If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
Here's the deal. My niece wants my 4-year-old son to be the ring
bearer in her wedding this September. My son is already saying he's not going to do it. He's stubborn and also shy. I've tried to explain to him that it'll be easy ... he won't have to say anything, just walk down the aisle carrying a pillow, and that they'll practice the night before, etc. Another wrinkle is that he's very picky about what he wears. I haven't been able to get him in dressy clothes for over a year. So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. Thanx in advance. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
"pamela60" wrote in message om... So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. Tell your niece you're flattered, but you'll have to decline. I sympathize with you on the clothing issue. My ds is 3.5 and I haven't dressed him in about 3 months. There's *no way* I could get him in a tux at this point and it just isn't worth the struggle. -- JennP. mom to Matthew 10/11/00 EDD #2 10/24/04 remove "no........spam" to reply |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
"pamela60" wrote in message om... Here's the deal. My niece wants my 4-year-old son to be the ring bearer in her wedding this September. My son is already saying he's not going to do it. Personally, I think that you shouldn't force the issue. If he doesn't want to do it, he'll likely be miserable and make everyone else miserable. |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
Here's the deal. My niece wants my 4-year-old son to be the ring
bearer in her wedding this September. My son is already saying he's not going to do it. He's stubborn and also shy. I've tried to explain to him that it'll be easy ... he won't have to say anything, just walk down the aisle carrying a pillow, and that they'll practice the night before, etc. Another wrinkle is that he's very picky about what he wears. I haven't been able to get him in dressy clothes for over a year. So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. Thanx in advance. My first thought was - if he doesn't want to, don't make him. If it's that big of a deal, there's an episode of Little Bill where the teacher gets married and they make a huge deal out of being the ring bearer, how great it is. If you could find that and show it to him maybe. I still go with my first thought really. |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
In article , pamela60 says...
By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. That's what needs to be fixed. If he doesn't want to do it, don't push him to do it. Little boys aren't trained dogs. Politely decline the honor. Banty |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
"pamela60" wrote in message om... Here's the deal. My niece wants my 4-year-old son to be the ring bearer in her wedding this September. My son is already saying he's not going to do it. He's stubborn and also shy. I've tried to explain to him that it'll be easy ... he won't have to say anything, just walk down the aisle carrying a pillow, and that they'll practice the night before, etc. Another wrinkle is that he's very picky about what he wears. I haven't been able to get him in dressy clothes for over a year. So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. Thanx in advance. If it were me, I would explain the situation to the neice. I would gently explain how awful it would be for her to have a cranky 4yo ruin the beauty of *her* wedding by making a scene rather than bearing the ring. S |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
pamela60 wrote:
Here's the deal. My niece wants my 4-year-old son to be the ring bearer in her wedding this September. My son is already saying he's not going to do it. He's stubborn and also shy. I've tried to explain to him that it'll be easy ... he won't have to say anything, just walk down the aisle carrying a pillow, and that they'll practice the night before, etc. Another wrinkle is that he's very picky about what he wears. I haven't been able to get him in dressy clothes for over a year. So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. I'm sorry, but there's no need to cater to your niece in this matter. Brides tend to get carried away and lose perspective. It's your job as your son's mother to say to her, "I'm sorry, dear. I appreciate the honor, but DS just isn't ready for this." Believe me, if he doesn't want to do it now, odds are if he goes down the aisle at all, he'll go down it kicking and screaming-- and your niece will be the first one with a disappointed look on her face wondering how your son could "spoil" her wedding. (Nothing against your niece--I'm sure she's lovely--but being a bride can do strange things to a normally sane person's mind.) In my experience, four is *not* a very good age for a ringbearer. They tend to be resistant--even the ones who seemed compliant in advance. Your son is telling you he doesn't want to do it. I think you should honor that, and I think if you don't, you will likely regret it in the long term. Best wishes, Ericka |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
|
#9
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
pamela60 wrote:
So ... how do I (1) get him in the li'l tux, and (2) get him down the aisle? Any suggestions? By the way, I don't really care if my son is in this wedding, but my niece and her mom really have their hearts set on it. As others have said, you'll have to decline if he doesn't change his mind. My oldest was the ringbearer in his cousin's wedding last August (just after he turned 6yo) and he was a bit reluctant at first, but she was able to talk him into it. If he still hadn't wanted to do it, though, I wouldn't have forced him. And 6 is a *lot* older than 4. Frankly, I think this is a LOT to ask of a 4yo and if he doesn't want to do it, well, he doesn't want to and no amount of forcing the issue is going to make him want to. Sorry! -- Be well, Barbara Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6) Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy." Me (later)--"You should feel flattered." All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful. Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
4yo doesn't wanna be ringbearer
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|