surprise baby

I have just found out that I was pregnant...........again. I currently have 2
children: 1 and 6. This baby is a BIG surprise to all of us. We had some
plans made and none of them currently involved having a 3rd child. How does
one cope with having a 'surprise baby'? I feel guilty because I know I should
be happy, but I'm not sure how to feel. Having a baby is a blessing but when
it is not planned it sure takes some getting used to. Any suggestions is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Angela Nelson wrote:

I have just found out that I was pregnant...........again. I currently have 2
children: 1 and 6. This baby is a BIG surprise to all of us. We had some
plans made and none of them currently involved having a 3rd child. How does
one cope with having a 'surprise baby'? I feel guilty because I know I should
be happy, but I'm not sure how to feel. Having a baby is a blessing but when
it is not planned it sure takes some getting used to. Any suggestions is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.
------------------------
Abortion. If you feel any less than overjoyed without a question,
then your child-to-be doesn't deserve the disinterest you'll give
them. End it before it hurts someone, namely your child, your marriage,
and your family and other children!!
Steve

No one know for sure why God planned for you to have another child...She
thought that this new life can bring to you..a little more joy...some
more love...more happier memories...twice the many grand children for
you to hug and kiss..when you are older. But for what ever the reason
God has planned for her or him...She choose two wonderful people like
yourselves to Love and nourish and cherish...See God has given you two
already and that was the test..the test to see if could take care of a
3rd child. I was a the eldest daughter of 4 girls and when my 2nd
sibling came..my mother wanted to go back to school to become a
nurse..and during her second year she became pregnant with my 3rd sister
heart broken my mother was.. knew this would prolong her career as a
nurse...But then she realized...She would have her whole life to be a
nurse and that is all she will have. For she realized she only has a
short time in her life to be a mother...and once that time in her life
has passed,she would once again have her career...My mother is 56 and
her children including myself are grown and have children of our own.
Our lives have taken us all through out the country...And we see mom
three times a year. But Mom and Dad (long since retired) have each
other, but she now has a career, for that is all besides being a wife
she has...oh please don't get me wrong...she belongs to the clubs and
has a few other hobbies..now she has no children to raise.and a lot more
time on her hands No more peanut butter sandwiches no more tea for the
tea party no more screaming up the stairs YOu kids get in to bed...Don't
make me come up there.. " Don't look at me that way...You are a gonna
get it young lady!~..No more shoe shopping no more back to school no
more kids underfoot at the super market No more crayons no more waiting
up late from a date. no more telling us to tone down the make-up the
skirt is way to high as she is pulling it down passed our knees. No more
making us pretty dress No more long nights her staying up with us when
one of us was sick.I miss my my mothers hand stroking my head as I fell
asleep, No more funny undescribable object from school to save..{like
and ash tray my sister made in 4th grade and none of my parents
smoked.}..I asked her a few years ago when I brought home her first
grand child..I asked her ' Do you regret having any of us,and not
starting your nursing career sooner?" and she said. "not a chance!" "
You kids where my life!~ Nothing in this worlds could ever take that
part of my life away from me...I was a good mom and I was happy. And I
am as happy today as I was 20 years ago. Mom finished school while she
was carrying my fourth sister...and when my youngest sister started 1rst
grade..mom started nursing Part time. She was always there for us and
she still is today. And although our lives have taken us all away from
her..She knows she has raise four strong independent loving
compassionate and successful girls out into the world. Did my parents
make sacrifices...They sure did. With four mouths to feed and feet to
shoe..it was hard... they went without for we have things we need. But
she took Gods 4 gifts to her and she made the best out of it and her I
am today writing with my new baby girl on my side,asleep..with my
career put on hold for a few years..because I for one have my whole life
decorating someone home or offices. But I only have but a short time to
watch my Son and daughter grow up...And although it has take me 10 years
to have my family, and the Doctors have advised me to have no more...I
am certainly not going to miss a thing..

Do not listen to somebody like Steve... Every body on this good earth
has the right to a life...We are all hear for a reason. The gift of Life
is very valuable. For everyone has a destiny. And who are we to stop
someone from making a mark into this world if is good or bad. We have no
right to take a life away before it is born and has a chance to change
the bad thing in this in this world. Abortion Steve is not the
answer..There are Married couples who have been waiting along time to
become parents and forever what reason they have,they simply can't have
their own children. Adoption is the solution... not abortion. We are not
God there is only One God... and God is the only one who can make a life
and take it away. From the moment that sperm penitrates the egg it is
alive a living being..transforming into a human being...from the very
first moment of life God breaths into it...he is there. and he is there,
when that life no longer lives.What right do you have telling a good
mother she already is... to do something so hanius..something if she did
would regret later in life and might break down into depression...You
would put a life sentence of guilt on her for the rest of her life. Do
you know how many woman suffer mental break downs and depression and
have committed suiside because they have been through an abortion
sometime in there life...something we are not told..there is a darker
side to abortion then you are lead on to believe. You just don't murder
an innocent life...you murder a piece of yourself. There was a study put
out in 1998 by the group of Phycologist at NYU the researched and found
out that more then half of the woman they studied who had abortion
suffer depression and have or attempted or thoughts of killing
themselves. 1/3rd they found to have other problems such as carrying for
them selves low self-esteem marital problems. etc....So why would you
want this good mother that is she already is..sentence her to this kind
of life. Steve you are a heartless *******, and should be a
shamed...Your poor mother, what if she had done this to you.

Smiley Face wrote:

No one know for sure why God planned for you to have another child
---------------
There weren't any ****ing "God" that "planned" any such thing, and
you don't get off telling the rest of us that YOU know "God's Will"
when the rest of us never heard any "God" say ANY ****ing thing!

Who the **** do you think YOU are? You don't have any SPECIAL
knowledge of "God's Will"!

You're the kind of smarmy ****-mouth who tells us that whatever
happens is "God's Will", like people getting sick and dying, and
like evil happening, and tragedy. Next you'll try to tell us that
we shouldn't be trying to cure disease, or battle evil people or
prevent tragedy, and you'll try to superstitiously drag us back to
the Middle Ages!!

A pregnancy for this family is one of the worst things that could
ever happen to them, and YOU want to pretend it was "God's Will"!
You ****ty Fundy bigots can jam THAT crap RIGHT UP your ass!

You don't REALLY know whether it's "God's Will" that she get pregnant,
and ruin her family life, her marriage, and her other two kids when
their parents separate, or whether it's "God's Will" that she get a
safe abortion and live happily ever after in return for being bright
enough to do so and not believe ****ty little assholes like YOU!!!

Unwanted pregnancy is the same as any other accidental injury, if you
don't want it you get it fixed medically and be damned glad we know
how to do so in this day and age!
Steve

"R. Steve Walz" wrote in message
...
Angela Nelson wrote:

I have just found out that I was pregnant...........again. I currently
have 2
children: 1 and 6. This baby is a BIG surprise to all of us. We had
some
plans made and none of them currently involved having a 3rd child. How
does
one cope with having a 'surprise baby'? I feel guilty because I know I
should
be happy, but I'm not sure how to feel. Having a baby is a blessing but
when
it is not planned it sure takes some getting used to. Any suggestions
is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.
------------------------
Abortion. If you feel any less than overjoyed without a question,
then your child-to-be doesn't deserve the disinterest you'll give
them. End it before it hurts someone, namely your child, your marriage,
and your family and other children!!
Steve

Walz, you sick *******! Any woman that would murder a child while it
slumbers in her womb is pure evil!

In article ,
(Angela Nelson) wrote:

I have just found out that I was pregnant...........again. I currently have 2
children: 1 and 6. This baby is a BIG surprise to all of us. We had some
plans made and none of them currently involved having a 3rd child. How does
one cope with having a 'surprise baby'? I feel guilty because I know I should
be happy, but I'm not sure how to feel. Having a baby is a blessing but when
it is not planned it sure takes some getting used to. Any suggestions is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.



the most important thing is not to discuss the 'surprise' aspect in the
hearing of your children -- or best not at all --

older kids don't want to hear that a baby is not welcome [and how they
interpret that is not necessarily what you intend] it makes them feel
less secure -- and if you make a joke of the surprise or complain about
it to relatives -- the 'surprise' him or herself will surely hear about
many many many times in their lives -- and no matter how they laugh --
it will always hurt to feel they weren't wanted

this is one of those moments where lots of rethinking and personal pep
talks are in order -- focus on how great it will be to have another
child and the joys of a larger family and how you will adapt and don't
dwell on the plans now gone by the wayside

In article ,
"R. Steve Walz" wrote:

Smiley Face wrote:

No one know for sure why God planned for you to have another child
---------------
There weren't any ****ing "God" that "planned" any such thing, and
you don't get off telling the rest of us that YOU know "God's Will"
when the rest of us never heard any "God" say ANY ****ing thing!

Who the **** do you think YOU are? You don't have any SPECIAL
knowledge of "God's Will"!

You're the kind of smarmy ****-mouth who tells us that whatever
happens is "God's Will", like people getting sick and dying, and
like evil happening, and tragedy. Next you'll try to tell us that
we shouldn't be trying to cure disease, or battle evil people or
prevent tragedy, and you'll try to superstitiously drag us back to
the Middle Ages!!

A pregnancy for this family is one of the worst things that could
ever happen to them, and YOU want to pretend it was "God's Will"!
You ****ty Fundy bigots can jam THAT crap RIGHT UP your ass!

You don't REALLY know whether it's "God's Will" that she get pregnant,
and ruin her family life, her marriage, and her other two kids when
their parents separate, or whether it's "God's Will" that she get a
safe abortion and live happily ever after in return for being bright
enough to do so and not believe ****ty little assholes like YOU!!!

Unwanted pregnancy is the same as any other accidental injury, if you
don't want it you get it fixed medically and be damned glad we know
how to do so in this day and age!
Steve

LOL and of course having THIS attitude will guarantee that everyone is
miserable and that the child grows up knowing s/he was unwanted and
unloved -- great advice

most people in the world arrive by surprise -- it is up to parents to
grow up and cope and welcome the children they create

In article ,
Jenn wrote:

In article ,
(Angela Nelson) wrote:

I have just found out that I was pregnant...........again. I currently
have 2
children: 1 and 6. This baby is a BIG surprise to all of us. We had some
plans made and none of them currently involved having a 3rd child. How
does
one cope with having a 'surprise baby'? I feel guilty because I know I
should
be happy, but I'm not sure how to feel. Having a baby is a blessing but
when
it is not planned it sure takes some getting used to. Any suggestions is
greatly appreciated. Thank you.



the most important thing is not to discuss the 'surprise' aspect in the
hearing of your children -- or best not at all --

older kids don't want to hear that a baby is not welcome [and how they
interpret that is not necessarily what you intend] it makes them feel
less secure -- and if you make a joke of the surprise or complain about
it to relatives -- the 'surprise' him or herself will surely hear about
many many many times in their lives -- and no matter how they laugh --
it will always hurt to feel they weren't wanted

this is one of those moments where lots of rethinking and personal pep
talks are in order -- focus on how great it will be to have another
child and the joys of a larger family and how you will adapt and don't
dwell on the plans now gone by the wayside

All of my kids were surprises, and they all know it. Certainly, the
second born of my twins knows that she was a surprise, as I didn't know
I was carrying twins until after her brother was born!

There is a difference between being a surprise and being unwelcome. I
think it's OK for my kids to know that none of them were the result of a
planned pregnancy. For one thing, I think it's important that they all
know just how unreliable birth control can be -- if my daughters have
inhereted my (and my mother's and sister's) tendencey towards being
extremely fertile, they need to know how often birth control fails!

However, they also know that they are not unwelcome -- even though the
pregnancies were surprises, I made a decision to continue them.

Heck *I* know I wasn't planned, and even that my mother's pregnancy must
have been a horrible surprise: not a lot of families are delighted when
their 15 yo shows up pregnant! I even know about the conversations
between my mother, her parents, my father, and the family doctor -- the
fact that ALL options were laid out, and that grandma and grandpa were
not delighted when Mom and Dad decided to get married. I have never
felt unwelcome, unwanted or a burden in any way. My parents have always
made it clear that, though I was a surprise, they DECIDED to have me and
raise me. I heard people say things to my dad about "having to" get
married -- he always said that he didn't have to get married -- he could
have left the way lots of men do. (And, since Dad was born in a home
for unwed mothers, he knew full well that men DO leave.) They CHOSE to
get married. (And the two of them have been married for over 52 years
now.)

And I think THAT is the key: yes, a pregnancy might be a surprise;
even, initially, an unwelcome surprise. It might come at an
inconvenient time, and add a burden to your family that you did not want
just now. And so you have options: you can terminate the pregnancy,
you can have the baby and give it up for adoption, or you can have the
baby and raise it. If you choose the later option -- than you have
chosen to have a baby, and the baby is wanted. When I got pregnant with
my oldest, it was genuinely lousy timeing, and it took me several weeks
to decide what to do. I remember sitting in the car one afternoon and
crying, because I felt like I OUGHT to terminate the prenancy, but knew,
suddenly, that I could not. Once i made that decision, however, we
never looked back. Eventually, we grew to like the idea -- and,
certainly to love the baby.

So that's my advice: think about all of your options. Go ahead and
rail against the universe (or whatever) for sending a pregnancy that is
unplanned. Then, if you decide that you are going to continue the
pregnancy, plant that knowledge deep within yourself: you may not have
chosen the pregnancy, but you did have options, and you chose to have
the baby.

meh
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Smiley Face wrote:

Do not listen to somebody like Steve... Every body on this good earth
has the right to a life...We are all hear for a reason. The gift of Life
is very valuable. For everyone has a destiny.

What should be done with women who murder their babies? Should you take a
picture of them and send it too one of the anti-abortion websites? I know
this girl that had one..

Hey, Check this out!!
http://www.armyofgod.com/BabySelect.html
I think it's sad.

You have to give Dubya credit for one thing, he did put an end to partial
birth abortion.