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#11
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:
No, not really. But I'll mention that in my house, my 6 YO DD is just not expected to do as much as my 9 YO DS. Her share is smaller than his, so even when she does "her share" it's still theoretically less than he has to do. This is a good point. So, when I send them up to clean up their shared room, I remind her to clean up "her toys" (barbies, Pollys, dolls, stuffed animals, jewelry -- sometimes all out in one day, which makes for a hefty job that I often help out with), and he cleans up any of his own small mess (mostly CDs, guitars, and books) plus all the other books that have been strewn about by all 3 kids. Additional general clean-up tasks usually fall on his shoulders because he can manage them, but I rarely, and only as a personal favor, ask him to clean up "her toys." That would start WW III. Part of our issue is that almost always, they have made all of their mess together. The 10yo does help more with cleaning up the 3yo's mess, but we always have trouble breaking down the big boys' shared mess into separate jobs for each of them. If I just send them to work on it together, the 8yo goofs off, which really ****es off the 10yo. Well, I'm sorry to hear that no one has a magic answer, but at least it helps to know we are not alone. ;-) Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01) -- "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt |
#12
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
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#13
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
In article ,
Rosalie B. wrote: Can you segregate it geographically - say in the family room "You (10 yo) take everything on the floor on this side of the room from here to here and put it away and you (8 yo) clean that side from there to there?" This is the approach that has worked best for us so far. But still, major disputes seem to crop up more often than not. Or you could break it down by categories - You (8 yo) pick up all the CDs and books and put them away, and you (10 yo) pick up all the toys and games. This is harder because there are a lot of things that just don't end up fitting into a category. So it ends up being 8yo doing some specific things and 10yo doing "everything else" which tends to set off his "life is woefully unfair" sensors. Also, they get in each other's way more with this model. Thanks, --Robyn |
#14
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
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#16
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
Marijke wrote:
Yikes. I just tell them to clean it up. I'm sorry, but the "no fair" argument just doesn't cut it. I have to do things I don't like and that's what life is all about. I'm not about to start putting ropes up and spending time dividing by task who should do what. It's not fair? Too bad. Life goes on. If the older one feels put upon, I pull out the "you are allowed to do more than the younger sibling and with the privileges comes the responsibility." I'm serious. I think that this is going way too far. Clean the stuff up. Period. Mean Mom, Marijke I'm inclined to agree. Although I don't have DD clean up DS's room, when it's time to clean some other part of the house, I just expect them to clean and not whine about it (whining means a quarter goes in the whine jar). My kids are very motivated by money, though, and if a section of the house is particularly cluttered, and they didn't do all the cluttering, they'll get a little extra allowance. And I'm with you about "Life isn't fair". In fact, I think learning that life is not fair is a very important lesson. Robin, you should have Ryan read these posts Which makes me wonder -- are anyone's kids aware that we are writing about them here? Mine are blissfully ignorant of it. I wonder if DD or DS will ever stumble on here doing a google search? scott DD 11 and DS 8 |
#17
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
In article ,
Scott wrote: Marijke wrote: Yikes. I just tell them to clean it up. I'm sorry, but the "no fair" argument just doesn't cut it. I have to do things I don't like and that's what life is all about. I'm not about to start putting ropes up and spending time dividing by task who should do what. It's not fair? Too bad. Life goes on. If the older one feels put upon, I pull out the "you are allowed to do more than the younger sibling and with the privileges comes the responsibility." I'm serious. I think that this is going way too far. Clean the stuff up. Period. I'm inclined to agree. Although I don't have DD clean up DS's room, when it's time to clean some other part of the house, I just expect them to clean and not whine about it We've tried this, but then the 8yo will often literally do nothing, in which case the 10yo has a valid complaint, IMO. Basically, the 8yo has to be assigned a specific job in order to get him to pitch in an amount comensurate with his age and ability. But that's a big pain for us a lot of the time... Sometimes, rarely, they do manage to work things out on their own. They make up games like "I'm only allowed to pick up anything with green on it and you're only allowed to pick up anything with blue on it." They have a special "frog" game they use for picking up the final scraps and little bits after the big stuff is put away. This is, of course, what I prefer. Other times I do have to physically separate them (generally by time, but sometimes by space) as Rosalie suggests, or, more often, assign jobs to make sure the 8yo does *something*. Robin, you should have Ryan read these posts Which makes me wonder -- are anyone's kids aware that we are writing about them here? Mine are blissfully ignorant of it. I wonder if DD or DS will ever stumble on here doing a google search? Mine aren't, at least not explicitly. They are aware that I write about them sometimes, but I don't think they really know where it goes. Robyn (mommy to Ryan 9/93 and Matthew 6/96 and Evan 3/01) -- "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." -- Theodore Roosevelt |
#18
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
Rosalie B. wrote in :
OK - Here's what you do - Give the 10 yo the specific things FIRST and list ALL the specific things that you can see.**And*let*him*get*on with it by himself.**Occupy*the*8*yo*an*another*area.**Then*a fter*half an hour, switch places, and give the 8 yo "everything else" to clean up.**Maybe*the*10*yo*will*then*prefer*to*do*"every thing*else"*after that because the "everything else" may be a lot less than the categories. What would probably happen in our house is that the 10yo would d.a.w.d.l.e... over the tidying up, and not get it done. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#19
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
Marijke wrote:
Yikes. I just tell them to clean it up. I'm sorry, but the "no fair" argument just doesn't cut it. I have to do things I don't like and that's what life is all about. I'm not about to start putting ropes up and spending time dividing by task who should do what. My daughters share a room. I send each of them in there for a stated time, say fifteen minutes, and tell them to put away as much of their stuff as they can. After that I say "Are you done? Can I sweep in there? Remember, everything on the floor can get tossed now." Sometimes they dive back in and rescue things, sometimes they let me sweep. (Once in a while they even insist on sweeping themselves.) I am generally kind and rescue things like puzzle pieces and Bingo balls whose loss would ruin a game, but by and large I sweep any junk on the floor into a heap, tell them to take one last look, and it goes. --Helen |
#20
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siblings cleaning up together (was workable routines)
Scott wrote in :
Which makes me wonder -- are anyone's kids aware that we are writing about them here?**Mine*are*blissfully ignorant of it.**I*wonder*if*DD*or*DS*will*ever stumble on here doing a google search?** Mine know of the existance of misc.kids and misc.kids.moderated, but I don't know if they've yet realised I write about them here. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
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