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#1
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
Like I mentioned in a previous post.
Today is my DS's birthday. I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. okay...i'm done venting..... much love and friendship, *bri |
#2
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
In . com,
turtledove typed: Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. okay...i'm done venting..... much love and friendship, *bri Wishing your son a Happy Birthday! Not much else I can say on this subject. It's a sore spot for me as well. Betsy -- Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup. |
#3
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
"turtledove" wrote in message . com... Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? Oh Bri, I'm so sorry. How is your son handling it? Has he said anything to you? Errr that makes me sooo angry, that his own father would do that to him. That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. Good, I'm glad that he has him in his life, it's so important for a kid to feel loved. okay...i'm done venting..... Hey, anytime. Christine much love and friendship, *bri |
#4
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
turtledove wrote:
Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. Happy Birthday Brianne's son! I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) Shame on that family, they will live to regret this one day. His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? What bothers me is that your son's father has a relationship with his child and dis's him like this, that has got to hurt your son so much worse than all the kids who's absent parents ignore them on holidays when they have never even met them. So, your son's father has a much greater responsibility to maintain the relationship since it was already established. That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) You are being a good mother, doing everything you can to meet your child's emotional needs despite his father's inability or unwillingness to do so. Your son will respect you for that one day. For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. amen! I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. And I know you work at holding on to that happiness, you are all blessed. |
#5
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
wrote in message news:GuoSa.102344$Ph3.13006@sccrnsc04... turtledove wrote: Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. Happy Birthday Brianne's son! I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) Shame on that family, they will live to regret this one day. His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? What bothers me is that your son's father has a relationship with his child and dis's him like this, that has got to hurt your son so much worse than all the kids who's absent parents ignore them on holidays when they have never even met them. So, your son's father has a much greater responsibility to maintain the relationship since it was already established. Yeah I totally agree, and I didn't want to bring it up, but it's **** like this that reinforces my belief that my kids are better off. And I'm sorry that that angers some people, but I didn't want my kids to go through that kind of pain, if I could prevent it. My ex had a history of having kids and being in and out of their lives, and I wanted better for them (too bad I was so naive that I thought things with me would be different.) Oh well. Christine snip |
#6
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
"'Kate" wrote in message ... On Sun, 20 Jul 2003 01:26:35 GMT, "turtledove" wasted bandwidth once again by posting: I dunno... how sure are you that they are doing this on purpose and that the cousin even had a party at the gradmother's? Maybe she's not able to do it for the kids this year for some reason. Before jumping to conclusions, call and find out what is going on. ***Unfortunately this is par for the course this past year. My ex-MIL is very 'particular' on how she should be addressed and communicated with. During the December visit, she kept rescheduling his drop-off time. It finally became ridiculous and I had to call up and basically say "you will drop him off tomorrow at 3pm because he has to have a good nights sleep before he starts school the following day". This was after he was SUPPOSED to be home two days prior. His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. That does sound bad. Still... I'd find out what's up. If he's been good about remembering all the other years, then this is an odd thing, isn't it? *** My ex has never remembered, but his family does. Remember, he lives in Alaska his family lives an hour away and until this year, was seeing my son at least every other month. My ex talks to our DS when DS is at his folks. That's it. He's called here MAYBE 5 times in the past four years...and all those times never once asked to speak to DS. Basically called to talk to me. I was the one in the relationship that made decisions and basically took care of everything. He doesn't have the ability to do that himself. He's got a young wife and when she became pregnant for the second time, my ex freaked and called me. The hour long conversation was basically "you love her dont you? Kids are great. You'll be fine. Relax" Hugs to you too... funny how things work out, isn't it? 'Kate ****This one has been a lot of work, and we've already had our fair share of trials, but the work (and continued work) has been worth it. The two of my boys are getting ready for a day at Wet N Wild right now. DS can't stand still he's so excited! :-)!! Glad to see you 'Kate!! Hope all is doing okay for you. much love, *bri |
#7
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
"turtledove" wrote in message . com... Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) I dont have any words of wisdom for ya here Bri, cos this is what I have had for the last 10 or so years. Its something I've just cos used to and I dont even expect anything from them. I'm now of the opinion that at least I'm under no obligation anymore to even *try*. They've made it quite clear that they are in no way interested in the lads and thats their loss not mine. At least I'm not the one that will have any regrets. His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? Apparently very easily for some people. And I cant understand this either. That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) So your glass is fuller than most peoples, at least you have other people around that genuinely love your son......Thats a lot to be thankful for. For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. And this is what you should keep in mind. I know it's easy to be very bitter about his real dad and grandparents behaviour, or lack of it but you are so lucky to have people that can fill the void. Dolores |
#8
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
"turtledove" wrote in message . com... Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. Happy Birthday Luke!! In reading your post, Bri, I couldn't help but think that your son must really love the reality of the day he lives in. Cameron is a great dad to him, You're a great Mom, and he had a blast I know you're ****ed, but, has our birthday boy brought it up? We had Ben's birthday party , to kick off his birthday weekend, leading up to his birthday day on Tuesday. We were a little anxious about heading to a theatre with five 9 year old boys, but they were excellent. We saw The Pirates of the Carribbean and it was JUST SO EXCELLENT I CAN'T WAIT TO BUY THE DVD!!! Anyways,,,,be careful not to stray too far from the realities of the day, ie, who knows what's up with the paternal side of the family. Pick up the phone, you never know what the details of the day are for them. At the very least, you'll give your self the opportunity to vent with details. You know we love details On the other hand, **** em if they can't take a joke. Their day to day involvement will be done once you move to Vegas. Won't it be nice when you can start planning your lives with only your immediate family's best interest in mind? Good luck, lets us know Lisa |
#9
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Sigh..vent ..you've been warned.
"turtledove" wrote in message .com...
Like I mentioned in a previous post. Today is my DS's birthday. I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone on his dad's side of the family. Which is especially sad, because one of his first cousins has the same birthday...so it isn't likely they forgot it. They simply chose not to recognize it this year. Every other year his cousin and him have a combined party at their grandmother's (my son's paternal grandmother....aka his dad's mom) His Bio-Dad didn't even call. NOTHING. And this is the asshole that we sent care packages to while he was at war. This is the asshole who I tried to establish a relationship with his wife so that my son could know his half-brothers. This is the family that couldn't even tell us that he came home safely from Kuwait... I had to send an endless stream of emails until they got so fed up they replied. How the f&*% do you leave a child out in the cold and not acknowledge them at all? How?? That's okay though, he had a great day. We celebrated with a small party with his friends yesterday (Incredible Hulk Cake, pool, water guns). Today he tested for his Red Belt in Tae Kwon Doe (and got it) and went out to lunch at a restaurant where they brought him a cake and all the waiter(s)/watiress(es) sang Happy Birthday to him. Tomorrow his Step-dad is taking him to Wet N Wild for the day. (He's so excited!!!). Oh yeah, and he also got to go shopping for toys with the Birthday money he got from my family. He's currently playing with his new bionicle and GI Joe Ninja (and not the Matrix game he got...go figure!) For all those that think children need or want money (aka child support) they don't. They want a relationship. I'm just blessed that my son has a relationship with his Step-Dad that is as close as it is. If you didn't know them, you'd swear they were biological. Too similar. As my hubby says to his friends "Now I have someone my own age to play with". :-)! We're so blessed. okay...i'm done venting..... much love and friendship, *bri I agree with a lot of the feedback you've gotten already. Your son has a mom and stepdad who love him. The people he lives with are the ones he's going to rely on and the other grownups are peripheral to his life. The birthday tradition with his cousin may not have been as important to him as it was to you. Also as he gets older he probably prefers parties with his own buddies to family parties. And as Lisa said, you're moving a long distance away anyway, so this isn't such a bad time for his extended family to become less integral to his day-to-day life. Remember he's still going to follow your lead emotionally. If you react to his dad's unpredictable contacts with frustration, he'll feel that. But if you react with "oh well, his loss, let's go play catch" then he won't feel slighted either. You've tried, you know? That's all you can do. lm |
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