8 yr old at 3:50. I get home at 5: 15. They're fine. They eat, watch tv, do homework, chat on AIM (which I might log onto just to say hi to them). I'm 10 minutes away , DH works 5 minutes away from home (he goes home for lunch most days), and they certainly know how to use the phone! What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? Take a day off, or DH does, or I call my mom. My mom watched the youngest all summer , but she also had my brothers' kids. The 12-yr-old didn't want to go to Grandmas, so he and the 16-yr-old were home for the summer. My boss's wife is a retired school principal so he's really nice about me taking off for school activities and holidays. I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions but most of my thoughts are battling with each other. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. TIA |
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Kids:staying alone
"dejablues" wrote in message news:KXmff.23$kw2.19@trnddc05... I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions but most of my thoughts are battling with each other. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. I hit send too fast before. I'm all about giving kids increased responsibilities and the trust that goes along with them. My boys have a fair amount of responsibility in the family with regards to the daily running of the household and that includes knowing what to do, in some cases working from my lists, and getting stuff done when I'm not there. I was in charge of my three younger brothers after school from the time I was about 12 - my mom worked PT but her hours were mostly in the late afternoon/early evening. Not that they always listened to me, though ;-). Every kid is different, though, and only you know what your daughter is like. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. TIA |
#10
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Kids:staying alone
MsLiz wrote:
At what age did you start leaving your children alone? What about only children? What is the longest that you're comfortable leaving them? What about coming home to an empty house after school? For working out of the house parents: What do you do about after care...and do your kids come home alone and what age are they? What do you do on school holidays, half days, summer vacations? I suppose that this topic has been beaten to death...but it has all been before my time. I have some feelings on all of these questions but most of my thoughts are battling with each other. I was just offered a full time position with an agency that I've been contracting with. I'm not getting any younger and I fear that if I say no, the opportunity might not present itself again. I also know that my daughter's needs come first. As long as she is in school, I'm covered. But they have so many darned days off/half days and long weekends.... I feel that contrary to some popular beliefs, it is crucial to be around kids entering adolescence even more. Testing the waters without a parent home could have a devistating outcome. At least in 6th grade most tweens are too scared to do anything totally stupid. I'm up worrying about what to tell the director tomorrow afternoon. And if it makes any difference to your response: I'm a married, single parent. Husband is rarely home; workaholic. I've been primary caretaker for 11 years in most aspects of her life. Being offered this job did not result in positive dialogue between my husband and I :-( I'm hoping to get some feedbacka nd input from you guys. TIA |
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