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Midwives and my birth/story
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my
birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much pain, a whole week later! read on...) I had discussed my birthing plans with the midwife beforehand and had told her definitely, I did not want to be in any more pain that I had to and would want an epidural (and would let her know if by chance I didn't end up feeling like I needed one). When they asked me what was most important to me, I said the health of the baby- I will consent to any procedure necessary, if it IS necessary, for the baby's safety, and also- it was really imoprtant to me not to be in pain. They emphasized to me that it is my choice and they fully support whatever I want be it epidural or IV meds or nothing at all. But they assured me, they would have no problems with me having an epidural, that a lot of their patients have them. But what happened....was traumatic, I labored for 18 hours! My water broke at 4am. I had no pain or cramping or contractions. We went to the hospital at about 5:30am. It took a while to get me checked in, and still no contractions. The midwife showed up and immediately ordered an IV drip of Pitocin!! She didn't even ask me, but she did tell me she wanted to do it and her reasoning. She just said she didn't want me going any longer without contractions. I don't understand this? I told her I've heard Pitocin causes more painful contractions and also can increase chances of a C-section. She said it increases C-section chances ONLY when used in someone whose cervix is not ready and probably in people who would end up having a C anyway. She did say the contractions hit harder, and told me they would increase my pitocin very slowly and give me an epidural as soon as the pain became too bad. Well, it was a few hours but the pain hit HARD. She orderedn the epidural and checked me and I was only dilated to 2cm. Since I had the epidural she turned up the Pitocin. I had NO problems with the epidural..I could move my legs and feel everything, but felt no pain, it didn't bother my back or leave me with a headache. But.,......in 2 hours it wore off, and they called anesthesia to give me more meds. They checked me and I was dilated 10- fully dilated! This was about 3pm. She wanted me to "labor down" before pushing so she had the Pitocin turned off and had me rest for an hour. My epidural wore off again! This time she wanted me to push before ythe epidural and it went on for a long time until I was hurting SO bad and nothing was accomplished. I was pushing hard but the baby wasn't moving. I begged for the epidural again and she finally called anesthesia back. Well.......after more pushing and no baby, and me being completely exhausted and in pain....the epidural wore off again!!! I was crying out in pain, and insisting I wanted and needed pain relief per my birth plan. It was way too long before she actually agreed to get the anesthesia person back in. THEN the midwife told the anesthesiologist "Give her only half the amount you have been since she needs to push". The anesthesiologist shot her a look and looked at me (I'm crying by now) and said "If I give half I may as well not even give ANY because it won't help" and the anesthesiologist gave me MORE--- GOD BLESS HER!!!! I was truly in agony, I don't know why it was so bad. Or why the midwife seemed to not care if my epodural wore off. So anyway after 2 more hours of pushing, they had been seeing the baby's head all this time but she was STUCK, and the midwife even said she could see I was truly pushing hard. She finally told me that I was a good pusher and the baby should have been out by now but wasn't coming down. The midwife told me she was calling the OB and transferring care to him, and she told me to get ready for a C-section!!! She told me it would be the doctor's decision, her hands were out of it now, but in allhonesty I was headed for a C-section so she was having the nurses prepare me. I was SO tense!!! And worried. Also by this time the midwife had caused a vaginal tear while reaching in me. Well...the OB, a really wonderful doctor who I had never met, came in and checked me and said he thought he could get the baby out himself. He did have to use forceps and I did have to push but he had the baby out in 10 minutes!!! He also scolded the nurses for some equipment being labelled wrong, my husband said (I wasn't paying attention!) The dr was all-business and he got the job done. And one more thing I forgot to mention, all the while my epidural had worn off, the midwife kept telling me "You said it hurts once- don't mention it again! We are going to think about something else now", and wouldn't let them redo my epidural until SHE wantd them to. My mom did come to the hospital and heard the midwife telling me at the beginning that they would give me pain medication to take care of my pain, not to be nervous. My husband never left my side the entire labor so he witnessed how the midwife did. But anyway, every time after that I said I hurt and was asking for epidural, the midwife would get on me and tell me I had to think about something else, my pain would "not be zero", I would hurt some. !!!! I was furious. Actually that was afterwards, during labor I was just upset and in a lot of pain. I feel the midwife was WAY wrong to deny me the epidural after it kept wearing off. My labor nurse said hers wore off every 2 hours also. Also, if the midwife had turned me over to the OB in the first place, soon after realizxing the baby wasn't coming out, I wonder if I would have as many stitches. They did not do episiotomy but I tore through the muscles and had a lot of stitches. The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my bottom is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my "anxiety" causing me to "think" I hurt bad. !!!!!!Then she said "Do you think that's what it is Jiiiiiiill?" My husband was in the room, and looked kind of surprised when I took a tone with her for the rest of the phone call. My husband had me call the midwife on call because he wanted them to meet me at the ER to make sure my stitches aren't coming out or I am not bleeding internally. I finally ended up calling the OB on call for the OBs office that the midwives partner with. I told him about all of this. He told me his wife had the same thing happen (had a tear through her muscles) and that it is very painful indeed and he knew that's what happened to me from what happened during labor and my description of the pain now. He's having me come in Monday to see the OB who delivered my baby to check me. He said unfortunately, the midwives don't like to treat pain with medicines, that the OBs are more pain-centered. I told him-- they told me at my initial consult that they had no problem giving you whatever pain relief you need- then I told him about the anxiety comment. He sort of couldn't believe that. But he also couldn't believe the midwife let me keep pushing when the baby was stuck, for 4 hours... Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches, has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they have been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want a natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else the patient needs or prefers. But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her. Oh- the OB also told me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off, because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!! he also said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me! I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a nurse-midwife. |
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