Runnin from Custodial Parent

"Very Determined!" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
wrote
................................. Ma'am, from many NCPs perspectives,
child support is ransom. You pay
it, you might get to see your kid. Some NCP's don't like the idea of
paying ransom, particularly if their child doesn' t live near them and
they don't get to see them much even after paying the ransom.

......................................

Blame him all you want -- but I suspect your child's suffering is the
result of child support policy and your buying into the lie that it's
"for the children." Thousands (millions?) of children, including
mine, are similarly suffering.

Best of luck . To your son.

==
I can't help thinking that any parent who willingly turns control of
their children over to the government (court) with or without the hope of
profiting from same, deserves the consequences.
Tragically, their kids don't deserve it and they are the ones most hurt
by
this
"for the kids" ruse. Look at all the catch phrases she used: "I believe
in
his future,"
"fighting for your child's rights," "child's worth," (that one was a real
stretch as if, if she
doesn't get reimbursed, the child has less value), "fight..for what
legally
belongs to him" (when she is well aware that it legally belongs to her),
"I
do it for him," "suffer to support him."
Then she plasters the man's name all over the internet as a deadbeat,
puts a
lien on his house and then
asserts that she'd really rather he had a relationship with his son and
pretends it's all for the boy. Well, the boy will
soon be old enough to get online and do a little research into what his
mom's been doing with her time. Perhaps, he'll even
forgive her, someday.

OMG, you caught on to my scam...thanks for your insightful opinion.
Foiled again? My conscience had the best of me with this little scheme
I had going on. I was pretending...( I am rubbing my hands together in
an evil attempt to fool you, again) The boy is old enough to get on-
line and I hope he gets paid for the web sites he soo proudly created
to find the deadbeat...Now that I have been caught I just don't know
what I will do with all this extra time on my hands...maybe now a
scheme to full the world?How do I fool the all knowing?any
suggestions?
==
Nah. You are clearly in over your head.

"Very Determined!" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...

On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in

working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!

My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout
from
anyone, so what's your problem?

Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase!

Key phrase, but FALSE phrase. It was YOU, and you ALONE (by your SOLE
choice) who created your child. Your phrase is like saying because I
handed
you a packet of yeast, "we" created a loaf of bread..........







He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their
joworked
full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your b,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am?

Because it was YOU, not him who made the sole choice to bear your child.
It
is ILLEGAL for him to make such choice. (see above)

#3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.

Responsible for "inactions". Don't you just LOVE it! What the heck is
THAT
supposed to mean?



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Key phrase, but FALSE phrase. It was YOU, and you ALONE (by your SOLE
choice) who created your child. Your phrase is like saying because I
handed
you a packet of yeast, "we" created a loaf of bread..........

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm, and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

Because of your SOLE choice. No dissapointment at all. It is illegal for him
to force you into parenthood. So, unless he or someone else committed such
crime, the only option left is that you became a parent SOLELY by your own
choice.


Responsible for "inactions". Don't you just LOVE it! What the heck is
THAT
supposed to mean?

It means that after searching high and low for the NCP for 10 years,
and finding him in prison for domestic violence, ("my duty as the CP,"
right?) that he was told once again where his child lives,( in the
same place for 14 years) and his child's phone number (the same for 14
years) that he needed to be a part of his child's life...because the
child at least deserved that. He decided to do nothing, not call him,
write him, wish him happy birthday...nothing! So inaction means
absence of action, and that is how I have applied it here.

"Responsibility" is tied to action by every facet of the definition. It is
impossible to be responsible for that which does not exist (inaction).

I think you
are much more angry than I am.

When it comes to people getting ripped off, I'm sure I am.

I don't understand your defense of this
scumbag

That's because you lack a fundamental understanding of the concept of
responsibilities being inherently bundled with RIGHTS.

except that I have what I have needed to do, and will keep
doing it. He needs to let his step-father adopt him and let him have
the real father he deserves.

"Very Determined!" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Sep 24, 11:29 am, "Gini" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote On Sep 21, 5:42 pm, "DB" wrote:

.................................

Are your finances so low that $100 is going to break you?

What planet are you from? Yes, why do I bother with this? $100.00 to
you might be nothing but to us it is determining whether we will eat,
pay for my meds, or make the rent???

==
First: The CS is not for your meds, it's for the child's needs only.
Second: You make a lousy choice in men to procreate with and now you
want
*my* tax dollars
to fund your quest for that 100 bucks?

Ok, and what planet are you from?? Child Support is for the well being
of the child, as long as he has what he needs, food, shelter,
education to the best that I can provide it...that child support is
for whatever I deem necessary.

Including booze, dope, and gifts for live-in boyfriends.........

So for example, if I go to the grocery
store and spend $100.00 in groceries for him and I, $50.00 for me,
$50.00 for the child, my part of the child's goceries is $25.00 and
the NCP's part is $25.00...I spent my medicine money on those
groceries, so look at it as reimbursement for my extra half. No one
asks for an accounting of child support money, why do you?

"Very Determined!" wrote in message
ps.com...
On Sep 25, 6:48 am, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 25, 12:25?am, "teachrmama" wrote:





"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...

On Sep 24, 4:47 pm, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 6:13?pm, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:

On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined!
wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the
sperm,
and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to
create
this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does
any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out
of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which
is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away
was
just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt
will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to
work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime
from
the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I
wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed,
damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated
to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to
his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his
contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children. (I
wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5
minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
McDonald's...what's wrong with working there?- Hide quoted text -

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Did the lein get you anything but someone on the run? No. I wasnt
being critical in your effort to get the CS owed you, but rather the
method.

Then again, $100 a month is pretty funny. He sounds like a real
successful wheeler-dealer. Donald Trump II evidently, buying and
selling, owning his own company.

I am also not arguing the morality. I believe it's the
responsibility
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He moved back to Virginia from Florida with his now ex-wife before
the
lien...then they came back to Florida to quit-claim all properties to
his now ex-wife wife and try to keep his driver's license. Luckily
for
me I knew the error of my ways and did not marry him. He does not owe
me the $100.00 a month, he owes his current ex-wife $100.00 a month
and she has to pay him $100.00 in alimony, so just a wash...as
stipulated in their very amicable divorce..she initiated the divorce
due to domestic violence, very fishy, all in all, I guess people do
forgive and forget their @ss, and her daughter were busted up, more
power to her. She is for sure a better person than I....he owes me
$300.00 a month which is in arrears of $30,000.00 right now. So he
lives and breathes behind his ex-wife's coat-tails...what did I
really
expect...if he is willing to go through all this trouble, it really
makes it all the more worth it, I guess...I may not know much, but
Child Support never goes away, it is a debt he will have for the rest
of his life until he pays up or dies...so he can keep running and
hiding CSE is using "Gini's" tax dollars to find him, even though if
and when I receive anything, my "son's money is deducted to cover the
national deficit..Thanks for all your responses

I think the question many people here are trying to get you to think
about
is: Is it worth it? Is it worth your time and effort to go after
money you
might never receive? Is it worth the stress it seems to cause you?
I'm
sure the money would come in handy--when does money NOT come in handy
when
you are raising children? If your son's father wants to keep evading
child
support, it seems that he will be able to do so--and it seems that you
are
the one jumping through hoops and getting stressed out--not him. Is it
worth it?

As for your son deserving a father--of course he does. But that is not
something you have any control over. If the man does not see it as his
duty
to parent his son, you can't force him to do so. Does that make it
right?
No. But all kinds of things happen in this world that are not right,
and
the people affected have to keep on living, and do the next thing that
is
set before them. You can't make somebody accept your version of
morality,
as frustrating as that may be.

Look at the big picture, and where things will be 10 years from
now--will it
make a huge difference if you get the money, compared to if you don't?
I'm
neither encouraging nor discouraging you from any particular course of
action. Good luck

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Ok, maybe I am an idiot...but when is fighting for your child's rights
not worth it?? He has a right to be taken care of to the best that I
can provide for him. I could not live with myself knowing where his
father is, and knowing what he has, and yet has never chosen to take
any part of his child's life..and Yes, I have written, called,
emailed, texted to let the NCP know his child is in the same spot for
the last 14 years and would appreciate him being apart of his
life..And how could I not fight for what legally belongs to him? Oh,
what a revelation...it isn''t worth it and way to much trouble, my son
is always worth it. Especially that I am not one to sit and leave it
alone...If I fail, I fail..but I will know I gave it everything I
had...just my opinion...I feel for all the mothers and fathers who do
not have a voice, or choose not to use their voice and hurt because
the NCP will not do there share, everyone has their reasons why they
do what they do, but mine are simple...I say give it all you
got...child support never goes away, eventually the consequences will
come to fruition??No? The least he could do is allow my husband to
adopt him or just be a part of his life. Your right I can't make him
be a father if he doesn't want to be, and really why should I
according to a few of the responses above, I created and chose to bear
him on my own, He is my responsibility and mine alone. I can't spend
money I don't have to hunt him down, I am not a complete dummy...and
chasing him from the safety of my computer does not stress me as much
as idiots who criticize me for living with an illness that so many
others live with, and I have to survive on a daily regimen of meds and
I have to figure out where I am gonna come up with the money...that
stresses me out, because the money I put away for those meds went to
my son's groceries, and my overtime barely covered the power for half
of the month, but I know, "big deal," not your problem but everyone's
reason to judge and criticize me on what the heck am I doing?Its not
good enough, and its the wrong thing because it is not their way, or
their paren'ts way or their friends way, etc...about how wonderful
their families did it for them...this is how wonderful I do it for him
and I understand your opinions on the situation, just like soo many
others who feel it easier to leave well enough alone...Maybe I just
haven't figured out the easy way....I have completely put this NCP
everywhere, on the internet, local newspapers, posters, paper trail
all the way to the attorney general, and on sooooo many post sites,
right, wrong, or otherwise I am just a little thrown back by all the
negative judgment and distaste for my actions and not the NCP's, it
must be hard to be all knowing of my situation and and negatively
critical...I appreciate all your input...I have seen the light, lets
devalue the NCP's crime! which by the way, it is! ...and I should get
another job to support what I and I alone created...I should suffer to
support him, like so many others do, and reap the consequences of "my"
actions, get another job, to coincide with the one I already have in
addition to continuing on with my education because I and I alone
believe in his future....

Not negative judgements--you're not reading it right. There is only so much
energy each person has--and how to spend that energy is a very important
decision. If spending your energy chasing down a man who has successfully
eluded you for 14 years is worth your energy, then, by all means, go for it.
But I, myself, would hate to look back and see missed opportunities with my
children because I was so busy pursuing what is "rightfully theirs."
Especially is what is "rightfully theirs" was never attained. No, child
support never goes away--but if, 40 years from now, he dies penniless, all
you will have is a worthless piece of paper saying that he owes you.

I'm sorry about the position you are in right now. It must be overwhenling
at times. And I do understand why you are attemptimg to get the money that
the courts have ordered him to pay. He sounds like quite a scumball, from
the way you have described him. Have you ever thought about filing to have
his parental rights terminated, since he never sees his child and does not
pay support? Then your husband could adopt him--and if the boy's bio dad
objects, he will have to explaing why to the judge--and why he has not been
paying CS.

To everything I have read above, I think it is quite Brazen and Rude
to be so judgmental in a negative way toward her wanting to get the
child support that was COURT ORDERED to her. This man IS a DEADBEAT
and she has Every Right to use Whatever Resource she can to try and
seek the help of the public to find him. If more people would do this,
it would make it tougher on deadbeats to hide their money. There would
be less tax dollars being spent on Many Things if these DEADBEATS were
located and forced to pay their Court Ordered JUDGEMENT.

This man has an obligation to fulfill.... and it doesnt matter how
long it takes for him to pay off his Court Ordered Obligation, he
should be forced to do so... and if he ends up arrested and given a
work release to do so... that would be the best case scenario. He
should show his child RESPECT by doing so willingly. What he owes is
not actually near what it takes to raise a child. Get off your soapbox
about what she wants for herself. She is entitled to that money or
their wouldnt be a court order. It is money to raise the child. I'm
sure she will continue to provide things for that child after moving
out of the home... with money still coming in from arrears.

I fully support her efforts in what she is doing. And when her child
sees what she has done (as that person tried to make it sound the
child would be ashamed or angry and the mother would need
forgiveness... give me a break !! Geez !!), the child will know how
much effort she has put into taking up for BOTH their rights.

I have my deadbeat plastered all over. I showed my teen children and
asked their opinion before I did it. I had my ex ARRESTED with my
poster in one day. After he was bonded out by his cash employer, I am
taking pics of him working on jobsites to give to the judge when we go
back to court. I will do anything I can to make the public aware that
they can help many children and the custodial parents by getting
active in taking pics and sending them in when they know someone is
working for cash and hiding it. It benefits everyone (tax dollars) by
Taking a Stand against this ignorant behavior that deadbeats have.

My children SEE how their father hides his money... and there is
several incomes in his home, which none of my children have ever lived
in with his "new family". I dont have enough time to write about all
that fraudulent crap. My children are hurt by their fathers excuses he
gives every time he sees them... and even though he doesnt pay, I dont
stand in the way whenever they want to see each other. I keep their
channels open between them. I dont let his ignorance of not paying be
a reason they cant see each other... he does a good enough job of that
by being in the same town and seldom making contact... my kids usually
have to go hunt him down.

Deadbeats are Deadbeats in many ways. You cant change their habits,
but you can make them see they are WRONG. You can help the system make
it harder on them to hide by being active in supporting Custodial
Parents and the children involved.

You people that judge and put her down, Shame on You. She is doing
what she has to do. YOU PEOPLE need to be active in turning in people
when you know its going on... whoever and wherever it is. Turning a
blind eye doesnt make the problem go away for the child and custodial
parent. Making snide comments does no good. Until you walk in our
shoes, dont throw stones. If you have money owed to you and you dont
do anything, that is not in the best interest of you and your child.
Child Support Enforcement and police can only do so much.... there
isnt enough Tax Money for them to do all the Work WE Have To Do to
help push this hard enough to Find The Offender.

I dont have the time to debate with those of you making catty, snide
comments about our Responsibility to see this through. I will check in
here and there. We do what we have to do... and we do it with PRIDE in
hopes of making a difference in our children's lives... and YES... our
lives too. Those DeadBeats have a responsibility to US and some day
laws will be stronger, and your tax dollars wont be as affected
because we Took A Stand in making a difference.

And Maybe... just maybe... Everyones Children wont have to go through
as much as we do when they have children of their own because We Cared
To Put Ourselves On The Line To Be Chastised By People Who Dont
Understand Our Mission.

On Sep 25, 12:19?am, "Chris" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...





On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm, and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children.

Newsflash: Men don't make children.


Yes they do.

wrote in

This man IS a DEADBEAT and she has Every Right to use Whatever Resource
she can to try and
seek the help of the public to find him.

Why is it the public's problem to solve a woman's own personal problem?

On Sep 24, 2:29 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote On Sep 21, 5:42 pm, "DB" wrote:

.................................

Are your finances so low that $100 is going to break you?

What planet are you from? Yes, why do I bother with this? $100.00 to
you might be nothing but to us it is determining whether we will eat,
pay for my meds, or make the rent???

==
First: The CS is not for your meds, it's for the child's needs only.
Second: You make a lousy choice in men to procreate with and now you want
*my* tax dollars
to fund your quest for that 100 bucks?

This guy must be a non-custodial parent that owes child support, in
the middle of a child support case, or just an idiot. Here is why you
are an idiot, and also why you shouldn't be allowed to procreate:
"Because in the USA you, and you alone, had the sole right to bear
and
keep, abort, adopt, or "safe haven" (legally abandon) your child.
The
biological father had none of those choices. With rights come
responsibilities. If you want to even out the responsibilities, how
about relocating and offering him 50/50 custody, and agree to
terminate all financial child support? Or do you believe that a
divorced/separated father is not being "responsible" if he's not
paying the mother a monthly stipend? A lot of people think that way,
sadly."

The truth is that a woman doesn't create life on her own, and it is
the "live sperm" that creates life in the womb, and I am sure not even
someone as stupid as you can argue with that fact.
The fact that it was that deadbeat Dave's choice to bust a nut all up
in there, knowing full well that that's how babies are made. You're
saying that he should NOT take responsibility because the woman didn't
want to have an abortion or give the baby away.
Why should she have an abortion and ruin her body internally, possibly
causing scaring that could have prevented her from having anymore
children, because this guy wants to F**k but not wrap it up? Why
should she relocate to him? He shouldn't left in the first place. When
he did have access to his child, but didn't bother to help support him
then, and is still not supporting the child! Where do you get off
telling her 50/50 custody, and drop child support? He owes his child
that money, he owed the mother of his child that money, and if his
b**ch-made, baby-making a** would have been taking care of his
responsibilities we wouldn't have anything to comment about! Has he
taken 50/50 responsibility in all of the child's life? Has he taken
50/50 responsibility financially? Was he sharing 50/50 when he had a
pocket full of money and the child had nothing? How about when she
was pregnant, did he share 50/50 of the morning sickness? He hasn't
even taken 5% of the anything concerning the child, and you probably
the same type of person! I do believe that a divorced/separated parent
is not being responsible when he doesn't have a relationship with his
child, and when he doesn't pay child support. When there is no
relationship, financial obligations aren't just forgotten about. Maybe
your father raised you to think that men have some right to COMPLETELY
ABANDON the children THEY HELP CREATE, but not me. We are Americans,
and in America MEN AND WOMEN are held accountable for their children.
If he were not in the wrong, he wouldn't be hiding from his child.
If you're so concerned with your tax dollars, write to your local
legislator and request that the child support avoidance be criminal
instead a civil matter? Do something usefull with your time, and
stupidity!

On Sep 26, 1:09 am, "Chris" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...





On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

roups.com...

On Sep 18, 3:37 pm, "DB" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in

working...like I told him before McDonald's is always hiring...his
child still has to eat and live whether he has a job or not!

My father raised 3 kids on one blue collar salary with no handout
from
anyone, so what's your problem?

Your dad should be commended! But my circumstances are not yours or
your dads.FYI, I am not looking for a handout, for ten years I left
him alone, figured he would do the right thing. When he could, (which
he can), I figured he would help support his child, we created
together. "His child,we created together" key phrase!

Key phrase, but FALSE phrase. It was YOU, and you ALONE (by your SOLE
choice) who created your child. Your phrase is like saying because I
handed
you a packet of yeast, "we" created a loaf of bread..........

He never did,
and willfully unemployed himself as well as fled from state to state
to avoid his obligations and responsibilities to his child. My current
husband worked two jobs, killing himself, and I are ready for the
violin...with removal of my thyroid other glands failed to their
joworked
full time too
so that we could eat, live, and my child could be well educated today,
not ten, fifteen, twenty years ago (the cost of living is much
different now). And we did what we had to do, because life wasn't fair
my child should not have to suffer, and we did whatever we had to do
to make sure he has what TWO parents should give him. I was diagnosed
with thyroid cancer, so with that I had to undergo a radical
thyroidectomy, and radiation. Let me know when your b,
and so on...so I am on meds the rest of my life, and hope to find out
if I am cancer free soon. With my health issues my husband had to
leave his second job, to help run the household and take care of me,
therefore financially we hurt because HE takes care of all his
children including two others from a previous marriage. So legally my
husband is obligated to care for them first before we even eat! Health
wise I shouldn't be working the hours I do, but I know my obligations
and responsibilities, and even continue my education where I graduate
in May with my bachelors in Criminal Justice,YEAH!!! and if my health
allows hopefully to law school in September of 08. Anyway, #1. My
husband is not my son's father and he is not legally obligated to care
for him. #2. Why is the bilogical father any less responsible than I
am?

Because it was YOU, not him who made the sole choice to bear your child.
It
is ILLEGAL for him to make such choice. (see above)

#3. Why am I looking for a handout when everyone is doing their
job, but the absent bilogical father? #4. How is my son going to feel
when I tell him, I knew where your father was I just didn't care
enough to fight for you, because I don't want to bother with it?
Because we dont' need? We might not need it today...but my child
might, when he needs a new pair of size 15 shoes, and I cannot buy
them because I have to buy my medicine or pay for my doctor's visit.
My child might need the money when he needs new school supplies and I
have to be in the hospital. My child might need it when he is hungry
at school and I need gas in my car. I am sorry your dad had to do it
by himself, or chose to, but why do I have a problem if I am willing
to get up and fight for what is legally obligated to my son?!? He
deserves that, at the very least...We all have choices about our
lives, I choose to not be a martyr and make sure the biological father
is held responsible for his actions or inactions.

Responsible for "inactions". Don't you just LOVE it! What the heck is
THAT
supposed to mean?

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Key phrase, but FALSE phrase. It was YOU, and you ALONE (by your SOLE
choice) who created your child. Your phrase is like saying because I
handed
you a packet of yeast, "we" created a loaf of bread..........

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm, and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

Because of your SOLE choice. No dissapointment at all. It is illegal for him
to force you into parenthood. So, unless he or someone else committed such
crime, the only option left is that you became a parent SOLELY by your own
choice.



Responsible for "inactions". Don't you just LOVE it! What the heck is
THAT
supposed to mean?

It means that after searching high and low for the NCP for 10 years,
and finding him in prison for domestic violence, ("my duty as the CP,"
right?) that he was told once again where his child lives,( in the
same place for 14 years) and his child's phone number (the same for 14
years) that he needed to be a part of his child's life...because the
child at least deserved that. He decided to do nothing, not call him,
write him, wish him happy birthday...nothing! So inaction means
absence of action, and that is how I have applied it here.

"Responsibility" is tied to action by every facet of the definition. It is
impossible to be responsible for that which does not exist (inaction).

I think you
are much more angry than I am.

When it comes to people getting ripped off, I'm sure I am.

I don't understand your defense of this
scumbag

That's because you lack a fundamental understanding of the concept of
responsibilities being inherently bundled with RIGHTS.



except that I have what I have needed to do, and will keep
doing it. He needs to let his step-father adopt him and let him have
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Idiot-she said she left it alone for 10 years-not that she has been
trying to collct for 10 years. Point is, nobody forced him to spill
his seed to make a child, and there is a court order for support, he
needs to pay it. She didn't ask simple minded people to come down on
her, she asked for advice on how to collect her child support. You do
seem to have a lot of things deadbeat, non-custodial parents like to
hear, so go to one of thier blogs and sgree with them. I'm sure you'll
make many friends there!

On Sep 25, 1:19 am, "Chris" wrote:
"Very Determined!" wrote in message

oups.com...





On Sep 24, 10:13 am, Relayer wrote:
On Sep 24, 11:29?am, Very Determined! wrote:

On Sep 21, 11:02 am, "Chris" wrote:

Sorry to disappoint you on this one...I did not supply the sperm, and
inject it. So "we created this child." He and I chose to create this
child, and I chose to nurture and bear him. Ok, and why does any of
that matter now..the child is here,living and breathing?

There are some men on this forum that advocate men getting out of CS
because they dont have a say in the child even being born, which is a
totally asinine arguement.

Anyway, the father owes you..yes..you can hunt him down..yes.but
putting a lean on his house and threatening to take that away was just
as asinine. He's a deadbeat, granted, but doing what you didnt will
just encourage him to further hide assets. And telling him to work
McDonalds isnt all that smart either.

It's pretty much a lost cause here. You will never see a dime from the
idiot. Move on. The $100 a month is not worth the aggravation.

Ok, putting a lien on a sprawling ranch was assanine, what was I
thinking...to legally obtain what belonged to my son, I guess I wasn't
thinking rationally. I wonder why creditors do that? Oh, probably
because they want to make sure they get paid what they are owed, damn
I'm dumb. The NCP does deserve to be left alone...poor guy, nice
house, nice cars, vacations...and the son he is legally obligated to
take care of?? He has every right, to live without consequences to his
actions, there are more important things to take care, his contracting
business, buying more properties and making more children.

Newsflash: Men don't make children.



(I wonder
what happened to the morality of having a child,and taking care of
it?) Yes, very stupid on my part. I wonder if I can have my 5 minutes
of fame with an immacualte conception...hmmm. And Iike I
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Newsflash: Only men have the live organisim that creates the child.
The woman carries the egg, which is not alive, and it will be purged
from the body if not fertilized by sperm. So, in fact, men DO make
children, because they produce the sperm that causes the splitting of
the single cell to create the embryo that later becomes a fetus, then
a human being.