Introducing your newborn baby to your dog

Introducing your dog to your newborn

If your dog has a pulse, then he or she has a very wide spectrum of
emotions. So it stands to reason there are plenty of reasons to be
nervous about an introduction of your newborn and your dog. After all,
this is the ultimate mix of jealousy, post partum exhaustion,
liftestyle change, nervousness (on your part), and so on.

While I'm no authority on this subject, I can say that I've gone
through it with pretty good success across the board --- the 'board'
being our trinity of Rhodesian Ridgebacks, all of whom have very
different personalities. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a
happy
and smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our first
child into the family.

********

The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some
pre-birth
measures to consider :

* Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture,
contraptions, lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when
the baby comes home, it's best to introduce the baby-related things to
your dog before the baby's birth. "Trick" your dog into thinking that
the stuff has nothing to do with the baby. After all, how can you dog
make the connection between the baby and its stuff when the baby isn't
in the picture yet? Take all the baby stuff and just place it around
the house. Especially in the high traffic areas like living rooms,
family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just sit there for a couple
weeks.

* Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with
praise (and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby.
Encourage him to become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance
if he's inclined to throw himself around when he gets excited.

* Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe
allows for the possibility that you might talk to and care for another
being, other than just him.

* Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell.

* If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some
thought to how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large
breed dog and he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will
be on the bed with mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the
time to wean the dog off the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited
conditions under which being on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big
proponent of taking dogs' "rights" away from them, but this is one
circumstance that may merit an exception. The key is to do it weeks
before the baby comes home so that the dog doesn't resent the baby.

* Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled
conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself
and your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce
your dogs to toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could
quickly tun into a slap-and-pull fest in which the dog learns to
dislike little people.

* The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel
that was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will
prepare the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the
baby over and over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents.

***********

The big day :

* On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (the dog will miss her
and possibly
be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes in a couple
minutes later with the new family member.

* The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave
in a panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the
potential for the dog making an immediate association that something is
very much alive, very much real, and too good for the dog to be
involved with. Instead, stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as
the dog "checks in with" the baby. Let the dog know that it has a job
(i.e. to take care of the baby by checking in frequently, showing
concern and love). Doing otherwise could be
the beginning of big problems. No licking on the face, but the top of
the head and the rest of the body is fine.

* The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least
likely time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it
is super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the
association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised
attention. It might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it
needs to be genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during
the day). These walks need to be consistent for the first several days.
I realize that this is the least convenient time in the world, but
think of it this way : if you don't pay now, you just might pay later.
Trust me, it's worth it. It goes without saying that this is a daddy
job, not a mommy job.

* In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love,
exuberance, and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would
be an unrealistic expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the
baby. Instead, you are looking for anything within the spectrum of
indifference and concern for the baby's welfare. (The dog should be
given the option of showing no particular attachment. That can be
developed later).

************

One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my
first baby's birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the
birth, I would never go by one of my dogs without making an intentional
step in their direction and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just
for a few seconds), I caught myself passing them as if they were
invisible after the birth. I would step over them to get where I was
going, or just walk around them. As insignificant as that may seem, I
think it triggered a concern on their part that I was still willing to
walk them, be with them, etc., but that my attention was no longer of a
very high quality. Don't let this happen to you and your dogs! Your dog
needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your heart really
lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel more
complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at this
stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high
and constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right
thing, get out a box of tissues and read this :
http://www.crean.com/jimwillis/how-could-you.pdf

It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and
dogs will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly.

Hany Hosny
August 2006

Note : This article may not be copied or used by others in print or
digital form without prior authorization of the author (me). Simply
email for permission to use. I almost always say yes, but if I see it
used without my permission, I can be pretty toxic. Just do the right
thing, okay?

Note a danger of dogs with little children. Apparently some
dogs have bitten and killed little children, even after
living peacefully with them in the family for months or years.
The main reason is a difference in how dogs and children
signal submission.

A mother dog will gently bite puppies to show dominance
over them. The puppies signal submission by staying very
still, and the mother stops biting them. This might happen,
for example, if they're play-fighting and the mother
wants the action to stop.

If a human child is bothering a dog, and if the dog
believes it deserves to be dominant over the child, the
dog will gently bite the child in a similar way.
However, a human child does not react to being bitten
by staying still to indicate submission. A human child
struggles and cries, to try to signal that the other
should stop doing something that hurts. The more the
child struggles and cries, the more the dog assumes
that the bite must not be hard enough for the child to
feel it. The dog bites harder and harder and can kill
a baby or small child.

Perhaps it's never entirely safe to leave a baby or
small child with a dog. As the child grows, as soon
as possible it's probably safest to ensure that the
dog understands that the child is dominant over the
dog. Ways to do this might include having the child
control the dog with a leash; avoiding letting the
dog go up on any furniture (since being higher can
be a symbol of domination), etc. Note that just because
the parents think the child is dominant over the dog
doesn't necessarily mean the dog thinks the same way.

I've seen a small child holding a leash but with
the dog pulling the child around.

"Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message
...
dog. Ways to do this might include having the child
control the dog with a leash; avoiding letting the
dog go up on any furniture (since being higher can
be a symbol of domination), etc. Note that just because
the parents think the child is dominant over the dog
doesn't necessarily mean the dog thinks the same way.

I've seen a small child holding a leash but with
the dog pulling the child around.

That's what our little 6 lb. dog does with DD. Is that a sign of dominance
for the dog, if the dog can pull her around? She loves having the dog on a
leash.

"toypup" wrote in message
...

"Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message
...
dog. Ways to do this might include having the child
control the dog with a leash; avoiding letting the
dog go up on any furniture (since being higher can
be a symbol of domination), etc. Note that just because
the parents think the child is dominant over the dog
doesn't necessarily mean the dog thinks the same way.

I've seen a small child holding a leash but with
the dog pulling the child around.

That's what our little 6 lb. dog does with DD. Is that a sign of
dominance for the dog, if the dog can pull her around? She loves
having the dog on a leash.

No, pulling is not in and of itself a sign of dominance. Dogs pull
because they are excited and want to explore and run. It may be a
sign of a dog that is not well trained, but honestly, at 6 lbs, it may
not be necessary to train this dog to heel. I mean, sure, if you're
going to enter him in obedience trials, or if you want to get him
reliable off leash, but as a 6 lb dog will never be able to pull away
from you, heeling is optional.

Of course, if he's actually able to pull your daughter around -- that
is, if she can't stop even if she wants to -- you should not let her
be the one holding the leash outside.

Bizby

"bizby40" wrote in message
...
Of course, if he's actually able to pull your daughter around -- that is,
if she can't stop even if she wants to -- you should not let her be the
one holding the leash outside.

Nah. The dog usually doesn't pull so much as lead, except when the dog
next-door starts barking. DD seems to be able to keep the dog under
control, and she only walks the dog on the leash in the backyard.

No, pulling is not in and of itself a sign of dominance. Dogs pull
because they are excited and want to explore and run. It may be a
sign of a dog that is not well trained, but honestly, at 6 lbs, it may
not be necessary to train this dog to heel. I mean, sure, if you're
going to enter him in obedience trials, or if you want to get him
reliable off leash, but as a 6 lb dog will never be able to pull away
from you, heeling is optional.

Of course, if he's actually able to pull your daughter around -- that
is, if she can't stop even if she wants to -- you should not let her
be the one holding the leash outside.

Bizby

Thanks for a reply that is well-informed and takes into account canine
behavior as well as parenting responsibilities.

As Bizby points out, pulling on a leash has nothing to do with
dominance. And as ToyPup implies by example, expecting a small child to
handle a dog (on lead) in a less controlled "world" than the backyard
strolls that DD and the dog share would be irresponsible parenting.

The article I posted is one that helps dogs take the baby's birth in
stride, ideally leading to affection instead of reflexive behavior and
aggression.

Its the absence of a plan that can often lead to the problems alluded
in the first reply to this thread.

Catherine Woodgold wrote:

Perhaps it's never entirely safe to leave a baby or
small child with a dog.

There is no "perhaps" about it. A child should never be left alone
with any dog until they are able to respect the boundries of the
animal, and even then, it depends on the animal. In *most* cases I
would not leave a child alone with a dog, if the child is under the age
of about 10-12.

As the child grows, as soon
as possible it's probably safest to ensure that the
dog understands that the child is dominant over the
dog.

That's old-school ideology about dominance and submission. Domestic
dogs behave quite differently - dominance and submission are
situation-dependant.

-L.