Runnin from Custodial Parent

On Sep 25, 12:25?am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

ups.com...





On Sep 24, 4:47 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 6:13?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm,
and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create
this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was
just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from
the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children. (I wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5 minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
McDonald's...what's wrong with working there?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Did the lein get you anything but someone on the run? No. I wasnt
being critical in your effort to get the CS owed you, but rather the
method.

Then again, $100 a month is pretty funny. He sounds like a real
successful wheeler-dealer. Donald Trump II evidently, buying and
selling, owning his own company.

I am also not arguing the morality. I believe it's the responsibility
of every parent to support children they helped create.- Hide quoted
text -

- Show quoted text -

He moved back to Virginia from Florida with his now ex-wife before the
lien...then they came back to Florida to quit-claim all properties to
his now ex-wife wife and try to keep his driver's license. Luckily for
me I knew the error of my ways and did not marry him. He does not owe
me the $100.00 a month, he owes his current ex-wife $100.00 a month
and she has to pay him $100.00 in alimony, so just a wash...as
stipulated in their very amicable divorce..she initiated the divorce
due to domestic violence, very fishy, all in all, I guess people do
forgive and forget their @ss, and her daughter were busted up, more
power to her. She is for sure a better person than I....he owes me
$300.00 a month which is in arrears of $30,000.00 right now. So he
lives and breathes behind his ex-wife's coat-tails...what did I really
expect...if he is willing to go through all this trouble, it really
makes it all the more worth it, I guess...I may not know much, but
Child Support never goes away, it is a debt he will have for the rest
of his life until he pays up or dies...so he can keep running and
hiding CSE is using "Gini's" tax dollars to find him, even though if
and when I receive anything, my "son's money is deducted to cover the
national deficit..Thanks for all your responses

I think the question many people here are trying to get you to think about
is: Is it worth it? Is it worth your time and effort to go after money you
might never receive? Is it worth the stress it seems to cause you? I'm
sure the money would come in handy--when does money NOT come in handy when
you are raising children? If your son's father wants to keep evading child
support, it seems that he will be able to do so--and it seems that you are
the one jumping through hoops and getting stressed out--not him. Is it
worth it?

As for your son deserving a father--of course he does. But that is not
something you have any control over. If the man does not see it as his duty
to parent his son, you can't force him to do so. Does that make it right?
No. But all kinds of things happen in this world that are not right, and
the people affected have to keep on living, and do the next thing that is
set before them. You can't make somebody accept your version of morality,
as frustrating as that may be.

Look at the big picture, and where things will be 10 years from now--will it
make a huge difference if you get the money, compared to if you don't? I'm
neither encouraging nor discouraging you from any particular course of
action. Good luck



- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly

On Sep 24, 6:07 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 7:04?pm, Very Determined! wrote:





On Sep 24, 4:50 pm, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 5:32?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29 am, "Gini" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote On Sep 21, 5:42 pm, "DB" wrote:

.................................

Are your finances so low that $100 is going to break you?

What planet are you from? Yes, why do I bother with this? $100.00 to
you might be nothing but to us it is determining whether we will eat,
pay for my meds, or make the rent???

==
First: The CS is not for your meds, it's for the child's needs only.
Second: You make a lousy choice in men to procreate with and now you want
*my* tax dollars
to fund your quest for that 100 bucks?

Ok, and what planet are you from?? Child Support is for the well being
of the child, as long as he has what he needs, food, shelter,
education to the best that I can provide it...that child support is
for whatever I deem necessary. So for example, if I go to the grocery
store and spend $100.00 in groceries for him and I, $50.00 for me,
$50.00 for the child, my part of the child's goceries is $25.00 and
the NCP's part is $25.00...I spent my medicine money on those
groceries, so look at it as reimbursement for my extra half. No one
asks for an accounting of child support money, why do you?

What extra half did you have? $50 was spent on you. And $50 was spent
on the child, of which $25.00 is your responsibility. So, it's
actually 1/4, not one half.

But, an invitation is open for you to do my taxes next year, as I
could use some creative accounting.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Actually $25.00 from $50.00 is half of the child's groceries,..and I
am not arguing that it is my responsiblity...why would I do your taxes
you seem to have the creativity under control.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Idiot. You used $100 as the starting number. Your extra 1/2 is $50 by
your math.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

ok, take out my $50.00, no use confusing everyone.....now there is
only $50.00.... for the child, $25.00 is my responsibility and $25.00
is NCP's....if I have not received his "child support," I have paid
the NCP's half of the groceries...yes, it must be nice to live in a
glass house...it must be hard being perfect

On Sep 25, 6:48 am, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 25, 12:25?am, "teachrmama" wrote:





"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...

On Sep 24, 4:47 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 6:13?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm,
and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create
this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was
just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from
the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children. (I wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5 minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
McDonald's...what's wrong with working there?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Did the lein get you anything but someone on the run? No. I wasnt
being critical in your effort to get the CS owed you, but rather the
method.

Then again, $100 a month is pretty funny. He sounds like a real
successful wheeler-dealer. Donald Trump II evidently, buying and
selling, owning his own company.

I am also not arguing the morality. I believe it's the responsibility
of every parent to support children they helped create.- Hide quoted
text -

- Show quoted text -

He moved back to Virginia from Florida with his now ex-wife before the
lien...then they came back to Florida to quit-claim all properties to
his now ex-wife wife and try to keep his driver's license. Luckily for
me I knew the error of my ways and did not marry him. He does not owe
me the $100.00 a month, he owes his current ex-wife $100.00 a month
and she has to pay him $100.00 in alimony, so just a wash...as
stipulated in their very amicable divorce..she initiated the divorce
due to domestic violence, very fishy, all in all, I guess people do
forgive and forget their @ss, and her daughter were busted up, more
power to her. She is for sure a better person than I....he owes me
$300.00 a month which is in arrears of $30,000.00 right now. So he
lives and breathes behind his ex-wife's coat-tails...what did I really
expect...if he is willing to go through all this trouble, it really
makes it all the more worth it, I guess...I may not know much, but
Child Support never goes away, it is a debt he will have for the rest
of his life until he pays up or dies...so he can keep running and
hiding CSE is using "Gini's" tax dollars to find him, even though if
and when I receive anything, my "son's money is deducted to cover the
national deficit..Thanks for all your responses

I think the question many people here are trying to get you to think about
is: Is it worth it? Is it worth your time and effort to go after money you
might never receive? Is it worth the stress it seems to cause you? I'm
sure the money would come in handy--when does money NOT come in handy when
you are raising children? If your son's father wants to keep evading child
support, it seems that he will be able to do so--and it seems that you are
the one jumping through hoops and getting stressed out--not him. Is it
worth it?

As for your son deserving a father--of course he does. But that is not
something you have any control over. If the man does not see it as his duty
to parent his son, you can't force him to do so. Does that make it right?
No. But all kinds of things happen in this world that are not right, and
the people affected have to keep on living, and do the next thing that is
set before them. You can't make somebody accept your version of morality,
as frustrating as that may be.

Look at the big picture, and where things will be 10 years from now--will it
make a huge difference if you get the money, compared to if you don't? I'm
neither encouraging nor discouraging you from any particular course of
action. Good luck

- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it?? He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him. I could not live with myself knowing where his
father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him? Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it. Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it
alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...I say give it all you
got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone. I can't spend
money I don't have to hunt him down, I am not a complete dummy...and
chasing him from the safety of my computer does not stress me as much
as idiots who criticize me for living with an illness that so many
others live with, and I have to survive on a daily regimen of meds and
I have to figure out where I am gonna come up with the money...that
stresses me out, because the money I put away for those meds went to
my son's groceries, and my overtime barely covered the power for half
of the month, but I know, "big deal," not your problem but everyone's
reason to judge and criticize me on what the heck am I doing?Its not
good enough, and its the wrong thing because it is not their way, or
their paren'ts way or their friends way, etc...about how wonderful
their families did it for them...this is how wonderful I do it for him
and I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many
others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....

"Very Determined!" wrote in

Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it?? He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him.

The only right your child has is to be housed and fed where you live, the
public trough will take care of the rest.

"Very Determined!" wrote
.........................
Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it??
==
You aren't fighting for your son's "rights." You are fighting to get
reimbursed for your expenditures.
==
He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him.
==
He has a right to basic sustenance.
==
I could not live with myself knowing where his
father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..
==
Well, perhaps the lien had something to do with that.
==
And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him?
==
Very noble sounding but actually, you're fighting to get reimbursed for your
expenditures.
==
Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it.
==
There you go again--This has nothing to do with the child's worth. All
children are invaluable.
You're fighting to get reimbursed. You think *you're* worth it.
==
Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it
alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...
==
Simple indeed. You want reimbursed.
==
I say give it all you
got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone.
..............................................
I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many
others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....
==
You haven't figured out the smart way--Quit fixating on the loser you
chose to procreate with and get on with your life.
==
I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....
==
Oh puleeze, many many, perhaps even most, custodial parents handle loser
NCPs with
dignity and character. Chosing not to do that is your option. I just prefer
not to
foot the bill for your poor choices.

On Sep 25, 9:25 am, Very Determined! wrote:
On Sep 25, 6:48 am, Relayer wrote:



On Sep 25, 12:25?am, "teachrmama" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...

On Sep 24, 4:47 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 6:13?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm,
and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create
this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was
just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from
the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children. (I wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5 minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
McDonald's...what's wrong with working there?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Did the lein get you anything but someone on the run? No. I wasnt
being critical in your effort to get the CS owed you, but rather the
method.

Then again, $100 a month is pretty funny. He sounds like a real
successful wheeler-dealer. Donald Trump II evidently, buying and
selling, owning his own company.

I am also not arguing the morality. I believe it's the responsibility
of every parent to support children they helped create.- Hide quoted
text -

- Show quoted text -

He moved back to Virginia from Florida with his now ex-wife before the
lien...then they came back to Florida to quit-claim all properties to
his now ex-wife wife and try to keep his driver's license. Luckily for
me I knew the error of my ways and did not marry him. He does not owe
me the $100.00 a month, he owes his current ex-wife $100.00 a month
and she has to pay him $100.00 in alimony, so just a wash...as
stipulated in their very amicable divorce..she initiated the divorce
due to domestic violence, very fishy, all in all, I guess people do
forgive and forget their @ss, and her daughter were busted up, more
power to her. She is for sure a better person than I....he owes me
$300.00 a month which is in arrears of $30,000.00 right now. So he
lives and breathes behind his ex-wife's coat-tails...what did I really
expect...if he is willing to go through all this trouble, it really
makes it all the more worth it, I guess...I may not know much, but
Child Support never goes away, it is a debt he will have for the rest
of his life until he pays up or dies...so he can keep running and
hiding CSE is using "Gini's" tax dollars to find him, even though if
and when I receive anything, my "son's money is deducted to cover the
national deficit..Thanks for all your responses

I think the question many people here are trying to get you to think about
is: Is it worth it? Is it worth your time and effort to go after money you
might never receive? Is it worth the stress it seems to cause you? I'm
sure the money would come in handy--when does money NOT come in handy when
you are raising children? If your son's father wants to keep evading child
support, it seems that he will be able to do so--and it seems that you are
the one jumping through hoops and getting stressed out--not him. Is it
worth it?

As for your son deserving a father--of course he does. But that is not
something you have any control over. If the man does not see it as his duty
to parent his son, you can't force him to do so. Does that make it right?
No. But all kinds of things happen in this world that are not right, and
the people affected have to keep on living, and do the next thing that is
set before them. You can't make somebody accept your version of morality,
as frustrating as that may be.

Look at the big picture, and where things will be 10 years from now--will it
make a huge difference if you get the money, compared to if you don't? I'm
neither encouraging nor discouraging you from any particular course of
action. Good luck

- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it?? He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him. I could not live with myself knowing where his
father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him? Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it. Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it
alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...I say give it all you
got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone. I can't spend
money I don't have to hunt him down, I am not a complete dummy...and
chasing him from the safety of my computer does not stress me as much
as idiots who criticize me for living with an illness that so many
others live with, and I have to survive on a daily regimen of meds and
I have to figure out where I am gonna come up with the money...that
stresses me out, because the money I put away for those meds went to
my son's groceries, and my overtime barely covered the power for half
of the month, but I know, "big deal," not your problem but everyone's
reason to judge and criticize me on what the heck am I doing?Its not
good enough, and its the wrong thing because it is not their way, or
their paren'ts way or their friends way, etc...about how wonderful
their families did it for them...this is how wonderful I do it for him
and I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many
others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....

Ma'am, from many NCPs perspectives, child support is ransom. You pay
it, you might get to see your kid. Some NCP's don't like the idea of
paying ransom, particularly if their child doesn' t live near them and
they don't get to see them much even after paying the ransom.

If you want him to support his child and give your child the benefits
of an involved father, then relocate, offer to let him raise the boy
half the time, and agree to eliminate all child support.

If he believes you're making the offer just to track him down and
entrap him so you can take his house and money, then he probably won't
be interested. Too bad you took it so far down that road with the
lien and all, but that's probably going to be his mindset at this
point. You've got the kid/hostage, so his choices are very limited.
My guess is he's waiting until the child is 18 years old so they can
establish a relationship that is enencumbered by you and the specter
of "child support."

Blame him all you want -- but I suspect your child's suffering is the
result of child support policy and your buying into the lie that it's
"for the children." Thousands (millions?) of children, including
mine, are similarly suffering.

Best of luck . To your son.

On Sep 25, 10:08 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote
........................ Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it??

==
You aren't fighting for your son's "rights." You are fighting to get
reimbursed for your expenditures.
==He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him.

==
He has a right to basic sustenance.
==
I could not live with myself knowing where his father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..

==
Well, perhaps the lien had something to do with that.
==And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him?

==
Very noble sounding but actually, you're fighting to get reimbursed for your
expenditures.
==Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it.

==
There you go again--This has nothing to do with the child's worth. All
children are invaluable.
You're fighting to get reimbursed. You think *you're* worth it.
==
Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...

==
Simple indeed. You want reimbursed.
==
I say give it all you got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone.

.............................................
I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....

==
You haven't figured out the smart way--Quit fixating on the loser you
chose to procreate with and get on with your life.
==I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....

==
Oh puleeze, many many, perhaps even most, custodial parents handle loser
NCPs with
dignity and character. Chosing not to do that is your option. I just prefer
not to
foot the bill for your poor choices.

Then ask for a refund, if your are not happy about where your tax
dollars are going contact the right department. I apologize, I do not
handle the division of tax dollars. I am sorry that you are soo
affected over the impact and toll my CSE case is taking over your
life, your wallet. Have them reimburse you for your inconvenience. I
will stop my work on the case, immediately and tell CSE to keep on
doing nothing because you are tired of paying for it all. If I were
you, I would call them and have them send me the bill immediately. Yes
many and most handle their NCP's in their own way, but I am not many
and I am not most, and according to your very admired opinion, my
choice. Dignity and character as whose definition? Because your
opinion of my dignity and character makes me who I am and where I am
going, it might affect my entrance into law school next fall, as well
as any professional movement upward I might decide to take. I
appreciate your candor and accusations of what I want, and who I am;
and yes I want reimbursement,.... I don't think it has been ever said
any better. I can't figure out when I stopped getting on with my life?
Let me know, because I haven't figured it out? I thought I could have
stopped getting on with my life maybe after the cancer diagnosis, or
the thyroidectomy, maybe after radiation, or after final exams, maybe
I will stop getting on with my life after graduation, maybe after the
LSAT's???hmm...I don't know, I am really at a loss...FYI, I wanted to
clarify when that lien was placed in Nov of 06, last year, he was
running 13 1/2 years before that, as well, but I understand my wrong
doing, me placing that lien was a definite green light to avoid all
responsibility to his child, yes keep running because its all my
fault...and completely devalues his crime..I am glad there are people
in this world like you who always have the right "opinion" of things
because if there weren't I guess there wouldn't be anybody to keep me
in line...Thank you for your support

wrote
..................................
Ma'am, from many NCPs perspectives, child support is ransom. You pay
it, you might get to see your kid. Some NCP's don't like the idea of
paying ransom, particularly if their child doesn' t live near them and
they don't get to see them much even after paying the ransom.
.......................................

Blame him all you want -- but I suspect your child's suffering is the
result of child support policy and your buying into the lie that it's
"for the children." Thousands (millions?) of children, including
mine, are similarly suffering.

Best of luck . To your son.
==
I can't help thinking that any parent who willingly turns control of
their children over to the government (court) with or without the hope of
profiting from same, deserves the consequences.
Tragically, their kids don't deserve it and they are the ones most hurt by
this
"for the kids" ruse. Look at all the catch phrases she used: "I believe in
his future,"
"fighting for your child's rights," "child's worth," (that one was a real
stretch as if, if she
doesn't get reimbursed, the child has less value), "fight..for what legally
belongs to him" (when she is well aware that it legally belongs to her), "I
do it for him," "suffer to support him."
Then she plasters the man's name all over the internet as a deadbeat, puts a
lien on his house and then
asserts that she'd really rather he had a relationship with his son and
pretends it's all for the boy. Well, the boy will
soon be old enough to get online and do a little research into what his
mom's been doing with her time. Perhaps, he'll even
forgive her, someday.

On Sep 25, 10:49 am, wrote:
On Sep 25, 9:25 am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 25, 6:48 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 25, 12:25?am, "teachrmama" wrote:

"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...

On Sep 24, 4:47 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 6:13?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm,
and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create
this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was
just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from
the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children. (I wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5 minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
McDonald's...what's wrong with working there?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Did the lein get you anything but someone on the run? No. I wasnt
being critical in your effort to get the CS owed you, but rather the
method.

Then again, $100 a month is pretty funny. He sounds like a real
successful wheeler-dealer. Donald Trump II evidently, buying and
selling, owning his own company.

I am also not arguing the morality. I believe it's the responsibility
of every parent to support children they helped create.- Hide quoted
text -

- Show quoted text -

He moved back to Virginia from Florida with his now ex-wife before the
lien...then they came back to Florida to quit-claim all properties to
his now ex-wife wife and try to keep his driver's license. Luckily for
me I knew the error of my ways and did not marry him. He does not owe
me the $100.00 a month, he owes his current ex-wife $100.00 a month
and she has to pay him $100.00 in alimony, so just a wash...as
stipulated in their very amicable divorce..she initiated the divorce
due to domestic violence, very fishy, all in all, I guess people do
forgive and forget their @ss, and her daughter were busted up, more
power to her. She is for sure a better person than I....he owes me
$300.00 a month which is in arrears of $30,000.00 right now. So he
lives and breathes behind his ex-wife's coat-tails...what did I really
expect...if he is willing to go through all this trouble, it really
makes it all the more worth it, I guess...I may not know much, but
Child Support never goes away, it is a debt he will have for the rest
of his life until he pays up or dies...so he can keep running and
hiding CSE is using "Gini's" tax dollars to find him, even though if
and when I receive anything, my "son's money is deducted to cover the
national deficit..Thanks for all your responses

I think the question many people here are trying to get you to think about
is: Is it worth it? Is it worth your time and effort to go after money you
might never receive? Is it worth the stress it seems to cause you? I'm
sure the money would come in handy--when does money NOT come in handy when
you are raising children? If your son's father wants to keep evading child
support, it seems that he will be able to do so--and it seems that you are
the one jumping through hoops and getting stressed out--not him. Is it
worth it?

As for your son deserving a father--of course he does. But that is not
something you have any control over. If the man does not see it as his duty
to parent his son, you can't force him to do so. Does that make it right?
No. But all kinds of things happen in this world that are not right, and
the people affected have to keep on living, and do the next thing that is
set before them. You can't make somebody accept your version of morality,
as frustrating as that may be.

Look at the big picture, and where things will be 10 years from now--will it
make a huge difference if you get the money, compared to if you don't? I'm
neither encouraging nor discouraging you from any particular course of
action. Good luck

- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Exactly- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it?? He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him. I could not live with myself knowing where his
father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him? Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it. Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it
alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...I say give it all you
got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone. I can't spend
money I don't have to hunt him down, I am not a complete dummy...and
chasing him from the safety of my computer does not stress me as much
as idiots who criticize me for living with an illness that so many
others live with, and I have to survive on a daily regimen of meds and
I have to figure out where I am gonna come up with the money...that
stresses me out, because the money I put away for those meds went to
my son's groceries, and my overtime barely covered the power for half
of the month, but I know, "big deal," not your problem but everyone's
reason to judge and criticize me on what the heck am I doing?Its not
good enough, and its the wrong thing because it is not their way, or
their paren'ts way or their friends way, etc...about how wonderful
their families did it for them...this is how wonderful I do it for him
and I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many
others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....

Ma'am, from many NCPs perspectives, child support is ransom. You pay
it, you might get to see your kid. Some NCP's don't like the idea of
paying ransom, particularly if their child doesn' t live near them and
they don't get to see them much even after paying the ransom.

If you want him to support his child and give your child the benefits
of an involved father, then relocate, offer to let him raise the boy
half the time, and agree to eliminate all child support.

If he believes you're making the offer just to track him down and
entrap him so you can take his house and money, then he probably won't
be interested. Too bad you took it so far down that road with the
lien and all, but that's probably going to be his mindset at this
point. You've got the kid/hostage, so his choices are very limited.
My guess is he's waiting until the child is 18 years old so they can
establish a relationship that is enencumbered by you and the specter
of "child support."

Blame him all you want -- but I suspect your child's suffering is the
result of child support policy and your buying into the lie that it's
"for the children." Thousands (millions?) of children, including
mine, are similarly suffering.

Best of luck . To your son.

I understand your situation...as I was there myself, with a parent who
held me for ransom, and I learned why... but with that said I feel my
child deserves both his parents. I have lived in the same place for 14
years, I have had the same phone number. He disappeared before the
child was born, and came back 15 months later...because I was
determined to give my child both his parents I suffered at the wrath
of his hands for 7 months. I smartened up and left, my son did not
deserve that! The NCP disappeared, again I looked for him knowing all
the good and bad, it was easy for me to be angry, but why? I was
hoping he disappeared because he was getting his life together and
when he was ready he would come around, he never did. I refuse to
demean my son by badmouthing his father, why would I do that, because
others do??Sorry again I just don't fit that sterotype. I searched a
long time to find him 10 yrs later in a prison for domestic
violence...he says it was his wife at the time, but I know better.
Still I confronted him about his role in son's life and promised he
would try..he did for about 1 year, calling, emailing, writing, at
the same time he divorced and married again, seemed like he changed
his life around...and still never came around to his child. It was
nice he wasn't close for what I know he is, but I never denied him
access, but then again what kind of parent would I be knowing what he
is capable of? Just never the right thing, is it??He's always had
opportunity. Don't use the CP as an escape goat, and child support has
nothing to do with vistation...you don't pay to see your kid, the kid
has to eat whether the "dad" sees him or not, and still if he truly
wanted to be a apart of his child's life, he would be, as so many
others do, fighting for what they know is right. I do feel for the
children that suffer. My child suffers because his bilogical father
chooses not to be around. he does not lack a father. i know what it
feels like to have that piece missing. I love my step-father with all
I have, but it was nice to know another side of myself.

On Sep 25, 11:22 am, "Gini" wrote:
wrote
................................. Ma'am, from many NCPs perspectives, child support is ransom. You pay
it, you might get to see your kid. Some NCP's don't like the idea of
paying ransom, particularly if their child doesn' t live near them and
they don't get to see them much even after paying the ransom.

......................................

Blame him all you want -- but I suspect your child's suffering is the
result of child support policy and your buying into the lie that it's
"for the children." Thousands (millions?) of children, including
mine, are similarly suffering.

Best of luck . To your son.

==
I can't help thinking that any parent who willingly turns control of
their children over to the government (court) with or without the hope of
profiting from same, deserves the consequences.
Tragically, their kids don't deserve it and they are the ones most hurt by
this
"for the kids" ruse. Look at all the catch phrases she used: "I believe in
his future,"
"fighting for your child's rights," "child's worth," (that one was a real
stretch as if, if she
doesn't get reimbursed, the child has less value), "fight..for what legally
belongs to him" (when she is well aware that it legally belongs to her), "I
do it for him," "suffer to support him."
Then she plasters the man's name all over the internet as a deadbeat, puts a
lien on his house and then
asserts that she'd really rather he had a relationship with his son and
pretends it's all for the boy. Well, the boy will
soon be old enough to get online and do a little research into what his
mom's been doing with her time. Perhaps, he'll even
forgive her, someday.

OMG, you caught on to my scam...thanks for your insightful opinion.
Foiled again? My conscience had the best of me with this little scheme
I had going on. I was pretending...( I am rubbing my hands together in
an evil attempt to fool you, again) The boy is old enough to get on-
line and I hope he gets paid for the web sites he soo proudly created
to find the deadbeat...Now that I have been caught I just don't know
what I will do with all this extra time on my hands...maybe now a
scheme to full the world?How do I fool the all knowing?any
suggestions?