no toys please

If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh

toypup schrieb:
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh


I think it just means no toys... I don't know if things like
(family)games and puzzles and things would be ok, but I would say books
definitely are ok or books on tape/CD...
I know I'm trying to limit the amount of little plastic pieces that make
their way into my sons room. Especially toy cars. He has millions of
them! He keeps getting them from my brothers "stash", from our friends
stash, he buys them with his pocket money (they're about a euro each and
he gets 50 cents every Sunday, except most times we both forget about
it, so it's not like he's buying two/month) or makes my brother bribe
him with them (And my brother falls for it _every damn time_!).

For presents I like things that go with what he already has. A little
packet of Lego or Playmobil (they're 5 euros max here and you get a
little set, like a dog with a basket and a bone or something, or for
lego you get a couple of bricks in different colors).

That said, I'd probably just call and ask the mother what she'd like as
a gift for her child. I think it's just a "please don't make me shoot
you for bringing us the 100th stuffed bear." kind of thing.

cu
nicole

"toypup" wrote in message
...
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh


I think it means no toys but we would love your other filthy lucre. I think
indicating no gifts is Ok. But to tell a gift giver WHAT to give unasked is
rude. But... that said, what are you going to do? I would get a book if it
were me.

Stephanie wrote:
"toypup" wrote in message
...
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh


I think it means no toys but we would love your other filthy lucre. I think
indicating no gifts is Ok. But to tell a gift giver WHAT to give unasked is
rude. But... that said, what are you going to do? I would get a book if it
were me.

If you were giving a gift, would you rather give a gift that the
recipient would use or would you rather give a gift that the recipient
already has 100s of? I think indicating no toys because the kid has
enough toys is perfectly fine.

jeff

In article 8W7gi.2355$YS.974@trnddc03, Jeff says...

Stephanie wrote:
"toypup" wrote in message
...
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh


I think it means no toys but we would love your other filthy lucre. I think
indicating no gifts is Ok. But to tell a gift giver WHAT to give unasked is
rude. But... that said, what are you going to do? I would get a book if it
were me.

If you were giving a gift, would you rather give a gift that the
recipient would use or would you rather give a gift that the recipient
already has 100s of? I think indicating no toys because the kid has
enough toys is perfectly fine.

jeff

I completely understand the reasoning and the temptation (before I read up on
etiquette, I had specified "xxx likes books" to get away from the toy-clutter
problem), but properly, gifts are up to the giver. Birthday parties are not
supposed to be viewed like catalog orders by the party-giver. That's gets more
into grubbing (yes, even though it's the lack of toys that's actually wanted,
it's still I-want-this-I-don't-want-that). You can call and find out what the
child likes, but the parent isn't supposed to put restrictions and requests on
the birthday invite as to gifts. For example, a relative very familliar with
the child may really know they have an idea for THE toy the child would love and
the parent would gladly make an exception for. So - - they bring it. Everyone
else heeded the birthday invite and brought a book, and they see this gift. Now
what. OK, you can blame the relative for not bringing a book instead, but,
since gifts are required at birthday parties, they're stuck with either giving
two gifts (a public and a private one, so to speak), or not giving the gift
they'd really like to give.

It sounds like a good idea to specify something like this, but it really doesn't
work all around. That's why the etiquette rule is there.

Yeah yeah, people increasingly do different things, but then, this is where the
RSVP problem came from, too - people decided they didn't reaaally haaavve to.
They'd rather wait and see what comes up (and, it could be argued, shouldn't the
party-giver really want people who really want to be at the party to be there,
even if they're non-planners?) Lots of things are like that. There's reasons
why there are sets of rules.

Banty

"NL" wrote in message
...
toypup schrieb:
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I
go
to thinking. . . .sigh


I think it just means no toys... I don't know if things like (family)games
and puzzles and things would be ok, but I would say books definitely are
ok or books on tape/CD...
I know I'm trying to limit the amount of little plastic pieces that make
their way into my sons room. Especially toy cars. He has millions of them!
He keeps getting them from my brothers "stash", from our friends stash, he
buys them with his pocket money (they're about a euro each and he gets 50
cents every Sunday, except most times we both forget about it, so it's not
like he's buying two/month) or makes my brother bribe him with them (And
my brother falls for it _every damn time_!).

Hm... Your brother sounds fairly younger... Not real young, but younger than
older - like my brothers. My oldest younger brother is the same way with
DS - and DS has a gazillion cars from way back when that he keeps collecting
from my parents' place lol
I was recently helping my dad clean out their basement (city workers were
coming in to do something with the gas lines and needed access to the
basement) and DS wandered downstairs and found one (of many) boxes of random
toys from when my brothers and I were little. He ended up pocketing as many
toy cars and dinosaurs that his pockets and hands would carry, brought them
upstairs and my brother had to stop him to look at the long lost treasures
that were once his toys. He ended up making some deal with DS and it ended
up that DS carted more toy cars home. My bro sounds a lot like yours lol

For presents I like things that go with what he already has. A little
packet of Lego or Playmobil (they're 5 euros max here and you get a little
set, like a dog with a basket and a bone or something, or for lego you get
a couple of bricks in different colors).

That said, I'd probably just call and ask the mother what she'd like as a
gift for her child. I think it's just a "please don't make me shoot you
for bringing us the 100th stuffed bear." kind of thing.

cu
nicole

And going back to the OT, I agree. All those tiny little toys that get lost
or start missing pieces and get broken... I would think that this is what
the parents are hoping for. To lessen their load of toys that the kid
probably already has too much of. I'd try and stay away from clothes,
though, since most kids don't really care to get clothes from friends -
those gifts are better from family. Call the parent and double check. Ask
what she was thinking - games, books, movies, gift cards, nothing at all?

I wish there WAS a polite way to specify, though. DD's birthday and
Christmas are close together, and really, by the time she gets through her
birthday, she doesn't need much of anything for Christmas-but at least while
she's a toddler, often things given now can't be saved for a few months
because if she's really into it now, that may change in 6 months.

I'm seriously considering celebrating a half-birthday in the summer, and not
doing anything but a cake with family for her real birthday.

On Jun 26, 1:27?am, toypup wrote:
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE," do you think that
means no toys but other gifts are okay or do you think that means no
presents period? My first impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go
to thinking. . . .sigh

I know some people put that in a hopeful attempt at making the guest
know they weren't invited just for another gift, especially if they
haven't seen that person in a while and an adult is invited versus one
of the children's friends. I would probably put in $10 or $20 worth of
$1 bills. The kids always love that and they can put it toward
something big they are dreaming of purchasing themselves or just start
a savings account. I always include my grandfather who lives on a
fixed and limited income and ask him to please not worry about
bringing something along, but he always does.

Jeff wrote in
news:8W7gi.2355$YS.974@trnddc03:

Stephanie wrote:
"toypup" wrote in message
...
If a kid's birthday invitation states "No toys PLEASE,"
do you think that means no toys but other gifts are okay
or do you think that means no presents period? My first
impression was it meant no gifts, but then I go to
thinking. . . .sigh


I think it means no toys but we would love your other
filthy lucre. I think indicating no gifts is Ok. But to
tell a gift giver WHAT to give unasked is rude. But...
that said, what are you going to do? I would get a book if
it were me.

If you were giving a gift, would you rather give a gift
that the recipient would use or would you rather give a
gift that the recipient already has 100s of? I think
indicating no toys because the kid has enough toys is
perfectly fine.

Boo got a bunch of toys for his last birthday, maybe a dozen
or so. of those, all but maybe 2 (which were a Playmobile & a
giant bubblewand) have gone into the trash or to charity.
i think it's a bit rude to specify what kind of gifts are ok,
but i can understand the no toys thing.
oh, & one of his gifts was a gift card to Toys R Us, a place
i generally dislike (i'm a fan of small independant toy
shops). because he had the gift card i took him there & let
him look around. there was not *one toy* he wanted there...
and you can't cash in gift cards. i'm so sad that person
wasted their money
lee

In article , Donna Metler says...

I wish there WAS a polite way to specify, though. DD's birthday and
Christmas are close together, and really, by the time she gets through her
birthday, she doesn't need much of anything for Christmas-but at least while
she's a toddler, often things given now can't be saved for a few months
because if she's really into it now, that may change in 6 months.

I'm seriously considering celebrating a half-birthday in the summer, and not
doing anything but a cake with family for her real birthday.


I certainly know the feeling. I think yours is a great idea.

Or one can just not have such a big party invite list (fewer presents that way,
and IMO the better way to go anyway). Or anyone (not specifically you) can just
give a party, not billed specifically as a birthday party but close to the
birthday date, with family and a few of the actual friends. People who are
close enough to know it pertains to a birthday can bring a gift just as people
can always give gifts for whatever reason.

I think the main culprit for the birthday toy/clutter problem is this idea that
many kids (even the whole class) has to be invited. If folks could just get off
the Chuck-ee-cheese or hired-clown bandwagon (not meaning you specifically).

Banty