Uncontrolled Anger in 9 year old

Get a copy of The Explosive Child by Dr Ross Greene and see if the
descriptions in the beginning of the book match this child. If so, look on
http://www.explosivechild.com/ and see if you can find the appropriate
therapist for your area.

Good luck!

Marjorie

"Worried" wrote in message
...
Hi,

Background: 9 year old girl who has thrown tantrums and quick to explosive
anger
basically since birth. Blood-curdling screaming, door slamming,
punching/hitting
herself during the rages, completely out of control. Parents divorced when
she
was 6. Mother disappeared from her and her brother's life for 10 months
after
telling the girl's father she was filing for divorce. Mother has terrible
parenting skills now. Girl spends 1 night a week with Mother and a few
additional hours each week. The balance of time is spent with her father.

Girl is extremely well-behaved outside of the home. Never has any anger
issues
at school or other locations. Last year, her father married a woman (all
adults
are in their 40's) who has her own 9 year old daughter. The girls get
along
okay. The anger issue arises frequently for the 9 year old when they are
playing.

The girl has seen 3 different psychologists in the past year to no avail.
"Think
happy thoughts", etc were the advice given. She recently began seeing a
psychiatrist because father and stepmother believe there is a physical
cause for
the rages. Today, the psychiatrist determined she does not need meds
because her
behavior at school is fine.

Father and stepmother are at their wit's end. Discussing, reasoning,
punishing,
etc have been tried numerous times with no success.

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

Did the psychiatrist consider bipolar disorder?

"Worried" wrote in message
...
Hi,

Background: 9 year old girl who has thrown tantrums and quick to explosive
anger
basically since birth. Blood-curdling screaming, door slamming,
punching/hitting
herself during the rages, completely out of control. Parents divorced when
she
was 6. Mother disappeared from her and her brother's life for 10 months
after
telling the girl's father she was filing for divorce. Mother has terrible
parenting skills now. Girl spends 1 night a week with Mother and a few
additional hours each week. The balance of time is spent with her father.

Girl is extremely well-behaved outside of the home. Never has any anger
issues
at school or other locations. Last year, her father married a woman (all
adults
are in their 40's) who has her own 9 year old daughter. The girls get
along
okay. The anger issue arises frequently for the 9 year old when they are
playing.

The girl has seen 3 different psychologists in the past year to no avail.
"Think
happy thoughts", etc were the advice given. She recently began seeing a
psychiatrist because father and stepmother believe there is a physical
cause for
the rages. Today, the psychiatrist determined she does not need meds
because her
behavior at school is fine.

Father and stepmother are at their wit's end. Discussing, reasoning,
punishing,
etc have been tried numerous times with no success.

Any suggestions?

Thanks.

Background: 9 year old girl who has thrown tantrums and quick to
explosive anger basically since birth. Blood-curdling screaming, door
slamming, punching/hitting herself during the rages, completely out
of control. Parents divorced when she was 6. Mother disappeared from
her and her brother's life for 10 months after telling the girl's
father she was filing for divorce. Mother has terrible parenting
skills now. Girl spends 1 night a week with Mother and a few
additional hours each week. The balance of time is spent with her
father.

Girl is extremely well-behaved outside of the home. Never has any anger issues at school or other locations. Last year, her father married a woman (all adults are in their 40's) who has her own 9 year old daughter. The girls get along okay. The anger issue arises frequently for the 9 year old when they are playing.

Father and stepmother are at their wit's end. Discussing, reasoning, punishing, etc have been tried numerous times with no success.


I was a contributor to a book that might be helpful. It deals with
providing life skills such as self-control to children. What seems to
be missing in this situation is a lack of consistency and structure in
the child's life, in addition to teaching the child life skills that
she can internalize no matter what the situation. The title of the
book is Lesson One: The ABCs of Life. It's been recommended by Bill
Cosby among others.

Laura Root
Contributor, Lesson One: The ABCs of Life
http://www.lessonone.org

Worried wrote:

Hi,

Background: 9 year old girl who has thrown tantrums and quick to explosive anger
basically since birth.
-------------------------
Abused, neglected.


Blood-curdling screaming, door slamming, punching/hitting
herself during the rages, completely out of control.

Parents divorced when she
was 6. Mother disappeared from her and her brother's life for 10 months after
telling the girl's father she was filing for divorce.
----------------------
This is why, this was devastating to her, she should be treated
as crippled, and gotten extensive therapy.


Mother has terrible
parenting skills now. Girl spends 1 night a week with Mother and a few
additional hours each week. The balance of time is spent with her father.
-----------------------------
This confuses her. Mother is broken, daughter is frightened.


Girl is extremely well-behaved outside of the home. Never has any anger issues
at school or other locations. Last year, her father married a woman (all adults
are in their 40's) who has her own 9 year old daughter. The girls get along
okay. The anger issue arises frequently for the 9 year old when they are
playing.
-----------------------
She has learned to react that way, needs time alone, quality attention,
and therapy.
Steve

This message comes a little late, but it is really just to let you know
that you are not alone.

This sounds quite familiar to us, except for the personal history.
Although our daughter has grown up in a fairly stable family environment,
she has had an explosive and anxious temperament since she was a baby. She
has tantrums, she slams doors, she hits others (including her mother).
Much of the time, she is just plain unpleasant to be around, but at other
times, she can be happy and agreeable.

We have not talked to our doctor about it because we have been hoping that
she will grow out of it. (There is the danger that in pathologizing
behaviour, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.) Like your daughter, she
is well-behaved when outside of the home, which raises doubts that it is
an uncontrolled mental illness. Her behaviours have intensified recently,
however, and no strategy seems to work, so we are (finally) considering
consulting our doctor.

One more point: your daughter's mother would seem to be unstable, and so
it stands to reason that your daughter might share some of that (on top of
emotional baggage!). We always keep in mind that in our extended family,
there are some very difficult people...

Good luck.