Update of all updates

Holy ****... I knew something was wrong when I got a phone message from
Grandpa M (Sage's fathers father) but I didn't think it would be this bad.

Sage's father died last night. No one knows much as to why.... just that he
was spitting blood, pain, they don't know anything. His mother, who I am
pretty close to, was there with him over the weekend for a visit and she
made him see a MD but other then that, that is all I know.

I am glad she had recent contact with him now. Maybe it will help her in the
long run.

I haven't told her yet. I think it best to have her get to school tomorrow
and tell her after school. (I know, I know..... I just think she should get
a good nights sleep.)

If she wants to go to the funeral, they are taking him back to upstate NY so
we will have to go there for atleast 2 days. Why am I thinking of missing
work and the impact on my wallet? (I am insensitive ass, so no one needs to
bother calling me names)

What if she doesn't want to go? Do I make her? Do I talk her into it? Should
we go? ****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with her. My
grandmother passed away last year but she was old, you expect it from the
older loved ones in your life.

Thanks in advance guys.

T

Wow. What a shock.


I am glad she had recent contact with him now. Maybe it will help her in the
long run.

Well now she can believe that her father *would* have come around and spent
more time with her and been a dad to her. She can believe that he didn't want
to leave her.

What if she doesn't want to go? Do I make her? Do I talk her into it? Should
we go? ****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with her.

If she doesn't want to go, you don't need to make her, but you might want to
find out what she is afraid of going...I think it might be better for her to
go, but it's a tough call.

Good luck

joelle

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page - St
Augustine
Joelle

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...
nip

What if she doesn't want to go? Do I make her? Do I talk her into it? Should
we go? ****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with her. My
grandmother passed away last year but she was old, you expect it from the
older loved ones in your life.

Thanks in advance guys.

T


How old again is your child? I would not force her. I despise funerals and
resent that my parents made me go to ones I truly did not want to go to. I
don't think there is anything theraputic to see a dead body laying in a
casket.
Just my point zero two cents.
V

Subject: Update of all updates
From: "Tiffany"
Date: 4/28/2004 9:45 PM Eastern Standard Time
Message-id:

Holy ****... I knew something was wrong when I got a phone message from
Grandpa M (Sage's fathers father) but I didn't think it would be this bad.

Sage's father died last night. No one knows much as to why.... just that he
was spitting blood, pain, they don't know anything. His mother, who I am
pretty close to, was there with him over the weekend for a visit and she
made him see a MD but other then that, that is all I know.

I am glad she had recent contact with him now. Maybe it will help her in the
long run.

Sorry to hear Tiff, It takes a lot of strength and understanding to help your
daughter through, as well as yourself, yeah he is your ex, but he is also the
father of your child, don't be surprised if you feel a bit *off* yourself.
(((Tiff)))


I haven't told her yet. I think it best to have her get to school tomorrow
and tell her after school. (I know, I know..... I just think she should get
a good nights sleep.)


Moms and Dads usually know thier kids best so yeah do what you are feeling with
this.


If she wants to go to the funeral, they are taking him back to upstate NY so
we will have to go there for atleast 2 days. Why am I thinking of missing
work and the impact on my wallet? (I am insensitive ass, so no one needs to
bother calling me names)


I don't see this as insensitive.


What if she doesn't want to go?

She is old enough to make this decision, Let her make it.


do I make her? Do I talk her into it?


No, I would not, I had a hard time with my daughter who was your daughters age
when G died, she was scared and she wanted to but didn't want to go . She did
decide to go the first day with a promise from me she could leave if she felt
she had to. She stayed the first night, but did not go to any more of the
veiwing or the funeral.



should we go? ****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with
her. My
grandmother passed away last year but she was old, you expect it from the
older loved ones in your life.

Hopefully your daughter will decide to go , closure is important, yes if she
decides to go you should try and get her there. Dealing with your daughter will
come naturally, You can do this, the effects of his death will not cripple you
,but losing her dad ,good or bad influence in her life is gonna be hard on her
and with your support she will get through it. Good luck Tiff.
Bev


Thanks in advance guys.

T

On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 21:45:40 -0400, "Tiffany"
wrote:

Holy ****... I knew something was wrong when I got a phone message from
Grandpa M (Sage's fathers father) but I didn't think it would be this bad.

Sage's father died last night. No one knows much as to why.... just that he
was spitting blood, pain, they don't know anything. His mother, who I am
pretty close to, was there with him over the weekend for a visit and she
made him see a MD but other then that, that is all I know.

I am glad she had recent contact with him now. Maybe it will help her in the
long run.

I haven't told her yet. I think it best to have her get to school tomorrow
and tell her after school. (I know, I know..... I just think she should get
a good nights sleep.)

If she wants to go to the funeral, they are taking him back to upstate NY so
we will have to go there for atleast 2 days. Why am I thinking of missing
work and the impact on my wallet? (I am insensitive ass, so no one needs to
bother calling me names)

What if she doesn't want to go? Do I make her? Do I talk her into it? Should
we go? ****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with her. My
grandmother passed away last year but she was old, you expect it from the
older loved ones in your life.

Thanks in advance guys.

Wow, Tiffany. My condolences to you and to your daughter.

lm

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

Holy ****... I knew something was wrong when I got a phone message from
Grandpa M (Sage's fathers father) but I didn't think it would be this bad.

Sage's father died last night. No one knows much as to why.... just that
he
was spitting blood, pain, they don't know anything. His mother, who I am
pretty close to, was there with him over the weekend for a visit and she
made him see a MD but other then that, that is all I know.

This is always bad news regardless of anything else. My sympathies to
everyone affected.

I am glad she had recent contact with him now. Maybe it will help her in
the
long run.

Let's hope so.

I haven't told her yet. I think it best to have her get to school tomorrow
and tell her after school. (I know, I know..... I just think she should
get
a good nights sleep.)

I agree, there's no rush and it's better to be in a decent state of mind to
find out something like this. Assuming there's a choice of course.

If she wants to go to the funeral, they are taking him back to upstate NY
so
we will have to go there for atleast 2 days. Why am I thinking of missing
work and the impact on my wallet? (I am insensitive ass, so no one needs
to
bother calling me names)

You're nothing of the sort. All sorts of weird thoughts run through the
mind at times like this so don't be too hard on yourself.

What if she doesn't want to go?

Then I'd say it's her choice.

Do I make her? Do I talk her into it?

If it were me I don't think I would, no. If she wants to go that's
different but forcing her to go if she *really* doesn't want to will
probably do more harm than good. You know her, so you're in the best
position to decide.

Should we go?

If you want to.

****!!!!! I don't know how to handle death when dealing with her.

It's never easy but I'd suggest trying to be honest. If your feelings are
confused then don't be afraid to say so. There's no right or wrong way to
feel at a time like this.

My grandmother passed away last year but she was old, you expect it
from the older loved ones in your life.

True but in some ways it's still a shock.

Thanks in advance guys.

Just hope it helps.


--
Paul Griffiths

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Again, thank to all for the support. All the advice has been helpful. The
service is Sunday so we will head up Saturday or Sunday morning. I haven't
really spoke with anyone yet, just message's left on the machine. I think
Sage would like to go up early to see everyone. I am not sending her alone,
I am going to drive her up. I will probably go off on my own for some time
though so she can have time with them. She is doing ok for now. She went to
school yesterday but I think it got to her, everyone cooing over her. She is
going to hang out with me today at work.

I copied the few pictures of him and her I have and she said she will make a
collage and frame it for him.

I am dreading this weekend. I know how its going to go, I hope I bite my
tongue if/when a relative talks like he was a great dad. I know that won't
be the time plus what they don't know won't hurt them. Maybe some muscle
relaxes are in order.

T

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Things here have been ok. My daughter got pictures together (we only had a
few of the 2 of them) and we copied them and she made a poster of the pics
of her, her and him, his family, his dog, ect. It turned out pretty nice.
She is going to put it in the coffin.

She tells me she didn't want to go up there today because she knows when she
gets there, everyone is going to 'freak out'. I said, yes, they will be very
emotional and then you will become just as emotional and that is fine. But
she said, everyone thinks she should be so devastated but she isn't because
she didn't know him that well. I said that is true and a legitament feeling.
She said that I didn't seem upset, that I hadn't cried. I said, I am
different, I am not a big crier. But that is me, and she can cry all she
wants. She can scream and do anything and feel anything. It is hard for me
to tell her that I really don't feel much one way or the other. Anyone
losing their life is sad though. I feel for her and his family. When we
called up there to say we wouldn't be there until tomorrow, I think they
were upset. Oh well. I can't be concerned with everyone else, she comes
first.

So we are off early in the morning, the wake is at 3 then the funeral is
Monday morning.

Thanks again all for all the support.

Tiffany

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

So we are off early in the morning, the wake is at 3 then the funeral is
Monday morning.

Thanks again all for all the support.

I hope it works out okay for you all. Thinking of you.


--
Paul Griffiths

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...

"Tiffany" wrote in message
...


Things here have been ok. My daughter got pictures together (we only had a
few of the 2 of them) and we copied them and she made a poster of the pics
of her, her and him, his family, his dog, ect. It turned out pretty nice.
She is going to put it in the coffin.

She tells me she didn't want to go up there today because she knows when
she
gets there, everyone is going to 'freak out'. I said, yes, they will be
very
emotional and then you will become just as emotional and that is fine. But
she said, everyone thinks she should be so devastated but she isn't
because
she didn't know him that well. I said that is true and a legitament
feeling.
She said that I didn't seem upset, that I hadn't cried. I said, I am
different, I am not a big crier. But that is me, and she can cry all she
wants. She can scream and do anything and feel anything. It is hard for me
to tell her that I really don't feel much one way or the other. Anyone
losing their life is sad though. I feel for her and his family. When we
called up there to say we wouldn't be there until tomorrow, I think they
were upset. Oh well. I can't be concerned with everyone else, she comes
first.

So we are off early in the morning, the wake is at 3 then the funeral is
Monday morning.

Thanks again all for all the support.

Tiffany


My thoughts are with you and your daughter Tiff. Have a safe trip.

Christine