training bras

I have a third-grade daughter. A classmate's mother is pushing me to
buy training bras for my daughter, which apparently her daughter
already wears. While it's true my daughter is starting to "bloom,"
she's still young and hasn't shown an interest herself. (I offered a
while back.) My daughter seems like such a kid to me, and I don't want
her teased...either for having one or *not* having one. How does a
parent know when a young girl needs her first bra?

Thanks.

beeswing

In article ,
(beeswing) wrote:

I have a third-grade daughter. A classmate's mother is pushing me to
buy training bras for my daughter, which apparently her daughter
already wears. While it's true my daughter is starting to "bloom,"
she's still young and hasn't shown an interest herself. (I offered a
while back.) My daughter seems like such a kid to me, and I don't want
her teased...either for having one or *not* having one. How does a
parent know when a young girl needs her first bra?

Thanks.

beeswing


I've never quite understood the "training bra" concept. Exactly who or
what is in training?

Oh well.

I didn't get bras for my daughters until they asked, or until they were
into at least an A cup and clearly would benefit from one. On the other
hand, both tended to prefer baggy clothes when they were at an age where
they were first likely to need them (not uncommon, by the way). In
third grade I don't think teasing about bras is becoming common yet; by
5th grade, it may be different, and certainly in middle school comments
about underwear and bust sizes are common.

If your daughter isn't interested, and her body doesn't need them, I see
no particular point to getting one. And why on EARTH would her
classmate's mother think it's any of her damned business whether or not
your daughter wears a training bra? I think that is the part of your
post that most got my attention!

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

dragonlady wrote in :

If your daughter isn't interested, and her body doesn't need them, I see
no particular point to getting one. And why on EARTH would her
classmate's mother think it's any of her damned business whether or not
your daughter wears a training bra? I think that is the part of your
post that most got my attention!

It may be nothing to do with Beeswing's daughter, more that the other mum
does not want her own daughter to be the only one wearing a training bra.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...

It may be nothing to do with Beeswing's daughter, more that the other
mum
does not want her own daughter to be the only one wearing a training
bra.

I half-wondered that myself.

beeswing

I've never quite understood the "training bra" concept. Exactly who or
what is in training?

Oh well.

Training wasn't really was was being called for here. It's just the only
term I know.

I saw "real" training bras for little kids while I was out today. Little
triangles with lace on them, a hook-and-eye back, totally flat things -- in my
opinion, the only purpose to them was to push little kids to grow up way too
fast. I found something downright distasteful about them.


I didn't get bras for my daughters until they asked, or until they were
into at least an A cup and clearly would benefit from one. On the other
hand, both tended to prefer baggy clothes when they were at an age where
they were first likely to need them (not uncommon, by the way). In
third grade I don't think teasing about bras is becoming common yet; by
5th grade, it may be different, and certainly in middle school comments
about underwear and bust sizes are common.

Teasing about bras? Having them? Or not having them and "needing" them (loosely
speaking)?

When I was in elementary school, I remember being bullied because my mom made
my clothes and had put *darts* in the top.

If your daughter isn't interested, and her body doesn't need them, I see
no particular point to getting one. And why on EARTH would her
classmate's mother think it's any of her damned business whether or not
your daughter wears a training bra? I think that is the part of your
post that most got my attention!

Oh, it was worse than that. I outlined the story in a later post.

Thanks for your input!

beeswing

beeswing wrote in :

[snip]
they were first likely to need them (not uncommon, by the way). In
third grade I don't think teasing about bras is becoming common yet; by
5th grade, it may be different, and certainly in middle school comments
about underwear and bust sizes are common.

Teasing about bras? Having them? Or not having them and "needing" them
(loosely speaking)?

Also there is teasing about not needing them yet, whether or not one wears
them.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

Penny Gaines wrote:

Also there is teasing about not needing them yet, whether or not one wears
them.

I realized that would be the case.

beeswing

DD, age 11.5, started complaining that certain shirts bothered her
when she was in 4th grade. Because we live in a warm climate,
undershirts in summer really weren't the best idea, so I got her a
couple of the cotton 'sports' bras. Not 'training bras', more like
exercise bras with t-backs. She wore those for a year or two, and then
she did need a bit more support, and moved to an actual bra. She's
small still, hasn't moved to a real cup size, but I can think of some
adults she's bigger than, so she probably could use a real bra about
now.

I waited until she showed interest, but she wasn't, by any means, the
first kid in her class. There was at least one girl I knew of in 3rd
grade, and several in 4th grade that were before her. These were all
girls who could be considered overweight. DD is *very* thin, so her
need was actual breast tissue, and not just chubbiness.

My feeling is, ask every once in a while, and if your daughter doesn't
show any interest, then don't push it.

And tell your friend to MYOB and stop pushing YOUR child to grow up.

Marjorie

Marjorie wrote:

My feeling is, ask every once in a while, and if your daughter doesn't
show any interest, then don't push it.

Thanks, that's what I thought.

And tell your friend to MYOB and stop pushing YOUR child to grow up.

This lady isn't a friend, she's a stranger to me -- that's the worst part of
it. But *YES,* definitely.

beeswing

beeswing wrote:
I have a third-grade daughter. A classmate's mother is pushing me to
buy training bras for my daughter, which apparently her daughter
already wears.

Sheesh.

To the classmate's mother, say this: "Thank you, but I will buy
it when either daughter or I think it's necessary"

Repeat as necessary.

Scott DD 10.5 and DS 8, rolling my eyes.