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#11
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do people not like holding their babies?
Nevermind wrote: You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't *like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure out. I worked in a place where there were LOTS of babies and it was noticable and shocking how MANY people would not take their babies out of the carseat or stroller no matter what. To the point that we were known to comment to those rare moms who DID take their babes out that it was nice to see them respond to their infants. 20lbs isnt' that heavy, imo. I carry DS (19lb 11oz) in backpack or sling for long long periods of time on walks, visits to events, etc. I detest strollers from the point of view of the user AND the poor unfortunate person trying to navigate AROUND one of those monstrous blockages. Given the number of items available to make picking up one's child less "necessary" and the frequency with whch I see MANY of them in one house, I have to assume the average parent spends very little time holding their infant. Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only holding them long enough to transfer them. Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. and really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby) Dawn |
#12
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do people not like holding their babies?
You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which
time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't *like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure out. oh dear, I didn't mean to open a can of worms, or criticise these people, of course I have no idea what these people are like the rest of the day, it just struck me later that it was odd and I shared it, people did eventually pick their babies up when they got unhappy, but it made me think, did I prevent my son from being unhappy by letting him look around and see the surroundings yet be safe in my arms, just a thought... at home he does get put down, we have a bouncy chair and he goes in that whilst I do chores etc. chatting to him whilst I do it, inventing games to play whilst folding washing etc. I love taking him out places where I can sit him on my knee and play/let him be sociable. But I do use a stroller, when walking is required, I like to use a carrier/sling, but I have a bad back and if I know I'm going to be buying anything the stroller makes an excellent trolley. |
#13
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do people not like holding their babies?
Dawn Lawson wibbled
Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. and really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby) I don't like holding the baby during some meals. I am clumsy and the prospect of dropping hot melted cheese on him, for instance, is unpleasantly likely. Babies burn more easily than adults. I'll happily hold him during a cold meal, or something I'm not likely to spill, and for great chunks of the day otherwise (he's on my lap right now) but I will not have him on my lap in a restaurant (ever had a waiter drop a hot meal in your lap? I have) or during certain meals at home. If he needs to be picked up, my meal can always be reheated, but I'm not risking burning him just because putting him in the bouncy chair might be seen as 'unattached'. Jac |
#14
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anonymommmy wrote in message
What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5 years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a preschooler/school age child think about this? Uh, perhaps the child is tired of walking and they are in the stroller for a break. Even though children are able to walk, they do get tired and very quickly. Especially at the zoo or an amusement park. Having a place that they can rest for a bit is probably what these older children are doing. We usually use a wagon when we will be walking for long periods of time, but for the most part I don't think it is weird to see a bigger child in a stroller. -- Sue mom to three girls |
#15
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anonymommmy wrote:
What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5 years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a preschooler/school age child think about this? Sure it may seem weird but I'd rather seem weird to a stranger than carry my 45 lb (or more) child for an half hour or so and kill my back. Jeanne |
#16
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do people not like holding their babies?
I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm
probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people socialise with him! What about all the other kids that are sociable too, but have spent time in a carseat or stroller? there's a flaw in every theory |
#17
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anonymommmy wrote:
What DH and I think is strange is "very old" children, like maybe 5 years old or older, in strollers. It seems as if maybe people don't want to have to deal with the 5-year-old's free will so they confine the child in the stroller for the parent's convenience. Does this seem weird to anyone else? What do people who have (or have had) a preschooler/school age child think about this? IME children want to walk and be free of the stroller up through the age of two. Then they suddenly get very tired and want to be carried everywhere again ;-) Not easy so a stroller works nicely for the pokey or tired older child, especially if the trip requires a lot of walking. I don't know if I live in a weird place or if other people do but I just do not see babies left to cry in car seats, I don't see kids in strollers when they don't want to be, I've never had a negative comment when breastfeeding in public. If a child is happy then I don't see a problem. Lots of babies *prefer* sitting in a carseat or stroller versus being juggled around in mothers arms. My first was in my arms 24/7. Not even dad would do. I carried him constantly at home and when we were out. He cried in the car seat during the ride, he cried at home if I sat him down for 10 seconds. So when I had number two I carried him (without a car seat) when we were out. He was such a crab when we were out. I finally got a car seat because he fell asleep in the car and I hated to wake him up each time we got out of the car and it was hard to help Hunter and hold a floppy newborn that I couldn't set anywhere. Low and behold, he was a much happier camper when he was left in peice rather then be fussed with and get hot in my arms. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
#18
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do people not like holding their babies?
Dawn Lawson wrote in message ...
Nevermind wrote: You see these people for, what, 15 mins of their day, during which time they are not holding their babies, and you assume they don't *like* to hold their babies? This is one of those problems that you need to remind yourself there's "not enough information" to figure out. 20lbs isnt' that heavy, imo. I carry DS (19lb 11oz) in backpack or sling for long long periods of time on walks, visits to events, etc. It isn't too heavy for a sling, which I also use, but it is heavy *for me* when I am simply holding her. I don't find slings to be very convenient for a lot of times. Now that my baby is older and is amused by just being out, I only use it when a stroller would be a PITA or when all I'm doing is walking, not for when I'm walking while needing to do stuff, e.g., shopping. I detest strollers from the point of view of the user Do you mean the parent or the child? If the former, why detest it for them -- they wouldn't use it if they didn't want to. If the latter, why? Some babies are not happy in strollers, but many clearly are. Do you object to happy babies in strollers? Why?! Let's not pretend that babies in slings are never cranky or that if you're out doing stuff with your baby in a sling and she starts crying, you are always able to make her happy immediately. I take ALL my baby's cries seriously, but not all crying can be avoided. If I made that my rule #1, the house and my older kids' lives would fall apart. Remember that a baby crying is not like an adult crying. I only cry when really really upet, whereas babies cry for the equivalent of "I think I'll have a glass of water now." Not every cry is an emergency, nor should it be treated like one. Please do not attempt to twist this into me being hard-hearted about babies crying. I'm not. I just try to keep it in perspective. AND the poor unfortunate person trying to navigate AROUND one of those monstrous blockages. Whatever. You sound like a CFer with that. Given the number of items available to make picking up one's child less "necessary" and the frequency with whch I see MANY of them in one house, I have to assume the average parent spends very little time holding their infant. Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only holding them long enough to transfer them. Are these parents busy with something else when you're there? I tend to assume militant APers are "persons of leisure" who can stand or sit around holding babies all day long. I am most definitely not. I cook our meals; I help 2 older kids with homework and guitar practice and stuff in general; I attend soccer practices and other events not baby-focused; I do this-and-that to keep the house running; and I gasp! work, albeit at home. I do have a babysitter 6 hours a week and do the rest of the bulk of my work at night when the kiddies are abed, but I occasionally need to answer e-mail or look something up or whatever while the baby is awake. Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. Oh, please -- how could you possibly know that this is true? and really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby) Who on earth would hold a baby during a meal if she didn't have to (that is, if the baby was happy in a chair)? My DH and I often have to hold our baby during dinner, but it makes eating very hard. She's constantly grabbing at the plates and the forks. If we feed her in our arms, we get very dirty, making yet more laundry in a busy household. The ultimate question is, if a baby is happy in a stroller, why shouldn't she be there? |
#19
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do people not like holding their babies?
Dawn Lawson wrote:
[...] Many places (homes)I've been, the parent has shuttled the baby from carseat to bouncer to swing to playmat to crib and back, only holding them long enough to transfer them. We have all those things and more! And, they're used a LOT when I have company. I put Pillbug in his bouncy seat or swing so that I can pour drinks for my guests or set out dinner. Although the question may be "loaded" it certainly seems a valid question if you look about and notice how very very few people really DO hold their infants/children for any appreciable length of time. and really, those that reply that they use a stroller or seat say they do so because they do NOT like holding their baby during a meal or to go for walks, or whatever. (Not to say they don't like their baby) I don't hold my baby during my meals! Gosh, my baby is my whole life, but I still want to be able to cut my meat and drink and talk to my husband. Pillbug is in his bouncer at my feet and is included in the conversation, but he's not in my arms! That doesn't mean I don't like to hold him. -- Anita -- Mommy to Pillbug, almost 3 months -- SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS. |
#20
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do people not like holding their babies?
Anne Rogers wrote in message ...
I took ds for jabs today, our surgery has a baby clinic for an hour on a Monday so the waiting room was full of babies. It didn't occur to me til I came home that I was the only one actually holding my baby, everyone else came in with them in a buggy, or a car seat, I'd driven, so when I'd parked I took him out of the seat, so much easier than unbuckling it and it's much easier to carry a baby than a huge plastic bucket. In the waiting room no one picked up their babies til they cried, mine never cried, he sat on my lap, played with me smiled at the nurses, took interest in his surroundings and generally got admired by everyone for being sociable. I didn't think I was an attachment parent, but now I'm probably thinking compared to average I am, he's sociable cos people socialise with him! one of the few times moo is asleep and restful is in his pushchair, so I leave him in there if he is happy. most of the time ( including right this minute) he wont be put down so any chance of a break i get i grab it. its taken us some time to realise that he actually likes to be left alone sometimes though, and will yell until that happens. i wish hed make his mind up :-) teapot and 3 month moo |
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