How to explain? Looking for book recommendations

One quick P.S. I've only seen the book on Amazon, but *Changing Bodies,
Changing Lives* seems like it could be a good one for teens. It's
brought to you by the same folks who put out the book "Our Bodies, Our
Selves." My mom died before I was full into my teens, and a thoughtful
relative gave me OBOS (instant acronym!) as a gift. I was mortified to
receive it but still found myself referring to it years later.

beeswing

"Beth Gallagher" wrote in message
...

First off, I have no book recs and would be surprised if there were
such a
book.

On Amazon, I've seen picture books for children that discuss things such
as having a child having "two daddies" (way too basic) and, at the other
end of the spectrum, books for teens that discuss just about everything
about sex (way too detailed). I figured there was likely a book out
there somewhere in the middle. My husband heard an interview with an
author on NPR who'd written a book that sounded about perfect to him.
Unfortunately, he doesn't remember the date of the interview, the title
or author, or even which show it was on...if I had at least the latter,
I could write to the show at NPR.

Thanks for sharing your other thoughts. I appreciate the suggestions but
won't be addressing the issue further here.

beeswing

"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...

Maybe that's why she doesn't understand?

Yes, obviously. Do you have a book suggestion you'd like to offer that
will help us elaborate on this in a way that is comfortable for my child
and I? It would be helpful if it discussed more than hetrosexuality.
Thanks.

beeswing

x-no-archive: yes

I'm withdrawing from this thread. I don't have an interest in discussing
this particular issue in a public, archived forum. If anyone caught the
NPR interview I referred to and can remember the name of the book or its
author, I'd really appreciate it if you'd either email me or post it
here. Thanks.

beeswing

I apologize for the tone of this message. I should have sat on this one
a little longer before sending it.

Thanks.

beeswing


"Beeswing" wrote in message
...

"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...

Maybe that's why she doesn't understand?

Yes, obviously. Do you have a book suggestion you'd like to offer that
will help us elaborate on this in a way that is comfortable for my
child
and I? It would be helpful if it discussed more than hetrosexuality.
Thanks.

beeswing

In article ,
beeswing wrote:

I'm not looking to discuss in a public newsgroup what I have and haven't told
my daughter at this point or whether or not it's an age-appropriate level of
information in other people's eyes. We've followed her lead, and that's what's
important, at least to us. We are still following her lead, and now she's
needing a little more information. Since we are a book-oriented family, I was
hoping for a recommendation of a book that I might share with her that would
help a 9-year-old child understand the concept of sexuality...not just the
mechanics of sex. That's all.

It's been a while since I looked at this one:

It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health
by Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley (Illustrator)

but as I recall it does introduce the concept of sexuality in a way that
is accessible to pre-teens/teens, and also covers homosexuality. I
believe it also covers the mechanics of sex too.

It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families
by Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley (Illustrator) is more about the
mechanics of sex but may also delve into sexuality, attraction, etc.

IMO, you do need to clarify the difference between a romantic relation
and a loving friendship, whether homo- or heterosexual. It seems to me
that that is really your daughter's main confusion, but she is thinking
about homosexuality because of a really close female best friend, and
not making that distinction there. But it's probably not so much a
matter of confusion about homosexuality as a matter of confusion as to
the nature of romantic love and sexual attraction.

Good luck!
--Robyn

"Beeswing" wrote in message
...
x-no-archive: yes

I'm withdrawing from this thread. I don't have an interest in discussing
this particular issue in a public, archived forum. If anyone caught the
NPR interview I referred to and can remember the name of the book or its
author, I'd really appreciate it if you'd either email me or post it
here. Thanks.

beeswing


Here's a link with some good books -

http://www.armory.com/~web/gaybooks.html

In article ,
(beeswing) wrote:

meh wrote:

I'm not sure you need to be this involved: why not just a discussion
about the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship?
Surely you know people who have friends who are opposite sex, but don't
have a romantic involvement with each other -- they are friends, and may
love each other dearly, but are not romantically involved.

That *is* the problem: No matter how many times we talk about it, she doesn't
understand the difference between a romantic relationship and a friendship.
I'm
running out of ideas of how to explain.

You refer to your husband, so presumably she lives with an example of a
romantic relationship. Does that help at all, to talk about the kind of
relationship you have with someone you marry vs. someone you just like a
lot? Does she see you and your husband kiss, hold hands and otherwise
engage in physical signs of affection that you would NOT engage in with
a friend? (I know my kids do -- nothing dramatic, but definately stuff
that is beyond friendship.) Maybe talking about that a bit would help.

I'm not sure you'll be able to explain the difference without talking
about sex, or sexual attraction. It is probably something she isn't
experiencing yet, so you have to explain it as something that she'll
understand when she gets older.

I'd second the recommendation for "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives"; it
is the book we give 7th and 8th graders in our church's sexuality
education course (which includes things like same sex friendships, and
the difference between a romantic relationship and a friendship). She
may not be quite old enough for it yet, which is why I didn't mention it
in the first place.

I don't remember ever having a problem explaining the difference between
a friendship and a romance to my kids -- but maybe they were confused
and I just didn't realize it!

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Beeswing wrote:
My husband heard
an interview with an author on NPR who'd written a book that
sounded about perfect to him. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember
the date of the interview, the title or author, or even which show
it was on...if I had at least the latter, I could write to the show
at NPR.

Why not try doing a search on NPR's website or, even better, the specific
show's site. They usually have archives of past shows so you might well be
able to find the original interview and listen to it again online.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [2] mom)

In ,
Beeswing wrote:

*
*"Hillary Israeli" wrote in message
...
*
* Maybe that's why she doesn't understand?
*
*Yes, obviously. Do you have a book suggestion you'd like to offer that
*will help us elaborate on this in a way that is comfortable for my child
*and I? It would be helpful if it discussed more than hetrosexuality.
*Thanks.

Well, the suggestion I had, which you snipped, was Where did I come from.
I don't think it discusses sexuality outside of the hetero context, at
least the version I last read didn't that I recall, but it's a pretty good
book IMO.

--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large