Feel guilty about stopping BF

Hi
I'm new to google groups and have spent the last half an hour reading
this breastfeeding newsgroup and now feel dreadful! I decided on
Wednesday last week to stop BF my 15mth-old after a particularly
fretful few days of teething. DD wanted comfort sucking all the time
and got so sore and fed up that i decided enough was enough. Since
stopping she has pulled at my top a couple of times but am just trying
to distract her which is working. But feel sad about stopping. Feel
like a bond has been broken and that i will never breastfeed her again.
Awful feeling. How have other people felt??
Also, when will boobs stop hurting? Has taken me a couple of days for
them to fill up but am unsure where it is all going to go?!! Am really
sore, and a bit worried that i might get mastitis (or is this something
that you get just in the early days of BF?)
Hope some of you can give me some good advice to make me feel better!

Yes, I believe you could get mastitis from abrupt weaning. You can try
pumping just a little to take the edge off, and put cabbage leaves in
your bra to help dry up.

Or, you could change your mind and let baby nurse again, perhaps
setting some limits if you find it is getting to be too much for you.

WRT weaning, after infancy, if you are hating and resenting bf, it can
be a good idea. But many of us have found that limiting rather than
weaning solves that problem and lets us nurse longer.

Doesn't sound like your baby is suffering too terribly--you'll know
best whether you should start up again.

Leslie

Teej wrote:
Hi
I'm new to google groups and have spent the last half an hour reading
this breastfeeding newsgroup and now feel dreadful! I decided on
Wednesday last week to stop BF my 15mth-old after a particularly
fretful few days of teething. DD wanted comfort sucking all the time
and got so sore and fed up that i decided enough was enough. Since
stopping she has pulled at my top a couple of times but am just trying
to distract her which is working. But feel sad about stopping. Feel
like a bond has been broken and that i will never breastfeed her again.
Awful feeling. How have other people felt??

I weaned my son when he was around 16 months, although in our case it
was something I'd worked up to gradually over time. I felt very
nostalgic at the time, and posted quite a bit of highly sentimental
stuff about it on this newsgroup in the days leading up to the Last
Nursing (you can google the group for 'final curtain' if you want to
read it). I think the fact that I'd planned it in advance made a big
difference to me - I felt nostalgic rather than sad. Bittersweet, I'd say.

It seemed like a major thing at the time. Now (four months later), when
I think about it at all, I think "Um, yeah, I weaned him. Cool. Nicely
done." It just isn't any sort of big deal to me any more.

Would you want to start nursing again if you could? It's quite possible
(though by no means definite) that she might start nursing again if you
offered now. If that isn't something you want to do, then maybe
thinking about that will clarify some of how you feel about weaning.

Also, when will boobs stop hurting? Has taken me a couple of days for
them to fill up but am unsure where it is all going to go?!! Am really
sore, and a bit worried that i might get mastitis (or is this something
that you get just in the early days of BF?)

It is a risk, yes. I'd definitely recommend expressing some milk to
stop them from getting too full (just enough to ease the pressure -
don't try to empty them, or your body will just get the message to keep
producing more milk). The milk does get reabsorbed over time, but if
your breasts are engorged it does put you at risk of mastitis.

Hope some of you can give me some good advice to make me feel better!

Probably pretty garbled advice in this case, since it's been a loooong
day at work. ;-)


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Thanks Sarah, you;ve made me feel better! Tried to express last night
to relieve some of the pressure but pump has given up the ghost!! Tried
hand-expressing - couldn;t get it right. Might see if i can hire a pump
as seems silly to buy a new one just to get me through this short
stage.
Off to shops to buy a cabbage!
TJ

Sarah Vaughan wrote:
Teej wrote:
Hi
I'm new to google groups and have spent the last half an hour reading
this breastfeeding newsgroup and now feel dreadful! I decided on
Wednesday last week to stop BF my 15mth-old after a particularly
fretful few days of teething. DD wanted comfort sucking all the time
and got so sore and fed up that i decided enough was enough. Since
stopping she has pulled at my top a couple of times but am just trying
to distract her which is working. But feel sad about stopping. Feel
like a bond has been broken and that i will never breastfeed her again.
Awful feeling. How have other people felt??

I weaned my son when he was around 16 months, although in our case it
was something I'd worked up to gradually over time. I felt very
nostalgic at the time, and posted quite a bit of highly sentimental
stuff about it on this newsgroup in the days leading up to the Last
Nursing (you can google the group for 'final curtain' if you want to
read it). I think the fact that I'd planned it in advance made a big
difference to me - I felt nostalgic rather than sad. Bittersweet, I'd say.

It seemed like a major thing at the time. Now (four months later), when
I think about it at all, I think "Um, yeah, I weaned him. Cool. Nicely
done." It just isn't any sort of big deal to me any more.

Would you want to start nursing again if you could? It's quite possible
(though by no means definite) that she might start nursing again if you
offered now. If that isn't something you want to do, then maybe
thinking about that will clarify some of how you feel about weaning.

Also, when will boobs stop hurting? Has taken me a couple of days for
them to fill up but am unsure where it is all going to go?!! Am really
sore, and a bit worried that i might get mastitis (or is this something
that you get just in the early days of BF?)

It is a risk, yes. I'd definitely recommend expressing some milk to
stop them from getting too full (just enough to ease the pressure -
don't try to empty them, or your body will just get the message to keep
producing more milk). The milk does get reabsorbed over time, but if
your breasts are engorged it does put you at risk of mastitis.

Hope some of you can give me some good advice to make me feel better!

Probably pretty garbled advice in this case, since it's been a loooong
day at work. ;-)


All the best,

Sarah
--
http://www.goodenoughmummy.typepad.com

"That which can be destroyed by the truth, should be" - P. C. Hodgell

Thanks Leslie. Am in two minds as to whether to start up again, but
think i will stick with it, deep down i feel that this is the right
thing to do. Heartbreaking though to see DD keep having a sneaky look
up my top though! Hopefully she will soon forget....
TJ
Leslie wrote:
Yes, I believe you could get mastitis from abrupt weaning. You can try
pumping just a little to take the edge off, and put cabbage leaves in
your bra to help dry up.

Or, you could change your mind and let baby nurse again, perhaps
setting some limits if you find it is getting to be too much for you.

WRT weaning, after infancy, if you are hating and resenting bf, it can
be a good idea. But many of us have found that limiting rather than
weaning solves that problem and lets us nurse longer.

Doesn't sound like your baby is suffering too terribly--you'll know
best whether you should start up again.

Leslie

The ideal for avoiding pain and mastitis in your
breasts is probably to nurse your child a few times:
maybe once a day for a few days, then once every
two days once or twice, then maybe stop. That
gradual cutting down is easiest on the breasts,
and perhaps also easiest on the child emotionally.
However, you might have to deal with a lot
of negotiation with the child -- i.e. she would probably
want to nurse a lot more often than you would be
willing to.

If you do decide to breastfeed a few more times,
you might find useful suggestions in my
article "Mother-led Weaning/Tantrums"
linked near the bottom of my parenting page
http://www.ncf.ca/~an588/par_home.html