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#1
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HELP...21 Month Old PULLING HAIR
All,
My angel of a daughter is pulling hair at her sitters. When I say pulling hair, I mean chunks of hair are being pulled out. Anyway, she's 21 months old, extremely affectionate, cuddly, and typically harmless. However, about 4 months ago, she started pulling hair, has recently got worse and she only pulls hair from playmates roughly her own age. The sitter is great, and tries to say "no" and "that hurts when you do that" and even has tried "time out". Nothing is working and it's hard for us, because our daughter only does it when she's at the sitters, so in turn hard for us to correct. Frankly, it's embarressing and can't hope but wonder if it's something we're doing (or not doing) that is causing this behavior. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Worried First Time DAD. |
#2
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HELP...21 Month Old PULLING HAIR
"Jasper" wrote in message oups.com... All, My angel of a daughter is pulling hair at her sitters. When I say pulling hair, I mean chunks of hair are being pulled out. Anyway, she's 21 months old, extremely affectionate, cuddly, and typically harmless. However, about 4 months ago, she started pulling hair, has recently got worse and she only pulls hair from playmates roughly her own age. The sitter is great, and tries to say "no" and "that hurts when you do that" and even has tried "time out". Nothing is working and it's hard for us, because our daughter only does it when she's at the sitters, so in turn hard for us to correct. Frankly, it's embarressing and can't hope but wonder if it's something we're doing (or not doing) that is causing this behavior. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't think it's anything you're doing. Children go through these stages. It sounds like her sitter is doing the right thing, and she will grow out of it. The only other thing I'd suggest is asking the sitter if it's any particular time. (like if someone's playing with a toy she wants). In which case it would be reasonable for the sitter to try and find a way of avoiding the situation. I'll also add that at that age both my children had hair that came out very easily, so she may not be pulling as hard as you think :-) If she's not doing it for you, then all you can really do is ask the sitter to keep you updated, and be consistant with her if she does it at home. Debbie |
#3
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HELP...21 Month Old PULLING HAIR
"Jasper" wrote in message oups.com... All, My angel of a daughter is pulling hair at her sitters. When I say pulling hair, I mean chunks of hair are being pulled out. Anyway, she's 21 months old, extremely affectionate, cuddly, and typically harmless. However, about 4 months ago, she started pulling hair, has recently got worse and she only pulls hair from playmates roughly her own age. The sitter is great, and tries to say "no" and "that hurts when you do that" and even has tried "time out". Nothing is working and it's hard for us, because our daughter only does it when she's at the sitters, so in turn hard for us to correct. Frankly, it's embarressing and can't hope but wonder if it's something we're doing (or not doing) that is causing this behavior. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Keep her away from the hair. Restrict her access to hair. If she is able to pull out "chunks" of hair, she isn't properly monitored. She should be redirected to an appropriate activity before she ever gets to someone elses hair. 21-month-olds don't care or understand about "no" or "that hurts". Yanking or pulling the hair of her peer, and getting the reaction from the hurt party and the teacher, is her reward. She should be prevented from doing it in the first place ( controlling her environment) . She should be praised and given lots of attention when she is behaviong nicely owards her peers. If she does succeed in pulling someone elses hair, she should be redirected, with a small neutral comment ("we don't hurt others here") . Her hair-pulling should not result in any emotional reaction to her, but the hurt party should get comfort . My basic message is to reduce the opportunity she has to misbehave, minimize the reaction she gets when she does misbehave, and praise her when she is behaving nicely. Thanks, Worried First Time DAD. |
#4
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HELP...21 Month Old PULLING HAIR
On 2 Jun 2006 12:37:57 -0700, "Jasper"
wrote: All, My angel of a daughter is pulling hair at her sitters. When I say pulling hair, I mean chunks of hair are being pulled out. Anyway, she's 21 months old, extremely affectionate, cuddly, and typically harmless. However, about 4 months ago, she started pulling hair, has recently got worse and she only pulls hair from playmates roughly her own age. The sitter is great, and tries to say "no" and "that hurts when you do that" and even has tried "time out". Nothing is working and it's hard for us, because our daughter only does it when she's at the sitters, so in turn hard for us to correct. Frankly, it's embarressing and can't hope but wonder if it's something we're doing (or not doing) that is causing this behavior. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Worried First Time DAD. You cannot address this at home if she does not do it at home. Please pass this on to your sitter. It is a phase, but it needs to be dealt with by shadowing your dd and not allowing it to happen. During the *learning period* you can't leave her unsupervised with anyone. Stay less than an arm's length away and be observant even if you are *doing something else* nearby.' Stop the hair pulling *before* she can actually do it. You won't get every one, perhaps, but you should be able to get most of them. If she does connect, attend to the victim before you do anything else. Comfort the victim. Catch her hand (before she pulls the hair or take her hand after you comfort the victim. Very calmly say *we touch people with gentle hands* and show her how to stroke her victim's head gently. Then put her down and go about your business as if nothing has happened. Do not pay attention to her for at least a few minutes longer. When she is playing nicely again, then go over and start playing with her. You can say *I saw you taking turns.* or *You just used gentle hands to touch. I like that* Do this every time she pulls hair. It usually takes a week or so, but kids get the idea. -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
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