upset at nanny -- vent

"Circe" wrote in message
news:i9AWb.39227$QJ3.19927@fed1read04...
Katie Jaques wrote:
Of
course, in recent years, "black" has been replaced in polite usage
by the cumbersome "African-American."

Well, not completely. Fufu was black or African or Zulu. She was not
African-American g! Sammy Sosa is black, but he's not
African-American--he's Hispanic.

I'd say black is a broader term for all people of the darker sorts
of skin
tone that originate in Africa and might apply equally well to some
Pacific
Islanders (e.g. Papua New Guineans), while African-American is a
term
specifically for blacks who are also US citizens and trace their
ancestry
back several generations in the States. They're really not
interchangeable
terms.
--

In the US, black is for those of african origin and thats it. (going
by the census definition)

"Circe" wrote in message

I'd say black is a broader term for all people of the
darker sorts of skin
tone that originate in Africa and might apply equally well
to some Pacific
Islanders (e.g. Papua New Guineans

Not here in New Zealand, if you called a Maori or an
Islander black your likely to get your head kicked in. It's
a pretty offensive term. You're referred to according to
your culture, Maori, Islander, Somali or Asian rather than
your skin tone. The exception being Pakeha, which generally
refers to white New Zealanders, but actually means all
non-Iwi people, so all non-Maori or Maori not of the local
iwi (or tribe). But it's now a modern day accepted thing to
call white New Zealanders.


--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.





--
Andrea

If I can't be a good example, then I'll just have to be a
horrible warning.

"Circe" wrote
That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications

MLK used the term himself (matter-of-factly, not to point out problems
with it) in his speeches. I specifically remember that because I
remember listening to the I Have a Dream speech once with my son on
the History and Politics Out Loud site www.hpol.org and my son gasped
when he heard it: because of MLK's accent, he pronounces the word
"Nigra," which is awfully close to "the N word."

Anyway, this would seem to indicate that the word negro was not
considered offensive by those "in the know" in the 60s. I was born in
'64 in the Northeast, and by the time I was aware of such things, I
had the feeling that "black" was the OK term to use, "colored" was
offensive (though my motherstill, innocently, uses it), and "negro"
was just sort of "out" and old-fashioned. FWIW . . .

"Nevermind" wrote in message
om...
"Circe" wrote
That said, Negro was *always* a word with negative implications

MLK used the term himself (matter-of-factly, not to point out
problems
with it) in his speeches. I specifically remember that because I
remember listening to the I Have a Dream speech once with my son on
the History and Politics Out Loud site www.hpol.org and my son
gasped
when he heard it: because of MLK's accent, he pronounces the word
"Nigra," which is awfully close to "the N word."

Anyway, this would seem to indicate that the word negro was not
considered offensive by those "in the know" in the 60s. I was born
in
'64 in the Northeast, and by the time I was aware of such things, I
had the feeling that "black" was the OK term to use, "colored" was
offensive (though my motherstill, innocently, uses it), and "negro"
was just sort of "out" and old-fashioned. FWIW . . .

Older black people, especially in the south refer to themselves as
"colored".
Sometimes there can be offense taken when an older white person uses
the
term colored to a younger black person who may not be aware that the
term
isnt meant insultingly.

She's A Goddess wrote:

"Michelle Spina" wrote in message
om...

This is *clearly* very person dependent, then. I was thinking as I was
reading this "you have no idea what it's like to be a working mother!"
When exactly do you think the house *gets* cleaned? I'd love to have
the picture you painted - clean house in the morning, come home to
same clean house. Hmmm - when would I manage that? Mornings are busy
getting parents ready for work, and kids ready for their day. The day
is filled with work. Come home, play with kids, make dinner, play more
with kids, put kids to bed. Now it's 8:30 - 9:00pm. Some cleaning can
be done, but nothing too noisy, because, well, the kids are sleeping.
And, we've been going since 6:30am - cleaning is NOT at the top of my
list at that point. So, dirty house remains dirty. Repeat 5x. Weekends
are a blur of errands and cleaning that should have been done during
the week. Hardly the nirvana painted above.

Thanks for reminding me why I don't want to go back to work Michelle

If you work full-time, you have ALL of
those tasks to do, but substantially less time to do them in. How
could that be easier? Cripes, we even have a nanny. I honestly have NO
idea how people do it when they have the get the kids ready for
daycare in the mornings on top of it all.

IIRC, you have always had a nanny (except when you were jobless) and your
nanny doesn't do much in the way of housekeeping. The big difference that
some people fail to see (including my husband) is that when there are people
home all day (nanny and kids or mom and kids) there is a lot more work to do
on the weekends. We did really good at keeping the house in shape when DD
was in daycare, but once we hired the nanny I was amazed at how much more
natural mess there was. She vacuumed, and did any dishes associated with
feeding the baby and herself and tried to pick up their messes as they went
along but any one of those things went by the wayside if they needed to
because that is the way I wanted it. Her focus on the baby. Now I've spent
eight months at home and I try to do things the same way. Kids first, house
second (or occassionally even third to me time). Which means there is a
much bigger mess that must be dealt with when husband is home or on the
weekends. Husband of course thinks I'm eating bon-bons and letting the kids
destroy the house :-) FTR, I think what I'm saying supports your statement
that its hella hard to work and keep house, but also others statements that
its hard to be home because there is simply more to do.

--
Rhiannon
Mom to M. Girl (29 months) and O. Boy (7 1/2 months)

Yup to all that Rhiannon! Our nanny only does kid-related tasks - she does clean
up toys at the end of the day, but no actual "house cleaning" kind of stuff. I'm
sure that having people in the house during the day contributes to the chaos a
bit, that's for sure!

m.

Marie wrote:


When I woh, I only had one child (a baby in fact) and was single. So
maybe it was easier for me than if I were married and had more
children. (I'm sure it was) I look back on that and my apartment was
soooo clean and neat. Then came dh and two more children.
So I will say that in MY experience of woh and sah, woh was easier as
far as housekeeping. I apologize, I wasn't comparing equal family
compositions. I also feel overwhelmed much of the time with my
youngest daughter's personality and needs so I snapped out a little.
I still do the OMG what will I fix for dinner? bit now and then ;o) I
am *not* able to clean somedays, depending on what else is going on at
home. With the three kids here we are always doing something. Normally
cleaning is done when the baby goes to bed at night.
Marie

Marie,

I think you nailed it! Now that I think about it, when DH is out of town, I
have my clean house back!!!

It's the men, I tell ya. ;-)

m.

Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:wgyWb.475386$X%5.348337@pd7tw2no...
Tine Andersen wrote:

"PattyMomVA" skrev i en meddelelse
...

This is the same reason I cringe when I hear someone refer to "the blond."
(And, I can't get DH to stop doing it.)


But 'blonde' is a noun, isn't it?

Yes, or an adjective.
The blonde woman/the blond man (adj)
or she was blonde (noun)

I'm sure I'll be only one of dozens to point this out, but in your
last example, the word "blonde" is still an adjective, describing the
(pro)noun "she". Only if you say (for example) "She is a blonde" do
you make "blonde" a noun. Why does the OP cringe when she hears
someone refer to "the blond"?

Nevermind wrote:

Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:wgyWb.475386$X%5.348337@pd7tw2no...

Tine Andersen wrote:


"PattyMomVA" skrev i en meddelelse
...


This is the same reason I cringe when I hear someone refer to "the blond."
(And, I can't get DH to stop doing it.)


But 'blonde' is a noun, isn't it?

Yes, or an adjective.
The blonde woman/the blond man (adj)
or she was blonde (noun)


I'm sure I'll be only one of dozens to point this out, but in your
last example, the word "blonde" is still an adjective, describing the
(pro)noun "she". Only if you say (for example) "She is a blonde" do
you make "blonde" a noun.

yes, sorry, typo. And apparently the OP cringes because it focuses on
the person's coloration. Mind you, if you are trying to point someone
out, that can be a distinguishing factor of some use, imo. (ie, the
blond standing by the tree as opposed to the brunette beside him, both
wearing similar clothing, etc)

I find it interesting how many people don't realise that blond/blonde
refers to masculine/feminine. IOW, it's incorrect to say the blonde man.

Dawn

Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:PeyWb.475383$X%5.42785@pd7tw2no...

Ditto that. ;-)
But thanks for answering, i'm trying to see if I can "pinpoint" the
difference since I greatly admire these families I know and find teh
enormous differences between their POV and what I read here to be
fascinating...

Haven't you ever heard the saying, "If you want something done, ask a
busy person"? ;-)

I think a lot of it has to do with being high-energy, focused and
organized. On the days I have a plan & a focus, I can often get a ton
of stuff done. Then there are days when I don't have a plan or a
focus, and I feel like I'm slogging through mud to get anything done.
And it doesn't matter whether Im at home or at work - the same
dichotomy applies. Though if I'm home with ds, it's also a question
of whether or not we're in sync with each other. Some days our
rhythms seem to work well together, and other days we're at
loggerheads and I feel lucky to get anything done at all!

Irene

Irene wrote:

Dawn Lawson wrote in message news:PeyWb.475383$X%5.42785@pd7tw2no...


Ditto that. ;-)
But thanks for answering, i'm trying to see if I can "pinpoint" the
difference since I greatly admire these families I know and find teh
enormous differences between their POV and what I read here to be
fascinating...


Haven't you ever heard the saying, "If you want something done, ask a
busy person"? ;-)

Yup, sure. I'm just digging a little I guess. Wondering why this is
the case.


I think a lot of it has to do with being high-energy, focused and
organized.

Okay, I'll buy that. Certainly I would say that those qualities seem to
be at least some of the difference between me and other people who find
what I manage to get done rather amazing. Frankly, I have to wonder
what they would think if they saw me in "full production" (I'm not used
to city life, and find it rather less of a challenge than I prefer)

But still, these families are basically one community, and I wonder how
they manage to so consistantly show the traits. Perhaps it has to do
with how they *value* the work ethic and therefore how they keep going
better through the mud-bog times. I get a general sense that the
average member of the "opposite" group I described tends to value a lot
more disconnected time (TV, etc) and a greater willingness to "leave
that til later" than what I see in the first group.

Dawn