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Circle in a Square Peg



 
 
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  #1  
Old May 19th 04, 09:31 PM
Kristi Carney
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Default Circle in a Square Peg

I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.


  #2  
Old May 19th 04, 09:52 PM
lm
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Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg

On Wed, 19 May 2004 16:31:12 -0400, "Kristi Carney"
wrote:

I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.


Your choice. You didn't answer my questions about race though. I'm not
sure what you wanted from a bunch of strangers but support is not
necessarily hugging and "poor you" sentiment. I've seen people get
tromped on on this group and others and I don't see the response you
got as beating you over the head with anything, but I did see it as
people calling you on your prejudices and reminding you not to trash
or disregard your child's father. Those are fair responses, and I
wouldn't want any kind of "support" that didn't require that I try to
be more objective about my situation.

Everyone has moments of frustration and everyone gets to vent about
their ex or their kids or whatever they need to vent about, but when
you introduce yourself as someone who was irresponsible when you got
pregnant and now look down your nose at your child's father, implying
that you just got mixed up while slumming, you can understand that
that's all we have to go on. Being strangers and all. So suit
yourself, move on if you choose to. I wish you and your child and your
child's father peace.

lm

  #3  
Old May 20th 04, 03:13 AM
Tiffany
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Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg

Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative.

T
"Kristi Carney" wrote in message
...
I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the

support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess

what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves

than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.




  #4  
Old May 20th 04, 01:17 PM
Paul Fritz
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Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg


"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative.


The closest thing was Dennis cutting to the chase.........which she seemed
to take offense with. Another classic example o someone who thinks
'support' is being enabled ......"it's okay......you good, him bad' Maybe
if what's his name from England (not you Paul G) was still posting, he
could play the enabler and make her feel better


T
"Kristi Carney" wrote in message
...
I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the

support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've

been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess

what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything

and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this

a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story

and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by

wolves
than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board.

I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.






  #5  
Old May 20th 04, 01:26 PM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg

Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see!

Honesty sure does bite some in the ass doesn't it. I know I wish all my
problems could be taken care of with a kiss and a hug but that just isn't
the case.

T
"Paul Fritz" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
Wow... what did I miss? I don't recall seeing anything negative.


The closest thing was Dennis cutting to the chase.........which she

seemed
to take offense with. Another classic example o someone who thinks
'support' is being enabled ......"it's okay......you good, him bad'

Maybe
if what's his name from England (not you Paul G) was still posting, he
could play the enabler and make her feel better


T
"Kristi Carney" wrote in message
...
I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the

support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've

been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger.

Guess
what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me...

it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything

and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call

this
a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their

story
and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by

wolves
than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board.

I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.








  #6  
Old May 20th 04, 02:18 PM
lm
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg

On Thu, 20 May 2004 08:26:37 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see!

Honesty sure does bite some in the ass doesn't it. I know I wish all my
problems could be taken care of with a kiss and a hug but that just isn't
the case.


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :-)

((((((((((((((Tiffany)))))))))))))))))

lm
  #7  
Old May 20th 04, 11:12 PM
Karen O'Mara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg

"Kristi Carney" wrote in message ...
I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the support
I was seeking or hoping to find. I'm sorry if it appears that I've been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger. Guess what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me. How can you call this a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and
you beat them over the head with it? I'd rather be supported by wolves than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.


Oh man, you're way too sensitive, Kristi. Good luck with motherhood.
You're goign to need it.

Karen
  #8  
Old May 21st 04, 12:27 AM
denanson
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Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg


"Kristi Carney" wrote in message

I am unsubscribing from this newsgroup because it's not given me the

support
I was seeking or hoping to find.


OK so why not tell uswhat kind of support you are looking for and we will
see what we can do.

I'm sorry if it appears that I've been
whining or wallowing in my own pain, sorrow, grief, and anger.


Yes, that is how it appears. Was I wrong?

Guess what?
Just because some of you have been single parents longer than me... it
doesn't mean you're an expert. It doesn't mean you know everything and it
certainly doesn't give you license to judge me.


The only one doing the judging is you!
As for who is an expert, I would suggest that you consider how these groups
work. Basically, they work on the principal that within a large collection
of people there is a lot of knowledge. In fact IMO in this particular group
of people there is an enourmous amount of specific knowledge relating to
lone parenting. The collective dynamic here is staggering! So yes,
collectivly, we are the experts.
However! This does not mean that what any individual says is applicable to
you personally, better to take those snippets that best suit your current
situation and disreguard the rest. (A thick skin comes in handy at this
point)

How can you call this a
support group when someone is reaching out and telling you their story and
you beat them over the head with it?


In the hope that they will have a good long look at their current situation
and see things for themselves.

I'd rather be supported by wolves than
by people who talk to me the way I've been talked to on this board. I'm
sorry I even subscribed in the first place.


Oh well, and I had you marked as someone with a streak of determination and
a will to succeed.
See how deceptive first impressions can be?

Dennis


  #9  
Old May 21st 04, 12:37 AM
denanson
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Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg


"Tiffany" wrote in message

Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see!


New computer that would not get the groups, new woman friend, new salsa
classes as well as the ballroom, work on the house, busy with the day job
and Freddie as demanding as ever.
I take time out to try and give Kristi a few pointers and look at the thanks
I get!

I have been reading the group though, sorry to hear of you personal
tragedies, my thoughts were with you both.

Dennis


  #10  
Old May 21st 04, 12:52 AM
Tiffany
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Circle in a Square Peg


"denanson" Dennis@Large .ie wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message

Oh heck, I didn't know that was D! Hey D... long time no see!


New computer that would not get the groups, new woman friend, new salsa
classes as well as the ballroom, work on the house, busy with the day job
and Freddie as demanding as ever.
I take time out to try and give Kristi a few pointers and look at the

thanks
I get!

I have been reading the group though, sorry to hear of you personal
tragedies, my thoughts were with you both.

Dennis



Thank you. With all the good advice and support I got, we seem to have made
it through it for now. I know long term issues will arise and S will be
getting involved in a local organization that deal directly with children
who have lost loved ones.

Wow..... I got support. I must be one of the lucky few.

T


 




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