IM BACK

Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,and the moment they (talking about child support
enforcement)catches up with her.She moves to another state.Is there any
hope or is it just a hopeless situation.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys
after 3 yrs and throw it in her face.She has moved 4 times this year and
5 times total last year.Wonder where she is getting all the MONEY to do
all this moving.

KEITH CRABILL wrote in message

Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,

Write it off, you are never going to get it. Instead work towards getting
yourself and children into an independantly sound financial situation. Deal
with your current life for yourself.

.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys


Sit back and wait. When she does appear DO NOT mention money. Instead help
her to build a relationship with the children. When that happens she will
start to buy them things herself. At first these will appear wasteful and
unfair to you as they will be the nicities that you cannot afford and the
children will love. Wait. When the time is right, and you are beginning to
get along without too much confrontation, (which is very detrimental to the
kids) suggest that some new clothes or shoes for the children would be a
good idea. The children will love them and want to wear them all the time
because "mummy" bought them. Ignore the fact that you have been buying in
second hand shops or getting hand me downs from friends with older kids.
When mummy sees for herself the joy the children get from something as basic
as new clothes she will want to do more for them and, here is the clincher,
she will think that she has done it all on her own! Over a few years you
will be able to expand on the "essentials" like school books and heating
bills.
NEVER link access with money.
Slowly slowly catchy monkey!
It worked for me.
Although I had to apply for maintenance, I knew there was little chance of
getting any on a regular basis so I asked the judge for £1 a week on the
basis that I would rather not receive £1 than not receive £50. The judge
made an order for £5 a week which, as I expected, has never been paid. She
does now however buy clothes and shoes, has paid for a tank of oil last
winter, bought a bicycle for our son and paid the odd school bill.
I do not have the weekly anguish of not getting the money, she does not have
the legal constraints and our son is delighted with everything he gets.
Take a long term approach.
Dennis

"KEITH CRABILL" wrote in message
...
Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,and the moment they (talking about child support
enforcement)catches up with her.She moves to another state.Is there any
hope or is it just a hopeless situation.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys
after 3 yrs and throw it in her face.She has moved 4 times this year and
5 times total last year.Wonder where she is getting all the MONEY to do
all this moving.

Forget the money......be thankful you have custody, and don't EVER consider
throwing it back in her face when she wants to see the kids. The kids are
bad off enough as it is having only one consistant parent in their lives.

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"KEITH CRABILL" wrote in message
...
Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,and the moment they (talking about child support
enforcement)catches up with her.She moves to another state.Is there any
hope or is it just a hopeless situation.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys
after 3 yrs and throw it in her face.She has moved 4 times this year and
5 times total last year.Wonder where she is getting all the MONEY to do
all this moving.

Forget the money......be thankful you have custody, and don't EVER
consider
throwing it back in her face when she wants to see the kids. The kids are
bad off enough as it is having only one consistant parent in their lives.


Amen!
My ex could keep the child support if he'd only see his kid.

today is his 9th birthday and NOTHING! No phone call, no email, no card.

Nothing.

*b

"turtledove" wrote in message
. com...

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"KEITH CRABILL" wrote in message
...
Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,and the moment they (talking about child support
enforcement)catches up with her.She moves to another state.Is there
any
hope or is it just a hopeless situation.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys
after 3 yrs and throw it in her face.She has moved 4 times this year
and
5 times total last year.Wonder where she is getting all the MONEY to
do
all this moving.

Forget the money......be thankful you have custody, and don't EVER
consider
throwing it back in her face when she wants to see the kids. The kids
are
bad off enough as it is having only one consistant parent in their
lives.


Amen!
My ex could keep the child support if he'd only see his kid.

today is his 9th birthday and NOTHING! No phone call, no email, no card.

Nothing.

*b


Yea, I know what that's like. Bran's not really old enough to understand or
really care, but my ex has no idea when his own child's birthday is. It,
obviously, doesn't bother Bran being 2 and a half, but as he gets older, I
wonder if it might. He doesn't even know his own father, so I'm hoping it
won't bother him as much if my ex continues to ignore B, as well as myself.
I'll stop right now... Before I end up ranting and raving and saying things
that do not belong here, or anywhere, for that matter.

"Dennis Here" youreply
wrote in message ...

KEITH CRABILL wrote in message

Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,

Write it off, you are never going to get it. Instead work towards getting
yourself and children into an independantly sound financial situation.
Deal
with your current life for yourself.

.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys


Sit back and wait. When she does appear DO NOT mention money. Instead help
her to build a relationship with the children. When that happens she will
start to buy them things herself. At first these will appear wasteful and
unfair to you as they will be the nicities that you cannot afford and the
children will love. Wait. When the time is right, and you are beginning to
get along without too much confrontation, (which is very detrimental to
the
kids) suggest that some new clothes or shoes for the children would be a
good idea. The children will love them and want to wear them all the time
because "mummy" bought them. Ignore the fact that you have been buying in
second hand shops or getting hand me downs from friends with older kids.
When mummy sees for herself the joy the children get from something as
basic
as new clothes she will want to do more for them and, here is the
clincher,
she will think that she has done it all on her own! Over a few years you
will be able to expand on the "essentials" like school books and heating
bills.
NEVER link access with money.
Slowly slowly catchy monkey!
It worked for me.
Although I had to apply for maintenance, I knew there was little chance of
getting any on a regular basis so I asked the judge for £1 a week on the
basis that I would rather not receive £1 than not receive £50. The judge
made an order for £5 a week which, as I expected, has never been paid. She
does now however buy clothes and shoes, has paid for a tank of oil last
winter, bought a bicycle for our son and paid the odd school bill.
I do not have the weekly anguish of not getting the money, she does not
have
the legal constraints and our son is delighted with everything he gets.
Take a long term approach.
Dennis




I just have to say that is really, really good advice. I should consider
trying out some of your advice, but I know it would be useless. But
anyways, I really did enjoy reading what you had to say. This is one thing
I will seriously keep in my mind and hopefully come to a point where I can
think back and remember all of this.

"Paul Fritz" wrote in message ...
"KEITH CRABILL" wrote in message
...
Just a ? what do u do with someone who is 3500 behind in child
support,and the moment they (talking about child support
enforcement)catches up with her.She moves to another state.Is there any
hope or is it just a hopeless situation.Should i continue to persue
this.Or should i just sit back and wait till she wants to see her boys
after 3 yrs and throw it in her face.She has moved 4 times this year and
5 times total last year.Wonder where she is getting all the MONEY to do
all this moving.

Forget the money......be thankful you have custody, and don't EVER consider
throwing it back in her face when she wants to see the kids. The kids are
bad off enough as it is having only one consistant parent in their lives.


Agreed. Just focus on the kids. And sorry, but it's not really your
business where she gets the money to move, or to buy a car, or to do
whatever else. If she *were* paying child support do you think you
should have to account for how you spend it? That's what the custody
decision is for.

lm

Who said i wasnt financially independent the money is not for me its for
the boys.Im living quit comfortably.And the boys r doing just fine too.

KEITH CRABILL wrote in message

Who said i wasnt financially independent the money is not for me its for
the boys.Im living quit comfortably.And the boys r doing just fine too.


So why are you whinging about the arrears?
Tell you what, why not pursue it and get your children's mother thrown into
jail. That would make you a real hero.

Dennis