If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my
birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much pain, a whole week later! read on...) I had discussed my birthing plans with the midwife beforehand and had told her definitely, I did not want to be in any more pain that I had to and would want an epidural (and would let her know if by chance I didn't end up feeling like I needed one). When they asked me what was most important to me, I said the health of the baby- I will consent to any procedure necessary, if it IS necessary, for the baby's safety, and also- it was really imoprtant to me not to be in pain. They emphasized to me that it is my choice and they fully support whatever I want be it epidural or IV meds or nothing at all. But they assured me, they would have no problems with me having an epidural, that a lot of their patients have them. But what happened....was traumatic, I labored for 18 hours! My water broke at 4am. I had no pain or cramping or contractions. We went to the hospital at about 5:30am. It took a while to get me checked in, and still no contractions. The midwife showed up and immediately ordered an IV drip of Pitocin!! She didn't even ask me, but she did tell me she wanted to do it and her reasoning. She just said she didn't want me going any longer without contractions. I don't understand this? I told her I've heard Pitocin causes more painful contractions and also can increase chances of a C-section. She said it increases C-section chances ONLY when used in someone whose cervix is not ready and probably in people who would end up having a C anyway. She did say the contractions hit harder, and told me they would increase my pitocin very slowly and give me an epidural as soon as the pain became too bad. Well, it was a few hours but the pain hit HARD. She orderedn the epidural and checked me and I was only dilated to 2cm. Since I had the epidural she turned up the Pitocin. I had NO problems with the epidural..I could move my legs and feel everything, but felt no pain, it didn't bother my back or leave me with a headache. But.,......in 2 hours it wore off, and they called anesthesia to give me more meds. They checked me and I was dilated 10- fully dilated! This was about 3pm. She wanted me to "labor down" before pushing so she had the Pitocin turned off and had me rest for an hour. My epidural wore off again! This time she wanted me to push before ythe epidural and it went on for a long time until I was hurting SO bad and nothing was accomplished. I was pushing hard but the baby wasn't moving. I begged for the epidural again and she finally called anesthesia back. Well.......after more pushing and no baby, and me being completely exhausted and in pain....the epidural wore off again!!! I was crying out in pain, and insisting I wanted and needed pain relief per my birth plan. It was way too long before she actually agreed to get the anesthesia person back in. THEN the midwife told the anesthesiologist "Give her only half the amount you have been since she needs to push". The anesthesiologist shot her a look and looked at me (I'm crying by now) and said "If I give half I may as well not even give ANY because it won't help" and the anesthesiologist gave me MORE--- GOD BLESS HER!!!! I was truly in agony, I don't know why it was so bad. Or why the midwife seemed to not care if my epodural wore off. So anyway after 2 more hours of pushing, they had been seeing the baby's head all this time but she was STUCK, and the midwife even said she could see I was truly pushing hard. She finally told me that I was a good pusher and the baby should have been out by now but wasn't coming down. The midwife told me she was calling the OB and transferring care to him, and she told me to get ready for a C-section!!! She told me it would be the doctor's decision, her hands were out of it now, but in allhonesty I was headed for a C-section so she was having the nurses prepare me. I was SO tense!!! And worried. Also by this time the midwife had caused a vaginal tear while reaching in me. Well...the OB, a really wonderful doctor who I had never met, came in and checked me and said he thought he could get the baby out himself. He did have to use forceps and I did have to push but he had the baby out in 10 minutes!!! He also scolded the nurses for some equipment being labelled wrong, my husband said (I wasn't paying attention!) The dr was all-business and he got the job done. And one more thing I forgot to mention, all the while my epidural had worn off, the midwife kept telling me "You said it hurts once- don't mention it again! We are going to think about something else now", and wouldn't let them redo my epidural until SHE wantd them to. My mom did come to the hospital and heard the midwife telling me at the beginning that they would give me pain medication to take care of my pain, not to be nervous. My husband never left my side the entire labor so he witnessed how the midwife did. But anyway, every time after that I said I hurt and was asking for epidural, the midwife would get on me and tell me I had to think about something else, my pain would "not be zero", I would hurt some. !!!! I was furious. Actually that was afterwards, during labor I was just upset and in a lot of pain. I feel the midwife was WAY wrong to deny me the epidural after it kept wearing off. My labor nurse said hers wore off every 2 hours also. Also, if the midwife had turned me over to the OB in the first place, soon after realizxing the baby wasn't coming out, I wonder if I would have as many stitches. They did not do episiotomy but I tore through the muscles and had a lot of stitches. The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my bottom is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my "anxiety" causing me to "think" I hurt bad. !!!!!!Then she said "Do you think that's what it is Jiiiiiiill?" My husband was in the room, and looked kind of surprised when I took a tone with her for the rest of the phone call. My husband had me call the midwife on call because he wanted them to meet me at the ER to make sure my stitches aren't coming out or I am not bleeding internally. I finally ended up calling the OB on call for the OBs office that the midwives partner with. I told him about all of this. He told me his wife had the same thing happen (had a tear through her muscles) and that it is very painful indeed and he knew that's what happened to me from what happened during labor and my description of the pain now. He's having me come in Monday to see the OB who delivered my baby to check me. He said unfortunately, the midwives don't like to treat pain with medicines, that the OBs are more pain-centered. I told him-- they told me at my initial consult that they had no problem giving you whatever pain relief you need- then I told him about the anxiety comment. He sort of couldn't believe that. But he also couldn't believe the midwife let me keep pushing when the baby was stuck, for 4 hours... Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches, has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they have been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want a natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else the patient needs or prefers. But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her. Oh- the OB also told me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off, because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!! he also said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me! I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a nurse-midwife. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
"Jill" wrote in message om... Oh, Jill, I'm so sorry that your experience with the midwives was so negative. That's really too bad. Oh- the OB also told me if I HAD labored naturally without Pitocin, I probably really wouldn't have hurt as bad THEN as I did this time with the epidurals that wore off, because my contractions priobably wouldn't have been nearly as bad!! FWIW, that's armchair quarterbacking. It's no more valid than a midwife, saying after a bad medical birth "Oh, well, had we handled you without interventions, things would have gone more smoothly." There really isn't any way to know what might have happened had you made other choices. he also said a recovery from a c-section would potentially be less painful than recovery from the kind of tears and stitches I had. NOW they tell me! This I can speak to, having had a C. While you might have had a painful recovery, you might also have had a nearly pain-free one from a C, like I did. It's very possible. But again, you could have had the C and had a terrible recovery. Try to let it go. There really isn't any way of knowing what would have happened in different circumstances. I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a nurse-midwife. Personally, I'm greatly in favor of in-hospital, OB-attended births, so of course I think that's a good idea. But you might consider, if a midwife-attended birth is important to you, that you could have an excellent birth experience with a different group of midwives. Like physicians, there are great midwives and not-so-great-midwives out there. When the time comes around that you are shopping around for another caregiver, consider that you could certainly find a good midwife, elsewhere. I'm very sorry that you had such a rough go, Jill. I'm really happy that you got good medical care and ongoing pain relief at last, however. I hope you feel more comfortable soon. Donna |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Jill wrote:
Sorry you had to go through all that! I do think that pushing that long with that little progress isn't particularly common, even among midwives, unless the mom *wants* to continue that way. I think it would be an uncommon situation for that to go on so long without at least bringing in an OB consult when the birth was in the hospital already. Sigh..................I will not be seeing the midwives anymore. They were fantastic during my appointments but labor with them was hell. Their treatment after labor when I have been in very bad pain from the stitches, has been horrid too. My husband even commented that for no reason, they have been kind of attitudey and sarcastic, whenever the subject of pain or request for pain relief comes up and he agrees with me if they want to be unhelpful with it, they should have told me when I told them I didn't want a natural birth instead of telling me they give epidurals and whatever else the patient needs or prefers. Absolutely. I'm sorry your midwives behaved that way. It's certainly inappropriate. I think next time I will stick with an OB and have a doula, instead of a nurse-midwife. Truly, I don't think that your experience had to do with the *type* of provider so much as personal or practice philosophy issues. I would just suggest that next time you try to get additional information on pain relief philosophies from *whichever* caregivers you interview. Actually, the tough thing is that you probably need to get independent information (e.g., recommendations from other clients, if possible), because I think this is an area where you usually are told whatever they think you want to hear. The midwives I went with are probably as earthy-birthy as they come, but I know several of their clients who ended up with transports (for exhaustion or failure to progress or whatever) who then chose to have epidurals and didn't catch any grief whatsoever for it. Best wishes, Ericka |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Jill
What a nightmare. I don't know what to say except that I am very upset at what you experienced. I went through my own birth trauma last fall. Too much mental and physical damage. To as much recovery as we can, Dagny Mom to Meg, 10/03 and to a possibility, ?1/19/05? |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Ouch Jill. You have been so amazing! I think I would have bitten the head
off the midwife! I cannot believe the attitude of the midwives. Everybody experiences pain differently, anxiety or not. Who are they to be so rude to you! And the tear you ended up with and the stitches sounds way more painful than my recovery from the c-section. Anyway you got the best present a mother could wish for this past Mother's day! Congratulations again to you and DH and welcome to lovely Rachel. Wishing you a very speedy and complete recovery. Pampering vibes on your way. Love -- Nicky Proud mamma to Alexandra (03/22/2004) |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Jill wrote:
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much pain, a whole week later! read on...) Oh Jill - I'm so sorry for all the trauma. I'm stunned that your midwives behaved so badly :-( For the stitches... take lots of baths, get some witch hazel pads to wear in your underwear, use that numbing spray you can buy over the counter, and a peri bottle each time you go to the restroom. I found sitting on plain hard chairs to be more comfortable then cushy chairs which sounds counter intuitive but I think it meant less stretching. That was especially true with #1, probably because there was more generalized swelling and trauma (due to a long pushing stage). -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3) |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Jill spake thusly
Argh. While my husband is holding the baby, I just wanted to post about my birth experience. (Motherhood is great! But ouch....I am in soooooo much pain, a whole week later! read on...) Jill, I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I'm still playing over my own experience in my mind, and it was quick and uneventful in comparison - it is so much to deal with, isn't it? And being sore for weeks afterwards makes it a little harder to enjoy motherhood, I've found. I had a third degree tear, so I kinda know what you're going through with the sore bottom!! My midwife recommended a daily salt bath - add half a cup of salt to your bath. Plus showering off after a bowel movement, to keep the area clean. After two weeks, I can finally say that I'm feeling heaps better, and able to move around okay. It's a bit itchy down below, but I think that's just things healing. It does get better. -- Maggie Jamie - May 2nd |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
SNIPPED THE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE MIDWIFE INFORMATION!
But the bottom line is, my daughter is beautiful and worth it, perfect and healthy,and I would do it all over again to have her. The good news is you know what to expect next time! What a horrible midwife you had. I'm sorry I wasn't there to be able to step in and help! In my situation, my mother stepped in and INSISTED they call in the OB because she was worried about me. Additionally, I had the self dispensing clicker to have my epidural administered (though it was leaking and wore off and had to be fixed by the anesthesiologist). I know how it feels to wear off. Scary as hell thinking you will have to deliver without it! Nubain was the worst part of the entire labor. Glad you are home and well. How is the breastfeeding coming along?? -- ~Carol Ann Mom to Morgan born 3.24.04 http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeBNnDdizZNneg ---Pictures! |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Maggie wrote:
My midwife recommended a daily salt bath - add half a cup of salt to your bath. My midwives recommended a slightly more elaborate bath that might be helpful. You need to buy some herbs, and you'll want to get them somewhere that sells them in bulk (some health food stores do). For each bath: 1/2 cup uva ursi 1/2 cup comfrey 1/2 cup shepherd's purse 1/2 head of garlic (roughly chopped, skins okay) 1/2 cup sea salt Bring a couple quarts of water to a boil in a non- reactive pan. Take it off the heat and add the herbs. Steep 20 minutes or so, then strain into the bath. Do this once a day until you're feeling better. I didn't have much perineal trauma, so I'm probably not the best judge of how well it works, but I talked to some of their other clients who thought it worked wonders. (It's great for baby's cord stump, too.) Best wishes, Ericka |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
Midwives and my birth/story
Jill wrote: The past few days I have been in excriciating pain. The midwives , every time I call them , get on me for mentioning the pain. They gave me Lortab which is ineffective and finally ended up giving me Percocet. But my bottom is SO sore. One of the midwives in the groups told me over the phone that they didn't think I hurt any more than anyone else, that it was my "anxiety" causing me to "think" I hurt bad. I think its very irresponsible to be dissmissive of your post-partum pain levels without actually checking you to rule out infection; either way, pain is pain and should be dealt with. Glad you are enjoying motherhood even if your labor and delivery wasn't ideal. cara |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
'Midwives...encourage...semisitting' (Yale CNMwifery Prof. Helen Varney) | Todd Gastaldo | Pregnancy | 0 | April 29th 04 04:33 PM |
Georgetown U. Hospital firing their midwives | Alpha | Pregnancy | 2 | April 8th 04 03:20 PM |
Odent on forceps (also: midwives 'prisoners of protocol') | Todd Gastaldo | Pregnancy | 0 | March 1st 04 05:59 AM |
Midwives, Doulas, and Wal-mart | zeldabee | Pregnancy | 5 | August 2nd 03 10:47 PM |
Midwives getting practical experience | andrea | Pregnancy | 3 | July 28th 03 06:15 PM |