Met with lawyer

The summary of his advice was that there wasn't much that could be done
to prevent the State from meddling in our affairs, although he told me
he would look into it and get back to me in a week. He told me that
even if we set up "shared placement" (the Rhode Island equivalent of
"joint physical custody"), that could change five years down the road
with a change in circumstance (like my GF and I breaking up). Not much
to be done but "throw caution to the wind" and "trust in the LOVE!"

I had thought that the court tended to keep existing custody
arrangements intact unless presented with a GOOD reason to change them
(i.e. someone gets busted for drugs, etc).

I had thought that if we "never went to the court and worked things out
between us", one parent could always visit the family court twenty years
later and demand "back support" from a judge who had no knowledge of an
unofficial agreement -- and no reason to accept it?

What will my sons do? What will I tell them when they come of age? Are
fathers forced to keep their mouths shut and let their sons be tricked
into dangerous situations if they ever want to see grandchildren? Is
there NO way for a man to prevent a lazy wretch from posing as someone
worthwhile and then draining his life's blood for two decades?

When will the courts stop awarding the lion's share to those who do the
LEAST amount of work and take on the LEAST amount of responsibility?
When will we finally, finally bleach the parasites and scum from the
face of the earth? When will we know the satisfaction of watching them
tremble in fear as they know that the gig is up and they are about to
get what is coming to them? When?

There is no trusting the State in this matter, they have too much
invested in keeping people adversarial and whispering in the woman's ear
about how greatly she can profit from their Devil's Bargains. CSE
laughs like the Devil it is and throws more pitch on the fire with its
black fork.

THEY ARE *ABUSERS*!!! Why does no one else *SEE* this?!?

I have my son with me 50% of the time and yet I must pay 90% of the
standard (overblown to begin with) CS order. My ex sits and sits and
sits and sits on her fat, lazy ass and has no intention of budging until
she absolutely HAS to. Oh, but she is doing me a *favor* by *allowing*
me to see my son! And she isn't even the Custodial Parent!

Disgusted,

- Ron ^*^

"Werebat" wrote in message
news:jln_d.64727$7z6.63637@lakeread04...

The summary of his advice was that there wasn't much that could be done to
prevent the State from meddling in our affairs, although he told me he
would look into it and get back to me in a week. He told me that even if
we set up "shared placement" (the Rhode Island equivalent of "joint
physical custody"), that could change five years down the road with a
change in circumstance (like my GF and I breaking up). Not much to be
done but "throw caution to the wind" and "trust in the LOVE!"

I had thought that the court tended to keep existing custody arrangements
intact unless presented with a GOOD reason to change them (i.e. someone
gets busted for drugs, etc).

I had thought that if we "never went to the court and worked things out
between us", one parent could always visit the family court twenty years
later and demand "back support" from a judge who had no knowledge of an
unofficial agreement -- and no reason to accept it?

What will my sons do? What will I tell them when they come of age? Are
fathers forced to keep their mouths shut and let their sons be tricked
into dangerous situations if they ever want to see grandchildren? Is
there NO way for a man to prevent a lazy wretch from posing as someone
worthwhile and then draining his life's blood for two decades?

I'm NOT going to keep my mouth shut. When my son is old enough I am going
to tell him exactly what is going on. I will not stand by and let him get
suckered into this EVIL system of legalized slavery. I am also going to show
my daughter how her mother has been leeching off of everybody that will
allow it. Of course I can't come out and say that to her, but I will make it
very obvious just by the facts. Today belongs to her mother...tomorrow is
mine!

When will the courts stop awarding the lion's share to those who do the
LEAST amount of work and take on the LEAST amount of responsibility? When
will we finally, finally bleach the parasites and scum from the face of
the earth? When will we know the satisfaction of watching them tremble in
fear as they know that the gig is up and they are about to get what is
coming to them? When?

We may never know that satisfaction, but I'd settle for just feeling like
there is some kind of fairness in the system where I don't feel like missing
a day of work could result in jail while the lazy wench is not even working.

There is no trusting the State in this matter, they have too much invested
in keeping people adversarial and whispering in the woman's ear about how
greatly she can profit from their Devil's Bargains. CSE laughs like the
Devil it is and throws more pitch on the fire with its black fork.

THEY ARE *ABUSERS*!!! Why does no one else *SEE* this?!?

I see it every day of my life. I see how a government "family" agency has
been corrupted so that they are like mafia enforcers selling protection to
men. Of course, like any thug, they get a cut.

I have my son with me 50% of the time and yet I must pay 90% of the
standard (overblown to begin with) CS order. My ex sits and sits and sits
and sits on her fat, lazy ass and has no intention of budging until she
absolutely HAS to. Oh, but she is doing me a *favor* by *allowing* me to
see my son! And she isn't even the Custodial Parent!

I see this like any other racket...Of course the people reaping the rewards
are going to set it up so that it stays in their control. Your kids and
freedom are held hostage until you pay the ransom.

Disgusted,

- Ron ^*^

What did I tell you. Least your attorney has some sense. And without a
marriage license... When people get too emotional about a subject they
tend to loose subjectivity. I mean "When will we finally, finally bleach
the parasites and scum from the face of the earth"? Or "watch them
tremble" You don't own a secret weapon of mass destruction do you? You
sound like one of those maniacal anti-heroes from a bad 50s B movie.
I don't understand why you give yourself ulcers over this. You can't
control how your ex is. Who cares if she is worthless. You can't change
it. You can, however, control the relationship you have with your son.
If he sees you in this state, or hears you bad mouth his mother then
your relationship will surely suffer. She is not doing you a 'favor'.
You have rights; pure and simple.
The parent with whom the child resides have the most responsibility, by
far. The courts do not award the lion's share to the parent that
accomplishing the least. Rather to the parent with whom the child
resides most of the time. If your son resides with her then she does
have the lion's share of the responsibility for him. You say 50%. Is
that literally?
Florida must be pretty soft on CSE. A friend from Indiana, were I grew
up, said they are very strict there. You obviously feel Rhode Island
takes CSE seriously
And see, what did I tell ya about trusting in love? You had to pay an
attorney fee to hear it. I told you previously, pro bono.
Bill

Don't take this the wrong way, but why did you get her pregnant if you
hadn't cleared this up?


"Werebat" wrote in message
news:jln_d.64727$7z6.63637@lakeread04...

The summary of his advice was that there wasn't much that could be done to
prevent the State from meddling in our affairs, although he told me he
would look into it and get back to me in a week. He told me that even if
we set up "shared placement" (the Rhode Island equivalent of "joint
physical custody"), that could change five years down the road with a
change in circumstance (like my GF and I breaking up). Not much to be
done but "throw caution to the wind" and "trust in the LOVE!"

I had thought that the court tended to keep existing custody arrangements
intact unless presented with a GOOD reason to change them (i.e. someone
gets busted for drugs, etc).

I had thought that if we "never went to the court and worked things out
between us", one parent could always visit the family court twenty years
later and demand "back support" from a judge who had no knowledge of an
unofficial agreement -- and no reason to accept it?

What will my sons do? What will I tell them when they come of age? Are
fathers forced to keep their mouths shut and let their sons be tricked
into dangerous situations if they ever want to see grandchildren? Is
there NO way for a man to prevent a lazy wretch from posing as someone
worthwhile and then draining his life's blood for two decades?

When will the courts stop awarding the lion's share to those who do the
LEAST amount of work and take on the LEAST amount of responsibility? When
will we finally, finally bleach the parasites and scum from the face of
the earth? When will we know the satisfaction of watching them tremble in
fear as they know that the gig is up and they are about to get what is
coming to them? When?

There is no trusting the State in this matter, they have too much invested
in keeping people adversarial and whispering in the woman's ear about how
greatly she can profit from their Devil's Bargains. CSE laughs like the
Devil it is and throws more pitch on the fire with its black fork.

THEY ARE *ABUSERS*!!! Why does no one else *SEE* this?!?

I have my son with me 50% of the time and yet I must pay 90% of the
standard (overblown to begin with) CS order. My ex sits and sits and sits
and sits on her fat, lazy ass and has no intention of budging until she
absolutely HAS to. Oh, but she is doing me a *favor* by *allowing* me to
see my son! And she isn't even the Custodial Parent!

Disgusted,

- Ron ^*^

William Barger wrote:

What did I tell you. Least your attorney has some sense. And without a
marriage license... When people get too emotional about a subject they
tend to loose subjectivity. I mean "When will we finally, finally bleach
the parasites and scum from the face of the earth"? Or "watch them
tremble" You don't own a secret weapon of mass destruction do you? You
sound like one of those maniacal anti-heroes from a bad 50s B movie.

Or maybe Nat Turner.


I don't understand why you give yourself ulcers over this. You can't
control how your ex is. Who cares if she is worthless. You can't change
it.

True that. I no longer care about what she does with her life other
than how it affects my son. But Papa Government won't let me stop being
affected by her slothful indolence.


You can, however, control the relationship you have with your son.
If he sees you in this state, or hears you bad mouth his mother then
your relationship will surely suffer. She is not doing you a 'favor'.
You have rights; pure and simple.

Then why was I jailed for two days when I never missed a payment of C$?
Why did they let someone in prison with me post bail and leave the
night they arrived WHEN THEY HAD *STABBED* SOMEONE, but not me? You
have this funny definition of the word "rights".


The parent with whom the child resides have the most responsibility, by
far. The courts do not award the lion's share to the parent that
accomplishing the least. Rather to the parent with whom the child
resides most of the time. If your son resides with her then she does
have the lion's share of the responsibility for him. You say 50%. Is
that literally?

Yes, asshole. Literally. Like I've said. Several. Times. In fact he
is with me about half an hour more per week than he is with her. Get
that fact through your pointy little trolling head.

Sorta blows your words out of the water, doesn't it? No one is leaning
on HER to be responsible. I wonder why?


And see, what did I tell ya about trusting in love? You had to pay an
attorney fee to hear it. I told you previously, pro bono.

It's more like "trust in the greed of the legal system". Why should
they allow people to forge an enforceable peace when there is so much
more profit in escalating weapons sales between them?

- Ron ^*^

Simpledog wrote:

Don't take this the wrong way, but why did you get her pregnant if you
hadn't cleared this up?

Oh, well, we had planned on clearing it up later on. And to be honest,
I do trust her. She's an amazing woman. I seriously doubt I'll ever
have to worry about any of this with her.

But...

You never know.

She is as interested in working this out as I am. She earns three times
what I do and works longer hours. It is not inconcievable that I could
win a custody battle on grounds that I spend more time with the child.
Then she would be paying through the nose, evidently even if we were to
split physical placement 50/50.

Family Court says it's all for the children, but in reality it's all
about the Benjamins, folks!

- Ron ^*^

"Werebat" wrote in message
news:02H_d.65143$7z6.5545@lakeread04...

SNIP

She is as interested in working this out as I am. She earns three times
what I do and works longer hours. It is not inconcievable that I could

This is the key - next time around you meet up with someone who makes and
has assets as much or MORE than you do. This prevents you from getting
slammed in the family law court room. I lucked out and found a great
woman - never married, no kids, college degree, decent job.

win a custody battle on grounds that I spend more time with the child.
Then she would be paying through the nose, evidently even if we were to
split physical placement 50/50.

Family Court says it's all for the children, but in reality it's all about
the Benjamins, folks!

- Ron ^*^

I think this is pretty good advice. It's not my intention to sound too
sexist, but often many men do choose women that... well, need to be cared
for...um, maybe too much. Which I truely do not believe is, in and of
itself bad. As a matter of fact my feelings are that I believe a man's
natural inclination to be hmm...I don't know the right words... main
support, (ugh, some of you are gonna hate this) natural head of the family..
um, tough guy, king kahuna, whatever... is a wonderful thing! (I promise I
am not making fun, I just really can't find the right term, but I hope you
get my drift)... My husband is truely my rock, I thank God for him daily.
And, although I don't make the kind of money that he does, I do make about
2/3 of it and I did come into our marriage with sizable assets (no pun
intended) as both my parents were deceased and there was an inheritance...
which is probably not important. But what is, is that we BOTH work for the
benfit of our family and I fully understood his work ethic and he understood
mine long before we ever said "I DO".

I have read this group on and off for years, and it still hurts me to hear
the pain I read here. Since I haven't been here for awhile it's probably
best that you know that I'm on the conceived "other side" of the fence from
the majority of you here... but it doesn't change that no matter who got
screwed the person that was the offender it not here ... my ex-husband left
his two daughters years ago and no matter how much my husband loves them,
they will never be whole, knowing they weren't important enough him to stick
around for. And every now and then those issues come up in our lives...
those daughters are 19 and 21 years old now....and when those hurts come up
I tend to check back in here....

It's good to vent! Sometimes it prevents people from doing things they will
regret later. But just maybe if we share we can help our kids thru those
hurts.........

Andi

"flinrius" wrote in message
link.net...
"Werebat" wrote in message
news:02H_d.65143$7z6.5545@lakeread04...

SNIP

She is as interested in working this out as I am. She earns three times
what I do and works longer hours. It is not inconcievable that I could

This is the key - next time around you meet up with someone who makes and
has assets as much or MORE than you do. This prevents you from getting
slammed in the family law court room. I lucked out and found a great
woman - never married, no kids, college degree, decent job.

win a custody battle on grounds that I spend more time with the child.
Then she would be paying through the nose, evidently even if we were to
split physical placement 50/50.

Family Court says it's all for the children, but in reality it's all
about the Benjamins, folks!

- Ron ^*^

A profit for who?

They didn't teach grammer at Harvard?
You are deafanately inntooleckshually stuperior to WHOM?
English 101
First lesson free aka pro boner
It might be useful to compare the forms of who to the forms of the pronouns
he and they. Their forms are similar:

Subject
Form Possessive
Form Object
Form
Singular he
who his
whose him
whom
Plural they
who their
whose them
whom


To choose correctly among the forms of who, re-phrase the sentence so you
choose between he and him. If you want him, write whom; if you want he,
write who.

a.. Who do you think is responsible? (Do you think he is responsible?)
b.. Whom shall we ask to the party? (Shall we ask him to the party?)
c.. Give the box to whomever you please. (Give the box to him.)
d.. Give the box to whoever seems to want it most. (He seems to want it
most. [And then the clause "whoever seems to want it most" is the object of
the preposition "to."])
e.. Whoever shows up first will win the prize. (He shows up first.)



"William Barger" wrote in message
...
A profit for who?