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  #1  
Old October 31st 05, 09:58 PM
Claire Petersky
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Default Halloween candy

My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.

What do you think?

Warm Regards,

Claire

Claire Petersky )
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at:
http://bookcrossing.com/referr*al/Cpetersky



__________________________________
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  #2  
Old October 31st 05, 10:49 PM
Scott
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

Claire Petersky wrote:
My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.

What do you think?

Warm Regards,


You already know the answer. Self-control is
woefully lacking at your house, and you live
with rude people

When you girls get Halloween candy, does some
of it mysteriously disappear? (This would
NEVER work with our dear Mr. Count Every Piece
Several Times A Day son) -- or is it only
"your" stuff that vanishes. Maybe you shouldn't
be so nice. When you're hankering for tea &
shortcake, and the shortcake has vanished,
maybe someone should be forced to make a
shortbread run. If the Halloween candy has
vanished, maybe someone else should go
buy some.

Scott DD 12 and DS 9

  #3  
Old November 1st 05, 12:26 AM
Penny Gaines
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Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

Claire Petersky wrote:

My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.


Who ate it? How often is there candy in the house that is up for grabs,
and how often is there candy which has a specific purpose?

Personally, I could buy candy or chocolate months in advance and still
have it there for the occasion. Dh tends to assume such things have
been bought to be eaten and tends to offer them round sooner rather then
saving them eg for Christmas.

Basically, did the person who ate it *know* it was for a specific purpose,
or did they just eat it? Because if it was the former, its a
self-discipline failing on their part, if it was the later, it was
a communication problem on your part.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.


Was it the same person as the phantom candy eater?

Just a thought - are you little'uns at that stage of turning into starving
teenagers, who are just plain hungry? Are there alternatives for hungry
kids?

Basically, I haven't any solutions, just sympathy, and it is clearly
*all their fault*.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

  #4  
Old November 1st 05, 12:27 AM
Banty
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

In article m, Claire Petersky
says...

My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.

What do you think?

Warm Regards,

Claire


There is Who's Right, and then there is How To Manage Human Affairs.

Which do you want to know about?

Cheers,
Banty

  #5  
Old November 1st 05, 03:29 AM
Claire Petersky
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy


"Banty" wrote in message
...

There is Who's Right, and then there is How To Manage Human Affairs.


A friend emailed me this, in reply to this posting:

First, she quoted from the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created
equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain
unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the
pursuit of Candy. --That to secure these rights, Women are
instituted among Men, deriving their just desserts from the consent
of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Ingestion becomes
destructive of these snacks, it is the Right of the Wife to alter
or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its
foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such
form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and
Happiness.


She then went on to say:

Moreover, modern jurisprudence generally holds that these rights
apply broadly to Scottish shortbread and other bakery products
consumed by consenting adults.

Some legal scholars have opined that Walker's
(http://www.walkersshortbread.com/walkers.htm ) was only established
in 1898 and therefore their biscuits could not have fallen within the
Founders' original intent. But other groups, consider this position
to be ideologically suspect.

Feminist interest groups claim that Supreme Court nominee Samuel A.
Alito Jr. adheres to this school of thought, and are combing his 15-
year history of more than 200 Appellate court rulings for tell-tale
crumbs. The White House and its allies, now squarely united, are
ready to paint the such objections as obstructionist and out of step
if they try to derail the nomination by extraordinary means. Interest
groups on both sides are prepared to spend millions of dollars to
make their case.

"We will look to keep Democrats on their heels as they go out to
launch some of the more absurd attacks," said a senior White House
aide who spoke on condition of anonymity while licking his fingers to
avoid violating the administration's taboo on disclosing internal
snacktime maneuvering. "There's no person that this president would
pick who could please some of the extreme elements of their party."

But it is not clear how widespread the appetite for all-out warfare
will be among the public at large, or even among Senators, at a time
of so many other pressing problems.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at:
http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky

  #6  
Old November 1st 05, 03:42 AM
dragonlady
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

In article m,
Claire Petersky wrote:

My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.

What do you think?

Warm Regards,

Claire


Ah, yes -- the wonderful challenges of not living alone!

The issue of buying stuff that's a special treat for Mom (or whomever):
generally speaking, I don't approve of having special treats in the
house that are only for one person -- especially true if it's something
expensive. When my kids were at the locusting stage, I basically gave
up on keeping treats in the house for more than 24 hours -- if there was
something special I wanted for myself, I bought it and ate it before
they got home (or bought enough to share, and ate it with them) -- but I
didn't expect cookies or bagals to last.

When I buy something that's for a specific purpose (Halloween candy, or
something intended for a special dinner, for example) I put it in a
grocery bag, tie it, and label the bag. I don't expect anyone
(including DH) to know not to eat it otherwise. That seems to be
working.

These days, we DO have food in the house that's just for DH or just for
me, mostly stuff we have to pack for lunches. It's important that it BE
there when we go to pack a lunch! Again, we put it in a bag and tie the
bag -- the kids all know that anything in a tied bag is for a specific
purpose, and not to be touched.

This approach seems to be working with less accromony than just
reminding people not to locust through things.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

  #7  
Old November 1st 05, 02:26 PM
animzmirot
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy


"dragonlady" wrote in message
...
In article m,
Claire Petersky wrote:
The issue of buying stuff that's a special treat for Mom (or whomever):

generally speaking, I don't approve of having special treats in the
house that are only for one person -- especially true if it's something
expensive. When my kids were at the locusting stage, I basically gave
up on keeping treats in the house for more than 24 hours -- if there was
something special I wanted for myself, I bought it and ate it before
they got home (or bought enough to share, and ate it with them) -- but I
didn't expect cookies or bagals to last.


With two teenagers who are constantly STARVING, I can't expect that anything
is going to remain in our house untouched, be it cheese, chocolate, or milk.
It it's in the house, it's for eating. If I purchase something that I
specifically want, and the kids like that item (very rare), I either put in
a plastic bag and label it, or share it. I think a family member should not
be so controlling as to hog an item for themselves and not share it. That's
the way our family works. Mostly, if there is something I like and want for
myself, it's something odd like Brussel Sprouts or something my kids would
rather die than eat, like Lasagna. I'm fortunate that they don't like a lot
of stuff that I do, so that I don't have to bogart anything. I usually try
to buy things that everyone likes, so I'll buy 10 yogurts in a week, some of
them that DS likes, some that DD likes, and some that I like. We tend to
gravitate to what we like and leave the rest to someone else.

With that said, I think anyone that buys halloween candy 3 weeks ahead of
time and expects it to still be there is either from another planet or
living in denial. If you have children, they're going to want to eat candy.
I usually buy a couple of bags before the holiday to keep the kids happy.
This year we got Junior Mints and Charleston Chews and that kept them happy
until Sunday, when we hit the grocery stores for the big haul. When I buy
the big haul, I only buy candy I don't like. I hate KitKats, but DS loves
them, so I'll get a bag of those. I absolutely HATE any fruity candy like
Dots, but DD loves those, so I'll get some of those. Then I know I'm not
going to be tempted, and they can eat whatever they can stuff in their
mouths for the next week, and then it gets donated to the food bank.

If you want a food item badly enough, either label it, or hide it or forget
about it, but don't expect that a house with kids is going to respect candy
and cookies just sitting there. That's unfair to kids.


  #8  
Old November 1st 05, 03:52 PM
Claire Petersky
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
Claire Petersky wrote:


Just a thought - are you little'uns at that stage of turning into starving
teenagers, who are just plain hungry? Are there alternatives for hungry
kids?


I guess I should have made this clear. In the past, I've hidden the
Halloween candy, but told the kids about its location. They would modestly
raid it, nothing too crazy. This year I didn't hide it. The kids again just
ate a few out of there. It's my *husband* that was demolishing it!

As for other things to eat -- the kids eat a lot of fruit. I buy two five
pound bags of apples, plus other fruit like a bunch of bananas or a bag of
oranges, on the order of every two or three days. I can't believe how fast
they go through that. A loaf of bread used to go moldy -- now I buy two
loaves every shopping trip. Yes, they're eating quite a bit as they grow,
but it's not necessarily Halloween chocolates.

As for the shortbread, my husband doesn't eat that stuff, so I assume it's a
kid. I don't mind other people eating it, I just want to know when it's
nearly gone or gone so I can buy more. It's not nice to eat the last one and
not tell me -- or to put an empty package back on the shelf.

--
Warm Regards,

Claire Petersky
Personal page: http://www.geocities.com/cpetersky/
See the books I've set free at:
http://bookcrossing.com/referral/Cpetersky

  #9  
Old November 1st 05, 03:52 PM
Scott
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

animzmirot wrote:

With that said, I think anyone that buys halloween candy 3 weeks ahead of
time and expects it to still be there is either from another planet or
living in denial. If you have children, they're going to want to eat candy.


I must have the world's most unusual 4th-grader, as he
doesn't have much of a sweet tooth. He apparently will
eat sweets only if he's actually hungry, and he
will frequently turn down offers of milk chocolate (!!!!!!)
He brought home an overwhelming amount of candy last
night (23 Reese's peanut butter cups alone!) -- I'm sure
we'll be throwing some of it out in January sometime.

The most eye-opening thing he got: a 2-ounce bar of
70% cocoa chocolate (!). Dark chocolate is something
he does like -- although he won't seek it out. DD
has already tried to bargain it away from him. Good
luck with that, I think

Perhaps I will be singing a different tune when he's
a teen, but for the moment sweets disappear in our house
because the BH or I eat them, not because our kids do.
Anyone in our house can say "I would like to save the
x in the fridge/pantry for later" and expect it to
be there.

Scott DD 12 and DS 9

  #10  
Old November 1st 05, 04:36 PM
Banty
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Posts: n/a
Default Halloween candy

In article ,
dragonlady says...

In article m,
Claire Petersky wrote:

My husband thinks it's unreasonable for me to buy Halloween candy 3 weeks
in advance, and for me to expect that there still to be Halloween candy in
the house by Halloween. Since I managed not to eat any Halloween candy, I
don't think this is so unreasonable to expect others to exercise similar
self-discipline.

Similarly, I don't think it's totally out of line for me to buy a small
package of say, Scottish Shortbread, announce to the family that it was
expressly purchased for my personal benefit and expect that there might be
a piece of shortbread in the package at any one time. In other words,
since you know Mom bought it for her personal benefit, if it gets down to
just one piece of shortbread in the package, you tell Mom that there's
only one piece so she can buy more, as opposed to eating that last piece.
Even worse, eating that last piece and leaving the empty package on the
shelf such that she believes there might still be a piece available. Thus,
when Mom has a hankering for shortbread and tea on a Sunday afternoon, she
won't be disappointed.

What do you think?

Warm Regards,

Claire


Ah, yes -- the wonderful challenges of not living alone!


Yep. In my house, with only me and my son, it hasn't been such a problem. But
that is through a combination of making clear what's for an occasion, and
getting/making enough that it isn't much of a temptation

I actually *don't* think it's churlish or controlling or
pick-your-favorite-condemnation-of-someone-who-has-what-you-wanna-but-won't-let-hava
to obtain things for oneself, or for the future. One would think that civilized
people can develop some consideration and self-control and not locust (great
word!) whatever's around within arm's reach. That's not exactly one of the more
constructive traits to have in a person, that they think that whatever they lay
eyes on therefore should be for their use. So I think Claire is *right*.

Reminds me of the time, when in grad school, I went for an errand for supplies.
I was *starving* and picked up some pot-stickers (pan-fried Chinese dumplings,
what they call them in California) on the way back with said supplies to the
office. Well, the smell of pot-stickers meant that my research group dove into
MY lunch without much of a thanks, and left me - ONE. Those kind souls, having
also benefitted from my having run an errand for them, left me ONE little ol'
pot sticker for my sustenance for the rest of the day. Lesson learned: don't
walk around in smell-range of anyone you know with uneaten pot-stickers!

So, experience with all this and many kinds of shared living situations tells me
that, temptation being large in a lot of personal makeups, and the notion that
what-ain't-communal-must-be-anal-retentive being so widespread, it behooves one
to manage these things rather than tilting windmills about this particular set
of human failings. What's *right* often isn't the same as what *works*. And,
if hubby isn't weighing in as to the value of respecting boundaries when it
comes to goodies, what one is left with is:

* Buying/bringing enough to share if there's much chance of encountering
household members with goodies in hand.
* Setting aside or even hiding what's personal or for special occasions (no
that's not rude or anal-retentive, that's just plain survival)
* Getting goodies only when needed (consider it upgrading to JIT delivery to
avoid invetory costs)

Cheers,
Banty ("WOW POT STICKERS!!" "Wait!" "HEY Warren Banty brought pot stickers!"
"No, wait!" ::munch:: ::munch:: ::munch:: ::munch:

 




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