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#11
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Dr. Phil
'Kate wrote in message news On Mon, 01 Dec 2003 22:50:48 GMT, "CME" 'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even more work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house, laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for the household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol Christine I know what you mean. That was typical of my marriage. When I worked, I still had the same household and childcare responsibilities. I don't remember getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night because my day ended somewhere around midnight and started at 5 am. Weekends were spent doing the major cleaning, cooking for part of the week, and the general laundry (towels and sheets). It was awful. I think that men, in general, have changed from generation to generation. I hear different attitudes from the younger men. Many of them were raised in single-mother households and know how to take care of more than their older, more traditional counterparts. There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. 'Kate Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol Christine |
#12
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Dr. Phil
"CME" wrote in message news:a1Yyb.231801$jy.92667@clgrps13... 'Kate wrote in message news On Mon, 01 Dec 2003 22:50:48 GMT, "CME" 'Kate wrote in message ... On 1 Dec 2003 06:42:46 -0800, (Vickychick) I saw a Dr. Phil the other night. It was a mother they revisited who has been in therapy. Her own daughter called her a monster, due to her horrible parenting style. But there was hope and she found it. It was amazing to see mom taking time out for herself. I think doing too much makes mothers more prone to fussiness and breakdowns. Any thoughts? Vicky (who takes time outs when "I" am angry.) Mothers are judged to a different standard than fathers. Because we expect less from fathers, even the word "fathering" means fewer things, fewer expectations than the word "mothering", then mothers will feel as if there aren't enough hours in the day. Until the responsibilities of the roles are truly equal with respect to responsibilities (income, childcare, and housework), then mothers will continue to forego taking time out for themselves. Fathers seem to be more able to do this. They take the time that they need and then give to others. Perhaps it's because of the way that we think of fathers. Their traditional role is as income producer whereas mothers have traditionally taken care of everything else regarding home and family. I can only theorize that the idea of motherhood and fatherhood must change to catch up to the economic changes in the operation of the family. 'Kate I'm with you on this one Kate. I found that living with someone else created more problems than helped ease them. I found I was doing even more work, whereas that other person could have helped out more. I think when it's just me, I have only myself to count on, and when I was living with someone else, their expectations weren't in line with mine (clean house, laundry done, the basics really). *sigh* I want to be in a relationship where it's based on equality. I find that typically, even though I was working or going to school full-time that *I* was still responsible for the household duties and let me tell you, that didn't fly for very long. lol Christine I know what you mean. That was typical of my marriage. When I worked, I still had the same household and childcare responsibilities. I don't remember getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night because my day ended somewhere around midnight and started at 5 am. Weekends were spent doing the major cleaning, cooking for part of the week, and the general laundry (towels and sheets). It was awful. I think that men, in general, have changed from generation to generation. I hear different attitudes from the younger men. Many of them were raised in single-mother households and know how to take care of more than their older, more traditional counterparts. There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. 'Kate Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol Christine I found one, although we're on the rocks, somewhat... He's the one bitching about laundry getting backed up, or washed and folded and left in baskets outside rooms, beside closets or dressers or on the couch (and yes, I do realize it's not hard to put it all away) and it's him I hardly ever see without a vacuum in his hand, although I do go overboard with washing the floors... He's the one who finally gives up and does the dishes in the sink, as I don't see any point in washed 3 glasses, a spoon and a plate when you can save it all til the end of the day and do a bit more to make it worthwhile... |
#13
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Dr. Phil
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. moms tend to think the family will cease to exist without them there to control it? T Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss. ;-) LOL (its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored) Andrew |
#14
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Dr. Phil
"HanK" wrote in message ... as well.I have scheduled a recharge for Dec 12th and I am going to a function with some people I used to work with on a large project five or six years ago. Intend to seriously let loose, Have it large. Screw some bint. get over the hang over and subsequent remorse, eat some carbs and do it all again next week! re carbs Reminder to self. I can eat a greasy, chilli doner kebab at one in the morning if I want. I have missed them! Andrew |
#15
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Dr. Phil
Andrew wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. moms tend to think the family will cease to exist without them there to control it? T Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss. ;-) LOL (its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored) Andrew You say its humor but I think you know its true. lol... just kidding also. T |
#16
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Dr. Phil
There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from
the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. 'Kate Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol My husband did more housecleaning than me. He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I think that makes a difference. Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day or even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have higher standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for what they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do it. Joelle The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St Augustine Joelle |
#17
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Dr. Phil
Joelle wrote in message ... There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. 'Kate Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol My husband did more housecleaning than me. He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I think that makes a difference. Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day or even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have higher standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for what they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do it. Joelle That is very true. So many of my friends complain about how the husband can't clean right or do laundry right. If someone else is cleaning, how can it be wrong? lol |
#18
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Dr. Phil
"Tiffany" wrote in message ... Joelle wrote in message ... There are, of course, exceptional men and women who shared duties from the start or have adopted non-traditional roles by choice. 'Kate Yeah and where can I meet them??? lol My husband did more housecleaning than me. He was older - 35 and had to live on his own and clean his own house. I think that makes a difference. Being somone that doesn't care if the bathtub gets disinfected every day or even every week, I think Paul has a point about how a lot of women have higher standards about housekeeping than men. So they don't give men credit for what they do, or they complain and criticize what they do and so they don't do it. Joelle That is very true. So many of my friends complain about how the husband can't clean right or do laundry right. If someone else is cleaning, how can it be wrong? lol EXACTLY! I mean hey, if he was contributing, why bitch? I remember I *used* to be alittle anal when it came to things, but after having kids oh boy have my standards relaxed. If I have dishes in the sink, who cares... if the laundry's pilled up over the week, oh well... I just like things to be somewhat tidy, so I draw the line at garbage strewn around the house, or if food is left out... basic housekeeping standards. Christine |
#19
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Dr. Phil
"Andrew" wrote in message ... "Tiffany" wrote in message ... the man is more likely to take time for himself then the women. moms tend to think the family will cease to exist without them there to control it? T Ahhh marriage, the coming together of a male idle b*stard and a female egotistical maniac. Sheer bliss. ;-) LOL (its humor, so any and all attacks will be completely ignored) Andrew Hey... that's Ms. Ego Maniac to you. Christine |
#20
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Dr. Phil
"CME" Its funny I was thinking of you lot last Saturday night when some bint was trying to remove my tonsels whilst telling me how much she loved her husband and kids. women are like female spiders. Still another enemy diffused HanK |
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