Moments that break your heart.....

unya (Purchgdss) wrote in message ...
Yesterday, being the holiday that it was in the US, we did the obligatory calls
to family and close friends.

Why obligatory? When I was growing up we kids hated having to talk to
grandparents and other relatives on holidays. We rarely saw them and
didn't know each other well, and it was awkward all around. Oddly
though, my grandfather and I exchanged letters from time to time on no
schedule at all. We even attempted a chess game at one point. Those
are nice memories but obligatory phone calls definitely aren't.

My son's birthday was a few weeks ago -- the second in a row where he
didn't hear from his father. But last night he and his brother decided
to call their father, and they talked about school and the birthday
party and what the dog happened to be doing at that moment. The phone
call was totally on their terms and nobody resented being obliged to
make nice.

They're a lot younger than your son so their father still has some
time, but your son, in my opinion, is justified in not wanting to call
them. He feels rejected and he IS rejected, so it's something of a
humiliation for him to have to call them. Perhaps he still should, as
kate and others have said, but maybe not on a holiday schedule.

lm

"Laura" wrote in message
om...
unya (Purchgdss) wrote in message
...
Yesterday, being the holiday that it was in the US, we did the obligatory
calls
to family and close friends.

Why obligatory?

Because it's up to us, as parent, to teach our children to honor their family
and close friends.

My dad was just diagnosed with cancer. When he suffered a series of minor
strokes 4 months ago, I called him daily, to see how he was. I never thought to
have my children call him. I thought I had done the right thing by calling.

My stepmother finally told me, the other day, that she was unhappy that I hadn't
had the children call their grandfather. I saw her point, and I now have the
children call each of their grandparents every 2-3 days, just to say "Hi" and "I
love you".

My dad was delighted to hear from the kids today. My mother and stepfather were
even more thrilled to have a phone call that wasn't a "Thank you" for a gift.

This is the right thing to be doing.

Teach your children to honor their grandparents. Some day, you'll be the
grandparent.

:-)

On Sat, 4 Dec 2004 14:36:17 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


"Laura" wrote in message
. com...
unya (Purchgdss) wrote in message
...
Yesterday, being the holiday that it was in the US, we did the obligatory
calls
to family and close friends.

Why obligatory?

Because it's up to us, as parent, to teach our children to honor their family
and close friends.

My dad was just diagnosed with cancer. When he suffered a series of minor
strokes 4 months ago, I called him daily, to see how he was. I never thought to
have my children call him. I thought I had done the right thing by calling.

My stepmother finally told me, the other day, that she was unhappy that I hadn't
had the children call their grandfather. I saw her point, and I now have the
children call each of their grandparents every 2-3 days, just to say "Hi" and "I
love you".

My dad was delighted to hear from the kids today. My mother and stepfather were
even more thrilled to have a phone call that wasn't a "Thank you" for a gift.

This is the right thing to be doing.

Teach your children to honor their grandparents. Some day, you'll be the
grandparent.

:-)

You snipped all my good stuff. "Why obligatory?" was about kids having
to call people who have rejected them on specific holidays, rather
than when they have something they want to say. You illustrated my
point in your response, which I can't help reading as a lesson for me
("teach your children to honor their grandparents.") that I don't need
taught.

lm

"lm" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 4 Dec 2004 14:36:17 -0600, "Moon Shyne"
wrote:


"Laura" wrote in message
. com...
unya (Purchgdss) wrote in message
...
Yesterday, being the holiday that it was in the US, we did the obligatory
calls
to family and close friends.

Why obligatory?

Because it's up to us, as parent, to teach our children to honor their family
and close friends.

My dad was just diagnosed with cancer. When he suffered a series of minor
strokes 4 months ago, I called him daily, to see how he was. I never thought
to
have my children call him. I thought I had done the right thing by calling.

My stepmother finally told me, the other day, that she was unhappy that I
hadn't
had the children call their grandfather. I saw her point, and I now have the
children call each of their grandparents every 2-3 days, just to say "Hi" and
"I
love you".

My dad was delighted to hear from the kids today. My mother and stepfather
were
even more thrilled to have a phone call that wasn't a "Thank you" for a gift.

This is the right thing to be doing.

Teach your children to honor their grandparents. Some day, you'll be the
grandparent.

:-)

You snipped all my good stuff. "Why obligatory?" was about kids having
to call people who have rejected them on specific holidays, rather
than when they have something they want to say. You illustrated my
point in your response, which I can't help reading as a lesson for me
("teach your children to honor their grandparents.") that I don't need
taught.

It was a lesson that I needed to learn.

It's a lesson that many need to learn.

If you don't think you need to learn it, or have already learned it, by all
means, ignore it.


lm