Runnin from Custodial Parent

On Oct 8, 3:06 pm, "DB" wrote:
How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I
don't teach him?

Women will never be a man's equal as long as they rely on a man's money to
support themselves!

And a man will never be more than his children accomplish, while a
woman can always depend on herself (even if it is getting child
support from a sorry biological father) to do what she can to get what
she wants. It's obvious that your ex was just smarter to you. Cry all
you want, but these women you are complaining about did something you
couldn't do as a man. They made the system work for them. Why would a
person want to be equal to what they have surpassed? Not all men, but
men like you, are the reason the child support system is the way it
is.

On Oct 8, 7:29 pm, "Chris" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com... On Oct 5, 2:33 pm, "Chris" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

oglegroups.com... On Oct
4, 3:28 pm, "Chris" wrote:





"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

ooglegroups.com...

On Oct 2, 2:27 pm, "Chris" wrote:
wrote in message

oups.com...

On Oct 2, 12:43 pm, (Ray Fischer) wrote:
wrote:
(Ray Fischer) wrote:
Robert wrote:
"DB" wrote:
That's right comrade, take away all adult choices that
any
citizen
has!

Every adult has a choice to not father or bear a child.

That's a lie. Men have no such choice. They can and
have
been
forced
to become parents.

Lets get back to the good old days of baking the Jews
in
the
oven
because we
don't like the way they operate or owning blacks and
other
less
than human
persons because we feel they are not our equals.

Not even close, either support you children or be
"fixed" so
you
can
not add to the burden on society.

The nazi solution - sterilize the undesirables.

They were not forced into having sex, so they were not
forced
into
parenthood.

You must be one of those morons who doesn't know the
difference
between having sex and being a parent.

--
Ray Fischer
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Let's be honest-you are the moron. I know the difference
between
having sex, protecting myself against pregnancy (because I can
only
afford one child), and being a parent. You're the one with a
learning
disability on the subject, Mr. Men don't make babies. You're a
dee,dee,dee-and an ass!

Which says NOTHING about the truth of his claim.

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What truth? More like excuses for not being responsible for your
off
spring. How's that for truth?

That depends on what you mean by "being responsible for your off
spring".
His true claim is that men don't make babies.

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What he should have claimed is this: REAL Men don't make children,
and refuse to give them emotional, parental, and financial support.

NO man can "make children", let alone "real" men.

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Only somebody that has no idea about parenthood would makea comment
like that.

Since I do not fit such category, your claim is false.



I don't have to wonder why you are not the custodial parent.- Hide quoted text -

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Not a claim, rather more of an observation. If you are a good parent,
you'll do whatever it takes to do right by your blood.

On Oct 8, 8:19 pm, "Chris" wrote:
"DB" wrote in message

...



"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Do you not live in Americia, do you not work? YOU people includes
yourself as well. Don't forget, you are crying while I am trying to
help you out, so when you say "people like you", it applies to you as
well.

You don't need to help me, you're the one that lives here and will have to
pay the price for the hole that your government reprehensive has dug for
you. You better get busy writing a whole bunch of letters!!!!

No need. When someone is on the welfare roles, they are the LAST one to be
affected.



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I am not on welfare! I have too much pride in myself, and my son to not work, unlike you who makes a thousand excuses as to why you should not have to take care of your kin!

On Oct 8, 9:21 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"teachrmama" wrote

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote

....................................



But maybe if I write a letter to the judicial fitness board they will
do
something about it. :-)

==
Bob, let me know if you want me to write one, too. I'll bet TM and the
rest
won't mind writing a letter, either. Maybe you'll
even get your money back with interest --as soon as they realize they
were
wrong, that is. Oh yeah, maybe you
guys could write a letter to the FL judge who didn't give us credit for
the
$7,000. we paid the ex directly--they
mistakenly called that money a gift. That would be fantastic! We could
get
that room addition we've been saving for.
Wish I'd known about this lettter writing thing a long time ago. Live
and
learn, I guess.- Hide quoted text -

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The law clearly states that if you pay money directly to the CP it is
considered a gift, unless you were married, then the check memo must
state CHILD SUPPORT.

==
(Piggybacking--sorry TM, I have her killfiled.)

Where do you get this stuff? What "law...clearly states this?" I'm sure you
can provide a citation,
since it is so clear? In fact, jurisdictions differ on this and in many
cases. it is a matter of judicial discretion.
FYI, my husband was married to the ex. The child support was established
in the divorce decree outside
CSE. The "check memo" can state anything the payor desires. That has no
legal effect on a judges characterization of the money.
In our case, the judge stated that unless you can tell me precisely what the
money was to be used for
ie..child A's shoes and school supplies, I'm gonna call it a gift. If you
don't like it, file an appeal. So, I will
now be waiting for your citation of the clearly stated law.- Hide quoted text -

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You can wait.. I don't like you because of your comment about me
earlier. I'm sorry your husband is "forced" to take care if his own
blood. Gee, that must make life so hard for you. Can't but that Tommy
bag because of you husband's kids. Get a job.

On Oct 8, 11:53 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com...





On Oct 8, 12:35 pm, "DB" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

I think a lot of NCP's whith all this child support drama could make
thier lives a lot better if they tried to work out some type of
arrangement with the CP.

I thought we had an agreement, I was told to come to court in 2 months
and
have $2500 in cash and prepare to sign an agreement to garnish my wages
for
$823 per month.
I don't have that kind of money, but I did manage to borrow money from
Friends and family.

When I got there, i was told that she now wants $4000.

You can guess what I told the judge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you are imbelishing it a little bit. If you were told to come
in at a certain date, and pay a certain amount, it should have been
stated on the scheduling papers. Point is, you keep being nasty toward
me, and I'm just trying to give you some advice to get the CS system
to treat you in a fairer manner. You don't seem to want advice, you
just seem to want something to complain about. Like I said, the energy
you spend complaining and trying to down me, you could be using to
draft a petition, write a letter to the Federal CSEA. Stop hating, and
start doing.

But my question for you is: Upon what experience do you base your advice?
Is it something you have gone through as a noncustodial parent? Do you know
a noncustodial parent who has experienced soem of what is complained about
by some of the people here? Is it from what you have read or is it based on
assumptions you have made about what you consider to be fair and right?
Where do you get your advice? And why do you so easily discount the
experiences that people here share?



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I get my advice from the fact that my ex boyfriend (before I got
married) had a child support case, and was the NCP. They were battling
for a hot min, but in the end, there are state guidelines, and the
judge can not put an obligation higher than the state maximum. He was
just mad because he didn't want to pay anything, so I left him. What
kind of man doesn't want to help support thier kin? I am discounting a
lot of things because there are things these people can do to get
aomething "fair", but it seems that what is fair by the
stateguidelines are not fair to them. When I try to give some
advice.... Well you can feel the sarcasim in the responses. That is
not the way people that are being treated unfairly behave. A person
that was truely being done unjustly would have accepted advice, tried
it, and then reported what progress was made. I'm sorry, but it seems
some of these people are here just to gripe because they have to take
care of thier own.

On Oct 9, 12:02 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in glegroups.com...

On Oct 8, 9:33 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in
oglegroups.com...

snip for length







I gave options of what to do if one institution fails. I am sorry you
are too much of a moron to comprehend what was written.

Take a step back, and please don't throw the word moron around so easily.
Several of the posters you are communicating with are no longer even in
the
child support system. Their children are grown and gone from home--and
they
did everything you suggested and more during the decades they were caught
up
in the system--to no avail. It sounds good on paper--but it does not
work
in reality because of how the family court system is set up. You sound
very
idealistic right now. It would be nice if things really worked that
way--but they don't.

If both of the parents would communicate with each other BEFORE
getting the courts involved, there would be less need for the CSEA,
and judges to be involved. I notice a lot of bad mouthing on BOTH
sides going on. Wouldn't it be easier for both parties to get together
and work something out?

Sure it would. But why would the person most likely to benefit from
involving the courts (usually the woman) settle for less than all she could
get? Why work it out if you can get more from not working it out?

I don't want them to raise the amount, in fact, I don't even want his
money. I know in the end, he will be on his death bed and have a
lifetime of regrets. I think it has more to do with revenge and hurt
feelings rather than what is important, which is the child.

It is nice that you feel that way. But there are far too many who do not
feel that way at all.

I am so

glad that my mom and dad taught me the value of a days worth of work,
because from what I have been reading, a lot of the NCP are mad
because the CP won't work and do thier share.

I could introduce you to a few--and they are adamant that they should be
supported by the NCP because, after all, they have the arduous task of
raising the child.

I'm not saying that all of the CP are in it for revenge, but I can see
why a lot of these NCP are feeling that they are getting ripped off.
If everyone would put the child above all, where would they all stand?

Those are the cases you do not see in court. It only takes one to create a
disagreement. And if you will get more for disagreeing, why agree?

I'm not trying to say I'm better than the next person, but a parent
needs to work in order to show thier children how to make a living.
How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I
don't teach him?

Didn't you say you are married? Isn't his stepfather helping with that
task?

If the CP doesn't work, then child support should not be granted to
them. If the CP does hold down a job, and is paying thier share of the
childs financial responsibility, then the NCP should pay the child
support.

If the CP doesn't work, the child should go to the NCP.



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My husband does help out, but I want to be involved in all aspects of
my son's life. I am his mother, he lived under my heart for 43 weeks.
I handle the study time, homework time, fun time, and all of the
discipline. I also work full time (70 hrs a week), and install cable
on my day off on Saturday morning's. When it comes to my son I am the
alpha dog, not my husband. We do thing a certain way in the household.
We both work, and buy groceries. I do not allow my husband to pay
child care for my son, or cloths. When we go out to a resturant, and
he is treating that is O.K, but I'm not going to slack off just
because there are two incomes now. I did it all on my ownbefore he
came along, and should he leave, I'll still be down to do it all on my
own, because I take care of my blood, of my kin.
I have pride in my child, and should I have to work my fingers to the
bone, you best know my son will be taken care of. The people who make
the comments saying that women will never be equal to men, well I must
say, speaking for myself, I have surpassed any man that thinks he can
do what I do. I don't need to be equal, I just need to be and do me.

On Oct 9, 2:48 am, "Chris" wrote:
"teachrmama" wrote in message

...







"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 8, 9:33 am, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in
oglegroups.com...

snip for length

I gave options of what to do if one institution fails. I am sorry you
are too much of a moron to comprehend what was written.

Take a step back, and please don't throw the word moron around so
easily.
Several of the posters you are communicating with are no longer even in
the
child support system. Their children are grown and gone from home--and
they
did everything you suggested and more during the decades they were
caught
up
in the system--to no avail. It sounds good on paper--but it does not
work
in reality because of how the family court system is set up. You sound
very
idealistic right now. It would be nice if things really worked that
way--but they don't.

If both of the parents would communicate with each other BEFORE
getting the courts involved, there would be less need for the CSEA,
and judges to be involved. I notice a lot of bad mouthing on BOTH
sides going on. Wouldn't it be easier for both parties to get together
and work something out?

Sure it would. But why would the person most likely to benefit from
involving the courts (usually the woman) settle for less than all she
could
get? Why work it out if you can get more from not working it out?

I don't want them to raise the amount, in fact, I don't even want his
money. I know in the end, he will be on his death bed and have a
lifetime of regrets. I think it has more to do with revenge and hurt
feelings rather than what is important, which is the child.

It is nice that you feel that way. But there are far too many who do not
feel that way at all.

I am so
glad that my mom and dad taught me the value of a days worth of work,
because from what I have been reading, a lot of the NCP are mad
because the CP won't work and do thier share.

I could introduce you to a few--and they are adamant that they should be
supported by the NCP because, after all, they have the arduous task of
raising the child.

I'm not saying that all of the CP are in it for revenge, but I can see
why a lot of these NCP are feeling that they are getting ripped off.
If everyone would put the child above all, where would they all stand?

Those are the cases you do not see in court. It only takes one to create
a
disagreement. And if you will get more for disagreeing, why agree?

I'm not trying to say I'm better than the next person, but a parent
needs to work in order to show thier children how to make a living.
How will my son know how to be a man, and take responsibility if I
don't teach him?

Didn't you say you are married? Isn't his stepfather helping with that
task?

If the CP doesn't work, then child support should not be granted to
them. If the CP does hold down a job, and is paying thier share of the
childs financial responsibility, then the NCP should pay the child
support.

If the CP doesn't work, the child should go to the NCP.

Whether the CP works or not is irrelevant. The child should EQUALLY be with
the CP (code acronym for "mother) and the NCP (code acronym for "father).
But can't have that, because then it would be
................................. FAIR.



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My brother is a CP, so do not say CP is mother, that is not correct.
His kids mom took him for child support, but he was able to prove he
was a far more fit arent in thier case. Are you saying that the CP is
always a woman, because that is a woman-hater comment.
If these women are so bad as you all say, why can't it be proven in
the courts?

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
ups.com...
On Oct 8, 9:21 pm, "Gini" wrote:
"teachrmama" wrote

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote
"Gini" wrote:
"Bob Whiteside" wrote

....................................



But maybe if I write a letter to the judicial fitness board they
will
do
something about it. :-)

==
Bob, let me know if you want me to write one, too. I'll bet TM and
the
rest
won't mind writing a letter, either. Maybe you'll
even get your money back with interest --as soon as they realize they
were
wrong, that is. Oh yeah, maybe you
guys could write a letter to the FL judge who didn't give us credit
for
the
$7,000. we paid the ex directly--they
mistakenly called that money a gift. That would be fantastic! We
could
get
that room addition we've been saving for.
Wish I'd known about this lettter writing thing a long time ago. Live
and
learn, I guess.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

The law clearly states that if you pay money directly to the CP it is
considered a gift, unless you were married, then the check memo must
state CHILD SUPPORT.

==
(Piggybacking--sorry TM, I have her killfiled.)

Where do you get this stuff? What "law...clearly states this?" I'm sure
you
can provide a citation,
since it is so clear? In fact, jurisdictions differ on this and in many
cases. it is a matter of judicial discretion.
FYI, my husband was married to the ex. The child support was
established
in the divorce decree outside
CSE. The "check memo" can state anything the payor desires. That has no
legal effect on a judges characterization of the money.
In our case, the judge stated that unless you can tell me precisely what
the
money was to be used for
ie..child A's shoes and school supplies, I'm gonna call it a gift. If you
don't like it, file an appeal. So, I will
now be waiting for your citation of the clearly stated law.- Hide quoted
text -

- Show quoted text -

You can wait.. I don't like you because of your comment about me
earlier. I'm sorry your husband is "forced" to take care if his own
blood. Gee, that must make life so hard for you. Can't but that Tommy
bag because of you husband's kids. Get a job.

That was really a very rude comment. You *are* incorrect about so many of
your assumptions about the system. The law does not say the things that you
seem to think it says. Do you really think that everyone who objects to the
CS system is just looking for a way to get out of supporting their own
children?

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Oct 8, 11:53 pm, "teachrmama" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in
glegroups.com...





On Oct 8, 12:35 pm, "DB" wrote:
"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

I think a lot of NCP's whith all this child support drama could make
thier lives a lot better if they tried to work out some type of
arrangement with the CP.

I thought we had an agreement, I was told to come to court in 2 months
and
have $2500 in cash and prepare to sign an agreement to garnish my
wages
for
$823 per month.
I don't have that kind of money, but I did manage to borrow money from
Friends and family.

When I got there, i was told that she now wants $4000.

You can guess what I told the judge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you are imbelishing it a little bit. If you were told to come
in at a certain date, and pay a certain amount, it should have been
stated on the scheduling papers. Point is, you keep being nasty toward
me, and I'm just trying to give you some advice to get the CS system
to treat you in a fairer manner. You don't seem to want advice, you
just seem to want something to complain about. Like I said, the energy
you spend complaining and trying to down me, you could be using to
draft a petition, write a letter to the Federal CSEA. Stop hating, and
start doing.

But my question for you is: Upon what experience do you base your
advice?
Is it something you have gone through as a noncustodial parent? Do you
know
a noncustodial parent who has experienced soem of what is complained
about
by some of the people here? Is it from what you have read or is it based
on
assumptions you have made about what you consider to be fair and right?
Where do you get your advice? And why do you so easily discount the
experiences that people here share?



- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I get my advice from the fact that my ex boyfriend (before I got
married) had a child support case, and was the NCP. They were battling
for a hot min, but in the end, there are state guidelines, and the
judge can not put an obligation higher than the state maximum. He was
just mad because he didn't want to pay anything, so I left him.

And there are defiitely people who try to avoid any responsibility for their
actions. But just because your ex boyfriend wat that way does not mean that
everyone here is, or that there are no justifiable complaints. I'll give
you some examples that I know to be true:

Wife leaves man and 1 yr old daughter, runs off with another guy. Dad files
for custody. Mom returns a year later and wants kid back. Court order mom
48% custody, dad 52%. Dad is ordered to pay $400 per month in child
support, even though both parents make the same amount of money. They say
that dad can work overtime during the time he does not have the child. This
is a TRUE situation!! Over the years, mom has worked less and less. She
now does not work at all, and is taking dad back to court for an increase in
CS, since she does not work.

Man notices that his paycheck is being garnished for child support--he and
his wife call to find out why. A wman is claiming that he fathered her 9
year old daughter--and he has been found to be the father because he did not
respons to a notice in the newspaper published in a newpaper in a town that
he hasn't lived in for over 2 years. He files a document asking for proof
of paternity--discovers that the arrearages they have against him are over
$80,000--for a child he knew nothing about! He gets his blood drawn--the
woman, who now lives in another state, refuses. The case drags on for over
a year, and is finally dismissed. 2-1/2 years later, the state where she
lives demands CS--and this time she takes the test. Child is his--and is
almost 13. Fortunately for the father, laws have changed, and they can only
charge arrearages back 2 years from proof of paternity, so he is only
charged $20K (with penalties and interest) Otherwise it would have been
over $100,000!! Man's credit is trashed.

Man makes $5000/month, is charged $1000 in child support +$450 for child
care +$250 for health insurance.That's $1600/month. Job is sent
overseas--he and all the other folks with the same job--scramble to find
work. But he can only find a job paying $3200 per month--and that is a
lucky find! Judge refuses to grant a modification because "You made that
much before, so I know you can do it again. There are similar jobs out
there--find one!" Of course, those jobs are being held onto tightly by
those who have them, because they are scarce now. So the man is SOL, paying
over half his take-home in CS.

I could give you other examples, and so could others here. Your ex
boyfriend's attitude does NOT define the issue, but is only one small part
of it.

What
kind of man doesn't want to help support thier kin? I am discounting a
lot of things because there are things these people can do to get
aomething "fair", but it seems that what is fair by the
stateguidelines are not fair to them. When I try to give some
advice.... Well you can feel the sarcasim in the responses.

My dear, do you not understand that everything you have suggested has been
tried? And not just once, but time and time again. You are laboring under
the delusion that the system was created to be fair to all concerned. It
wasn't!! If my husband lost his job, we aould all tighten out belts and get
through it--our 2 girls would do with a lot less for a while. But a
custodial mother doesn't have to tighten her belt, because that CS will keep
flowing no matter what. It's a very rigid system designed to MAKE SURE
money gets there, despite the real exigencies of life!

That is
not the way people that are being treated unfairly behave. A person
that was truely being done unjustly would have accepted advice, tried
it, and then reported what progress was made. I'm sorry, but it seems
some of these people are here just to gripe because they have to take
care of thier own.

As I have stated, all this and more HAS been done. You are far too
idealistic in this area. Truly.

"child support owed by deadbeats" wrote in

Are you saying that the CP is always a woman, because that is a
woman-hater comment.

Thank you for the chuckle!

If these women are so bad as you all say, why can't it be proven in
the courts?

Family Kourt is not the same as real criminal court!!!!!!!!!!1