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More than one child



 
 
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  #1  
Old July 29th 04, 03:53 PM
Shelley
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Default More than one child

OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child
- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.
- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys
- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child
- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.

Thanks,
Shelley
mom to Jacob (2.5)
edd march 30/05
  #2  
Old July 29th 04, 04:08 PM
Ericka Kammerer
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Default More than one child

Shelley wrote:

OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.


It's different for different people (and different kids).
Some people find going from 1-2 hardest. Others find going from
0-1 hardest. Personally, I found 1-2 harder because we didn't
change our lifestyle much with just one child. Having a second
meant a more significant lifestyle change, especially since
my second was very active. Still, it wasn't *that* big a deal.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


This has never been a problem for us. I wouldn't
anticipate a problem unless they were sharing a room.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


This depends a great deal on the age difference,
temperaments of the children, and family dynamics. Under
normal circumstances, I don't think there's any reason to
anticipate serious trouble as long as you respect the
firstborn's need for continued time, affection, and support.

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


You have to keep the older kid's toys away from
the baby. Keep them in the child's room or other contained
space. Some people put the older child in a play yard
with the toys with little pieces.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


Books, special toys, talking, videos, etc. Actually,
though, that's never been a problem for me. My babies were
speedy eaters, so there wasn't that long for the older kid
to get into trouble. Just prepare in advance and you'll likely
be fine. You also have to be willing to stop nursing and
deal with any real issues that arise; otherwise, number one
will quickly realize he has you over a barrel while
nursing.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


With that age gap, I would think you could
just pop the baby in a carrier or stroller and have
Jacob walk along with you. You just have to keep
errands short enough and time them well so that you
don't have meltdowns. To be honest, I think you just
do it. It's not as easy or as quick as running errands
solo, but I don't think there's any magic to doing it
other than planning in advance so that you're not taking
hungry, cranky children out for too long.

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #3  
Old July 29th 04, 04:10 PM
Circe
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Default More than one child

Shelley wrote:
- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


IME, no, although my new babies never shared a room with the older child, so
that might be a factor.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for
helping with resentment issues for the older one.


This is very dependent on the two children involved. My experience was that
my older child(ren) were never angry at the new baby but they were sometimes
angry with *me* for not being able to do all the things I used to do for
them (esp. in the immediately postpartum and newborn period when I couldn't
carry or sit and snuggle with the older child as much as before).

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


When you figure this one out, let me know g! Seriously, we had to watch
like a hawk when Vernon reached the mobility/everything-in-the-mouth stage
because both his older siblings had lots of toys with small pieces. I tried
to relegate such toys to the older childrens' bedroom, but that didn't
really work very well because neither of my older kids wanted to play up
there when everyone else was downstairs.

One trick that I used with good effect when my second was at this stage was
to have my older child play with the toys in the playpen. This was also
useful when the older child was trying to build something complex only to
have the baby/toddler repeatedly destroy it. This didn't work after #3 came
along because both #1 and #2 would have wanted to use the playpen at the
same time and they both wouldn't fit any more!

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding
younger child


With my first two, this wasn't a big issue because I was tandem nursing.
With #3, it wasn't too much of a problem because #2 could be occupied by
playing with #1. I did sometimes have the older child sit next to me and
read a book to him/her while I nursed the baby, though.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Not really. Just try to be sure both are well-rested and well-fed before
heading out.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 5), and the Rising Son (Julian, 7)

This week's suggested Bush/Cheney campaign bumper sticker:
"Leave no child a dime."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman


  #4  
Old July 29th 04, 05:12 PM
Sophie
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Posts: n/a
Default More than one child

OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.


Personally I found going from 1 to 2 the hardest, but my gap was only 16
months.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


Not for us and the baby has always shared with a sibling. We pick the
sibling who will sleep through it to share a room (so far that's always been
child #1).

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


We've never had resentment issues. #1 was too young I think when #2 was
born to be jealous or have any problems. It's also important how you present
a new baby.

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


Make the older child keep the toys away, where the baby can't reach, only
get them out when baby is napping.


- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


I didn't breastfeed but when I fed the baby the older child always liked to
look at a book while I fed the baby. #1 did it when I fed #2, and #3 does
it when I feed #4.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


A Baby Bjorn or some kind of carrier/sling for the baby. That way you have
your hands free. It's a lot easier than you think it will be. Also start
watching moms with 2 kids now and see how they do it. I was worried about
taking 3 out but through watching moms of 3, I got ideas.

My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.

Thanks,
Shelley
mom to Jacob (2.5)
edd march 30/05


Sorry, our biggest gap is now - 2.5 yrs between #3 and #4.


  #5  
Old July 29th 04, 05:25 PM
Nikki
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Default More than one child

Shelley wrote:

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


Not for mine and they were in the same room.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


We didn't have a problem. We continued to give #1 what he needed as much as
we could. We included him in everything. He met us at the hospital and the
baby was nursing when he walked in. I let him hold the baby nearly every
time he asked. We talked about his baby brother a lot. We set up all the
baby things 6 weeks before the baby came.

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


This wasn't a problem really but they are only 24 months apart.


- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


*Very* child proofed house so that the toddler was safe, cuddled the
toddler next to me while the baby was eating, read to the toddler. I would
have used TV but the toddler wasn't interested.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


Try to time it when no one is tired and hungry and only do 2 at a time.
More then that and mine melt down.

Honestly it wasn't to big of a problem for me. I find the arguing and
bickering harder to deal with now that they are older.
--
Nikki


  #6  
Old July 29th 04, 05:37 PM
Hillary Israeli
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Posts: n/a
Default More than one child

In ,
Shelley wrote:

*OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I

IMO not much. Zero to one kid was a HUGE life-shattering adjustment. One
to two? Hah. Piece of cake.

*- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child

Nope. Never did mine. My kids are in rooms across the hall from each
other. There is a bathroom in between their rooms.

*- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
*with resentment issues for the older one.

Mine was 2 yrs 1.5 mos when his sister was born. He loved her from day
one, but was royally ****ed at me for a couple of months

*- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
*toys

Supervision.

*- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
*child

I let him share my lap with the baby, I let him play with his Leap Pad, I
read him books while nursing the baby, I sent him on errands to bring me
water or bring the baby a toy....

*- Any techniques for taking two children on errands

Um. Not sure about special techniques - just do it. A sling or other baby
carrier is most helpful

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large
  #7  
Old July 29th 04, 05:51 PM
Clisby
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Posts: n/a
Default More than one child



Shelley wrote:
OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.


Personally, I didn't find going from 1 to 2 children was particularly
hard - nothing like the difficulty in adjusting to having the first one.
However, my children are 5.5 years apart, so by the time #2 was born, #1
was in kindergarten all day, and could do a lot for herself. It wasn't
like having a toddler and a newborn.


- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


The burglar alarm going off has never wakened my older child. Neither
did the baby.

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


My daughter was furious with us, and despised her little brother, for
2-3 months. We waited it out - she got over it.


- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


We watched him really closely, and put extra effort into making sure my
daughter's stuff was put away regularly.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


Since mine was 5.5 when her brother was born, this didn't apply - she
was used to amusing herself by that point.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


I avoid taking children on errands whenever possible, but by the time I
had 2, my daughter was old enough not to be any trouble.

My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.


This is just my personal opinion: I would want to find a preschool or
mothers-morning-out drop-off program I could take him to a few mornings
a week, so I could have a little time alone with the new baby.

Clisby

Thanks,
Shelley
mom to Jacob (2.5)
edd march 30/05


  #8  
Old July 29th 04, 05:53 PM
Nan
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Default More than one child

On 29 Jul 2004 07:53:55 -0700, (Shelley) scribbled:

OK, give me the truth. How much different is two kids than one. I
know many people do it and seem to survive but I'd love to hear the
lowdown from you experienced moms of what to really expect. Some of
my concerns/questions may seem a bit trivial but I wonder anyway.

- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


Not at all, and baby sleeps in the crib next to my bed while my 4 yo
sleeps in my bed ;-)

- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


This varies from child to child, but my 4 yo no longer tells me we
need to take the baby back to the hospital! We made sure daddy paid
special attention to her while I nursed, and both daddy and I make
sure we give her alone time with us.

- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


We're planning to give the 4 yo her own play room for a while.

- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


If I was alone, I'd read to her, or she could play on the computer if
she wanted. If daddy was around, he'd play with her.

- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


I struggled at first, but we've found our stride. You will too :-)
What works for us is to put the baby's carseat/carrier in the cart
before getting the 4 yo out of the car. She does well with walking
next to my shopping cart.

Nan
--
"when the sun goes down we'll be groovin'
when the sun goes down we'll be feelin' alright,
when the sun sinks down over the water
everything gets hotter when the sun goes down"
~Kenny Chesney
  #9  
Old July 29th 04, 06:12 PM
Jane Thorpe
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Default More than one child

A lot of people find going from 1 to 2 is actually the hardest. I have to
admit I did. Mainly because your first born is used to being an only child
and having all of your attention. It gets easier though. I am expecting #
5 now so it couldn't have been that hard or it would have put me off

Hope the answers below help a little



- Does the new baby crying at night wake up older child


depends on whether they are sharing a room - I just found it best to get the
baby used to falling sleep despite noise in the house. Some children can
sleep through any noise - my son slept through his brother falling out of
the top bunk a few years back - lots of crying loudly and still he snored
away I have never found the baby disturbed my older children - but then
we co-slept so to be honest the bbay doesn't cry as much - I have never left
my babies to cry it out so it has never really been an issue - one of the
things I love about co-sleeping is that the baby doesn't really have a need
to cry because mommy and food is right there next to it.


- How does older child react to younger child. Any ideas for helping
with resentment issues for the older one.


Have the older chld involved as much as possible - have a gift from the new
baby for the older child after the birth - have the child come to the
hospital and bring the baby home with you - get someone else to carry the
baby inside and you hold the older childs hand. Say things like 'what a
lucky baby to have you as an older brother/ sister' - rather than 'aren't
you lucky to have a baby sister' and through the pregnancy say all the
things that babies can't do but the big sibling can - and remind them that
the baby will sleep and feed and cry and won't be able to play for a long
long time.


- When baby is mobile, how do you keep them safe from older childs
toys


Try to get older child to keep their small toys in their bedroom - tidy up
regularly - check the floor area near baby - hope for the best!


- What do you do to keep older child happy while breastfeeding younger
child


storytime, videos, snacktime, colouring or playdoh, cuddles, toys, - it
was never an issue with mine - they just continued playing etc while In
nursed.


- Any techniques for taking two children on errands


Use the type of car seat that clips onto a stroller easily so you don't have
to take baby in and out of the car seat. Find the best time of day for both
children - not too tired, not hungry etc. Don't try to get too many errands
done in one day.


My DS will be 3 years, 2 months with baby is born. Any thoughts you
could give me about your own experiences would be great.


good age gap - you know your child best - you know whether he will wnat to
help fetch diapers etc or whether he would prefer to be left with his toys.
Make any changes to DS's routine NOW rather than too close either side of
the birth. Get DS's daddy or another involved adult to spend more time with
your DS so he is not quite so attached to you - can help the jealousy. Read
books together about having a new baby in the family. Get him a doll to
care for while you care for baby.


  #10  
Old July 29th 04, 07:07 PM
Tori M.
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Default More than one child


- Any techniques for taking two children on errands



I have been known to go out with a friend that has 4 children full time and
a step child on weekends. With my daughter if we all go out that is 5 kids
all 5 and under and one 11 year old. If we just bring the youngest 3 we
have 3 under the age of 3. Her youngest son and my daughter get mistaken
for twins a lot Anyway There is no set game plan for taking them all out.
It depends on the temperment of the kids that day and the temperments of the
moms.
I would say start with the longest errand and then go to the shorter ones...
for instance go shopping for food first if you need to bring a cooler and
put the cold stuff in there and then work back to your house. That way if
they are cranky after stop #3 you dont have to figure out how to entertain a
cranky baby while shopping as fast as you can because as you may have
noticed the day your child is the crankiest is the day the cashier is having
the hardest time keeping the line moving.

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04


 




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