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#1
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Worried Parent
My son just recently started daycare last week, every morning when I get him dress he starts crying because he knows he's going to daycare, when I take him inside the teacher has to hold him while I walk out. This is my first and only child, he's going on 3yrs old in Nov. his dad has been watching him while I go to work for almost a year now, before that he was going to the babysitter's house. I know this is new for him and its going to take him a while to adjust but now his behavior at home has change, and I don't know if this is normal or not, but now I can't even go into the next room without him crying or following me, he cries hysterical like if something bad happen to him. Its like he thinks i'm going to leave him forever, but i'm only going into the next room or so. Also I don't know if it has to do with his dad leaving, his dad recently moved out but was only staying with us for only a year, could it be he thinks i'm going to leave him as well, he does see his dad about 3 times a week. I'm just worried about him crying everytime I just walk away from him to go to the other room. I do try to talk to him but my child does not talk very much, he just says a few words but does not put them together, thats one of the main reasons why I wanted to put him into daycare so he could interact with other children and pick up on talking. I need some advice please help
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#2
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Worried Parent
Hi Yvonne, This is very natural behaviour of a child when you leave them for the first time to the daycare or pre-school. They feel little insecure that if their parents will come back to pick them up or not because when a child comes to this world he only knows his parents and he can only be comfortable with them. It happened same to me when I dropped my 3-year old first time to the preschool. I requested the teachers to let me stay with her for two days and that time my daughter was holding my hand like she's never gonna leave me. But third day, I dropped her in her class and was in next room and went to pick her up in around 2-hours. She realized that Mom will come. Then the fourth day I left her for 3-hours. Then she was fine. Just cried little bit for five minutes and then was busy in playing. Now she is 4-years and is enjoying her preschool like anything. Also they need some time to get comfortable with the teachers and other kids too. Hope things will get better soon for you also. Candy. |
#3
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Worried Parent
Hi Yvonne, This is very natural behaviour of a child when you leave them for the first time to the daycare or pre-school. They feel little insecure that if their parents will come back to pick them up or not because when a child comes to this world he only knows his parents and he can only be comfortable with them. It happened same to me when I dropped my 3-year old first time to the preschool. I requested the teachers to let me stay with her for two days and that time my daughter was holding my hand like she's never gonna leave me. But third day, I dropped her in her class and was in next room and went to pick her up in around 2-hours. She realized that Mom will come. Then the fourth day I left her for 3-hours. Then she was fine. Just cried little bit for five minutes and then was busy in playing. Now she is 4-years and is enjoying her preschool like anything. Also they need some time to get comfortable with the teachers and other kids too. Hope things will get better soon for you also. Candy. |
#4
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Worried Parent
On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 18:44:35 +0100, yvonne
wrote: My son just recently started daycare last week, every morning when I get him dress he starts crying because he knows he's going to daycare, when I take him inside the teacher has to hold him while I walk out. This is my first and only child, he's going on 3yrs old in Nov. his dad has been watching him while I go to work for almost a year now, before that he was going to the babysitter's house. I know this is new for him and its going to take him a while to adjust but now his behavior at home has change, and I don't know if this is normal or not, but now I can't even go into the next room without him crying or following me, he cries hysterical like if something bad happen to him. It's normal for children starting daycare to have separation anxiety because they are in a new place and really we don't explain much to them, we just tend to take them and drop them off. Its like he thinks i'm going to leave him forever, but i'm only going into the next room or so. Play games where you go out and peek around the corner with him. It will take some time, but this will help. Also I don't know if it has to do with his dad leaving, his dad recently moved out but was only staying with us for only a year, could it be he thinks i'm going to leave him as well, he does see his dad about 3 times a week. This is probably part of the problem. You need to talk to him about dad leaving and the fact that you are not going to leave. You may want to use some books about divorce (even if you were not married since this is still a divorce to your child). Some possibilities he http://www.maginationpress.com/bbytopic.html#divorce In particular I like: Was It the Chocolate Pudding? A Story for Little Kids About Divorce By Sandra Levins (this may be too old for him though) Some others not listed at magination press: Dinosaur's Divorce by Marc Brown It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: Osread-Together Book for Parents & Young Children During Divorce Mpt by Vicki Lansky Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman I'm just worried about him crying everytime I just walk away from him to go to the other room. I do try to talk to him but my child does not talk very much, he just says a few words but does not put them together, thats one of the main reasons why I wanted to put him into daycare so he could interact with other children and pick up on talking. I need some advice please help Children understand much more than they can say. You may want to try teaching him some sign language. There are some good videos for this called Signing Time (if you let him watch dvds and videos). I also recommend the Baby Bumble Bee vocabulary videos for children who need help with talking. And if he is not putting words together, I would suggest an evaluation by a speech therapist since most children do that at 2 and delayed speech may need to be addressed. (The daycare may assess this for you, btw. Many daycares will refer children to speech therapy and some have STs on staff who will work with children). For the separation anxiety itself, you may want to read The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn with him. It's a good book and has a ritual you can use for separating from him at daycare. You may also want to give him a picture of you that he can keep in his cubby at daycare and look at when he is thinking about you. A *lovey* can help too especially at naptime. You may also want to make a picture schedule of his day at daycare and talk to him about the sequence of things and how mommy always comes back *after nap* or after whatever the last activity of the day is. If you can get actual pictures of the activities from his teachers, you can use these (I always took digital pictures of the kids doing activities in my preschool classes and used them to sequence the day. If you can't get actual pictures, you may be able to find clipart online or pictures in magazines that will show what they do. Good luck! -- Dorothy There is no sound, no cry in all the world that can be heard unless someone listens .. The Outer Limits |
#5
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Worried Parent
I have two daughters who both went to day care and they both did this. Children that age have seperation anxiety. I remember they both cried for about a week almost two and then it gradualy lessened and then to no problem dropping them off. I remember thinking, why aren't they crying anymore, don't they miss me?!! It was so double sided for me, I felt neede when they cried and then when they were fine with leaving me, I was a little upset!! It will be fine and it will get better!! |
#6
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Worried Parent
In article ,
yvonne wrote: My son just recently started daycare last week, every morning when I get him dress he starts crying because he knows he's going to daycare, when I take him inside the teacher has to hold him while I walk out. This is my first and only child, he's going on 3yrs old in Nov. This is normal. Your day care should have given you some advice on how to leave your child. First, find them something to do or a carer with an activity, then say that you are going and will be back at [whatever time you collect him]. Say goodbye (and "Enjoy yourself!"), kiss him, and leave. The carer should comfort him if he's upset, and involve him in an activity. Make the way you leave a kind of ritual -- same every day -- and he will eventually understand. now his behavior at home has change, and I don't know if this is normal or not, but now I can't even go into the next room without him crying or following me, he cries hysterical like if something bad happen to him. Its like he thinks i'm going to leave him forever, but i'm only going into the next room or so. You haven't been sneaking out of the day care, have you? Also I don't know if it has to do with his dad leaving, his dad recently moved out but was only staying with us for only a year, could it be he thinks i'm going to leave him as well, he does see his dad about 3 times a week. I'm just worried about him crying everytime I just walk away from him to go to the other room. I am sure this would have a bit to do with it, and so would starting day care. Continue to tell him what you are doing, and reassure him that you aren't going to leave, and he will come good. I do try to talk to him but my child does not talk very much, he just says a few words but does not put them together, thats one of the main reasons why I wanted to put him into daycare so he could interact with other children and pick up on talking. I need some advice please help That is unusual for a child of nearly 3 -- generally, they start putting words together at about 18 months. Speak to your Child Health Nurse (or whoever you see) about this. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) "Parenthood is like the modern stone washing process for denim jeans. You may start out crisp, neat and tough, but you end up pale, limp and wrinkled." Kerry Cue |
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