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#591
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 8, 3:06 pm, "DB" wrote:
How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I don't teach him? Women will never be a man's equal as long as they rely on a man's money to support themselves! And a man will never be more than his children accomplish, while a woman can always depend on herself (even if it is getting child support from a sorry biological father) to do what she can to get what she wants. It's obvious that your ex was just smarter to you. Cry all you want, but these women you are complaining about did something you couldn't do as a man. They made the system work for them. Why would a person want to be equal to what they have surpassed? Not all men, but men like you, are the reason the child support system is the way it is. |
#592
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 8, 7:29 pm, "Chris" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com... On Oct 5, 2:33 pm, "Chris" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in oglegroups.com... On Oct 4, 3:28 pm, "Chris" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in ooglegroups.com... On Oct 2, 2:27 pm, "Chris" wrote: wrote in message oups.com... On Oct 2, 12:43 pm, (Ray Fischer) wrote: wrote: (Ray Fischer) wrote: Robert wrote: "DB" wrote: That's right comrade, take away all adult choices that any citizen has! Every adult has a choice to not father or bear a child. That's a lie. Men have no such choice. They can and have been forced to become parents. Lets get back to the good old days of baking the Jews in the oven because we don't like the way they operate or owning blacks and other less than human persons because we feel they are not our equals. Not even close, either support you children or be "fixed" so you can not add to the burden on society. The nazi solution - sterilize the undesirables. They were not forced into having sex, so they were not forced into parenthood. You must be one of those morons who doesn't know the difference between having sex and being a parent. -- Ray Fischer - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Let's be honest-you are the moron. I know the difference between having sex, protecting myself against pregnancy (because I can only afford one child), and being a parent. You're the one with a learning disability on the subject, Mr. Men don't make babies. You're a dee,dee,dee-and an ass! Which says NOTHING about the truth of his claim. - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - What truth? More like excuses for not being responsible for your off spring. How's that for truth? That depends on what you mean by "being responsible for your off spring". His true claim is that men don't make babies. - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - What he should have claimed is this: REAL Men don't make children, and refuse to give them emotional, parental, and financial support. NO man can "make children", let alone "real" men. - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Only somebody that has no idea about parenthood would makea comment like that. Since I do not fit such category, your claim is false. I don't have to wonder why you are not the custodial parent.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - Not a claim, rather more of an observation. If you are a good parent, you'll do whatever it takes to do right by your blood. |
#593
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 8, 8:19 pm, "Chris" wrote:
"DB" wrote in message ... "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in Do you not live in Americia, do you not work? YOU people includes yourself as well. Don't forget, you are crying while I am trying to help you out, so when you say "people like you", it applies to you as well. You don't need to help me, you're the one that lives here and will have to pay the price for the hole that your government reprehensive has dug for you. You better get busy writing a whole bunch of letters!!!! No need. When someone is on the welfare roles, they are the LAST one to be affected. - Hide quoted text - I am not on welfare! I have too much pride in myself, and my son to not work, unlike you who makes a thousand excuses as to why you should not have to take care of your kin! |
#594
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 8, 9:21 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"teachrmama" wrote "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote "Gini" wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote .................................... But maybe if I write a letter to the judicial fitness board they will do something about it. :-) == Bob, let me know if you want me to write one, too. I'll bet TM and the rest won't mind writing a letter, either. Maybe you'll even get your money back with interest --as soon as they realize they were wrong, that is. Oh yeah, maybe you guys could write a letter to the FL judge who didn't give us credit for the $7,000. we paid the ex directly--they mistakenly called that money a gift. That would be fantastic! We could get that room addition we've been saving for. Wish I'd known about this lettter writing thing a long time ago. Live and learn, I guess.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - The law clearly states that if you pay money directly to the CP it is considered a gift, unless you were married, then the check memo must state CHILD SUPPORT. == (Piggybacking--sorry TM, I have her killfiled.) Where do you get this stuff? What "law...clearly states this?" I'm sure you can provide a citation, since it is so clear? In fact, jurisdictions differ on this and in many cases. it is a matter of judicial discretion. FYI, my husband was married to the ex. The child support was established in the divorce decree outside CSE. The "check memo" can state anything the payor desires. That has no legal effect on a judges characterization of the money. In our case, the judge stated that unless you can tell me precisely what the money was to be used for ie..child A's shoes and school supplies, I'm gonna call it a gift. If you don't like it, file an appeal. So, I will now be waiting for your citation of the clearly stated law.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - You can wait.. I don't like you because of your comment about me earlier. I'm sorry your husband is "forced" to take care if his own blood. Gee, that must make life so hard for you. Can't but that Tommy bag because of you husband's kids. Get a job. |
#595
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 8, 11:53 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com... On Oct 8, 12:35 pm, "DB" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in I think a lot of NCP's whith all this child support drama could make thier lives a lot better if they tried to work out some type of arrangement with the CP. I thought we had an agreement, I was told to come to court in 2 months and have $2500 in cash and prepare to sign an agreement to garnish my wages for $823 per month. I don't have that kind of money, but I did manage to borrow money from Friends and family. When I got there, i was told that she now wants $4000. You can guess what I told the judge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you are imbelishing it a little bit. If you were told to come in at a certain date, and pay a certain amount, it should have been stated on the scheduling papers. Point is, you keep being nasty toward me, and I'm just trying to give you some advice to get the CS system to treat you in a fairer manner. You don't seem to want advice, you just seem to want something to complain about. Like I said, the energy you spend complaining and trying to down me, you could be using to draft a petition, write a letter to the Federal CSEA. Stop hating, and start doing. But my question for you is: Upon what experience do you base your advice? Is it something you have gone through as a noncustodial parent? Do you know a noncustodial parent who has experienced soem of what is complained about by some of the people here? Is it from what you have read or is it based on assumptions you have made about what you consider to be fair and right? Where do you get your advice? And why do you so easily discount the experiences that people here share? - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - I get my advice from the fact that my ex boyfriend (before I got married) had a child support case, and was the NCP. They were battling for a hot min, but in the end, there are state guidelines, and the judge can not put an obligation higher than the state maximum. He was just mad because he didn't want to pay anything, so I left him. What kind of man doesn't want to help support thier kin? I am discounting a lot of things because there are things these people can do to get aomething "fair", but it seems that what is fair by the stateguidelines are not fair to them. When I try to give some advice.... Well you can feel the sarcasim in the responses. That is not the way people that are being treated unfairly behave. A person that was truely being done unjustly would have accepted advice, tried it, and then reported what progress was made. I'm sorry, but it seems some of these people are here just to gripe because they have to take care of thier own. |
#596
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 9, 12:02 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com... On Oct 8, 9:33 am, "teachrmama" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in oglegroups.com... snip for length I gave options of what to do if one institution fails. I am sorry you are too much of a moron to comprehend what was written. Take a step back, and please don't throw the word moron around so easily. Several of the posters you are communicating with are no longer even in the child support system. Their children are grown and gone from home--and they did everything you suggested and more during the decades they were caught up in the system--to no avail. It sounds good on paper--but it does not work in reality because of how the family court system is set up. You sound very idealistic right now. It would be nice if things really worked that way--but they don't. If both of the parents would communicate with each other BEFORE getting the courts involved, there would be less need for the CSEA, and judges to be involved. I notice a lot of bad mouthing on BOTH sides going on. Wouldn't it be easier for both parties to get together and work something out? Sure it would. But why would the person most likely to benefit from involving the courts (usually the woman) settle for less than all she could get? Why work it out if you can get more from not working it out? I don't want them to raise the amount, in fact, I don't even want his money. I know in the end, he will be on his death bed and have a lifetime of regrets. I think it has more to do with revenge and hurt feelings rather than what is important, which is the child. It is nice that you feel that way. But there are far too many who do not feel that way at all. I am so glad that my mom and dad taught me the value of a days worth of work, because from what I have been reading, a lot of the NCP are mad because the CP won't work and do thier share. I could introduce you to a few--and they are adamant that they should be supported by the NCP because, after all, they have the arduous task of raising the child. I'm not saying that all of the CP are in it for revenge, but I can see why a lot of these NCP are feeling that they are getting ripped off. If everyone would put the child above all, where would they all stand? Those are the cases you do not see in court. It only takes one to create a disagreement. And if you will get more for disagreeing, why agree? I'm not trying to say I'm better than the next person, but a parent needs to work in order to show thier children how to make a living. How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I don't teach him? Didn't you say you are married? Isn't his stepfather helping with that task? If the CP doesn't work, then child support should not be granted to them. If the CP does hold down a job, and is paying thier share of the childs financial responsibility, then the NCP should pay the child support. If the CP doesn't work, the child should go to the NCP. - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - My husband does help out, but I want to be involved in all aspects of my son's life. I am his mother, he lived under my heart for 43 weeks. I handle the study time, homework time, fun time, and all of the discipline. I also work full time (70 hrs a week), and install cable on my day off on Saturday morning's. When it comes to my son I am the alpha dog, not my husband. We do thing a certain way in the household. We both work, and buy groceries. I do not allow my husband to pay child care for my son, or cloths. When we go out to a resturant, and he is treating that is O.K, but I'm not going to slack off just because there are two incomes now. I did it all on my ownbefore he came along, and should he leave, I'll still be down to do it all on my own, because I take care of my blood, of my kin. I have pride in my child, and should I have to work my fingers to the bone, you best know my son will be taken care of. The people who make the comments saying that women will never be equal to men, well I must say, speaking for myself, I have surpassed any man that thinks he can do what I do. I don't need to be equal, I just need to be and do me. |
#597
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
On Oct 9, 2:48 am, "Chris" wrote:
"teachrmama" wrote in message ... "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message ups.com... On Oct 8, 9:33 am, "teachrmama" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in oglegroups.com... snip for length I gave options of what to do if one institution fails. I am sorry you are too much of a moron to comprehend what was written. Take a step back, and please don't throw the word moron around so easily. Several of the posters you are communicating with are no longer even in the child support system. Their children are grown and gone from home--and they did everything you suggested and more during the decades they were caught up in the system--to no avail. It sounds good on paper--but it does not work in reality because of how the family court system is set up. You sound very idealistic right now. It would be nice if things really worked that way--but they don't. If both of the parents would communicate with each other BEFORE getting the courts involved, there would be less need for the CSEA, and judges to be involved. I notice a lot of bad mouthing on BOTH sides going on. Wouldn't it be easier for both parties to get together and work something out? Sure it would. But why would the person most likely to benefit from involving the courts (usually the woman) settle for less than all she could get? Why work it out if you can get more from not working it out? I don't want them to raise the amount, in fact, I don't even want his money. I know in the end, he will be on his death bed and have a lifetime of regrets. I think it has more to do with revenge and hurt feelings rather than what is important, which is the child. It is nice that you feel that way. But there are far too many who do not feel that way at all. I am so glad that my mom and dad taught me the value of a days worth of work, because from what I have been reading, a lot of the NCP are mad because the CP won't work and do thier share. I could introduce you to a few--and they are adamant that they should be supported by the NCP because, after all, they have the arduous task of raising the child. I'm not saying that all of the CP are in it for revenge, but I can see why a lot of these NCP are feeling that they are getting ripped off. If everyone would put the child above all, where would they all stand? Those are the cases you do not see in court. It only takes one to create a disagreement. And if you will get more for disagreeing, why agree? I'm not trying to say I'm better than the next person, but a parent needs to work in order to show thier children how to make a living. How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I don't teach him? Didn't you say you are married? Isn't his stepfather helping with that task? If the CP doesn't work, then child support should not be granted to them. If the CP does hold down a job, and is paying thier share of the childs financial responsibility, then the NCP should pay the child support. If the CP doesn't work, the child should go to the NCP. Whether the CP works or not is irrelevant. The child should EQUALLY be with the CP (code acronym for "mother) and the NCP (code acronym for "father). But can't have that, because then it would be ................................. FAIR. - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - My brother is a CP, so do not say CP is mother, that is not correct. His kids mom took him for child support, but he was able to prove he was a far more fit arent in thier case. Are you saying that the CP is always a woman, because that is a woman-hater comment. If these women are so bad as you all say, why can't it be proven in the courts? |
#598
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message ups.com... On Oct 8, 9:21 pm, "Gini" wrote: "teachrmama" wrote "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote "Gini" wrote: "Bob Whiteside" wrote .................................... But maybe if I write a letter to the judicial fitness board they will do something about it. :-) == Bob, let me know if you want me to write one, too. I'll bet TM and the rest won't mind writing a letter, either. Maybe you'll even get your money back with interest --as soon as they realize they were wrong, that is. Oh yeah, maybe you guys could write a letter to the FL judge who didn't give us credit for the $7,000. we paid the ex directly--they mistakenly called that money a gift. That would be fantastic! We could get that room addition we've been saving for. Wish I'd known about this lettter writing thing a long time ago. Live and learn, I guess.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - The law clearly states that if you pay money directly to the CP it is considered a gift, unless you were married, then the check memo must state CHILD SUPPORT. == (Piggybacking--sorry TM, I have her killfiled.) Where do you get this stuff? What "law...clearly states this?" I'm sure you can provide a citation, since it is so clear? In fact, jurisdictions differ on this and in many cases. it is a matter of judicial discretion. FYI, my husband was married to the ex. The child support was established in the divorce decree outside CSE. The "check memo" can state anything the payor desires. That has no legal effect on a judges characterization of the money. In our case, the judge stated that unless you can tell me precisely what the money was to be used for ie..child A's shoes and school supplies, I'm gonna call it a gift. If you don't like it, file an appeal. So, I will now be waiting for your citation of the clearly stated law.- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - You can wait.. I don't like you because of your comment about me earlier. I'm sorry your husband is "forced" to take care if his own blood. Gee, that must make life so hard for you. Can't but that Tommy bag because of you husband's kids. Get a job. That was really a very rude comment. You *are* incorrect about so many of your assumptions about the system. The law does not say the things that you seem to think it says. Do you really think that everyone who objects to the CS system is just looking for a way to get out of supporting their own children? |
#599
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message oups.com... On Oct 8, 11:53 pm, "teachrmama" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com... On Oct 8, 12:35 pm, "DB" wrote: "child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in I think a lot of NCP's whith all this child support drama could make thier lives a lot better if they tried to work out some type of arrangement with the CP. I thought we had an agreement, I was told to come to court in 2 months and have $2500 in cash and prepare to sign an agreement to garnish my wages for $823 per month. I don't have that kind of money, but I did manage to borrow money from Friends and family. When I got there, i was told that she now wants $4000. You can guess what I told the judge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think you are imbelishing it a little bit. If you were told to come in at a certain date, and pay a certain amount, it should have been stated on the scheduling papers. Point is, you keep being nasty toward me, and I'm just trying to give you some advice to get the CS system to treat you in a fairer manner. You don't seem to want advice, you just seem to want something to complain about. Like I said, the energy you spend complaining and trying to down me, you could be using to draft a petition, write a letter to the Federal CSEA. Stop hating, and start doing. But my question for you is: Upon what experience do you base your advice? Is it something you have gone through as a noncustodial parent? Do you know a noncustodial parent who has experienced soem of what is complained about by some of the people here? Is it from what you have read or is it based on assumptions you have made about what you consider to be fair and right? Where do you get your advice? And why do you so easily discount the experiences that people here share? - Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - I get my advice from the fact that my ex boyfriend (before I got married) had a child support case, and was the NCP. They were battling for a hot min, but in the end, there are state guidelines, and the judge can not put an obligation higher than the state maximum. He was just mad because he didn't want to pay anything, so I left him. And there are defiitely people who try to avoid any responsibility for their actions. But just because your ex boyfriend wat that way does not mean that everyone here is, or that there are no justifiable complaints. I'll give you some examples that I know to be true: Wife leaves man and 1 yr old daughter, runs off with another guy. Dad files for custody. Mom returns a year later and wants kid back. Court order mom 48% custody, dad 52%. Dad is ordered to pay $400 per month in child support, even though both parents make the same amount of money. They say that dad can work overtime during the time he does not have the child. This is a TRUE situation!! Over the years, mom has worked less and less. She now does not work at all, and is taking dad back to court for an increase in CS, since she does not work. Man notices that his paycheck is being garnished for child support--he and his wife call to find out why. A wman is claiming that he fathered her 9 year old daughter--and he has been found to be the father because he did not respons to a notice in the newspaper published in a newpaper in a town that he hasn't lived in for over 2 years. He files a document asking for proof of paternity--discovers that the arrearages they have against him are over $80,000--for a child he knew nothing about! He gets his blood drawn--the woman, who now lives in another state, refuses. The case drags on for over a year, and is finally dismissed. 2-1/2 years later, the state where she lives demands CS--and this time she takes the test. Child is his--and is almost 13. Fortunately for the father, laws have changed, and they can only charge arrearages back 2 years from proof of paternity, so he is only charged $20K (with penalties and interest) Otherwise it would have been over $100,000!! Man's credit is trashed. Man makes $5000/month, is charged $1000 in child support +$450 for child care +$250 for health insurance.That's $1600/month. Job is sent overseas--he and all the other folks with the same job--scramble to find work. But he can only find a job paying $3200 per month--and that is a lucky find! Judge refuses to grant a modification because "You made that much before, so I know you can do it again. There are similar jobs out there--find one!" Of course, those jobs are being held onto tightly by those who have them, because they are scarce now. So the man is SOL, paying over half his take-home in CS. I could give you other examples, and so could others here. Your ex boyfriend's attitude does NOT define the issue, but is only one small part of it. What kind of man doesn't want to help support thier kin? I am discounting a lot of things because there are things these people can do to get aomething "fair", but it seems that what is fair by the stateguidelines are not fair to them. When I try to give some advice.... Well you can feel the sarcasim in the responses. My dear, do you not understand that everything you have suggested has been tried? And not just once, but time and time again. You are laboring under the delusion that the system was created to be fair to all concerned. It wasn't!! If my husband lost his job, we aould all tighten out belts and get through it--our 2 girls would do with a lot less for a while. But a custodial mother doesn't have to tighten her belt, because that CS will keep flowing no matter what. It's a very rigid system designed to MAKE SURE money gets there, despite the real exigencies of life! That is not the way people that are being treated unfairly behave. A person that was truely being done unjustly would have accepted advice, tried it, and then reported what progress was made. I'm sorry, but it seems some of these people are here just to gripe because they have to take care of thier own. As I have stated, all this and more HAS been done. You are far too idealistic in this area. Truly. |
#600
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Runnin from Custodial Parent
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in Are you saying that the CP is always a woman, because that is a woman-hater comment. Thank you for the chuckle! If these women are so bad as you all say, why can't it be proven in the courts? Family Kourt is not the same as real criminal court!!!!!!!!!!1 |
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