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Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?



 
 
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  #1  
Old September 17th 06, 12:31 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beeswing
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Posts: 16
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?

Thanks for any insight.

beeswing

  #2  
Old September 17th 06, 01:21 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Rosalie B.
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Posts: 984
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

"beeswing" wrote:

My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

If she's old enough to think of that, then she's probably too old to
go. If one of my kids said something like that it would be instantly
evident to me that they were too old to go.


But actually trick or treat wasn't that big a deal for us.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?

My older kids went out with their little brother and sister sometimes.
I don't remember how long, actually. I know my dd#3 went trick or
treating on her pony (so she would have had to be at least 10 or 11
because that's when she got the pony) as the Headless Horseman. But
we only went in the neighborhood where people knew us. Her brother
was 3 years younger, and her older sisters were 5 and 7 years older..

(And she stayed in the street with the pony while someone else got
her treats for her IIRC - she didn't ride across the lawns or the golf
course). The pony had a reflective thing on his tail, and her 'head'
had a flashlight in it (a pumpkin), and I followed in the car..

  #3  
Old September 17th 06, 01:53 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beeswing
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Posts: 16
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

Rosalie B. wrote:
"beeswing" wrote:

My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

If she's old enough to think of that, then she's probably too old to
go. If one of my kids said something like that it would be instantly
evident to me that they were too old to go.


She's precocious ("gifted," even)...but that doesn't make her old. So
her mental prowess isn't going to be a deciding factor for me. And, for
that matter, she's tall for her age and more developed than some girls
her age.She's gonna *look* older than she is. That confuses the issue
for me, but I don't think I should let it weigh into the issue. It's
not her fault she's big for her age.

But actually trick or treat wasn't that big a deal for us.


For some reason, it's really important to her this year.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?

My older kids went out with their little brother and sister sometimes.
I don't remember how long, actually. I know my dd#3 went trick or
treating on her pony (so she would have had to be at least 10 or 11
because that's when she got the pony) as the Headless Horseman. But
we only went in the neighborhood where people knew us. Her brother
was 3 years younger, and her older sisters were 5 and 7 years older..

(And she stayed in the street with the pony while someone else got
her treats for her IIRC - she didn't ride across the lawns or the golf
course). The pony had a reflective thing on his tail, and her 'head'
had a flashlight in it (a pumpkin), and I followed in the car..


My kid is an only, so she has no siblings (or even younger children she
can borrow) that she can ferry around. She argues that at 11, she's
still a child and should be allowed to trick-or-treat. But she doesn't
stop there...she tries to tell me that she'll be a child until she's
18. (She should have stopped while she was ahead!) I told her we have
vastly different definitions of what "child" means.

So, barring the fact that she's an advanced thinker...how old *is* too
old, in your opinion?

Love the pony story. And thanks for your comments.

beeswing

  #4  
Old September 17th 06, 05:55 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Rosalie B.
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Posts: 984
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

"beeswing" wrote:

Rosalie B. wrote:
"beeswing" wrote:

My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

If she's old enough to think of that, then she's probably too old to
go. If one of my kids said something like that it would be instantly
evident to me that they were too old to go.


She's precocious ("gifted," even)...but that doesn't make her old. So
her mental prowess isn't going to be a deciding factor for me. And, for
that matter, she's tall for her age and more developed than some girls
her age.She's gonna *look* older than she is. That confuses the issue
for me, but I don't think I should let it weigh into the issue. It's
not her fault she's big for her age.

I'm not sure she's really that much out of the ordinary. I was the
same way - I was once mistaken for my dad's wife (and my mom for his
mother which didn't make her too happy).
http://p.vtourist.com/649151-Zoo_gar...50-Antwerp.jpg is
a picture of my sister (age 10), my mom and me (age 12). I was dating
(single dating not in a group) at 12, although I was dating a boy my
own age, so his dad had to drive us to the movies. I think I was
probably precocious too, at least mentally, but socially I was quite
naive.

The kids that were in my 6th grade homeroom (when I was teaching) -
the girls were adult looking while the boys were still little kids.
One of the girls dropped out of school (6th grade) because she was
pregnant.

But actually trick or treat wasn't that big a deal for us.


For some reason, it's really important to her this year.


Maybe you should find out why. What is going to be going on that she
doesn't want to miss. Is it something that you wouldn't approve of?
It would have my mom antenna going.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?

My older kids went out with their little brother and sister sometimes.
I don't remember how long, actually. I know my dd#3 went trick or
treating on her pony (so she would have had to be at least 10 or 11
because that's when she got the pony) as the Headless Horseman. But
we only went in the neighborhood where people knew us. Her brother
was 3 years younger, and her older sisters were 5 and 7 years older..

(And she stayed in the street with the pony while someone else got
her treats for her IIRC - she didn't ride across the lawns or the golf
course). The pony had a reflective thing on his tail, and her 'head'
had a flashlight in it (a pumpkin), and I followed in the car..


My kid is an only, so she has no siblings (or even younger children she
can borrow) that she can ferry around. She argues that at 11, she's
still a child and should be allowed to trick-or-treat. But she doesn't
stop there...she tries to tell me that she'll be a child until she's
18. (She should have stopped while she was ahead!) I told her we have
vastly different definitions of what "child" means.

I think if she won't tell you why she wants to go so much, then she
shouldn't go.

So, barring the fact that she's an advanced thinker...how old *is* too
old, in your opinion?

I've had quite old kids come around - definitely mid teen or high
school age. I didn't like it too much, but it wasn't awful. In the
old days (like back when my dad was a child - pre WWI) I think it was
primarily older kids that did it, but that was when "Trick or Treat"
was really a threat.

Love the pony story. And thanks for your comments.


  #5  
Old September 17th 06, 07:19 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beeswing
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 16
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

Rosalie B. wrote:

I'm not sure she's really that much out of the ordinary. I was the
same way - I was once mistaken for my dad's wife (and my mom for his
mother which didn't make her too happy).
http://p.vtourist.com/649151-Zoo_gar...50-Antwerp.jpg is
a picture of my sister (age 10), my mom and me (age 12). I was dating
(single dating not in a group) at 12, although I was dating a boy my
own age, so his dad had to drive us to the movies. I think I was
probably precocious too, at least mentally, but socially I was quite
naive.


That's a great picture. Yeah, my kid could be said to be mentally
precocious but socially naive... But she's not at all interested in
dating, either. (In fact, she's in a private all-girls' middle school
and quite happy to be there, without the distraction of boys.)

For some reason, it's really important to her this year.


Maybe you should find out why. What is going to be going on that she
doesn't want to miss. Is it something that you wouldn't approve of?
It would have my mom antenna going.
SNIP
I think if she won't tell you why she wants to go so much, then she
shouldn't go.


She wants to design costumes in conjunction with a friend of hers. The
friend is 13...maybe 14. Plus she thinks it's fun. She doesn't have any
secret evil plans, at least as far as I can sense.

So, barring the fact that she's an advanced thinker...how old *is* too
old, in your opinion?

I've had quite old kids come around - definitely mid teen or high
school age. I didn't like it too much, but it wasn't awful. In the
old days (like back when my dad was a child - pre WWI) I think it was
primarily older kids that did it, but that was when "Trick or Treat"
was really a threat.


Thanks. At this point, I'm inclined to let her...with the admonishment
that this *really* will be the last year.

I appreciate your input!

beeswing

  #6  
Old September 17th 06, 08:17 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?


beeswing wrote:
My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?


My oldest just turned 13. He went last year, and plans to go again
this year. We go as a group with another family with 3 boys; he's the
oldest but not by far. None of the boys has hit a growth spurt yet, so
they all still look like children, which does make it easier.

When I was growing up, there was a natural social pressure and kids
starte feeling too old around 12-14yo and stopped on their own. I
don't really see any harm in it if they kids are still enjoying making
a costume and having fun with it. It's when teens come around in a
lame 30-second costume and are clearly just out for the free treats
that it starts to seem tacky, IMO.

Let her have her childhood.

--Robyn

  #7  
Old September 17th 06, 08:18 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Banty
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Posts: 2,278
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?

In article .com, beeswing
says...

My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade, which in her
school is the second year of middle school. I let her trick-or-treat
last year but feel like this year she has crossed into the "too old"
zone. She's accused me of trying to take away her childhood (!), so I
thought I'd raise the question here.

What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? When
I was growing up, 6th grade was my last year, but junior high started
in 7th. Am I being reasonable stopping her at this age, do I give her
one last year, or do folks here think trick or treating should continue
into the teens?


What defines "too old"? Since in my area I see teens trick or treating all the
time, I'd say she's not too old yet. The teens do some of the cutest getups.
They tend to knock later than the younger set - something around nine o'clock.
It's clearly a social thing for them.

Last year when he was 13, my son went. I lent him my cell phone for him to call
in.

I recall trick or treating at 12 - I went around dressed in black with my black
cat on my shoulder. It was a hit.

Banty

  #8  
Old September 17th 06, 08:19 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Beth Kevles
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Posts: 269
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?


Hi --

In our neighborhood, kids go even into high school. However, they stop
asking for candy and instead tote a Unicef box at some point. (They
take the candy if offered :-)

I honestly think that if she wants to go, she should go. Once she's
embarassed about going, she'll stop. Or she'll find an excuse that has
her looking mature but lets her go around the neighborhood anyway (such
as collecting for Unicef or chaperoning some younger kid(s).)

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

  #9  
Old September 17th 06, 09:22 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Dawn
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Posts: 10
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?


beeswing wrote:
My daughter will be 12 in December and is in 6th grade

(snip)
What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat?


I think it's too old when the kid doesn't want to go anymore. For
Henry, that was 12 -- but I wouldn't fight him if he still wanted to go
(or if he wanted to go with friends this year). I suspect he stopped
because he got tall early and felt uncomfortable -- he turns 14 today
and is 6'3"

I'd require him to dress up -- I can't handle the 16 year olds in jeans
and a t-shirt with a Wal-mart plastic sack... but I do still give them
candy on the theory that there is a lot worse those kids could be doing
on Halloween night.

Come to think of it, why not think of it that way? Wouldn't you
*prefer* she still wanted to trick-or-treat as opposed to the other
things teens do on Halloween?

FWIW, in our part of the country, which is just a few miles north of
the border with Mexico, the Halloween season is a multi-generational
celebration and we actually get a fair number of adults at our door
each year (in great costumes). The Mexican "Day Of The Dead" (Dia de
los Muerta) celebrations are pretty cool. But then, I *love* Halloween
and decorate almost as much for it as I do for Christmas.

-Dawn
Mom to Henry, 14 today!!!!

  #10  
Old September 18th 06, 06:17 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Chris
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Posts: 23
Default Trick-or-treating -- how old is too old?


beeswing wrote:
..
What do parents here think? How old is too old to trick-or-treat? .


My older son who turned 15 yesterday didn't go last year, but I think
he did the year before, when he was 13--partly because he went with his
9 year old brother. Evan, who will turn 11 just before Halloween and is
in 6th grade will probably want to go this year, but I imagine it will
be his last. We live in a rural area and they usually only go to 5-8
houses on our road. Everyone only gets a dozen or so trick or
treaters, so they give out handfuls of candy. He probably gets as much
from those houses as if he went to 20-30 and got one piece at every
stop. Halloween is my least favorite holiday of all and we are pretty
low-key about it, so I don't expect either boy to really persist in
trick or treating very much longer.

Chris

 




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