daycare nightmare

Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

She has had this rash on and off for about 3mths and this has not cropped up
until she changed classrooms recently, she also attends 2 other drop in
daycares and this issue has not been raised.

We are understandably very cross about this, to make matters worse, when I
called the pediatrician, the receptionist very helpfully just put me through
to the nurses answer phone, so I could see there is a high chance we may not
even get this letter by the end of the day.

I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should give
as notice.

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a
letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though
it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

She has had this rash on and off for about 3mths and this has not cropped
up
until she changed classrooms recently, she also attends 2 other drop in
daycares and this issue has not been raised.

We are understandably very cross about this, to make matters worse, when I
called the pediatrician, the receptionist very helpfully just put me
through
to the nurses answer phone, so I could see there is a high chance we may
not
even get this letter by the end of the day.

I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my
instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should
give
as notice.

Anne

Take her to the ER for treatment. Yes, I know that the ER isn't the 'place'
but at this point covering your ass is the way to go.
Pull her from the school and never look back.
Good luck.
btw, my daughter had VERY bad diaper rash, nothing worked, she had huge
blisters and there was some blood. It was the worst diaper rash I had ever
seen.
I felt like a bad mother (even though I was taking her to a ped. derm. MD)
And trying every diaper under the sun.
As soon as she started using the potty (she started early, who wouldn't w/
all that painful rash?) no more diaper rash.

If you are angry over this and you feel their care is inadquite, then I
would provide the letter thats asked for as well as a letter of my concerns
and notice of leaving.
All the best
Fiona
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a
letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though
it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

She has had this rash on and off for about 3mths and this has not cropped
up
until she changed classrooms recently, she also attends 2 other drop in
daycares and this issue has not been raised.

We are understandably very cross about this, to make matters worse, when I
called the pediatrician, the receptionist very helpfully just put me
through
to the nurses answer phone, so I could see there is a high chance we may
not
even get this letter by the end of the day.

I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my
instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should
give
as notice.

Anne

On Mar 5, 12:59 pm, "Anne Rogers" wrote:
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

She has had this rash on and off for about 3mths and this has not cropped up
until she changed classrooms recently, she also attends 2 other drop in
daycares and this issue has not been raised.

We are understandably very cross about this, to make matters worse, when I
called the pediatrician, the receptionist very helpfully just put me through
to the nurses answer phone, so I could see there is a high chance we may not
even get this letter by the end of the day.

I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should give
as notice.

Anne

What a bunch of ding-dongs. Have they never seen a diaper rash before?
My little one had a terrible rash for a few days, it was all over her
bum, and was this deep deep purple color. It didn't seem to hurt her
though, so I put her brother's excema cream on it, and that seemed to
solve the problem. It was just dreadful looking though. If it was
abuse, there'd be marks other places on her body, and she wouldn't be
a happy baby.

Stasya

Anne Rogers wrote:
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

Sounds like you've just got an inexperienced yahoo
who isn't applying any sense to following the letter of the
law. If you were otherwise happy, I would do the following:

1) Contact the doctor and request the letter.
2) Immediately fax the doctor permission to speak to the
director regarding the specific issue of the diaper
rash.
3) Inform the daycare that you have requested the letter
from the doctor and that they are welcome to contact
the doctor if they feel that the letter isn't getting
to them quickly enough.

If you are not happy with the daycare, then perhaps you
wish to withdraw anyway. In isolation, I don't think this
is a hanging offense. Yes, it's idiotic, but they're also
going to cover their rumps if there's anything that they
think someone might interpret as troublesome...especially
if there's been a round of child protection training lately
pounding into their heads that they're mandatory reporters
and child abusers can easily be folks who seem quite nice.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
. ..
Anne Rogers wrote:
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a
letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash.
They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though
it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling
us
they are legally obliged to do this.

Sounds like you've just got an inexperienced yahoo
who isn't applying any sense to following the letter of the
law. If you were otherwise happy, I would do the following:

1) Contact the doctor and request the letter.
2) Immediately fax the doctor permission to speak to the
director regarding the specific issue of the diaper
rash.
3) Inform the daycare that you have requested the letter
from the doctor and that they are welcome to contact
the doctor if they feel that the letter isn't getting
to them quickly enough.

If you are not happy with the daycare, then perhaps you
wish to withdraw anyway. In isolation, I don't think this
is a hanging offense. Yes, it's idiotic, but they're also
going to cover their rumps if there's anything that they
think someone might interpret as troublesome...especially
if there's been a round of child protection training lately
pounding into their heads that they're mandatory reporters
and child abusers can easily be folks who seem quite nice.

In addition, if you withdraw the child immediately, it may be seen as a sign
that you have something to hide. Legally, they didn't have to let you know
they felt a need to file a report-and in fact, the general recommendation is
NOT to let parents know that you do so (not that it's not very obvious in
almost all cases where such a report is coming from).

I would absolutely follow the steps Erika has outlined. Except that I would
go a step further, and ask that your pediatrician CALL the center, if the
office is willing to do that. Mine has been very helpful in the past (in my
case, it had to do with an overzealous teacher who identified literally half
of the class, including my daughter, as being "possibly autistic"-getting my
pediatrician to contact the director with the results of my daughter's last
developmental check did much to allay that concern on both sides).

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a
letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though
it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

They are probably legally required to report *suspected* child abuse or
neglect. So if they think that a child *might* be being abuse or neglected,
they hagve to report it.

Also, take pictures of the nappy rash with your digital camera. If there is
an argument later, you will have proof that you can control of what happened
later.

Have you discussed this with the director of the center?

She has had this rash on and off for about 3mths and this has not cropped
up
until she changed classrooms recently, she also attends 2 other drop in
daycares and this issue has not been raised.

We are understandably very cross about this, to make matters worse, when I
called the pediatrician, the receptionist very helpfully just put me
through
to the nurses answer phone, so I could see there is a high chance we may
not
even get this letter by the end of the day.

I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my
instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should
give
as notice.

Sounds like a plan. It doesn't seem like the daycare is the appropriate
place for your daughter at the moment. The thought that the center or one of
its employees is trying to cover up something has crossed my mind, too.

The other thing to be aware of is that if they are threatening to report you
to child protective services, they may feel that you are covering up abuse,
and report you for this reason. I would suggest taking your daughter to the
doctor and having him/her look at the rash and confirm that it is just
fungal rash (nappy or diaper rash).

I would also contact a lawyer, tell him or her what is going on and see if
there is anything you can do to protect yourself. You should also have a
plan on what to do if someone from protective services calls or shows up at
your house. About 99% of the time, CPS is just doing their job. But they can
make mistakes, and those mistakes can be nasty. I really don't think
anything is going to come of this if CPS gets involved (they will probably
say: "This is just a nappy rash. You consulted with your doctor and it is
not a serious condition. Case closed. Don't waste our time with this
stuff.") But it is better safe than sorry.

Jeff

Anne

On Mar 5, 7:03 pm, Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Anne Rogers wrote:
Ada's daycare have called my husband and told him that they are going to
report her/us to child protection services if they haven't received a letter
from our doctor confirming that her nappy rash is just a nappy rash. They
are saying that as there is broken skin, it could be child abuse, though it
is very clearly a nappy rash and nothing more, there is no bruising the
broken skin is in blobs, like blisters, not scratches. They are telling us
they are legally obliged to do this.

Sounds like you've just got an inexperienced yahoo
who isn't applying any sense to following the letter of the
law. If you were otherwise happy, I would do the following:

1) Contact the doctor and request the letter.
2) Immediately fax the doctor permission to speak to the
director regarding the specific issue of the diaper
rash.
3) Inform the daycare that you have requested the letter
from the doctor and that they are welcome to contact
the doctor if they feel that the letter isn't getting
to them quickly enough.

If you are not happy with the daycare, then perhaps you
wish to withdraw anyway. In isolation, I don't think this
is a hanging offense. Yes, it's idiotic, but they're also
going to cover their rumps if there's anything that they
think someone might interpret as troublesome...especially
if there's been a round of child protection training lately
pounding into their heads that they're mandatory reporters
and child abusers can easily be folks who seem quite nice.

One thing to keep in mind is that they may not be suggesting that the
marks are from physical abuse, but, rather, that the diaper rash
itself is so extreme that it could be an indicator that she is being
neglected.

In addition to Ericka's sage advice, (i) follow up your oral request
to the pediatrician with a written (faxed) request; (ii) document,
document, document -- everything is in writing, and you keep a copy of
it all. Digitial photos of the rash, as others suggested, are a good
idea. I'd think about a letter to the DCP: *Thank you for your
recent call regarding Ada's diaper rash. We appreciate that you are
fnding its treatment as difficult as we are, and trust that you are
taking all precautions -- including changing her diaper frequently and
using the cream that we provided for that purpose. As you know, this
rash first appeared about 3 months ago, and notwithstanding treatment,
has continued off and on to date. At first, we treated it with X, as
a standard diaper rash. When the rash did not respond to that
treatment, we ... [contacted the doctor to ask for advice, tried
another cream, whatever you did -- make sure that you clearly indicate
that you've spoken to the doctor, and that s/he's clear that it's a
diaper rash]. If you have any further questions, please feel free to
contact us. You may also contact Ada's pediatrician, Dr. Y, at
[number] if you have any further questions."

Best of luck. I'm sure that CPS has better things to do than deal
with a bunch of yutzes about a stubborn diaper rash.

Barbara

The daycare can report you no matter what you do, or don't do, and the
more contact they have with her the more of a "case" they can build up
against you. Their demand, "note from her doctor or else", is
baloney. A doctor's note is not proof against abuse. And that their
demand was conveyed by phone, not by letter, is also suspicous.

Keep her away from them. Write off the cost of the last month's
fees; if you stiff them on the bill they may report you just to get
even.

Sorry you're having to deal with this.

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...
I am so angry right now, I do not see this as the daycare just being
cautious, I see it as a worry over attention to some things which probably
indicates lack of attention in other areas, we've been unhappy with things
since the class change anyway (we loved her previous class) and my
instinct
is to withdraw her immediately and to withold the months fees we should
give
as notice.

I certainly can see why you would be so angry (I would too!) But you may
not know that in the US, daycare providers (along with doctors, certified
teachers, and several other 'groups' of people) are what is called "mandated
reporters" which means that if there is any tiny suspicion of child abuse or
neglect they are legally obligated to report it to DCF/Child protective
services or whatever it is called in your state. If there is suspicion and
they do not report it, they can be held legally liable, lose their job, get
fined and/or be subject to jail time. So more than anything it is probably
a case of them just covering themselves.
A PITA for you, indeed, but a PITA for them too.