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getting a 4 year old to sleep early
My wife and I have a 4 year old girl that will not go to bed early.
Finally, my wife and I have to put her in bed with us even though she fights us and says she is not sleepy. At 9:00 we all lay in my wife and I's bed and latter at night pick my daughter up and put her in her bed. Is there any way to get her to go to sleep earlier and on her own? Especially maybe so my wife and I can be alone together before we go to bed. |
#2
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getting a 4 year old to sleep early
Hi - If she's staying up late, maybe she's really not tired? Does your daughter still nap during the day? If she does, consider either limiting the length of her nap, napping only on alternate days, or eliminating nap altogether in favor of "quiet time" (where she engages in a quiet activity, such as reading or watching a video) by herself. Does she get enough exercise? Especially outdoor exercise? Our sons still don't fall asleep easily if they haven't run around enough. And running around outdoors seems to be much more tiring than doing the same indoors. If your child doesn't run around enough naturally, consider signing her up for a class that will give her a good workout. Our kids both started tae kwon do at age 4 1/2, and they both sleep BEAUTIFULLY on TKD nights. But anything very active will do. Look at her diet. Is she eating something for dinner that's giving her an energy rush? We can't let our kids eat chocolate at night, or anything with MSG or caffeine, as it will keep them awake late. On the other hand, carbs, like pasta, make them sleepy. If, on the other hand, the problem is that she's sleepy but keeps herself awake, then you've got a parenting issue. To solve this one we: 1. Are VERY firm. Children who get out of bed after lights out, for any reason other than a quick trip to the bathroom, are in trouble. 2. Have an evening ritual of dinner, bath, read aloud, trip to the dreamstore (to pick out a good dream, and I pick ones that will give them something to think about while dozing off), then lights out. Your evening ritual may vary. If you tell your daughter that she needs a good sleep to have a good tomorrow, and then are VERY firm and consistent, even if she cries and screams and runs back out of the bedroom, I bet that within a week she'll become accustomed to the new routine and start going to sleep when and where she should. DO NOT backslide! If you give in ** even once ** then she'll keep testing the limits about bedtime! She's old enough now that crying and screaming, or complaining and whining, are manipulative behaviors. It's GOOD that she's learning to manipulate; it's part of developing her understanding of how much control she has over her world. BUt you need to be aware of when she's doing it, and consistent in areas where you don't want her manpipulating you. And apparently bedtime is one of those areas. I hope this all makes sense. --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
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getting a 4 year old to sleep early
"Don" wrote in message
m... My wife and I have a 4 year old girl that will not go to bed early. Finally, my wife and I have to put her in bed with us even though she fights us and says she is not sleepy. At 9:00 we all lay in my wife and I's bed and latter at night pick my daughter up and put her in her bed. Is there any way to get her to go to sleep earlier and on her own? Especially maybe so my wife and I can be alone together before we go to bed. Beth gave you marvelous advice and information. Let me just add that some children, who are not napping, who are getting up at a reasonable hour in the morning well rested, do not need to go to sleep as early as other children of similar age. My DS, my darling DS, is one of those children. From a very young age he was a night owl, which resulted in me finding usenet! After naps were deleted he continued to sleep from about 10 pm to 6 or 6:30 a.m. and have lots of energy throughout the day without lagging from lack of sleep. I finally decided that it was *my* desire to have him in bed that was the issue, not his failure to be asleep at 8 pm. So, i rephrased the whole thing. He gets ready for bed beginning at 8:30 and must be in/on bed at 9. I allow reading in bed or another quite on the bed activity until about 9:30, then go in and finish our bedtime routine with prayers and goodnight hugs. He is soon asleep afterwards, and up at 6 am, bright eyed and bushy tailed. I've been doing that since he was about 4, with some variations when husband worked nights. So, unless you have a clear problem with a tired cranky child in the day time or a child who can't get going in the a.m., why not consider that maybe your child is not one who needs to go to sleep early in the evenings? -Aula |
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getting a 4 year old to sleep early
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getting a 4 year old to sleep early
"Don" wrote in message m... Xref: news-g.iadfw.net misc.kids.moderated:26117 My wife and I have a 4 year old girl that will not go to bed early. Finally, my wife and I have to put her in bed with us even though she fights us and says she is not sleepy. At 9:00 we all lay in my wife and I's bed and latter at night pick my daughter up and put her in her bed. Is there any way to get her to go to sleep earlier and on her own? Especially maybe so my wife and I can be alone together before we go to bed. One of the things you can do is have your daughter go to her room to get changed for bed. While she is there, ring some bells & through a few balls on the roof. Then tell her that if she doesn't go right to sleep, Santa won't leave any gifts. Alas, this works but once night a year. Jeff |
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