"choosing" gifts for kids

Marie wrote:

I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.

While it certainly isn't *mandatory* I think most people get it because they
think the kids will like it. I played with Barbie's for hours and hours and
years and years as a little girl. You can add on to your collection and it
never gets old. If it wasn't for Usenet I'd have no idea that there were so
many anti-Barbie people out there.

Now I'll agree it is not cool to get the stuff after a parent specifically
says no, regardless of the silly logic gdr


--
Nikki

"Circe" wrote in message
news:rdvPc.7350$go.4706@fed1read07...
ted wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say
in the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small
book as a present"?

No, it is not appropriate. It is not appropriate to say anything about
presents in the invitation. As Sophie suggested, you can make
recommendations during RSVP calls, but only if asked. Presents are gifts,
however, voluntarily given, and as such, it is not polite to limit or
constrain the giver.


I second this.

In fact I would love to say "please donot bring
anything related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally
I detest barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s)
like barbie stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't
want them to be either.

I advise getting over this. Your children are not you and, as such, they
will have different likes and dislikes than you have. If your daughter
likes
Barbies and/or pink, frilly things, that's *her* choice, not yours. (And
rest assured, most of these childhood likes/dislikes are typically phases,
anyway. I loved playing with Barbies as a child, but I'm about the least
girly, pink and frilly person on the planet.)


I second this, too.

The above was partly brought to you by a conversation I had with a friend
yesterday. Her husband and her son (19yo) are at loggerheads because the
son
has chosen to attend a Christian church (parents are
Unitarian-Universalists). It breaks my heart to see parents get into
fights
with their children because their children do what they are supposed to do
and grow up to be free-thinking individuals who are capable of making
their
own choices.

I second this, too.


You sure did not leave me much to say.

"Marnie" wrote in message
news:uuvPc.235965$XM6.171565@attbi_s53...

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

What is it with well-meaning people and Barbie cakes? Is it simply because
they *can* make a cake with a doll in it that they feel they *must*?


I think it is a bit rude to insist that you are going to make someone else's
kid's birthday cake. Perhaps the Mom would like to do this herself?

ted wrote:
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party?

No. If they ask you can share areas of interest.

If you are stressed about gifts you don't approve of then I wouldn't have a
birthday party. I'd have some other kind of event where people wouldn't
bring a gift.

I can't think of any kind of toy I'd be stressed about, even though there
are things I wouldn't buy or encourage on purpose.

--
Nikki

Peggy wrote:
Some might think this is tacky, but check into birthday gift
registries (I think Wal*Mart has one) and put in the invitation
something to the effect of "child is registered at Wal*Mart."

Mentioning anything about registries in an invitation is a major etiquette
no-no.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

"glunk" wrote in message
...

"Marnie" wrote in message
news:uuvPc.235965$XM6.171565@attbi_s53...

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

What is it with well-meaning people and Barbie cakes? Is it simply
because
they *can* make a cake with a doll in it that they feel they *must*?


I think it is a bit rude to insist that you are going to make someone
else's
kid's birthday cake. Perhaps the Mom would like to do this herself?


my mil does this all the time because she knows I like to buy a cake from
the store. But that is because I LIKE store bought cake I gave in and
she gets to do DH birthday cake but I like to buy the other ones. First
Year bonnie had a Cinderella Cake for her birthday and a cute andgel Cake
for her Baptism. Year 2 she had a Dora The Explorer cake for her birthday.

As for gifts I have told people close (parents, inlaws, close friends) my
preferances such as I dont like Care Bear Movies but the toys are fine.
Most of the people that I would expect to get a toy for my kids (not that I
expect it but it was the best word) have simular veiws as I do for the most
part. I must admit I have many friends that do not like Dragon Tales but I
think it is cute I also like teletubbies and a few other PBS shows.

Tori
--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04

In article , Peggy says...

"ted" wrote in message
. com...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

Some might think this is tacky, but check into birthday gift registries (I
think Wal*Mart has one) and put in the invitation something to the effect of
"child is registered at Wal*Mart."

Majorly tacky...

"ted" wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party?

No it's not appropriate to tell the buyer what to buy unless they ask for
suggestions. If you are limiting what your daughter plays with, it's
probably a better idea to not have a party so that there can be no mistakes
made on the gift.

In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

So you don't want your daughter to think for herself? She *is* going to you
know. If you're going to start forbiding things, she is probably going to
want it to spite you. Just because you aren't into frilly doesn't mean she
is isn't going to be. I'm not frilly girly girl and all my girls have gone
through the girly frilly phase. And having a Barbie doesn't mean they are
going to be frilly. I know my girls are not. They have good taste in clothes
so far, one is even into bugs. But, they do like to wear dresses and look
nice. You are setting yourself up for some huge troubles if you start
thinking for your daughter and wanting her to think like you. Just remember
Barbie isn't the evil creature adults make them out to be. When girls play
with them, they don't think of slutty things like adults do about them. They
play house with them or make up different things to act out with Barbie.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

ted wrote in message
om...
Is it appropriate to mention that you prefer/do not prefer certain
kinds of gifts in a birthday party? For example, is it okay to say in
the birthday invite something like "please bring only a small book as
a present"? In fact I would love to say "please donot bring anything
related to barbie" but I know that sounds off. Personally I detest
barbie dolls and I would be very disappointed if my kid(s) like barbie
stuff LOL. I'm not the pink and frilly kind and I don't want them to
be either.

I'd love to say this. I do mention regularly that I don't like Barbie so
parents who know me wouldn't usually get it. I did feel I'd been successful
at her 3rd party (3 months late!!) when she asked me if a "my little Pony"
was a Barbie! She does have a Barbie scooter, just because she was passed it
on second hand.
Personally I wouldn't mind a mention like a small book, because it's not a
large present and still gives you scope for choice. Asking for presents
either with little choice or expensive would be irritating for me.
If you think that several people will bring Barbie (and that's the only
thing you'd object to) saying "please, no Barbie" would be fine by me.
Adding more than that would look somewhat fussy.
Debbie


This is somewhat related to the other thread about girls' clothes but
I didn't want to cannibalize that thread. I don't know why people just
assume that if it's a little girl's birthday, they must buy
barbie-stuff as a present. Not to mention this friend who's insisting
that she'll bake a big barbie cake for my DD's birthday! That's still
several months away though!

Thanks.

In article 1fvPc.7351$go.1989@fed1read07, Circe says...

Marie wrote:
I have no idea why people think Barbie is mandantory for
girls.

Maybe because the typical 4-6yo girl likes them and they're not exactly the
spawn of the devil?

LOL!

Hear hear. With birthday parties I do sympathize with the sheer amount of STUFF
that it leads to, but, if one has strong socio-political-taste objections
regarding kids' toys, one has to either set those aside, be prepared to intecede
(at home after the party), or just not have a birthday party.

And Barbies are not the spawn of the devil. (Oh NO Banty doncha know they're a
plot by the International Association of Anorexics looking for a steady stream
of recruits!)

This goes for boys-guns, etc. etc.

Banty