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My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training



 
 
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  #1  
Old April 25th 07, 03:03 PM posted to misc.kids
Mom2Max
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)

  #2  
Old April 25th 07, 03:24 PM posted to misc.kids
Nan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 346
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

On 25 Apr 2007 07:03:21 -0700, Mom2Max
wrote:

My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)


Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not going to have him potty
trained on your schedule. Why to you NEED him to go to camp?
I think you've done everything right. Back off and let him take the
lead.

Nan

  #3  
Old April 25th 07, 04:17 PM posted to misc.kids
Boliath
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 101
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

Mom2Max wrote:
My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. snip


Maybe forgo the pull ups and put him in regular underpants, that way if
he soils himself he will be uncomfortable.
  #4  
Old April 25th 07, 04:30 PM posted to misc.kids
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,293
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

Mom2Max wrote:
My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)


He's got you over a barrel. This is really, really
important to you, and he knows it. That's too much pressure
for him, and he's going to resist with both feet. The backing
off thing only works if you *really* back off. He knows this
is really important to you, so it's the same as if you were
actively pushing.

Best wishes,
Ericka
  #5  
Old April 25th 07, 04:39 PM posted to misc.kids
Welches
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 849
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training


"Mom2Max" wrote in message
oups.com...
My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)

Maybe he doesn't really want to go to camp.
Back off, as the others have said. he's playing games with you.... and
winning.
Debbie


  #6  
Old April 25th 07, 08:38 PM posted to misc.kids
toto
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 784
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

On 25 Apr 2007 07:03:21 -0700, Mom2Max
wrote:

I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)


You are setting yourself up for failure if you try to potty train
because *you* need him to be trained, imo.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #7  
Old April 25th 07, 10:04 PM posted to misc.kids
Grahame
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

If you KNOW for sure its just rebellion then I would take drastic steps.
When he gets up the next morning, I would tell him, he has decided to be a
baby by wearing nappies, or peeing and pooing in his pants, so you will have
to treat him like a baby now.
So when he gets up, give him a bottle, and stick him back in bed.
If he gets up shut the door, keep telling him, kids who pee and poo in their
pants have to stay in bed ALL DAY like a baby, cannot play with toys cannot
watch tv cause they are too little.
Anything he wants to do as a 3 yr old he cannot do now cause he is a baby.
If he wants to do more he has to go to the toilet.
My nephew was 3 when he pulled this caper. Treating him as a baby lasted 1
morning. By lunch he agreed to use the toilet. But if it takes him longer be
prepared to do this for a few days at least.

All the best

Fiona

"Mom2Max" wrote in message
oups.com...
My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)



  #8  
Old April 25th 07, 10:07 PM posted to misc.kids
Grahame
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

If this is a power struggle and you let him win this, he will rule the
house. So I have to disagree, if you know he is capable and is just
unwilling, set boundries. let him know he CAN choose to pee and poo, but
you CAN and WILL choose the punishment. He will soon realise he can get more
of what he wants if he cooperates.

Fiona
"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...
Mom2Max wrote:
My son has known exactly what he needs to do since 18 months. The
healthy curiosity, has done both on the potty, gets his rewards. Now
it is justu a major powerplay. We don't scream and yell. We just let
him know that it's his choice...BUT there are certain things he won't
be able to do if he chooses diapers. I show him underpants (even CARS
pullups, etc.) He says, that's OK. I'll wear underpants and pullups
but I'm going to pee and poop in them...all with a big smile. It's
total and complete knowing rebellion. He is intrigued with summer
camp and he knows he can't go to summer camp wearing diapers...but
otherwise, forget it. This morning he smiled and said he peed and
pooped in his diaper. I didn't say a word and changed him. When he
asked where his pullups were (because the sun was up) I told him he's
decided he's not ready for pullups. When he's ready to use them he'll
let me know. And then I left it alone. I'm very frustrated and I
know this is a popular thread with this group. Any and all
suggestions welcomed. I need him to be potty trained by July 9
because I NEED him to go to summer camp and they won't take him if he
isn't. Plus he'll be 3 1/2 (very, very bright child..no developmental
delays...)


He's got you over a barrel. This is really, really
important to you, and he knows it. That's too much pressure
for him, and he's going to resist with both feet. The backing
off thing only works if you *really* back off. He knows this
is really important to you, so it's the same as if you were
actively pushing.

Best wishes,
Ericka



  #9  
Old April 25th 07, 11:19 PM posted to misc.kids
Anne Rogers[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 339
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

If this is a power struggle and you let him win this, he will rule the
house. So I have to disagree, if you know he is capable and is just
unwilling, set boundries. let him know he CAN choose to pee and poo, but
you CAN and WILL choose the punishment. He will soon realise he can get
more of what he wants if he cooperates.


but ignoring the issue of potty training, but continuing to change regular
diapers without a fuss, nothing interesting, nothing exciting, or whatever,
isn't letting him win, it's not that he wants to wear diapers, it's that he
doesn't want to do what the adult wants, which happens to be not wearing
diapers, the converse does not apply.

The advice from many respected sources when an older child refuses to potty
train is to ignore the issue - my expectation would be that after a while of
ignoring the issue he'd likely start doing it himself.

Anne


  #10  
Old April 25th 07, 11:50 PM posted to misc.kids
Donna Metler
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 309
Default My 3.4 yr old ds says NO to potty training

I'd also find out if he's as eager to go to camp as you are. If he is
uncertain, and knows that no potty training=no camp, well, you've given him
an out without admitting why. And that could explain the balking.

And, FWIW, there are programs for 3 yr olds which don't require toilet
training, they're just harder to find. My 2 1/2 yr old is going into a older
2s/3s program this summer which is largely 2 yr olds who are a bit too
verbal and too "old" to be happy with young 2s and 3s who aren't potty
trained yet. They do mostly the same stuff as the 3 yr old class, but have a
lower ratio and the expectation is that the kids will be working on toilet
training.



 




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