Kids are Worth It

Robyn Kozierok wrote:


Such as, 4yo refuses to get into the car or sit in his seat to get
buckled.
I have a problem because I have somewhere I need to get (say, to pick
up his brothers after school). He doesn't have a problem, unless I
get
angry, which I'd rather not have to do.

In my family, the logical consequence of not getting into your car seat
is that a parent physically does it for you.

Jan

Scott wrote:

This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

From "out of bed" to "out the door" is about 20-30 minutes. However,
our routine for a nightowl kid with ADD (parents of ADDers will know
the sleep struggles that can entail!) takes quite a bit longer. The
timeline goes something like this:

6:15 - first gentle warning that it's morning, time to get up
6:20 - juice delivered, wait until he drinks at least half
6:25 - 5 minute warning that he needs to eat breakfast
6:30 - breakfast ordered
6:35 - breakfast served in bed (I know, I know, but it really helps..)
6:45 - breakfast eaten, the light goes back out and he goes back to
sleep
7:00 - warning that it's almost time to get up for real
7:05 - final "5 minute" warning ("I really mean it this time")
7:10 - out of bed to the shower
7:40 - out the door (unless we have lost items, which is often - ADD
again)

The juice was a suggestion years ago on this newsgroup and it has been
a lifesaver. We've added the breakfast because otherwise he runs out
of time and doesn't, which will in turn affect his attention issues
plus his migraine headaches... sigh.

Thankfully I leave for work at 6 so I miss virtually all of this on
most morning. DH (Super-D H that is) finds this the simplest way to
start the day. DH showers from 6:35 to 7 and eats his own breakfast
from 7:10 to 7:40. I find it nerverwracking, not unlike a bomb
diffusion scene in an action movie, especially because Henry, while
very sweet and cooperative once he is out of bed, is grumpy about
following all the steps EXACTLY.

I realize this is flame bait for accusations of coddling, but until you
walk a mile in my shoes, I suggest you don't go there. This is a
challenging situation for all of us and if it ain't broke, we're not
fixing it!

(You should see our homework routine if you think this is complicated!)

-Dawn

"Dawn" wrote in message
oups.com...


(You should see our homework routine if you think this is complicated!)

Please give your husband a Best Dad in the Whole Wide World medal for doing
this day after day. I would go insane in about 1 week. :-)

Marjorie

"Scott" wrote in message
...
beeswing wrote:
This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

DD (12.5) walks to her middle school this time of year when the weather is
good. She awakens at 6:30 and is out the door by 7:20 to get to school by
7:45, just in time for her bagel and to start the day. School starts at
8:05.

She does this completely by herself, and I rarely even hear her get up and
ready unless she wakes me for some question or comment. This is one part of
growing up that I love.

Marjorie

On Thu, 19 May 2005 13:48:28 EDT, Scott
wrote:

beeswing wrote:


The first choice applies to situations where loitering and dawdling and
dragging one's feet are involved. The latter choice is predicated on
the fact that she'll say she is ready, then at the last moment, come up
with all sorts of things that she's "forgotten" to do, like put her
homework in her backpack.


This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

Shrimp is usually out of bed before I am in the morning since he gets
up around 7am and I don't like to get up much before 7.30. Generally
from the time Thud and Mischief get out of bed it's around 40-45
minutes until we get out the door, unless Chickie decides she's going
to starve to death if she isn't fed immediately.

--
Cheryl
Mum to Shrimp (11 Mar 99), Thud (4 Oct 00)
and Mischief (30 Jul 02)

This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

We're out of bed at 6:55 or 7 and the kids are on the bus at 7:15!

Laura

Scott wrote:

[snip]
This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

Your schools all start so early!

Our school starts at 8.55, and we live a five minute walk from it.

The 8yo gets up on her own: she has a self-imposed time table, and gets
very upset if she misses something on it. I think she usually gets up
at 6.30ish, and leaves for school at 8.30. But she has lots of playtime
as well.

My alarm clock goes off at 7.30, and from then on, I act as a ten minute
snooze alarm. At 7.50, I ask the 6yo if she wants to get dressed in my
room, although sometimes she gets dressed on her own. Then I go down with
her to help her with her breakfast. Then I go and get me showered etc.

Meanwhile, I've still been giving the 10yo warnings: sometimes he gets
up earlier, sometimes not. I don't tell him to get up: at least, if he is
still in bed at 8.25, I tell him he has to get up now, and have breakfast.

By 8.30, they have usually all had breakfast, and are allowed to play or
watch TV. At 8.40, they have to wash their faces etc. I'll tell them
it is 8.40, but they know what they have to do then, and usally do it.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Laura Brooks" wrote:

This is a general question for all parents, I guess, 'cause
I'm curious: how much time elapses between when your kid
is out of bed, and out the door to school?

We're out of bed at 6:55 or 7 and the kids are on the bus at 7:15!

My mom would call my sister and me to get up, but I don't remember
what time. I would lie in bed hoping that she would get up and use
the bathroom first because I thought it was unfair that I always had
to go first because she played like she was still asleep.

Plus it took her way longer to dress than it did me because she would
try on two or three outfits (discarding them on the floor) and would
sometimes have to be sent back upstairs to change because she was
dressed inappropriately. But no - I always had to get up first.
(This was in HS BTW.) We had a 5 minute walk to school and I was
often almost late.

DD#1 would get herself up and eat breakfast with her dad after which
she would have plenty of time before she had to be in school - I think
he would leave about 6:30 and she didn't have to be at school until 8
and it was only a 3 block walk.

When DD#2 started kindergarten things got messier. She resisted going
to school, and I would finally have to tell her sister to go without
her and lock her out of the house. She'd spend several minutes
beating on the door and crying before she'd run after her sister.
This only lasted about a week.

I didn't have any trouble that I remember with the kids getting up and
getting themselves dressed and to the bus or to school (depending on
where we were living at the time) until ds came along. The girls
seemed to get themselves up and out without nagging from me.

And I didn't really have any trouble with ds either until 2nd grade
when he took to hiding on the porch roof and various other ways to
play hooky. I had to leave the house myself by about 7:30 because I
had to be at work by 7:45. But his school started at 9:15, and his
bus didn't come until about 8:30. His sisters were all in ms or hs
that started at 8.

Eventually I got so that I took him to work with me (I was teaching at
the ms) and he would sit in the lobby until the bus that he normally
rode let off the ms kids and then he would ride the whole route with
the driver until he got to school. He knew that if he wasn't there,
the driver would come to me to find out why.

grandma Rosalie

animzmirot wrote:

Please give your husband a Best Dad in the Whole Wide World medal for
doing
this day after day. I would go insane in about 1 week. :-)


It drives me insane each time I have to step in and do it! DH and I
thankfully have different skill sets and tolerance levels. He's much
more "if it works, don't sweat it" than I am.

I will pass along your praise to my husband -- the fact that he was
already insane (but in a good way) before we adopted Henry probably
helps ;-)

-Dawn

Penny Gaines wrote:

Your schools all start so early!

Actually -- confession -- our *school* starts at 9:10 a.m. My husband
needs to leave for work at 7 a.m. and I usually get out of the door
between 8 and 8:30. The result of this is that my daughter gets dropped
off at 7 at her before-and-after-school program by my husband. It gives
her time to do any homework she hasn't finished and time to talk and
play with her friends, which she enjoys. So, she likes getting there
early, plus it's a lot easy on me, since I already tend to run late. It
works out well for us.

beeswing