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16 yr old daughter's first boyfriend
Hello,
I am a single parent of a 16 yr old daughter. She is by far an extremely smart, loving, responsible kid --- but lately she has changed a bit. She started working for the first time this summer where she met this kid she now calls boyfriend (BF). She is 16, going to be a junior and he is 18, recent graduate. She asked if she could start dating this kid so I told her not until I was to meet him, which I did. He seemed ok to me so I allowed her to have her first BF, laid some rules down (but no specifics) and began to worry. Right off the bat, after a few days of dating we get into a HUGE fight because she has a small red mark on her neck, a HICKEY to be precise, which I (like usual) blow up and tell her to quit her job and stop dating this boy. She begins to cry like I've never seen her cry so ofcourse this is also hurting me... what do I do, I make more rules and allow her to continue seeing this boy. Some time later I find out this kid hangs out with a 23 guy which makes me uneasy, tells me that her BF is trying to grow up fast because he has graudated and 18. I at this point do not allow her to leave and hang out with him alone, she can only see him if he comes here to the house. Later one evening I get her cell phone, which I never do, and she jumps and pleads with me not to look at her pictures, which her uneasy behavior made me want to look even more, and I find a picture the her BF sent her of his PENIS!!! I lost it, yet again, and told her she was not allowed to see him again. Right now she has been crying and becoming increasingly depressed and it hurts me to see her so sad, but I am afraid of this kids intentions. Did I over re-act, should I lay down more rules and continue to allow them to see each other, should I stick to my guns and stop this relationship? Please help I am not feeling good (health wise) because I feel like what if I am over re-acting that maybe if I had a father figure around this would not be happening. She is embarrassed for me to bring this up to my family for advice but they that leaves me not being able to talk to anyone about this, which is killing me inside. HELP!!!! |
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