Inappropriate Teacher's Dress

"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 14:29:37 -0400, "bizby40"
wrote:
I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want our
DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a violent
t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming through the
eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be afraid that the images
would be upsetting to my child. How about profanity? I'd be
upset by that as well, even if my child was too young to read
it or know what it meant. What if they worked in a bikini? Or
if they were male and generally worked without a shirt? That's
fine for the pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school
environment. Heck -- what if they were nudists?

Yeah. Of course you can stretch it beyond comprehension to think we'd
include all manner of dress.
/rolls eyes

Of course I was listing extremes that most people might object
to to make the point that the way they dress matters to most
people to one extent or another.

However, I was addressing her issue with showing a belly, or wearing a
mini skirt. That's a pretty far cry from violent images or a nudist,
doncha think?

There is a continuum from nudity to full artic gear. Everyone draws
the line at what is acceptable at a different place. The OP felt
these girls were dressed too revealingly. You'd draw the line
at a different place. Fine. But when you said (of your own DCPs)
"they're great with all the kids, and that is what I feel is important,
not how they're dressed." I took that as a rather insulting
statement. As if the OP should be ashamed to have focused on
something as frivolous as dress. I contend that if your DCPs
crossed *your* personal line of what is appropriate, whatever
that might be, that you would then feel that the matter of dress
was more important.

Bizby

"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 14:29:37 -0400, "bizby40"
wrote:


"Nan" wrote in message
.. .
On 17 Jun 2005 19:43:46 -0700, "Mary"
wrote:
Yep. At my dd's preschool the "Stay and Play" gals all dressed this
way. They're not "teachers", but they are the daycare workers.
It never occurred to me to be bothered by it, as they're great with
all the kids, and that is what I feel is important, not how they're
dressed.

I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want our
DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a violent
t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming through the
eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be afraid that the images
would be upsetting to my child. How about profanity? I'd be
upset by that as well, even if my child was too young to read
it or know what it meant. What if they worked in a bikini? Or
if they were male and generally worked without a shirt? That's
fine for the pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school
environment. Heck -- what if they were nudists?

Yeah. Of course you can stretch it beyond comprehension to think we'd
include all manner of dress.
/rolls eyes

However, I was addressing her issue with showing a belly, or wearing a
mini skirt. That's a pretty far cry from violent images or a nudist,
doncha think?

The OP seems upset with the sexual nature of the dress of
the Day Care workers. Sure she could change day cares.
But if she's been happy with it otherwise, don't you think
it's appropriate for her to address the situation with the
owner? I do. If the owner refuses to do anything about
it, then the OP needs to decide whether or not it's something
worth switching over.

Yup, and she did address it and let it drop. Apparently the owner
isn't bothered as much as she is, or changes would have already been
made, and she wouldn't need to vent about it here. She would do what
she needs to, to feel more comfortable.

And for whoever said that it's too much to expect the college
girls to purchase a professional wardrobe for a summer job
-- I think "professional" in this case really only means modest.
A few t-shirts that cover their bellies and so forth.

It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!

So, are you insecure? I wouldn't be bothered by my husband looking at
the gals at our school.

She made one joking comment about her husband, and everyone
jumps all over it! She never said that bothered her, nor that she
had any trust issues or other problems with her husband.

She's obviously bothered by the way they dress as being too sexual.
Mentioning her husband just adds fuel to that fire.


Hmmm...in revisiting htis thread, I reinstate my vote of "troll"- one of
those with vaguely titillating questions that occur from time to time in
parenting newsgroups. The only responses the OP answered were the ones where
I poked at her.

On Sat, 18 Jun 2005 18:38:34 GMT, Nan wrote:

However, I was addressing her issue with showing a belly,
or wearing a mini skirt. That's a pretty far cry from violent
images or a nudist, doncha think?

Yes, it is. OTOH, a miniskirt would be pretty hard to work on
the floor in, imo. And, given the pressure on little girls to be
sexual at an early age, I don't think it is a good idea for their
role models to be dressing this way for *playing* with them.
It's hard enough to get kids to dress appropriately nowadays
without adding teachers who dress in provocative ways at
their preschools.

I've never worked in a daycare or preschool were this kind of
dress was allowed. Teachers and aides where encouraged
to wear comfortable clothing that they could get down on the
floor in and run and play on the playground in, but that was
*reasonably* professional in fit and cut.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

"bizby40" wrote in message news:q-
Thank you Ericka -- I was feeling a bit alone. :-)

Don't feel alone, I agree with your post and Ericka's post. There is a
certain degree of modesty I expect of those people caring for my children
and I would be uncomfortable if my personal line was crossed.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Mary" wrote in message
oups.com...
Have any of you faced a teacher, preschool or otherwise that
dressed
inappropriately? Recently, I experienced a situation with
"teachers"
(they were actually college students doing a summer intern-job)
that
wore low ride, cotton, white, mini skirts, with no slips (do
people
still wear slips?). One has a tongue stud. Both wore shirts with
their
belly buttons exposed.
It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I
did
say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the
school!

The piercings and tatooing I personally think are fine, as long as
they aren't oozing or anything. I think you should say something
to the owner, if if it is a relative. After all, they are not
doing the interns any favors by allowing them to dress
innapropriately now, when chances are, they will be expected to
dress appropriately for most regular jobs. Even as a student
teacher, I was expected to dress appropriately for school. I
couldn't afford anything expensive, but I made do. Teachers are
role models and should not be dressing for school like they are
going out to a niteclub. Of course, that's JMNSHO!!!

-kim

dragonlady wrote:

I have to admit that if that WAS one of my daughters' considerations,
they probably would not have shared that information with me. However,
I HAVE talked to others about why they did that (as well as some others;
nipple piercings, in particular) -- and it seems to generally be just a
fashion statement.

Sometimes, it has clearly been done to annoy a parent -- but most often,
just because.


Sure, the person might get it just because. But, apparently, there are
people out there that don't interpret it that way.

I never equated a tongue stud with oral sex until I heard several of my
male friends remark that that's what it was for. So I would just be
worried that my DD didn't realize that. Even if you do simply find it
fashionable, I do feel it is something to consider. It's kinda like
picking out a tee shirt written in Kanji just because it looks cool,
and you don't realize that it's a curse word or something foul because
you can't read the characters.

Incidentally, we did see a lot of that in Japan: young preteen women
wearing tee shirts and purses with English written all over it. We saw
one young girl (no older than 10) carrying a purse that said "SLut!
Whore!" and a bunch of other non-repeatable things all over it. Surely
she had no idea what it said, and neither did her parents!!!

jen

In .com,
Mary wrote:

*wore low ride, cotton, white, mini skirts, with no slips (do people
*still wear slips?). One has a tongue stud. Both wore shirts with their
*belly buttons exposed.
* It is a delicate situation in that I am related to the owner. I did
*say something to the owner, but then let the subject die.
* I can say that husband is eager to drive my daughters to the school!
* In a previous preschool, the teachers had tattoos, but they covered
*them up. I have a tattoo as well, but if I was in a professional
*situation, I would cover it up.

really? You'd cover up a tattoo? I wonder why. I don't have one, but I
can't see covering one up if I did! I also don't see what the issue with
the tongue stud is.

Those issues aside, it does seem to me that low-riding miniskirts and
midriff-baring shirts are inappropriate attire for a schoolteacher. I'd
ask the principal or other chief administrator if there were some kind of
employee dress code, I guess.

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

In .com,
Mary wrote:

*Belly button shirts, and tongue studs are unprofessional, and
*inappropriate. The tongue studs can interfere with annunciation, and
*these teachers need to role model proper speech patterns.

Why are tongue studs unprofessional? Off the top of my head I can think of
three professionals I know who have tongue studs, including one very
wonderful pediatrician.

Regarding interference with annunciation, well, as a Jew, I'm not really
so familiar with the topic but I am hard pressed to understand how it
could interfere

If you mean enunciation, well, only if you have a bad piercing, I think.
It doesn't seem to be a problem for the folks I know with them.

*post in a body art newsgroup. The subject matter is not controversial.

But you seem to think it should be!

--
Hillary Israeli, VMD
Lafayette Hill/PA/USA/Earth
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is
too dark to read." --Groucho Marx

bizby40 wrote:
"Nan" wrote in message
...

On 17 Jun 2005 19:43:46 -0700, "Mary"
wrote:
Yep. At my dd's preschool the "Stay and Play" gals all dressed this
way. They're not "teachers", but they are the daycare workers.
It never occurred to me to be bothered by it, as they're great with
all the kids, and that is what I feel is important, not how they're
dressed.


I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want our
DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a violent
t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming through the
eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be afraid that the images
would be upsetting to my child. How about profanity? I'd be
upset by that as well, even if my child was too young to read
it or know what it meant.

This is what I call "borrowing trouble". I haven't seen it and, I'm not
going to let a hypothetical situation bother me.

What if they worked in a bikini?

Is it water play day? Again at DD's old daycare, on waterplay days some
daycare workers wore bathing suits, maybe one or two wore bikinis. To
be honest, I didn't notice. Some moms stayed and changed into
swimsuits. Again maybe one or two wore bikinis.

Or
if they were male and generally worked without a shirt?


That's
fine for the pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school
environment. Heck -- what if they were nudists?


Uhmmm...have you HEARD of nude daycare ??? What's up with these WAY OUT
extreme hypotheticals?

The OP seems upset with the sexual nature of the dress of
the Day Care workers. Sure she could change day cares.
But if she's been happy with it otherwise, don't you think
it's appropriate for her to address the situation with the
owner? I do. If the owner refuses to do anything about
it, then the OP needs to decide whether or not it's something
worth switching over.


No. If she's happy with the care of her children, the appearance of the
workers is just that - their appearance. I don't pretend I have that
much control over other people, relative or not.

I suggested switching daycares because that seemed to me a reasonable
solution. If I'm unhappy with the workers for whatever reason (and
inappropriate dress is a valid reason) I don't think an individual
customer should be able to force a dress code. But as an individual
customer I can take my business elsewhere.

"bizby40" wrote in
:


"Nan" wrote in message
...
On 17 Jun 2005 19:43:46 -0700, "Mary"
wrote:
Yep. At my dd's preschool the "Stay and Play" gals all
dressed this way. They're not "teachers", but they are
the daycare workers. It never occurred to me to be
bothered by it, as they're great with all the kids, and
that is what I feel is important, not how they're dressed.

I think most of us would have a line that we wouldn't want
our DCPs to cross. Would you object to someone with a
violent t-shirt, or one of those shirts with snakes coming
through the eye sockets of a skull? I would -- I'd be
afraid that the images would be upsetting to my child. How
about profanity? I'd be upset by that as well, even if my
child was too young to read it or know what it meant. What
if they worked in a bikini? Or if they were male and
generally worked without a shirt? That's fine for the
pool, but doesn't seem right for a pre-school environment.
Heck -- what if they were nudists?


so, you want all your daycare providers/teachers dressed like
this?
http://www.plainlydressed.com/

get a grip. no one is advocating *any* of your histronic
scenarios. i just don't see why the dress of these college
students is an issue, unless it actually interferes with thier
job performance.

The OP seems upset with the sexual nature of the dress of
the Day Care workers. Sure she could change day cares.
But if she's been happy with it otherwise, don't you think
it's appropriate for her to address the situation with the
owner? I do. If the owner refuses to do anything about
it, then the OP needs to decide whether or not it's
something worth switching over.

they're collrge students wearing what kids thier age wear. of
course, mini-skirt is totally subjective... is it mini (mid-
upper thigh) or mini! (thier butt is showing)?

And for whoever said that it's too much to expect the
college girls to purchase a professional wardrobe for a
summer job -- I think "professional" in this case really
only means modest. A few t-shirts that cover their bellies
and so forth.

why? are bellies that taboo in society currently?
most summer jobs, especially in childcare, are minimum wage.
yes, in that situation i *do* think it's too much to expect
they should buy special clothes for work. when i was working
summers, it was because i needed that money for next semester,
not to buy clothes. YMMV, i suppose.
lee
--
war is peace
freedom is slavery
ignorance is strength
1984-George Orwell