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#21
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:21:20 -0700, "Circe" wrote:
I have actually had a fair number of conversations about this over the years while NIP, particularly as my babies got into the toddler years. You'd never believe the number of women I've encountered who guiltily confessed to me as I nursed my 1+yo that they had nursed until their children were 2, 3, or (shocking!) even more than 3yo. I always enjoy these conversations during which I unblinkingly own to having nursed my oldest for 3y2m and to knowing quite a number of moms who nursed until their kids were closer to 5yo. I am finding that also here lately(not just with nursing, either...co-sleeping has been a big "discovery" lately). The fact that this happens also relieves some of the stress of nursing in public (my toddler hates nursing without pushing my shirt up, it's about impossible to be discreet in any way)...for any negative comment or look you may get, think of all the mothers who "secretly" nursed their tots that long. The person with the comments has no clue. kwim? Marie |
#22
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
On Fri, 04 Jun 2004 01:46:05 GMT, "New York Jen"
wrote: Nope, but I'm dying to just so I could tear them a new a**hole! I've felt that way myself ;o) I've been very lucky with nursing in public, which I do all the time and am quite comfortable. The other day I had Lily in the Baby Trekker carrier and I whipped out my boob and latched her on while I finished my food shopping. Nobody even noticed, other than my mother, who was totally embarrassed. Isn't it interesting, the ones who are most concerned about it are mothers/MILs. Once at our town's annual Soiree (held outdoors on main street) I was with my MIL and Bethany wanted to nurse (she was 18mths), MIL asked if there was a porta-potty closeby for me to nurse her in!! I was shocked, as MIL knows and has seen me NIP everywhere I've been and has even joked about nursing her herself when babysitting (she never nursed her kids) Other than that though she's never seemed embarassed. My own mother jokes about Bethany being so "old", and walking and asking for it but it's only joking. She's actually let her latch on once before to see what she'd do when Bethany was 14mths. lol (she nursed my brother and I) Marie |
#23
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
"Sophie" wrote in message ...
Mini-vent coming on - As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be better - ick! This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh! Okay, done, feel better Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. Nope. Never. And I've breastfed in public in all sorts of places -- Wal-Mart, grocery stores, a pool, the beach, libraries, malls, restaurants ranging from Wendy's to really fancy places, you name it, if I've been there with DD, I've probably breastfed her there. I've never ever had a negative comment or look at all, and in the places I've lived, bf'ing is not the norm at all. I have bf'ed in the sling some, but I have also bf'ed without it plenty, and I don't generally wear nursing clothing (except for dresses for church). People don't usually comment, but if they do, it's all been positive. My favorite comment came from an older woman who was working in a nice fabric store where I was shopping when DD was not quite two. She wanted milk, so I sat down at the pattern counters to nurse her, and the lady came over to me. I was steeling myself for a negative comment, but she smiled and said I reminded her of herself with her babies, that she had nursed them all for about 3 years, and she was so glad to see other moms nursing. Made my day. -Sara |
#24
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
"Sophie" wrote in message ...
Mini-vent coming on - As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be better - ick! This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh! Okay, done, feel better Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. Sophie #4 due July 7, 2004 Wow, Sophie! That's by far the 'nicest' vent I've read relating to kids! I'd guess it might bother you because it's such a vindictive way to criticize another person's choices -- let's just not let them do it anymore, or declare that they need to do it in the bathroom. It's boggling to just about anyone who takes the time to think it through -- Person A doesn't want to see or be reminded of breastfeeding in any way, no matter how minor, so they think that Person B should only feed her child (when in public) in a restroom! And because it would be ridiculous to try and pass legislation against breastfeeding in public, or stage a protest, they get more and more outrageous in the complaints. I've seen it too, in online groups where they don't know me so much as 'mom' or 'breastfeeding mom', and I really don't get bothered -- but I do try and remember the names of the people who say things like that, because it makes me less likely to believe them in other contexts (if breastfeeding in a restaurant is 'indecent exposure' to someone, a few months later it may occur to me that 'my husband is the meanest guy in the world' from the same person probably means that he forgot to pick up milk on the way home...once) It's preposterous. And no, I've never had a negative comment when nursing in public, and while I never tried to flash anyone, I also didn't worry too much about what people would think. I think confidence has a lot to do with whether you're deemed approachable by rude people. I did have a couple of older men (80's+) sit themselves down uncomfortably close to me while I was nursing on a bench in the mall one time. I didn't think at the time that they were *trying* to get me to stop, but I was totally squicked out, and I left. That might have been them telling me 'No nursing around here!'. It does say a lot more about the complainer than the one being complained about, though. Tina. |
#25
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
Sophie wrote:
Mini-vent coming on - As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" Because you are smart? Because you have a full and busy life and really don't have time to investigate the table next door to see if you can find something to bitch about? Because you are lacking the 'holier then thou' gene? Because you are sensible? :-D :-D I guess I'll stop now, lol. Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? I've breastfed in public a lot. I've never had a single rude comment. I don't remember any comments at all actually but certainly no rude ones. -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3) |
#26
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
"Sophie" wrote in message ... Mini-vent coming on - As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be better - ick! This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh! Okay, done, feel better Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. Sophie #4 due July 7, 2004 I've been glared at a few times ... and I've looked the person in the eye and given them a big smile. I think my attitude probably stops a few people from making negative comments to me. Lots of people have smiled at me though ... maybe fondly reminiscing. It bothers me more when the media make out that its indecent to bf in public, but at least in Australia, a woman's right to bf her child whenever and wherever necessary is protected by anitdiscrimination laws. I've often though that if anyone did say anything negative I'd invite them to bring their lunch into the ladies toilet and we could chat about their problems with me bf in public Amanda -- DD 15th August 2002 1 tiny angel Nov 2003 EDD 19th August 2004 |
#27
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
On Thu, 3 Jun 2004 19:00:24 -0400, "Sophie"
wrote: Mini-vent coming on - As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be better - ick! Because you respect other people :-) This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh! Because they're ignorant ;-) Okay, done, feel better Good Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. Only once and I just smiled sweetly at the offending party and continued about my business. Most of the reaction I've had has been very positive. Nan |
#28
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Ugh! I can't imagine how it makes breastfeeders feel. It's absolutely insane. First of all how is feeding a baby, in any fashion, "inappropriate" in a restaurant?? Where better to feed them?? Well, from the responses apparently the bathroom would be better - ick! Maybe it bothers you because you realize that bf is just about feeding a baby, not some kind of sexual thing. If you can bottlefeed in public, and grownups can eat in public, then a baby should be able to nurse in public! This mini-vent comes from comments on a non-pregnancy board. I don't know what it is. I have no problem if you don't like children, don't want children, fine. But why are people so hateful and rude? Ugh! Okay, done, feel better Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. Only my grandmother. :-) Other than that, I was once asked by a security guard ion a museum if I wouldn't like to go to the lounge to nurse. IT was phrased as though she thought I would be more comfortable there, but I definitely got the vibe that SHE would be more comfortable with me there! I just smiled and said we were fine. Oh, and the YMCA had a sign posted that you couldn't nurse your baby in public there, only in the lounge. I didn't have a baby then, but if I had I was going to nurse it all over the place there and dare them to say something. Here's my vent--I NEVER see anyone nursing in public. Thus I assume that people are either expressing milk into bottles for when they go out, hiding in bathrooms, or just waiting until they get home to feed. The end result is that a nursing baby continues to be a rare sight around here, which only adds to the perception of NIP as shocking. I wish they would hold a nurse-in around here! Leslie |
#29
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
Sophie pondered:
As a person who did not/does not breastfeed, why does it bother me when people say breastfeeding in public is "inappropriate" - and particularly it's inappropriate in a **restaurant**?? Because you have a brain and belong to an enlightened generation? Have any of you who breastfeed in public ever had anyone say anything rude to you? Just curious. I must give of grumpy mommy vibes too. I never had any be rude. But then I only had one person other than family touch my stomach. I used to work with her and she was completely trashed. It was actually rather amusing as she was down on her knees hugging and laying her head on my belly. She claimed the baby was talking to her. I didn't BF out in public alot though. Partially because I wasn't comfortable with it and DD used to fall asleep in the car and would often sleep through most short trips. The only person that got obviously embarrased was our Rebbi. DD was eating and Rebbi came up behind us in the back row. He said "How's the little one.. WHOA you're busy I'll come back." The funny things was I was completely covered but he knew what that blanket meant. Rose Mamma to Caity Feb 13 1999 ( Daddy's best birthday present) |
#30
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Why does this bother me? (re - breastfeeding)
I am really surprised to hear how many mothers are saying they breastfed
their babies past the recommended 12 months. I think breastfeeding is wonderful but I am curious to know why you would WANT to breastfeed that long. I'm not criticizing their choice so no flames, please, but is there a point where it gets weird? Isn't 3,4, or 5 a little old to be nursing? How can you nurse a kindergartener? And if people nurse children of that age why not go to 10 or 11? Where is the cutoff? Just wondering. |
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