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Introducing your newborn baby to your dog
Introducing your dog to your newborn
If your dog has a pulse, then he or she has a very wide spectrum of emotions. So it stands to reason there are plenty of reasons to be nervous about an introduction of your newborn and your dog. After all, this is the ultimate mix of jealousy, post partum exhaustion, liftestyle change, nervousness (on your part), and so on. While I'm no authority on this subject, I can say that I've gone through it with pretty good success across the board --- the 'board' being our trinity of Rhodesian Ridgebacks, all of whom have very different personalities. For what it's worth, here's how we made for a happy and smooth transition from being without kids to bringing our first child into the family. ******** The process starts *months* before the baby's birth. Here are some pre-birth measures to consider : * Rather than bombard your dog with new baby stuff (furniture, contraptions, lotions, clothes, swings, seats, strollers, etc.) when the baby comes home, it's best to introduce the baby-related things to your dog before the baby's birth. "Trick" your dog into thinking that the stuff has nothing to do with the baby. After all, how can you dog make the connection between the baby and its stuff when the baby isn't in the picture yet? Take all the baby stuff and just place it around the house. Especially in the high traffic areas like living rooms, family rooms, kitchens, and so on. Let it just sit there for a couple weeks. * Invite friends with infants to visit your house. Reward your dog with praise (and treats) when he shows *gentle* concern for the baby. Encourage him to become "light-footed" and to hold back his exuberance if he's inclined to throw himself around when he gets excited. * Buy a doll and talk to it so that dog understands that this universe allows for the possibility that you might talk to and care for another being, other than just him. * Use baby lotion on yourself to accustom the dog to the baby's smell. * If your dog is allowed up on the bed, you'll want to give some thought to how this will work when baby comes home. If you have a large breed dog and he's allowed on your bed, the baby (who presumably will be on the bed with mom for nursing, etc.) is at some risk. Is now the time to wean the dog off the bed (or, better yet, to learn the limited conditions under which being on the bed is okay)? I'm not a big proponent of taking dogs' "rights" away from them, but this is one circumstance that may merit an exception. The key is to do it weeks before the baby comes home so that the dog doesn't resent the baby. * Test the waters with other infants *in public* (and under controlled conditions); reward gentle behavior with treats and praise. Do yourself and your dog the favor of being selective, though. If you introduce your dogs to toddlers whose coordination isn't keen yet, it could quickly tun into a slap-and-pull fest in which the dog learns to dislike little people. * The day before the baby comes home, have the dog smell a hat / towel that was on the baby (bring it home in a plastic ziploc bag). This will prepare the dog for the baby's actual presence. Repeat the name of the baby over and over in a soothing way as the dog takes in deep scents. *********** The big day : * On the big day, have mom walk in without baby (the dog will miss her and possibly be too excited for her to hold the baby safely). Dad comes in a couple minutes later with the new family member. * The most crucial part : how you react to the mingling. If you behave in a panicked way and push the dog away from the baby, there's the potential for the dog making an immediate association that something is very much alive, very much real, and too good for the dog to be involved with. Instead, stroke the dog and coo gently with praise as the dog "checks in with" the baby. Let the dog know that it has a job (i.e. to take care of the baby by checking in frequently, showing concern and love). Doing otherwise could be the beginning of big problems. No licking on the face, but the top of the head and the rest of the body is fine. * The first few days of the newborn's life might seem like the least likely time for you to take the dog down the street for a walk, but it is super-important that you erase all possibility that the dog make the association of the baby's arrival with a degree of compromised attention. It might not be a long walk, but it *needs* to happen and it needs to be genuine and intimate (as does your other interaction during the day). These walks need to be consistent for the first several days. I realize that this is the least convenient time in the world, but think of it this way : if you don't pay now, you just might pay later. Trust me, it's worth it. It goes without saying that this is a daddy job, not a mommy job. * In the long run, what you're looking for isn't unbridled love, exuberance, and loads of unabated enthusiasm from the dog. This would be an unrealistic expectation --- not to mention dangerous for the baby. Instead, you are looking for anything within the spectrum of indifference and concern for the baby's welfare. (The dog should be given the option of showing no particular attachment. That can be developed later). ************ One last word on "quality time". It wasn't until 8 or 9 days after my first baby's birth that I realized an odd thing. Whereas before the birth, I would never go by one of my dogs without making an intentional step in their direction and being lovey-dovey with them (even if just for a few seconds), I caught myself passing them as if they were invisible after the birth. I would step over them to get where I was going, or just walk around them. As insignificant as that may seem, I think it triggered a concern on their part that I was still willing to walk them, be with them, etc., but that my attention was no longer of a very high quality. Don't let this happen to you and your dogs! Your dog needs your time, but he's smart enough to know where your heart really lies. Think back on all the times when your dog has made you feel more complete, more assured about life, etc. The least you can do at this stage is to let the dog know that his quality of life will remain high and constant. And if that isn't enough motivation to do the right thing, get out a box of tissues and read this : http://www.crean.com/jimwillis/how-could-you.pdf It's all a lot of work, but the harmony and love that your baby and dogs will share makes the whole process pay for itself quickly. Hany Hosny August 2006 Note : This article may not be copied or used by others in print or digital form without prior authorization of the author (me). Simply email for permission to use. I almost always say yes, but if I see it used without my permission, I can be pretty toxic. Just do the right thing, okay? |
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