Good news, strange news, go figure

Well, it's been a long, difficult week.

I started spotting again (3rd time this pg) last weekend. Knew I was getting
toward the end of the "12 week" coverage period for rhogam from the last
pg... so I had to test my backup systems. Interestingly, the part I was
scared to death about turned out better than fine, but the part I was sure
about failed me completely.

I called my midwife to ask if she had an easy way for me to get a rhogam
shot and a brief ultrasound (Ilse, I totally believe the PTSD thing because
the spotting was starting to cause flashbacks and nightmares...) She
recommended I go to the partner of the doctor who yelled at me last time
when I was miscarrying. I was NOT happy about the idea. Then she suggested
that maybe I should take a doula with me as advocate. This was strange for
me because a) I've been a doula, b)my mother is usually my advocate and c)
my husband is a lawyer. Between the two of them I'm generally covered. I
couldn't imagine bringing yet another person, unknown at that, into the mix
during a time when I was totally stressed. I *hate* interviewing providers,
it's stressful under the best of circumstances and these WERE NOT the best
of circumstances. I couldn't convey this to her and finally took the names
of the people she was suggesting and we ended the call. She was going off
call the next day, so when it took more than 24 hours to get the appointment
set up (I tried every other option first, and ended up having to make an
appointment with the doctor I most did not want to see because his partner
was on vacation) I didn't call her back because I didn't want to bother her
while she was off call. She was just concerned that my husband wouldn't be a
good advocate for me and I just started getting the impression that she
didn't like him. I decided to let that go for now and deal with what I had
to deal with.

The dr. visit was *outstanding*. They wanted to do a full trans-vag
ultrasound with nuchal scan, etc. I said, "No, do it abdominally, see if
there's a heartbeat and an obvious reason for the bleeding and keep it
short." They wanted to do the nuchal and check my ovaries, I said fine to
the ovaries and "no" to the nuchal. The tech was okay with that and did a
5-7 minute scan tops, abdominally, found the heartbeat right away, placenta
looked great, no obvious cause of bleeding, and baby was moving around and
looked exactly the right size for 11 weeks. I went to another room, not an
exam room, and the doc came in, answered questions, went over my medical
history, gave the obligatory, "With FVL you should be on Lovenox" speech and
did not press once I gave my obligatory, "I won't do lovenox unless there's
a specific problem," speech. He agreed that I needed Rhogam, wanted a titre,
which was alright with me, and that was it. He was polite, willing to send
me a copy of my records, said that Singulair is fine for pregnancy, and
basically I got exactly what I was looking for and no more no less. The
ultrasound photo is at http://www.jenrose.com/revbaby.jpg

The next day, when I checked my email, I got a note from the midwife, firing
me. Because my husband was not comfortable with the fact that there was no
privacy in our initial interview (people walking through all the time) and
he mentioned this (politely), she was offended, apparently, and because "my
history of adversarial relationships with caregivers raised a red flag for
her" ????? and because she thought that if I had respect for medical
therapies I ought to have respect for the therapists and be willing to do
what I need to to make them comfortable treating me (Um, hello...that's what
having a backup midwife was about for me) she didn't feel comfortable
continuing.

I am surprisingly *less* upset about not having her as my midwife than I am
about how she went about severing the relationship. 80% of my reason for
*wanting* a midwife for backup is so that if my husband needs support, he
knows who to call! So a midwife who doesn't respect or like him isn't going
to work, period.

The bright side of this is that my hubby said, "Well, I think a major reason
for having the midwife is to make the backup OB comfortable. I'd be more
likely to call your mother, anyway."

The only thing I'm worried about at this point is if she sends a note to the
doc saying I'm no longer her client then he may get hot under the collar
about things. That would *really* create problems.

But baby is fine, and yes, what I've been feeling for almost 3 weeks *is*
movement... I swear that the baby is playing my right round ligament like a
guitar--I think it kicks *right* at the spot where the ligament attaches,
and it sort of gives a gentle "twang" to the whole ligament, which makes it
feel like I've got a fairy dancing on the inside of my right hip if I'm
lying at the right angle.

Jenrose

Jenrose wrote:

Well, it's been a long, difficult week.

I started spotting again (3rd time this pg) last weekend. Knew I was getting

I had spotting 3 times, too. The third started around 12 weeks and went
on for I think a week.

The dr. visit was *outstanding*. They wanted to do a full trans-vag

Cool!

The next day, when I checked my email, I got a note from the midwife, firing
me. Because my husband was not comfortable with the fact that there was no

Weird! I didn't know midwives would do that! ;-) They're willing to
work with *me*... I guess you had a touchy one. There's a touchy one
at my midwife's practice, too, and I think they know that she and I
would be a bad match. I've got two backup midwives and I get along with
them really well. The touchy one is *never* there when I'm there.

knows who to call! So a midwife who doesn't respect or like him isn't going
to work, period.

I would feel the same way. I would actually be offended about something
like that (call it being protective of those I love).

I hope you don't have trouble sticking with the OB. Good luck!

On Sun, 15 Aug 2004 16:43:13 -0700, Jenrose wrote:

I've got a fairy dancing on the inside of my right hip if I'm lying at
the right angle.

Like the way you put that one! I'm glad you are fine. It must have been
freaky to start spotting again just when you were thinking to be moving
into the 'safe' zone. Be well!

--
-- I
mommy to DS (July '02)
mommy to three tiny angels (28 Oct'03, 17 Feb'04 & 20 May'04)
guardian of DH (33)