husbands have GOT to be worse than kids (warning: rant)

"Marie" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 28 Jul 2004 20:11:09 -0400, "newfy.1"
wrote:
Oh, sure! You girls are just bragging!

LMAO!
Well *my* dh gets holes in the knees of his jeans.
Marie

gasp!!! lol

JennP.

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message m...

a new pair of shoes for him? He has GOT to be worse than a kid!!!!! I
have asked him why he doesn't want new shoes, and he says that it's
because he just doesn't want to spend the money (so it's not a comfort
issue, like some people have with an old, worn in pair).

Quit with the power struggle already. He's your husband, not your kid.
That said, if you know his size, and what he likes, mailorder a pair.
And if they aren't the right size, then send them back. You handle
the shipping either way. That way, he's got no excuse for going out,
and it's so easy, he might even thank-you. You might point out, that
he won't spend the money on the shoes, but he's wasting the money on
socks.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
om...
Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
m...

a new pair of shoes for him? He has GOT to be worse than a kid!!!!! I
have asked him why he doesn't want new shoes, and he says that it's
because he just doesn't want to spend the money (so it's not a comfort
issue, like some people have with an old, worn in pair).

Quit with the power struggle already. He's your husband, not your kid.
That said, if you know his size, and what he likes, mailorder a pair.
And if they aren't the right size, then send them back. You handle
the shipping either way. That way, he's got no excuse for going out,
and it's so easy, he might even thank-you. You might point out, that
he won't spend the money on the shoes, but he's wasting the money on
socks.

I'm afraid I have to second this.

Vicky, he's an adult man. If he wants to wear shoes that hurt his feet, look
awful, and wear holes in his socks...well, they're his feet and his socks,
aren't they? When he gets tired of it, he'll get new ones. When he runs out
of socks because they've all had holes worn in them, he'll have no one to
blame but himself. And there he'll be with shoes that hurt his feet, look
awful, and wear holes in his bare feet because he has no socks. When he
comments, you can say "Well, why don't we go out and buy you some new socks,
and some new shoes while we're at it? Those ones have depreciated down to
nothing. Time to invest again." If he asks you to buy socks but no shoes,
say "Sorry, buddy. Your feet, you buy 'em."

I once observed a power struggle of this sort between my husband and his
mother. She yelled at him in front of me that he MUST get new shoes before
we took a trip to visit his relatives overseas. It was humiliating to him
and so upsetting to me that I walked out of their house and my husband
caught up with me 1/4 mile down the road. I suppose his mother was afraid of
what their family would think. But his old shoes were comfortable, the new
ones he got to please her were not, and we did a lot of walking during that
trip.

--angela

Sophie wrote:

I went through almost as much pain trying to convince him to get new
pants. At least with pants, though, I can buy him some without needing
him to try them on.


Why can't you get shoes for him? You know his size and style right?

Nope. Well I can find out the size, and I know the style, but shoes are
just one of those things that you have to try on yourself, IMO.



Since it's always the crotch that fails in his pants,


What do men do to their pants? Dylan does the same thing - it's always the
seam "right there" - lol.



He likes to be rude and blame it on me. I, of course, like to be
*rational* ahem and point out that he sits with his legs spread out, in
some fashion, all the time, and that that probably puts undue stress on
the crotch seam.

zolw wrote:

My only problem is shoes. It took me 6 months to get my husband to buy
new shoes. They had holes in them, but he loved them so much. I finally
manipulated him into going into a shoe store (I said that I needed his
opinion on a pair of shoes. Knowing that that shoe store had exactly the
same pair of shoes that he liked so much) So, we went there &
miraculously I managed to convince him to get the pair of shoes.

Well I don't like to force people, or manipulate them into doing what I
want them to do. It's just not me. If a person *really* doesn't want
to do something, I won't force the issue. Anyway, at the end of the
day, after I picked him up, I told him that although I REALLY think that
he should get new shoes, I would not force him to do it. He said thank
you. I then asked if he would be interested in going tomorrow. He said
yes. OMG HOORAY! ;-)


You know he spends sooooooo much money on his precious computers (we've
got 3 of them, cause a man can't live without different operating
systems) )but he does not want to "waste" money on his appearance.

He collects computers, too. He's got at least 3 that he actually owns
in his office in the attic (he has another two that are technically the
university's, but that doesn't stop him). Me, I have just one. My dear
little laptop. ;-)


I think that it works out real well ... you meet a man, get full
training on how to deal with kids, then you get to have kids. It is all
part of your training as a mom )

The training I'm receiving from him is how to deal with a sometimes
cranky, often impatient, almost always stubborn, but truly wonderful
human being who is always capable of more love (and forgiveness for my
flaws) than I ever thought possible. :-) He's a neat package. I
wouldn't trade him for anything. :-)

Clisby wrote:



Vicky Bilaniuk wrote:

This is a DH rant. My DH has needed a new pair of shoes for over 2
years, now, and he won't let me take him to the store. It's driving
me crazy.

snip

So when you finally drag him to the store, get him to pick out some
shoes he likes and buy 2 or 3 pairs. Put the extras away until next time.

Great idea. ;-)

Chotii wrote:

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
om...

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
. com...


a new pair of shoes for him? He has GOT to be worse than a kid!!!!! I
have asked him why he doesn't want new shoes, and he says that it's
because he just doesn't want to spend the money (so it's not a comfort
issue, like some people have with an old, worn in pair).

Quit with the power struggle already. He's your husband, not your kid.
That said, if you know his size, and what he likes, mailorder a pair.
And if they aren't the right size, then send them back. You handle
the shipping either way. That way, he's got no excuse for going out,
and it's so easy, he might even thank-you. You might point out, that
he won't spend the money on the shoes, but he's wasting the money on
socks.


I'm afraid I have to second this.
[snip]

Uh, for the record, what we experienced today was not a power struggle.
It was far too comedic, with me always knowing that I would never
force him to do something he really doesn't want to do.

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
om...
Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
m...

a new pair of shoes for him? He has GOT to be worse than a kid!!!!! I
have asked him why he doesn't want new shoes, and he says that it's
because he just doesn't want to spend the money (so it's not a comfort
issue, like some people have with an old, worn in pair).

Quit with the power struggle already. He's your husband, not your kid.
That said, if you know his size, and what he likes, mailorder a pair.
And if they aren't the right size, then send them back. You handle
the shipping either way. That way, he's got no excuse for going out,
and it's so easy, he might even thank-you. You might point out, that
he won't spend the money on the shoes, but he's wasting the money on
socks.

I'm afraid I have to second this.

Vicky, he's an adult man. If he wants to wear shoes that hurt his feet,
look
awful, and wear holes in his socks...well, they're his feet and his socks,
aren't they? When he gets tired of it, he'll get new ones. When he runs
out
of socks because they've all had holes worn in them, he'll have no one to
blame but himself. And there he'll be with shoes that hurt his feet, look
awful, and wear holes in his bare feet because he has no socks. When he
comments, you can say "Well, why don't we go out and buy you some new
socks,
and some new shoes while we're at it? Those ones have depreciated down to
nothing. Time to invest again." If he asks you to buy socks but no shoes,
say "Sorry, buddy. Your feet, you buy 'em."

I once observed a power struggle of this sort between my husband and his
mother. She yelled at him in front of me that he MUST get new shoes
before
we took a trip to visit his relatives overseas. It was humiliating to him
and so upsetting to me that I walked out of their house and my husband
caught up with me 1/4 mile down the road. I suppose his mother was afraid
of
what their family would think. But his old shoes were comfortable, the
new
ones he got to please her were not, and we did a lot of walking during
that
trip.

--angela

My MIL and FIL talk to my dh like this ALL the time.. Not about shoes but
about his health, he is diabetic and does not care to take care of it. I
have gotten to the point that he knows the risks of not taking care of it,
he knows where his meds are and he knows the right dose to take, I am NOT
going to shove his meds down his throat or give him his insulin. i also
will not listen to him whine when he is put on dialisis because he did not
take care of himself properly! I also do not do guilt trips to get him to
do what he should... I let the dr handle that one. He has been hospitalized
2 times since we got married in 2001 and he should have been admited a 3rd
time but the hospital decided to release him after making him promise to set
up an appointment with his reg dr... never happened.
Now I just tell him what my next husband will be like

Tori

--
Bonnie 3/20/02
Xavier due 10/17/04

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
. ..
Chotii wrote:

"Cathy Weeks" wrote in message
om...

Vicky Bilaniuk wrote in message
.com...


a new pair of shoes for him? He has GOT to be worse than a kid!!!!! I
have asked him why he doesn't want new shoes, and he says that it's
because he just doesn't want to spend the money (so it's not a comfort
issue, like some people have with an old, worn in pair).

Quit with the power struggle already. He's your husband, not your kid.
That said, if you know his size, and what he likes, mailorder a pair.
And if they aren't the right size, then send them back. You handle
the shipping either way. That way, he's got no excuse for going out,
and it's so easy, he might even thank-you. You might point out, that
he won't spend the money on the shoes, but he's wasting the money on
socks.


I'm afraid I have to second this.
[snip]

Uh, for the record, what we experienced today was not a power struggle. It
was far too comedic, with me always knowing that I would never force him
to do something he really doesn't want to do.

Well. I saw that in your follow-up post. In your original, I saw something
else entirely. And since I'm not the only one who didn't see the humor OR
the comedy....well, I'm sorry I missed what was so funny about you comparing
your husband to a child you have to order around, who can't figure out that
his shoes hurt his feet, but....I did miss it.

--angela

"Vicky Bilaniuk" wrote in message
. ..
Sophie wrote:

I went through almost as much pain trying to convince him to get new
pants. At least with pants, though, I can buy him some without needing
him to try them on.


Why can't you get shoes for him? You know his size and style right?

Nope. Well I can find out the size, and I know the style, but shoes are
just one of those things that you have to try on yourself, IMO.

Not if you are ordering the exact same brand, size and style. Just a
thought.

--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

Check out Taylor Marlys -- www.MyFamily.com, User ID: Clarkguest1,
Password: Guest
Become a member for free - go to Add Member to set up your own User ID and
Password

Check out our Adoption Page at http://home.earthlink.net/~jamielee6