etiquette question - graduation party

a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

--
Vicki. Married DH May, 1995. Ima shel Stubborn, born 11/99;
Chatty, born 5/02, and Snuggly, born 9/8/04.
Pregnant, breastfeeding or both since February 1999.

wrote in message
ups.com...
a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

Yeah, you probably have to bring a gift, at least in most parts of the US.

You might want to ask your neighbors, but I would be really surprised if the
answer is you don't have to bring a gift.

Jeff


--
Vicki. Married DH May, 1995. Ima shel Stubborn, born 11/99;
Chatty, born 5/02, and Snuggly, born 9/8/04.
Pregnant, breastfeeding or both since February 1999.

I know I'm not really part of this group so I'm sorry for jumping in
but I am a high school teacher and where I'm from a gift is expected
although it doesn't have to be expensive at all. I remember that one
teacher bought one towel and wash cloth for each of her students that
were going to college. I have given cards with $5 in them or a gift
certificate to the movies. Hope this helps.

In article . com,
" wrote:

a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

--
Vicki. Married DH May, 1995. Ima shel Stubborn, born 11/99;
Chatty, born 5/02, and Snuggly, born 9/8/04.
Pregnant, breastfeeding or both since February 1999.


Generally, at least a small token -- though the "traditional" graduation
gift is cash. If you know the graduate well and can select something
for her, go ahead -- but it isn't necessary to spend lots of $$.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Yes, usually money. New graduates need money more than anything.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

wrote in message
ups.com...
a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

--
Vicki. Married DH May, 1995. Ima shel Stubborn, born 11/99;
Chatty, born 5/02, and Snuggly, born 9/8/04.
Pregnant, breastfeeding or both since February 1999.

Hi --

I think that whether you give money or a tangible gift depends upon the
social circle where you live. In some circles, gifts of cash are
considered crass; in others cash is the preferred gift (replaced
somewhat by gift certificates in recent years).

When you RSVP, just ask the parents if there's something the graduate
might like as a gift. It may be that the parents or friends are
organizing a larger group gift from those who enquire.

Where *I* live, books, or gift certificates for books, are considered an
excellent and appropriate-to-the-occasion gift.

But in any event, small is fine. DOn't forget the congratulatory card!
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

wrote:

a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

Graduation gifts are not mandatory, but they are fairly
customary if you are close enough to choose to attend the party.
Something small (a book, etc.) is absolutely appropriate if you
don't want t spend an arm and a leg.

Best wishes,
Ericka

In article ,
(Beth Kevles) wrote:

Hi --

I think that whether you give money or a tangible gift depends upon the
social circle where you live. In some circles, gifts of cash are
considered crass; in others cash is the preferred gift (replaced
somewhat by gift certificates in recent years).

When you RSVP, just ask the parents if there's something the graduate
might like as a gift. It may be that the parents or friends are
organizing a larger group gift from those who enquire.

Where *I* live, books, or gift certificates for books, are considered an
excellent and appropriate-to-the-occasion gift.

But in any event, small is fine. DOn't forget the congratulatory card!
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

I just came back from a graduation party; the vast majority of gifts
were cash or gift certificates from places like Bed, Bath and Beyond or
Target.

I gave a gift (something to use in the dorm next year), in part because
the amount I was going to spend was relatively small ($10). Most of the
gift cards and cash gifts were over $25.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

yes...in many cases graduates are only allowed a limited of number of
attendees, but the grads send
out invites to everyone for the express purpose of receiving gifts. So, even
if you do not attend
the fact that you received an invite means you need to bring a gift (cash is
best) if you attend and If you
do not attend you should send a give (money, visa card ect)
I realize your talking about a party and not the actual ceremony, yet the
same etiquette applies.

jojo


wrote in message
ups.com...
a friend has invited me to a (high school) graduation party for her
daughter. is this the sort of affair to which one is essentially
required (by etiquette) to bring a gift? i have no clue!

--
Vicki. Married DH May, 1995. Ima shel Stubborn, born 11/99;
Chatty, born 5/02, and Snuggly, born 9/8/04.
Pregnant, breastfeeding or both since February 1999.

jojo wrote:

yes...in many cases graduates are only allowed a limited of number of
attendees, but the grads send
out invites to everyone for the express purpose of receiving gifts. So, even
if you do not attend
the fact that you received an invite means you need to bring a gift (cash is
best) if you attend and If you
do not attend you should send a give (money, visa card ect)
I realize your talking about a party and not the actual ceremony, yet the
same etiquette applies.

No, that is incorrect. There are certainly people who
*believe* that the receipt of an invitation necessistates a
gift, and there are certainly greedy grads who send out boatloads
of invitations in the hopes of raking in the loot, but there is
*NO* etiquette requirement that one give a graduation give,
*EVEN* if one attends the graduation or party. It is customary,
and one might feel a bit awkward if one attended without bringing
anything (though one shouldn't have to feel awkward, as it is
against the rules of etiquette for folks to open gifts during a
party where gifts are not mandatory and not everyone has brought
a gift), but it is not required by etiquette. What a crazy
world this would be if any Tom, Dick, or Harry could force you
to drain your bank account by sending you an invitation!!
There are NO adult parties other than showers where
gifts are mandatory. Weddings and graduations run a close
second, where gifts are customary if you attend, though not
absolutely required. If you do not attend, it is absolutely
fine with etiquette if you send nothing more than a congratulatory
letter, if that's what you prefer. The fact that there are greedy
grads or brides/grooms who would prefer otherwise does not
create an obligation on anyone else.

Best wishes,
Ericka