What's really lurking in the a.p.s. basement?

Since it's almost Halloween, now is a good time to tell about the
bogyman in the alt.parenting.spanking basement.

What is it, you might ask, that is so frightening that it dare not see
the light of day? What is so ghastly as to not be even allowed to be a
skeleton in an upstairs closet? What is it that is so horrible that it
must not even be named? So alarming that even its very existence must
be denied?

It's the sex thing. No, not that sex thing, Stupid! Get your hands
out of your pants. That's what the a.p.s. goon squad wants you to
think. That's how they keep the monster so well hidden in the
basement.

Here's the deal. Everyone knows that little boys get spanked more than
little girls. The problem at a.p.s. is little girls still get spanked
after they become big girls. Big boys don't get spanked nearly as
much.

Unequal treatment occurs because, as they mature, the brains of boys
and girls process acute pain differently. Estrogen creates a lower
threshold of pain while testosterone creates a higher pain threshold.
SPANKING IS A MORE EFFECTIVE DETERRENT TO BAD BEHAVIOR FOR BIG GIRLS
than it is for big boys because, as an acute pain, smacking their bare
behind hurts big girls more than it does big boys.

This is where the really scary part comes. It is the thoroughly
old-fashioned idea that girls never get too old to spank. Boo! No big
deal. Right?

Only for politically correct junkies, whose fix is absolute equality
between the sexes, the idea of big girls getting spanked is a million
times worse than having hallucinations of Freddy Krueger and Jason
Voorhees chasing them down Elm Street at midnight on Friday the 13th!
This is a beast that must be chained in the basement and never allowed
to see the light of day.

The real problem for the aging a.p.s. goon squad is that even today's
teenagers are quite aware of the monster in the basement. Today teens
are not only a wired, but also a wireless generation. With bulletin
boards, cell phones, chat rooms, e-mail, newsgroups, and PDAs galore,
the once closely guarded secret is out there. Not only is it out
there, it is talked about. There are even questions about *how can I
get my parents to spank me?*.

Schoolteachers and other mandatory reporters under CAPTA are not longer
in the loop. Girls, especially, are sophisticated enough to separate
bending over a desk in front of a stranger at school from having to go
over Mom's lap at home.

Now that you know about the ogre in the basement, have a Happy
Halloween while you watch the a.p.s. goon squad go nuts trying to say
that their monster doesn't exist. Also have fun watching them as they
put on scary electronic faces in an effort to chase off the person who
let the cat out of the bag on their doorstep. (If you are from certain
parts of Europe, forget the Happy Halloween; you're not supposed to be
celebrating it.)

The real problem is hitting hurting any child in the name of discipline,
or otherwise known as "spanking." It's not a question of race or gender
or fairness. It's a question of hurting children, any and all children,
and calling the barbaric practice discipline.

LaVonne

Opinions wrote:

Since it's almost Halloween, now is a good time to tell about the
bogyman in the alt.parenting.spanking basement.

What is it, you might ask, that is so frightening that it dare not see
the light of day? What is so ghastly as to not be even allowed to be a
skeleton in an upstairs closet? What is it that is so horrible that it
must not even be named? So alarming that even its very existence must
be denied?

It's the sex thing. No, not that sex thing, Stupid! Get your hands
out of your pants. That's what the a.p.s. goon squad wants you to
think. That's how they keep the monster so well hidden in the
basement.

Here's the deal. Everyone knows that little boys get spanked more than
little girls. The problem at a.p.s. is little girls still get spanked
after they become big girls. Big boys don't get spanked nearly as
much.

Unequal treatment occurs because, as they mature, the brains of boys
and girls process acute pain differently. Estrogen creates a lower
threshold of pain while testosterone creates a higher pain threshold.
SPANKING IS A MORE EFFECTIVE DETERRENT TO BAD BEHAVIOR FOR BIG GIRLS
than it is for big boys because, as an acute pain, smacking their bare
behind hurts big girls more than it does big boys.

This is where the really scary part comes. It is the thoroughly
old-fashioned idea that girls never get too old to spank. Boo! No big
deal. Right?

Only for politically correct junkies, whose fix is absolute equality
between the sexes, the idea of big girls getting spanked is a million
times worse than having hallucinations of Freddy Krueger and Jason
Voorhees chasing them down Elm Street at midnight on Friday the 13th!
This is a beast that must be chained in the basement and never allowed
to see the light of day.

The real problem for the aging a.p.s. goon squad is that even today's
teenagers are quite aware of the monster in the basement. Today teens
are not only a wired, but also a wireless generation. With bulletin
boards, cell phones, chat rooms, e-mail, newsgroups, and PDAs galore,
the once closely guarded secret is out there. Not only is it out
there, it is talked about. There are even questions about *how can I
get my parents to spank me?*.

Schoolteachers and other mandatory reporters under CAPTA are not longer
in the loop. Girls, especially, are sophisticated enough to separate
bending over a desk in front of a stranger at school from having to go
over Mom's lap at home.

Now that you know about the ogre in the basement, have a Happy
Halloween while you watch the a.p.s. goon squad go nuts trying to say
that their monster doesn't exist. Also have fun watching them as they
put on scary electronic faces in an effort to chase off the person who
let the cat out of the bag on their doorstep. (If you are from certain
parts of Europe, forget the Happy Halloween; you're not supposed to be
celebrating it.)