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Should Father's Day be banned in schools?



 
 
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Old June 13th 09, 05:40 PM posted to alt.child-support
Dusty
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Default Should Father's Day be banned in schools?

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5...public-schools

Should Father's Day be banned in schools?
June 9, 12:48 AM

A British newspaper reports that thousands of Scottish students were not
permitted to make Father's Day cards at school this year, for fear of
offending students who live with single mothers or lesbians. Local
authorities defended the policy stating that teachers need to be sensitive
to "the changing pattern of family life." It is interesting to note that
students are still allowed to make Mother's Day cards at school.

Jennifer Wolf, About.com's Single Parent Guide, recently blogged about her
young daughter bringing home a stack of reading books that included a book
called "My Dad". Wolf said that she considered the book insensitive to
students who don't live with their fathers or even know him. Several
commenters agreed with her and 72% of people who responded to her poll
indicated that yes, schools need to be sensitive to students whose life
experiences do not include a father.

I have no problem with teachers being sensitive, but I think this is
overkill. Father's Day is just as important to children who don't have a dad
in the home as it is to those who do. Even if a father is not as involved in
his children's lives as he should be (for whatever reason), Father's Day is
still an opportunity for the children to recognize him for what he does do.
If the father is completely absent (again, for whatever reason), it is a
bittersweet opportunity to talk about the man who helped to bring the
children into the world and what it really means to be a dad...not just a
father. For boys, it is an opportunity to open a dialog about the importance
of fathers and help the young men aspire to be good fathers. For girls, it
is an opportunity to talk about the importance of fathers and the qualities
the girls want to look for in a future partner.

Regarding taking all references to traditional nuclear families out of the
curriculum, I don't even see how that's possible, but I certainly don't
think it's advisable. Children, especially those raised in non-traditional
families, need to see images of families where both parents are happy and
involved. Boys and girls alike need to grow up with an understanding that
both parents are valuable.

I am a single mother raising two young boys on my own. Their father comes
and goes but as a general rule he is not nearly as involved as I would like
him to be. For me, that makes it that much more important to talk to my boys
about good fathers and show them examples of good fathers in books and
movies and real life. Even as young as they are, they already express
frustration and sadness about some of the choices that their father makes so
I think it's vital to be open with them and give them the opportunity to
talk about the kind of father they want to be when they grow up.

For Christmas a few years ago, my boys got the book I Love My Daddy Because
.... It's a beautiful book for toddlers and preschoolers about all the things
that fathers do to show their love for their families. After my ex-husband
and I separated, that book disappeared for a while. The first time the boys
brought it out, my heart skipped a beat. I was still dealing with the
emotional roller-coaster of the divorce and I wasn't sure how any of us
would handle reading that story with Daddy gone. It broke my heart when
halfway through the book, my 2-year old looked confused and said "Daddy not
do that...Mommy do that." I bit my lip to keep from crying and finished the
book as quickly as I could that night. Since then, when the boys bring out
that book, I use it as an opportunity to talk about the good memories they
have from when Daddy did live with us, things that Daddy does with them when
he visits, and things that they want to do with their children when they
grow up. These days I actually enjoy reading that book with them and I think
it's good for them.

I do believe that teachers need to be sensitive to students who are
struggling with difficult times at home. If there's a child who is hesitant
to make a Father's Day card for whatever reason, the teacher can suggest
that the child make a card or gift for someone else. Perhaps it can even
open a dialogue about different family structures. It doesn't have to be a
big deal. Ignoring Father's Day altogether tells all the children (whether
they have a father in the home or not) that honoring fathers is not
important and fathers are not as valuable as mothers.

 




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