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#1
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Venting about O/B (long)
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a
few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here. I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11 weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks later, and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything important they would call me. When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet. He did say that my pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at it for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth. Alarm bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general, and am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then. The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came into my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns, and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to Dr. F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do it for me if there were any problems. I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the phone necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office which showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with this? Isn't this something I should have known right away? Dr. D. also didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea, and the AFP screening wasn't part of the blood tests he ordered for me. She ordered all of those and then looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it removed and biopsied tomorrow. I also will be scheduled for genetic counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I don't see the advantage. I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry about Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend any effort on me, but I probably will never know. Other than all that, everything is just fine!! I've gained too much weight but I'm healthy and happy, so thanks for reading this far if you have, it feels good to vent... Wish me luck on the mole removal tomorrow, I feel pretty good that it's just a pesky mole and just will be glad that it's gone! Cheers, Alexis EDD 4/21/2004, first baby! |
#2
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Venting about O/B (long)
Auntie Bubbles wrote:
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here. I am glad you found a doctor you are more comfortable with, but I must confess I am confused about why you are so angry. To me, my health is my personal responsibility, and if I have a bloodtest done, I will call back for the results if I don't hear anything. I will also *always* ask which tests they will perform, and why they are doing them. You cannot only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you about test results. It is your body, and you should take responsibility for it. If you wanted certain tests done, you should have asked if they were included. IMHO you have been equally negligible as Dr. D. Of course it is important to have a doctor you feel totally at ease with. But please do not expect them to be miracle workers that know all the answers. Do as much reading as you can, educate yourself on what happens to you during pregancy and childbirth. You are the one who carries the baby and has to deliver it, and that implies that *you* make the decisions on what will happen, not your OB/GYN. -- -- I mommy to DS (16m) guardian of DH (32) TTC #2 War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left |
#3
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Venting about O/B (long)
"Ilse Witch" wrote in message ... Auntie Bubbles wrote: Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here. I am glad you found a doctor you are more comfortable with, but I must confess I am confused about why you are so angry. To me, my health is my personal responsibility, and if I have a bloodtest done, I will call back for the results if I don't hear anything. I will also *always* ask which tests they will perform, and why they are doing them. You cannot only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you about test results. It is your body, and you should take responsibility for it. If you wanted certain tests done, you should have asked if they were included. IMHO you have been equally negligible as Dr. D. Of course it is important to have a doctor you feel totally at ease with. But please do not expect them to be miracle workers that know all the answers. Do as much reading as you can, educate yourself on what happens to you during pregancy and childbirth. You are the one who carries the baby and has to deliver it, and that implies that *you* make the decisions on what will happen, not your OB/GYN. You're right of course. I am angry with myself as well. However, I pointed out in my post that this is my first pregnancy. I told the Dr. this as well. I have read this group and other materials every day and am learning as I go. The only experience I have had with doctors as an adult has been when I have needed stitches or was in pain. I have never had health insurance until now, and no experience with blood tests or other testing of any kind. I didn't know what the AFP screening was at my first visit, so I didn't know to ask for it. There is a lot to know in a short time. I suspect this situation exists for other women who read this group, and I hope that through my ignorance and your knowledge someone else may be able to avoid this situation. I DID trust my Dr. to do what was best for me. I know better now, but I'm not happy about it. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Alexis |
#4
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Venting about O/B (long)
Auntie Bubbles wrote:
snip The only experience I have had with doctors as an adult has been when I have needed stitches or was in pain. I have never had health insurance until now, and no experience with blood tests or other testing of any kind. I didn't know what the AFP screening was at my first visit, so I didn't know to ask for it. There is a lot to know in a short time. That's true. But don't despair: there is lots of excellent literature out there. Unfortunately, there are also so many things you can do, so many tests you can have done, that it is no surprise you cannot see the forest for the trees. All the more important to have a doctor who 'fits' you and can help you best. I DID trust my Dr. to do what was best for me. I know better now, but I'm not happy about it. I can totally imagine. I've been in a similar situation, and only in retrospect I could just kick myself for being so stupid. As pointed out in another thread, many doctors do not have your best interest in mind, but their own. Thankfully, this group is full of women (and some men) who have a good common sense and can help you out if you just don't know what to do anymore. So good for you that you switched and are OK with your doctor now, and whenever you have more questions, don't hesitate to post! Thanks for taking the time to reply. Anytime -- -- I mommy to DS (16m) guardian of DH (32) TTC #2 War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left |
#5
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Venting about O/B (long)
"Auntie Bubbles" wrote in message ... Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here. I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11 weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an amnio, Wow, I wouldn't lke that either. and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks later, and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything important they would call me. Usually that's the way it works. When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet. That's annoying. Lab's fault though, not his. Although someone should have checked before your appointment. He did say that my pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at it for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth. Alarm bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general, and am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then. If it physically bothers you, that's enough to remove it IMO. The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came into my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns, and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to Dr. F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do it for me if there were any problems. I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the phone necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office which showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with this? Isn't this something I should have known right away? My sister found out she was not immune to rubella I think when she was TTC. She got a shot and had to wait 3 months to TTC again. I think you should have known that before you got pregnant. Dr. D. also didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea, Not all pap/exams test for everything. and the AFP screening wasn't part of the blood tests he ordered for me. It shouldhave been ordered at your 2nd appointment (15 weeks if I did the math right). She ordered all of those and then looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it removed and biopsied tomorrow. I also will be scheduled for genetic counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I don't see the advantage. I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry about Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend any effort on me, but I probably will never know. Other than all that, everything is just fine!! I've gained too much weight but I'm healthy and happy, so thanks for reading this far if you have, it feels good to vent... Wish me luck on the mole removal tomorrow, I feel pretty good that it's just a pesky mole and just will be glad that it's gone! Cheers, Alexis EDD 4/21/2004, first baby! Good luck with the mole. To me it's a lot your Dr's fault but it's also smart of the patient to be up on things like asking what tests he's doing - you should know the right answer before you ask I hope you like your new Dr. Sophie #4 due 7/18/04 |
#6
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Venting about O/B (long)
Auntie Bubbles wrote:
Hi all, I'm 39 years old and 19 weeks along with my first baby, and have a few things going on right now. I'm just sort of venting here. I changed O/B's after my second visit with Dr. D. My first visit (at 11 weeks) was fine, I guess. He answered my questions and gave me a pelvic exam and pap smear and sent me to the lab for blood work. He asked me to decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. I figured that if they showed anything abnormal I would be notified right away and could schedule an amnio if needed. I made my second appt. for 4 weeks later, and went on my merry way, figuring that if my blood work showed anything important they would call me. When I went in for my second visit, they discovered that my blood work hadn't arrived back at their office from the lab yet. He did say that my pap smear was normal and let me listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler device. I asked him to look at a mole on my labia that had been growing since the start of the pregnancy and was becoming painful. He looked at it for two seconds and said "it's nothing to worry about." I asked him about removing it, he basically said it was more trouble than it was worth. Alarm bells were chiming gently by then. I say gently because I have no experience in this area, and little experience with doctors in general, and am intimidated by them and didn't know how to react just then. The next day, a woman who works at the medical group I belong to came into my restaurant for lunch. I am friendly with her and told her my concerns, and she winced when I gave her Dr. D's name. She begged me to switch to Dr. F, and gave me all the info I needed to do it, even said that she would do it for me if there were any problems. I contacted the medical group the next day and spent the hours on the phone necessary to make the switch to Dr. F. He works with a nurse/midwife who sees the patients at the medical group. Linda spent a lot of time with me last week, and she did the legwork to get my blood work to her office which showed that I am NOT immune to measles! Anyone else here ever dealt with this? Isn't this something I should have known right away? Well, yes and no. There's nothing you can do about it at this point except avoid people with measles. Is it measles or rubella that you're not immune to? I know rubella is a big problem if you contract the disease, but I'm less sure of the effects of getting measles while pregnant. Still, you should have been informed of your results. Dr. D. also didn't swab me for chlamydia or gonorrhea, Whether this is standard varies by practitioner, so this isn't *necessarily* a big problem, particularly if you're at low risk for STDs. and the AFP screening wasn't part of the blood tests he ordered for me. This may have been because you declined the amnio, since AFP is pretty much just a screening test that tells you if you're at increased risk and might benefit from more expensive/invasive screening. The AFP has a very high false positive rate, so many decide it isn't worth the frustration if you're not going to do additional testing. At your age, the AFP is almost certainly going to come back "positive." On the other hand, I've never heard of anyone who asked you to decline an amnio in writing before ever hearing of other test results! That sounds very fishy. She ordered all of those and then looked at my mole on my request, and the upshot is that I am having it removed and biopsied tomorrow. I know nothing about moles and the appropriate treatment for them. I also will be scheduled for genetic counseling. I still will probably decline the amnio, at this point I don't see the advantage. I am so glad to have made this switch, but I can't help feeling angry about Dr. D. and what seems like his negligence. It seemed like Dr. D. was just waiting around for me to have a miscarriage so he wouldn't have to expend any effort on me, but I probably will never know. I doubt it was that, and there's nothing you said that screams negligence at me, though I think that asking you to decline amnio so early and not getting you your test results back promptly certainly doesn't sound good. Of course, he may be a horrible doctor--I just can't tell from what you've said so far. Since you friend seemed really horrified by him and since you like your new caregiver, it sounds like a really good idea that you switched anyway. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth! Ericka |
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Venting about O/B (long)
Hi Alexis
I wouldn't have phoned up for my test results either - last time I did they said not to as they would get in touch with me if there was something wrong - so no call - all good. As for the mole - I would have thought with all the talk about skin cancer nowdays he should have been more concerned. Good luck with getting it removed. Camille |
#8
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Venting about O/B (long)
On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 10:21:38 -0500, Ilse Witch wrote:
You cannot only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you about test results. Yes, you can. Yes, it is my responsibility to be informed. However, I am *paying* the doctor to be the expert. He is the one who went to university and medical school to be a doctor. As I always tell my GP, "You are the one with the training; I am just well read." -- Daye Momma to Jayan "Boy" EDD 11 Jan 2004 See Jayan: http://jayan.topcities.com/ |
#9
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Venting about O/B (long)
On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 04:10:39 GMT, "Auntie Bubbles"
wrote: He asked me to decide right then and put in writing if I wanted to decline or accept an amnio, and I declined it pending results from the blood tests. Out of all the things that he did that worried me, this is the most worrying. I think I would have found another doctor straight away if my doctor did this. I am sorry that he was such a crappy doctor. Have you thought of telling the local medical board or the AMA (I am not sure which country you are in) about what happened? You were lucky that you had someone help you. What about those women who aren't? I think I would lodge a complaint against him. However, I am glad that you like your new doctor and things seem to be going better. -- Daye Momma to Jayan "Boy" EDD 11 Jan 2004 See Jayan: http://jayan.topcities.com/ |
#10
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Venting about O/B (long)
Daye wrote:
On Wed, 26 Nov 2003 10:21:38 -0500, Ilse Witch wrote: You cannot only blame your doctor for not performing tests and not calling you about test results. Yes, you can. Yes, it is my responsibility to be informed. However, I am *paying* the doctor to be the expert. He is the one who went to university and medical school to be a doctor. As I always tell my GP, "You are the one with the training; I am just well read." What I meant to say was: you cannot count on all tests you want to actually be performed. Each doctor has his/her own standard package. A good physician should automatically explain what and why is included, just like a 'good' patient will make sure to be somewhat informed, so they can ask questions. I didn't mean to imply her doctor did a good job, he was obviously sloppy. I agree with your POV, I do the same thing. And when a doctor doesn't appreciate me asking questions, I go and find another -- -- I mommy to DS (16m) guardian of DH (32) TTC #2 War doesn't decide who's right, only who's left |
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