griping

My shrink tells me that “we”, Jennifer and I got pregnant. The
collective pronoun is incorrect here. Yes, we had had sex and that sex
resulted in pregnancy, but the pregnancy was all hers. Perhaps it is
still all hers. How can I know?
I called her again this morning and told her I hoped she was doing
well. I told her that if she needs anything she should let me know. Did
she get the message? Did she go through with it? She hasn’t talked to
me since she left a phone message telling me she was going to abort it.
I was relieved at that and am anxious to find out whether it is done.
Don’t get me wrong here. When I first heard she was pregnant I was
excited. I thought we could raise it together. I thought we could get
married and start a family. I won’t go into the process right now.
Partly because it is still a little confusing. Her initial reaction was
to abort it. Then we flipped sides. At that point she stopped talking
to me. She made it clear first though that she didn’t want to get
married. She was considering raising the baby on her own. Maybe she
still is.
She can hold me hostage for the rest of my life for this. At least
emotionally and financially she can. She could have my kid and I may
never know about it. She could have my kid start it’s life in a
wonderfully American state of family dysfunction. She told me she
thought that yes, the conditions would not be ideal. She said she wants
to have it. I asked why. She said, “It’s responsible”. I’m out. I
can do nothing but wait to see whether I have a child tying me to her
for the next eighteen or twenty years.
Can I ask her if she went through with it? Boy, that would seem
crass. Don’t I know her? Don’t I trust her? How could I possibly ask
her something like that? At this time it should really be “all about her”.
It has nothing to do with me? Well she’s had nothing to do with me
for over a week now and the only thing left is whatever consequence she
chooses to deal me. How could I possibly put my feelings ahead of hers
at this time? How could I be so selfish? How could she let me stew in
my juices like this? Is this revenge for previous generations? She
started our relationship by telling me that her doctor had told her she
couldn’t get pregnant. After the first time we had sex she said the
doctor had told she probably couldn’t get pregnant. Don’t I trust her?
How could I ask something like that? Where’s the ****in’ phone?

"alterepw" wrote in message
...
My shrink tells me that “we”, Jennifer and I got pregnant. The
collective pronoun is incorrect here. Yes, we had had sex and that sex
resulted in pregnancy, but the pregnancy was all hers. Perhaps it is
still all hers. How can I know?
I called her again this morning and told her I hoped she was doing
well. I told her that if she needs anything she should let me know. Did
she get the message? Did she go through with it? She hasn’t talked to
me since she left a phone message telling me she was going to abort it.
I was relieved at that and am anxious to find out whether it is done.
Don’t get me wrong here. When I first heard she was pregnant I was
excited. I thought we could raise it together. I thought we could get
married and start a family. I won’t go into the process right now.
Partly because it is still a little confusing. Her initial reaction was
to abort it. Then we flipped sides. At that point she stopped talking
to me. She made it clear first though that she didn’t want to get
married. She was considering raising the baby on her own.
------------------
First she said this.....and then she said..........
-------------
Maybe she
still is.
She can hold me hostage for the rest of my life for this. At least
emotionally and financially she can. She could have my kid and I may
never know about it. She could have my kid start it’s life in a
wonderfully American state of family dysfunction. She told me she
thought that yes, the conditions would not be ideal. She said she wants
to have it. I asked why. She said, “It’s responsible”.
----------------
......this?!! It's *responsible* to have a kid out of wedlock and raise it
herself? Huh?! No, that's completely irresponsible and selfish to boot!
She obviously doesn't care how screwed up this kids life could be being
raised without a dad. The responsible thing for her to do is abort it and
wait until she is married and they have enough money to bring a kid into
this world.
--------------
I’m out. I
can do nothing but wait to see whether I have a child tying me to her
for the next eighteen or twenty years.
Can I ask her if she went through with it? Boy, that would seem
crass. Don’t I know her? Don’t I trust her? How could I possibly ask
her something like that? At this time it should really be “all about her”.
It has nothing to do with me? Well she’s had nothing to do with me
for over a week now and the only thing left is whatever consequence she
chooses to deal me. How could I possibly put my feelings ahead of hers
at this time? How could I be so selfish? How could she let me stew in
my juices like this? Is this revenge for previous generations? She
started our relationship by telling me that her doctor had told her she
couldn’t get pregnant. After the first time we had sex she said the
doctor had told she probably couldn’t get pregnant. Don’t I trust her?
How could I ask something like that? Where’s the ****in’ phone?
---------------
I think if I were you I would kiss up to her anyway you can until you find
out if she had the abortion or not. I wouldn't do anything to **** her off
at this point. You should go crawling back and say that that you love her
and it's completely up to her whether she keep it or not. But perhaps put
the message through that having a kid is a LOT of work and maybe it would be
best for all concerned, (the baby as well), if she didn't go through with it
at this time. Of course you know she has you by the huevos for the next 18
to 21 years if she decides to keep it.
Keep us posted.

~AZ~