Family Law Question

Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.


Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.


I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.


Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.


I'd appreciate any help you could give me.


Thanks.

What, precisely, is involved with "paying for university"? Tuition and
fees? Books? Room, board, and all other expenses? That's an important
question.
How long have you been at university already? Why is it going to take you
until you are 24 to complete your studies? Are you going for a BA degree?
Or a more advanced degree? Does the agreement cover advanced degrees? If
you decided to go for your PhD, would your parents be required to pay for
that, also?

If child support is paid directly to you, will that cover enough of your
expenses to permit you to live away from your mother's house? Are you
willing to put up with your difficulties with your mother in order to
complete your studies? What, precisely, will you lose if you move out of
her home, and she makes good on her threat to stop paying for university?

Can you work part time and still complete your studies?

wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.


Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.


I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.


Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.


I'd appreciate any help you could give me.


Thanks.

wrote in message
oups.com...
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.


Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.


I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.


Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.


I'd appreciate any help you could give me.

You, or your dad, needs to pay for legal counsel to help you understand your
legal options. Some states in the U.S. allow college students over the age
of 17 to "join" the CS case and get a legal CS order from both parents. My
state allows the CS to be paid directly to the child attending school. You
need to understand what Ontario law says about your issues before you act.
There may be a statutory upper age limit on CS obligations for college
students.

You are not the first child of divorce to come to the realization that when
you become expensive in the eyes of your mother, the mother wants to get out
from under previous agreements and no longer support you.

My advice would be to have you ask your dad to be your financial advisor,
ask your dad to seek the answers to the legal questions, and focus on your
studies.

On Apr 29, 7:05?pm, wrote:
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.

Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.

I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.

Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.

I'd appreciate any help you could give me.

Thanks.

I would say it's unlikely she will have to pay.anything. In fact,
neither will your father. By not being under either's "care", you will
become offially emancipated and therefore they will no longer be
subject to the agreement. You could "say" you will be under your
fathers "care", but that would require a new agreement, and your
mother is unlikely to agree to anything. The agreement was made
between your Mom and Dad, not between you, your Mom and Dad.

On Apr 29, 7:05?pm, wrote:
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.

Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.

I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.

Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.

I'd appreciate any help you could give me.

Thanks.

Also, as techermama pointed out, being 24 before you graduate is also
a problem. Are you an undergrad? At 21, you should be almost finished.
If you are (will be) a grad student, that makes your case even worse.
The agreement isn't intended to cover "career" students. If that was
the case, you could simply stay enrolled in school, get 10 degree's
and they would be forced to support you until you are in your 30's.
It's doesnt work that way.

You should still probably talk to a lawyer though as it's pretty
certain your Mom will the minute you move out.

Most custodial parents, once the kid becomes a financial burden, are
pretty fast to dump them.

"Relayer" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Apr 29, 7:05?pm, wrote:
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.

Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.

I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.

Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.

I'd appreciate any help you could give me.

Thanks.

Also, as techermama pointed out, being 24 before you graduate is also
a problem. Are you an undergrad? At 21, you should be almost finished.
If you are (will be) a grad student, that makes your case even worse.
The agreement isn't intended to cover "career" students. If that was
the case, you could simply stay enrolled in school, get 10 degree's
and they would be forced to support you until you are in your 30's.
It's doesnt work that way.

You should still probably talk to a lawyer though as it's pretty
certain your Mom will the minute you move out.

Most custodial parents, once the kid becomes a financial burden, are
pretty fast to dump them.

Better yet, how about her being responsible for her OWN welfare, as any
adult ought to be, and stop trying to live on handouts.
Hint: Taking care of YOU benefits only YOU. Thus, the responsibility to care
for yourself rests with you alone.
I learned this lesson in second grade, and took FULL responsibility for my
personal welfare by the time I became an adult; and I would have it no other
way!
It escapes me how anyone can be lazy and expect others to carry their weight
through the force of law.

You have no right to judge me or my situation, since it is unique to
me.

Thank you all so much for being so judgemental and unhelpful.

On 1 mai, 18:06, "Chris" wrote:
"Relayer" wrote in message

oups.com...



On Apr 29, 7:05?pm, wrote:
Hi,

I'm a 21 year old ontario university student with divorced parents.
In
their divorce agreement, they agreed to pay for my university and to
support me financially until my studies were over.

Well, we are 3 years away from that and things are really not peachy
with my mother, who I have been living with since the divorce (a
good...15 years ago, I think). My psychologist has recommended to me
that I move out, as have other people in my life. This didn't seem
like a feasible option before, but I'm starting to consider it.

I'm thinking of moving out, but I've been told by my mother that if I
do, she will cease to pay for my university. I was talking to my dad
about it today (he lives 3 hours away) and he said that she still has
to. He also said that I would be able to potentially get the child
support directly given to me instead of to my mother, thus enabling
me
to move out and to be able to pay for my studies/expenses.

Does this work? Is it done? Do I have any ressources? I definetly
can't afford a lawyer, and I'm trying to figure out my options right
now.

I'd appreciate any help you could give me.

Thanks.

Also, as techermama pointed out, being 24 before you graduate is also
a problem. Are you an undergrad? At 21, you should be almost finished.
If you are (will be) a grad student, that makes your case even worse.
The agreement isn't intended to cover "career" students. If that was
the case, you could simply stay enrolled in school, get 10 degree's
and they would be forced to support you until you are in your 30's.
It's doesnt work that way.

You should still probably talk to a lawyer though as it's pretty
certain your Mom will the minute you move out.

Most custodial parents, once the kid becomes a financial burden, are
pretty fast to dump them.

Better yet, how about her being responsible for her OWN welfare, as any
adult ought to be, and stop trying to live on handouts.
Hint: Taking care of YOU benefits only YOU. Thus, the responsibility to care
for yourself rests with you alone.
I learned this lesson in second grade, and took FULL responsibility for my
personal welfare by the time I became an adult; and I would have it no other
way!
It escapes me how anyone can be lazy and expect others to carry their weight
through the force of law.

wrote
You have no right to judge me or my situation, since it is unique to
me.
==
Ummm...You asked.
==

Thank you all so much for being so judgemental and unhelpful.
==
Suggesting you grow up and accept responsibility for yourself is judgmental
and unhelpful?
That's an interesting perspective on adulthood.
==

On May 2, 12:05 pm, "Gini" wrote:
wrote You have no right to judge me or my situation, since it is unique to
me.

==
Ummm...You asked.
==

Thank you all so much for being so judgemental and unhelpful.

==
Suggesting you grow up and accept responsibility for yourself is judgmental
and unhelpful?
That's an interesting perspective on adulthood.
==

Let us NOT judge...fact is, this is the PRODUCT of our lovely Child
Support System who teaches CPs and kids to feel the WORLD owes them
and it's up to the WORLD to support them on whatever decisions they
make...Watch out, if things continue as they are, we'll have many more
ADULTS as spoiled thanks to the CSE offices around the country.

"whatamess" wrote in

Let us NOT judge...fact is, this is the PRODUCT of our lovely Child
Support System who teaches CPs and kids to feel the WORLD owes them
and it's up to the WORLD to support them on whatever decisions they
make...Watch out, if things continue as they are, we'll have many more
ADULTS as spoiled thanks to the CSE offices around the country.

THE CSE office is just more proof of a big government system that is vastly
out of touch with the real world.

Some how we gave it the power to exist in it's present forum, how do we take
away it's power and total authority and serve the real needs of the children
it was intended for?